What is it that makes a drug addict or an alcoholic continuously relapse, while others seem to finally “get it” and start living a successful life of recovery?
This topic is discussed at great lengths in recovery circles. Here are some of the possible reasons for a relapse that you’ll hear being thrown around when an addict inexplicably relapses:
They’re not ready yet. Obvious. And not very useful, either. Unfortunately, this statement is probably the most accurate. Anyone who relapses or fails to take any interest in getting clean and sober in the first place fits this criteria. Of course they weren’t ready yet. But why not? We can look deeper than this, and hopefully extract something more useful.
They are trapped by their environment….they need to change the people, places, and things in their lives. Conventional recovery wisdom goes against this idea, saying that a change in environment–such as moving to a new city in order to get a “fresh start” and quit drinking–doesn’t really work. On the other hand, the program advocates changing some of the negative influences in our lives if we are to remain clean and sober.
They’re not getting the spiritual side of the program. Anyone who is working with recovering addicts and alcoholics will tell you that the people who do not relapse are the ones who have really connected to the spiritual side of the program. This “connection” is characterized by a relationship with a higher power, the pursuit of personal growth, and a shift in personality away from self-centeredness. It is almost universally agreed upon that addicts who are on this path of spiritual growth do not relapse.
They haven’t had enough pain yet. This is basically the same as “They’re not ready yet.” All the same, it seems that some addicts and alcoholics just have a higher tolerance for abusing themselves, and have to keep going back out there and trying it out again. They have another saying that goes along with this one, referring to relapse: “It never gets any better.”
Action Items – What you can do:
1) Only invest time in helping an addict in proportion to their willingness. In other words, don’t waste all of your time and energy trying to help a chronic relapser who is not really willing to put any effort into recovery.
2) Give them space to fail. Part of the journey involves pain. Everyone who gets sober only does so after enduring much pain.
3) Learn the basics - of how you can help addicts.
Help for Alcoholism Do you or someone you love need drug or alcohol rehab? Take action and get the help you need right now. Drug Addiction Help What kind of drug rehab is right for you? Give us a call at 1-877-744-3536 Addiction Treatment Real help is available. We can give you the tools to recover. Start your new life today.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
My fiance after 9 month of beeing clean
from using crack last night she had a argument with me and went back to using.
i don’t understand why and im so hurt for her actions. even tho i still love her i don’t know what to do if she decied to return to me . please help me understand why she is doings this .
Hi there Emilio
I wish I had some profound wisdom for you, but some people are just not ready to get clean and sober.
I can tell you this: it’s not because she doesn’t love you. Chances are real good that she loves you very much. But love is not enough to conquer addiction. I know this because I used to be trapped in addiction myself and it was not love that brought me through it (unless perhaps it was God’s love….)
my baby always go out with his friends and leave me hanging waitng for him. . . .he likes drinking more with his friends than going out with me. . .
I am 62 years and have lived a very good life until my 37 year. that is when my woderfulfriends demonstrated meth on me. it has been worse than any dillusion that normal/real day life situation would dare peak over my fence to give even me smile of relief. I have brother , sister, daughter and a son that I have worn out there hopes and mine to. Please tell me who,what or how can I get AWAY FROM ALL THE DARKNESS. M.L.