Excuse #1: “I have to drink/use drugs in order to work or continue to be successful.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your career actually suffers due to your addiction, rather than being empowered by your drinking or drug use.
When I was still using drugs and alcohol, I tried to rationalize that drinking and drugging was beneficial to my work in different ways. After getting clean and sober, I have made huge leaps in my career and what I do for meaningful work in my life. The truth is that my drinking was severely limiting me, not empowering me.
Excuse #2: “I need to drink/use drugs in order to be social.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your drinking and drug use may have resulted in some occasional “fun times” in social environments, but over the long term it only serves to isolate you further. Not only that, but the true addict or alcoholic will eventually go overboard, use more than they planned on, and end up in embarrassing situations that they would have otherwise liked to avoid.
The truth is that we see ourselves as being “tragically hip and fatally cool” when we are intoxicated or high, but everyone else just thinks we are lame, or boring. Get over yourself.
Excuse #3: “I’m not hurting anyone else.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…you damage everyone around you when you continue to slowly self destruct, and deep down you realize that this is a negative path you are on. Intuitively you know that the right path is to get clean and sober and embrace the better version of yourself that you know you should be.
You also realize, deep down, that NOT rising to this challenge is a selfish and even cowardly act, though you may still struggle to summon the courage to do anything about it.
Excuse #4: “Everybody else drinks/uses drugs, so why shouldn’t I?”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…you are clearly not like “everybody else” when it comes to using drugs and alcohol, and “everybody else” does not seem to experience the same consequences and problems that you do.
You compare to others while you observe them drinking socially and reasonably, but then you want to indulge and get completely wasted until you are out of control. If you really want to drink like “everybody else,” then you would stop after having one drink, just like many of them do. But of course you cannot do that, and would never really want to anyway.
Excuse #5: “If you had my problems then you would drink or use drugs too.”
Oh really? Is that why….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…that everyone has problems, not just you. But some people are able to handle their problems without resorting to self-medicating with drugs or alcohol all the time.
The truth is that your problems are greatly complicated by your addiction, because you sabotage your own life and your own efforts at making any kind of real growth with yourself.
The truth is that if you got clean and sober for a year or even a few months, then “your problems” would be completely eradicated due to positive growth that you could be making every single day, rather than dragging yourself further and further into a negative lifestyle.
The truth is that you play the victim, because it is a convenient excuse to self medicate. Get over it already.
Excuse #6: “I’m not really addicted, and can stop any time I want.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…you are hopelessly stuck in denial, without a shred of reasonable logic left to defend yourself with. Anyone who claims that they “want” to keep drinking or using drugs, in the face of heavy life consequences, is in serious denial.
These are the people who are facing legal problems due to their addiction, or maybe they lost their job, or their spouse, or whatever….and yet they continue to claim that they could stop if only they wanted to….they just don’t want to!
This screams of denial. Alcoholics and addicts are those who continue to use, even when they have clearly suffered a loss due to their addiction.
Excuse #7: “I work hard and I deserve to indulge in this.”
Oh really?
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your addiction is now fueled more by pain and misery than it is by the seeking of new pleasure. Getting high or drunk has become your new baseline for existence, the only way you can even think about enjoying yourself, because without it…..you are miserable.
You say you “reward yourself” with drugs or alcohol, but you remain miserable about 98 percent of the time. How is that a joyful reward?
Excuse #8: “I suffer from XYZ and need this to help medicate me.”
Oh really? Is that why….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…you are medicating your mood, your emotions, and your boredom….not your physical health condition.
Even if your addiction started with a legitimate prescription, once it morphs into a true drug addiction, the idea that you are medicating your pain sort of goes out the window. If your prescriptions run out early or you take so much that you can no longer feel any pain, then that clearly puts you into the “abuse” category.
Generally speaking, properly medicating pain does not produce negative consequences! Abusing medication, however, does. So, consider your consequences.
Excuse #9: “I need to drink/use drugs in order to be creative.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…you only perceive greater creativity when you are drunk or high.
The real truth is that every artist or performer will naturally experience this. We think we are brilliant when we figure out the least little thing while we are intoxicated….but then when we sober up and objectively measure the results, we see that we actually perform our best work when we are sober.
This is something many creative types have struggled with and learned about. They thought that they could not create without their drug, but they learned otherwise. Stephen King is a great example.
Excuse #10: “I don’t drink/use as much as THAT guy. Now he has a problem.”
Oh really? Is that why….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…comparing yourself to others who are further down the dead end road of addiction is a pitiful way to justify your continued self destruction. Just because others are waiting in line to jump off the cliff of despair does not mean that you should be rushing to beat them to it.
The fact is that every alcoholic and addict will at some point experience the “yets”:
* “I have never wrecked a car from drunk driving” (yet)
* “I have never been divorced due to my drug use” (yet)
* “I have never lost a job because of my addiction” (yet)
* “I have never missed a little league ball game due to my drinking” (yet)
And so on. All of these “yets” will eventually come true for the addict or alcoholic, if they continue to use and not get any help for their addiction.
Maybe you have already experienced a few yets in your life? Things that you said would never happen, but they did…..and you kept on drinking or drugging anyway?
Or maybe you have justified your behavior, because you may not be hooked on drugs or alcohol, but instead of some sort of unusual addiction that manifests itself in other ways. Either way, you may be lying to yourself with these excuses.
Maybe it is time to finally do something about your problem.
Maybe all of these excuses really are BS.
Maybe you can ask for help. Get your life back.
Time to get over yourself and get straight for once (even though you know you are scared to do it).
######
Maybe you are not an addict or alcoholic, but perhaps you know one. If they are full of excuses, then send them to this article by emailing them this link:
http://www.spiritualriver.com/the-top-10-excuses-that-addicts-and-alcoholics-use-to-justify-their-addiction-and-why-it-is-all-bs/
Or maybe you want to email them anonymously? Now there is a sneaky thought!
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
A major excuse that I’d use for my life as a drunk was that I felt life lacked meaning. I was afraid of death and this made everything else seem pointless – if I was going to die I might as well do it on my own terms. The things that seemed to provide meaning for other people just didn’t do it for me – they seemed shallow. Alcohol made me brave and in the beginning seemed to give me power.
I was able to get sober in a Thai temple. While I was there a monk explained his theory of addiction to me. He felt that many people fall into addiction because they lose their path in life. Once the give up alcohol they can find their path and life can once again have meaning. That has been my experience. My life today is a precious thing and the meaning is to enjoy the journey.
@ Paul – Wise words, your ideas and experience matches up pretty closely with mine.
I can remember living in fear and enjoying the oblivion that alcohol provided. “I am going to die anyway, right?” It is a cowardly path, but I was definitely on it myself. Thanks for offering your input on this Paul. I bet others have used similar logic in justifying their drinking….
Thanks Patrick, I think that a problem with this thinking is that many of us can carry it on into recovery – I know I have done this in the past. This means that I’m trying to find satisfaction in life from things that didn’t satisfy me before I started drinking. I think real change occured when I found a different path.
this is very helpful to understand someone with addictions and never had one myself. I cant seem to understand why cant you (loved one) just stop already? It helps be prepared when presented with all the bullshit statements above this is awesome and very resourceful. Thank you very much!
Good luck, Mariel. It is tough to deal with someone who always has an excuse handy for their outrageous behavior….
I have a friend and an acquaintance who both say they smoke marijuana once daily….they deny they are addicted. They justify it by saying that ‘it’s not to the point where it’s affecting my work, so I can continue.’
These people spend their hard earned money on weed and all sorts of paraphinalia (?), yet deny their addiction?
@ Jon – I used to be in that same boat myself. Justification and rationalizing. “It’s not that bad” is what their argument boils down to, because they can still sustain their job, their health, etc.
And, they might be right, for all I know. But I know that I was addicted, so it was a problem….for ME.
Gotta get honest with yourself, in the end….
I have a brother in law who smokes marijuana and insists “everyone” else at work is doing it too…(major BS to me)… I have asked him what if they do a drug test? What if you get caught? What if you lose your job and have 5 children you are resposible for and losing your job will hurt financially – not to mention the other losses you could suffer?
Nevertheless it is always excusable – oh and he will also mention the fact that my sister’s teenager is having trouble with it and get all over her about it – my sister told him her teen was having problems – is trying to get her help – she is 18 you are 40! Grow up!! It is always just a bunch of excuses on his part.
Sherry and Cim, I would start here:
http://www.spiritualriver.com/i-have-a-son-daughter-mother-father-girlfriend-boyfriend-who-is-addicted-to-drugs-or-alcohol-what-can-i-do-to-help-them/
my boyfriend is an alcoholic, I’d rather him smoke weed any day over drinking!!!!!!!!!!! When he smokes, he is happy and calm, and mellow… when he drinks, he is loud, violent, and unpredictable. Please pray for me .
my cousin has 5 dui’s. 3 in the last 9 years. he was placed on 4 years probation through the courts and has a probation violation hearing soon. how do i write a letter of concern to the judge presiding over this and what do i say?
Any reason given not to get help for an addiction is an excuse.
“I dont need it” and then still using is an excuse.
I really like this article. I don’t know if it’s better or worse for your parent to completely miss your little league game (or in my case, school band concerts or awards ceremonies) or for them to show up late and stumble in reeking of alcohol.
I’ve been back to this site so far every day since I discovered it. I seem to read something each time that really speaks to me!
This list was helpful to me thank you so much for publishing it! I thought I was being a jerk asking the “oh really is that why?” part of the alcoholics excuse. I have heard them all. Except he has crashed the car with me in it, and he has missed events like valentines day or my cat scan. Then yells at me about how he fell off the pedestal! News flash People who are physically abusive when they get black out drunk do not belong on pedestals. This list seems much more true than I would ever care to admit. I hate that anyone else goes through this, but it does help to know I am not alone. Good riddance to my alcoholic. Thank you again for writing this.