Married to an Alcoholic or Addict

Married to an Alcoholic or Addict

Beautiful bride

Are you married to an alcoholic or addict?  If so then you might be looking for help with the situation.

Most people who are married to someone like this is hoping to convince them to stop drinking or using drugs.  They have probably had several arguments and even fights with their spouse about their drinking or drug use.  But of course the cycle has continued, and it always seems to get worse eventually, even if there are periods of temporary improvement.

This is one of the defining characteristics of addiction and alcoholism.  It always gets worse over time.  Never better.  A person might have one night or even one week where they appear to be consuming much less, but over the long haul, the addiction always gets progressively worse.  If you are married to an addict or an alcoholic who is in denial about their condition, you can probably judge for yourself after a year or two.  The general trend is that it gets worse over time, never better.

Now if your spouse is in denial about their problem then they are at a point where they refuse to change.  They might admit that they drink too much or use too many drugs, but they are not willing to take action to do anything about their problem.  If this is the case then they are not ready to stop using and nothing is going to change until they surrender fully.  This may or may not happen during their lifetime.  They may never fully surrender to their disease of addiction, and it might drag on with them until the day they die.

Are you prepared for such an eventuality?  It could happen.  At some point you might be facing the choice of whether or not you want to stick around and see if they do ever decide to change.  Because they are not going to change based on your pleas or your ultimatums (or they would have done so already in most cases).

So that leaves you with 3 choices: you can stay with them an do nothing, or you can leave the marriage, or you can go get some help yourself in Al-anon and seek guidance from the group there.  If you have never been to an Al-anon meeting then you should go to one.  Find a meeting and go to it.  You will be glad you did and you can get pinpoint advice from the good people there about your situation.