Why Some Recovering Drug Addicts and Alcoholics Fail to Avoid Relapse
Recovering drug addicts and alcoholics know that relapse is a real possibility, because we see so many people in the program who fail to stay sober on a regular basis. Given the low success rates in overcoming addiction, it is not unreasonable to have a certain amount of fear regarding the idea of relapse.
Noticing a Shift to a Behavioral Approach in Recovery
One thing I’ve noticed in recovery is that there has been a real shift to a behavioral strategy in the twelve step fellowships. This is the main reason that so many addicts and alcoholics tend to relapse. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is designed to bring about a spiritual experience–”a shift in personality sufficient enough to relieve the problem of drink.”
But in attending AA meetings, I have noticed that the emphasis is rarely on this spiritual experience, but instead has shifted to this shopping list of actions that the newcomer must take in order to stay clean. For example, you’ll hear that we need to stay away from “people, places, and things” that caused us to drink or drug. This is a behavioral strategy, not a spiritual solution.
The Spiritual Experience
This complication comes from describing the effects of the spiritual experience, instead of communicating the causes. Look at it like this: say you have a spiritual awakening, and as a result, you have this wonderful new connection with a higher power. You go to meetings and share about this connection with newcomers and try to help them. Instead of selfishly focusing on how you can stay drug or high, you are now actively trying to help others recover from addiction. You read the big book in order that you might carry a more helpful message to the newcomer. This is a recovery that is driven by a spiritual experience. Notice that the things you are doing are a result of having a spiritual experience. In contrast, the behavioral approach is telling the newcomer to take these actions without any regard for the spiritual experience. We tell them to read the book, to work with others, and so on. But those are the effects of the spiritual experience, not the causes. The tragedy of this is that the newcomer can then take these actions and act “as if,” without ever undergoing any spiritual transformation whatsoever.
Recovering from the Inside Out
The power of having a spiritual experience is that it will change your outward behaviors–from the inside. For example, instead of consciously avoiding those “slippery places” and hoping to stay sober, having a spiritual experience will allow you to naturally avoid those slippery places, simply as a function of your new inner state. In other words, you won’t “have to go there,” nor will you want to. Having a spiritual experience will change the newcomer–from the inside out. This is the path to lasting recovery.
Practical Application: Focus on the Spiritual Experience
The solution should be obvious: addicts and alcoholics who repeatedly relapse are those who lack a spiritual experience. They might try to change their outward behaviors and act “as if,” but inside, they lack that critical spiritual transformation. A behavioral approach can only take you so far–it’s like staying sober by hanging onto the side of a cliff with your fingernails. The way to a lasting recovery is to pursue the spiritual experience. One way to do this is by actively working the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
David Says:
You talk as though a “spiritual experience” is somthing we choose to have,like an ice cream cone.If we are ready to have one we will if not we won’t.
Patrick Says:
That is a good point, David, and your idea is worth exploring.
On one hand, I feel that I am blessed and almost “chosen” as a lucky individual who “gets” recovery. On the other hand, I feel that getting to this point required some initiative on my part.
I’m going to write a follow-up post addressing this exact issue. Thanks for your feedback…this brings up an excellent topic to explore.
George Says:
We choose to have a spiritual experience when we choose to embrace the Steps. The Steps are a group of principles, spiritual in nature, that if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obession to drink and allow the sufferer to live a happy and useful life. That’s from AA literature, and is my exact experience. If you’re not “ready” to have a spiritual experience, keep drinking. If you are ready, start practicing the Steps.
Patrick Says:
Thanks for the comment, George. Your idea is that one can choose to have a spiritual experience through choosing to work the steps. A follow-up question to that might be: can a person choose to have a spiritual experience, and achieve one, but not work the 12 steps? (surely there are others outside of addiction and recovery who undergo a spiritual experience without ever gaining knowledge of the 12 step fellowship?).
George, you also say that if you’re not “ready,” then keep drinking. Can a person choose to “become ready?” Or is that willingness a blessing from our Higher Power?
In my experience, I tend to lean towards the belief that I was chosen, that I was blessed, that God nudged me towards willingness to change. I don’t think I manifested that desire on my own. I was still hell-bent on self destructing.
Excellent discussion so far…thanks for all the comments!
Texaco Says:
As far as I’m concerned if we’re NOT talking about God it’s NOT AA. (That is the main purpose of the book, after all.)
Fritz Baker Says:
Really like the comments here. I was doing an “outside job” for a long time and was a chronic relapser. My ego and willpower (turned in the wrong direction) Kept standing in the way. I never got a qualified sponsor and worked through the steps to get the necessary spiritual experience to stay sober. When I got back to treatment the first thing my counselor had me do was read and write an essay on the appendix to the big book on spiritual experience. I have since become a substance abuse counselor and interventionist. I have learned different Models of addiction and the disease concept but I know as a person in recovery that the entire process begins with a lack or loss of Hope, Intimacy, Meaning, Purpose and or ASelf-esteem. This leads to depression and anxiety and self medication putting the cycle into motion. My field tends to focus too strongly on the behavioral approach vs. the working of the 12 Steps. They are vital to any kind of spiritual experience.
Patrick Says:
Hi there Fritz
That’s awesome that you are now a counselor. I would agree that focusing too strongly on a behavioral approach is a mistake. Good luck to you and God bless.
Justin Says:
All recovering addicts do not have GOD in their life, nor do they need GOD to recover and become and stay sober. What you need is a desire to stay sober and help other addicts achieve sobriety. You can have a spiritual experience without GOD or religion, just going to an AA meeting is enough of a spiritual experience for some. For me GOD has been a (G)roup (O)f
(D)runks. Work AA as you need to, it might not be the way someone else does it, but if it works for you, then it works, and thats all that matters.
The issue here is the difference between spirituality and religion. Religion is a term used to mean adherence to the beliefs and practices of an organized church or religious institution. “Spirituality” is different, it refers to a unique, personally meaningful experience. Although spirituality may sometimes for some include various forms of religiousness, spirituality does not have to involve religiousness at all.
My definition of the spiritual experience assumes that psychological growth and spiritual growth are synonymous. It must be remembered that this is a process definition, not a content definition. Although the content of a spiritual experience, such as “God,” “Christ,” or “higher power,” may be extremely inspiring because it carries such rich, implicit meanings for a particular person, my definition is concerned with the psycho-spiritual change process. To describe the psycho-spiritual change process in which many growth events occur, the term “psycho-spiritual experiencing” may be used.
Any definition of spirituality that depends solely on content will be judgmental because it will exclude some people. Judging whether a addict’s experience is spiritual or not, based on content or on the addict’s words, has the disadvantage that words, such as “God,” “Allah,” or “Christ,” have different meanings or connotations for each person. Instead, this decision can be based on the addict’s experiencing process. For example, do they feel more easing and life energy? Is the client able to accept or reach out to more parts of him- or herself, to others, and to more of life?
rick Says:
there are many paths to recover; no one (i.e. AA) is any better, faster, or more effective (statistically) than any other. This is statistically proved.
ann Says:
I am with a recovering alcoholic and our marriage is seriously damaged. I am questioning my own sanity in leaving this relationship to be with someone who is a recovering crack addict and is 9 years clean, employed, going to meetings etc. Am I crazy??
Laura Says:
Ann, before you go any further, you need to work the Steps yourself. ‘Trading’ individuals may not be a solution, in fact, your problems may continue into your new relationships. Co-dependency is much of a ‘disease’ as addiction. You, too, need recovery.