Stop drinking today….how many reasons do you need?
As a recovering alcoholic, I know that this is a difficult decision. Even though there were a million reasons for me to stop drinking, I had a million reasons why I should continue. These reasons of mine to continue drinking were because of something called perceived benefits.
The tricky thing is that there are some real benefits to drinking alcohol for most of the adult population. But for the true alcoholic, those benefits are largely illusory, and become less and less valid as their disease progresses.
In other words, an alcoholic might cling to the “benefits” of drinking, rationalizing that these are important reasons for them to continue to self medicate, but in reality those reasons are no longer valid, and they are just fooling themselves. This is called denial.
The perceived benefits of drinking
The perceived benefits of drinking will be a bit different for different people. Just to give you an idea, here is what I thought alcohol was doing for me:
1) Fixed my shyness – Before I started drinking, I was naturally shy and found it difficult to speak in groups larger than 2 or 3 people without any anxiety. Alcohol fixed this. The problem is that, even though alcohol fixed this, it was not a viable long-term solution to the anxiety problem. This is because my tolerance increased and I had to drink more and more in order to overcome my shyness. Eventually it stopped working altogether, and I would remain shy even in a complete blackout. But I stubbornly clung to the idea that I had to drink in order for this personality flaw to be corrected.
2) Celebration and passion for living - I believed that life was a party, and that you were not celebrating life unless you were living it up and getting wasted every day. Somehow I believed that the only way to live passionately was to drink heavily. These ideas were obviously from the “good old days” when drinking was still fun, and hanging onto this illusion was just another part of my denial.
3) Drinking = happy – I truly believed that the only way that I could be happy in this life was to be drunk. This was a twisted mindset. I really looked down on other people who didn’t drink and pitied them that they were not able to “get happy” like I was. The truth of the matter was that I was miserable for 99% of the time, and it was a rare moment when I could find the right level of toxicity where I could even claim to be “happy” in my drunken stupor.
So these were my main “benefits” of drinking. I call them perceived benefits because this is what I truly believed, but looking back we can see that I was in denial about my drinking and therefore I was only fooling myself. These benefits were illusions that I clung to; they were actually false 99 percent of the time.
The denial exists because alcohol used to work as described. At one time, these perceived benefits were real, and my life was not screwed up yet from excessive drinking. In other words, there were some good times that I had with drinking, and my mind stubbornly clung to those ideas. This is just one mechanism of denial. All of these perceived benefits became false as my alcoholism continued to progress, but my denial kept me from seeing the truth.
When you really analyze the perceived benefits of drinking, it almost looks like a belief system. I had established the idea firmly in my head that alcohol was wonderful and those who did not drink it were missing out in life in a big way. I really believed this. Not only that, but I believed it at a very deep level and it had become part of who I was.
So in spite of these perceived benefits, eventually we have to see the illusions for what they are and break through our denial. It is only then that we can have any hope at even caring about a reason to stop drinking in the first place.
But once we become the slightest bit open to the idea, the tide can turn, and we can start to get excited about a sober life again:
Reasons to stop drinking
We can separate the logical reasons to stop drinking into these broad categories:
1) Longevity of life
2) Quality of life
Pretty basic, right? Alcoholism can affect how long you life, and also the quality of your life. So let’s take them one at a time:
Quitting drinking and your lifespan
Obviously, if you are an alcoholic, then quitting drinking will greatly increase your potential lifespan. But by how much?
To answer that question, we have to look at some statistics. I’ll spare you the charts and data and summarize it for you: most alcoholics die about 15 to 20 years earlier than their peers.
Now the question is: “How much is 15 to 20 years of your life worth to you?” This question is actually fairly deep and complicated, because the answer can change so drastically depending on your state of mind.
For example, a miserable drunk will usually brush the question off entirely, waving his hand and saying “whatever. Take me right now if you want!” That is the miserable desperation of addiction talking. Now if we manage to sober this person up and get them involved with a creative new life in recovery, their answer will likely change quite a bit (I know mine did!). Life becomes precious in recovery.
And of course we are just talking about numbers and percentages here–you might be able to continue to drink and still live a very long time. But the odds are against you. It’s not just the direct effects of drinking that can kill you. For example, guess what the number one killer of recovering alcoholics is? Lung cancer. In other words, it’s not just the booze that will kill you….it’s the lifestyle that gets us in the end. Not to mention drunk drivings, accidents, slip-and-falls, alcohol poisoning, liver damage, and so on.
With alcoholic drinking, there are a million ways to die. Problems compound as the lifestyle becomes increasingly more dangerous. It’s a progressive disease, so the risks increase for both the direct effects of alcohol, as well as for “lifestyle deterioration.” In other words, as time goes on, our drinking takes us to new lows and to do things we said we would never do. All of this steadily increases the odds of our untimely demise. Luckily, there are a million ways to stop drinking as well.
Quitting drinking and the quality of your life
The discussion so far as focused on how long we will live if we drink alcoholically. But lets take a look at what it does to the quality of our life.
There are a number of ways that drinking impacts the quality of your life:
1) Overall health – Not only will heavy drinking reduce your lifespan, but it also has the potential to bring on any number of diseases, disorders, and ailments.
2) Alcoholics are more susceptible to other drugs – which can have devastating effects on your life as well. Many people pick up “new habits” while they are drunk.
3) Alcoholics are several times more likely to be cigarette smokers - which, combined with drinking, can really have devastating health consequences.
4) Risk of suicide – is determined by studies to be over 5,000 times greater in alcoholics than in that of the general public.
5) Social effects – Alcoholism negatively impacts divorce rates, domestic violence, job stability, and so on.
6) Mental effects – Alcoholism contributes to depression, anxiety, and in the long run can result in ever more serious mental conditions, some of which might eventually be permanent.
Is there a Stop drinking pill?
There is a medication called Campral that can help with cravings, but it is by no means a magic bullet. People who rely on the pill to “fix” their alcoholism are going to be very disappointed. There is no magic cure and you have to put forth a tremendous effort in order to get sober aside from simply taking a pill like this. But, it can be helpful, and so any alcoholic should consider talking with their doctor about medications like Campral that might be one piece of their recovery journey.
Stop drinking, lose weight?
Of course alcohol is empty calories, and those who get drunk every day tend to have other factors that contribute to heavy weight. Not only does the quality of nutrition drop, but most alcoholics are very inactive when it comes to exercise. Part of recovery, if you use a holistic approach (which is strongly advocated on this website!) is that you should be considering things such as nutrition and exercise as part of your recovery.
So simply quitting drinking is but one step in losing weight. The accompanying lifestyle changes are what will really kick your weight loss into high gear.
Stop drinking too much alcohol, or quit entirely?
Some people think that they might be able to regulate their drinking instead of quitting entirely. If this works for you, then that is great! Moderate your drinking. But an alcoholic is defined by their inability to do so. Eventually you may have to get honest with yourself and realize that you cannot control your drinking consistently.
Denial is the trap that you can control your drinking some of the time. If you hang on to those successes, but ignore the train wreck that is your life, then you are in denial.
If you can’t stop drinking
If you try to stop but find that you cannot do it on your own, then ask for help. Call up a local treatment center and ask them what you need to do in order to get into treatment. They will lay out your options for you and help you to get funding so that you can get the help you need. Pretty much anyone who is persistent can find some resources to help them with their problem, it is just a matter of putting in the effort and the footwork that is necessary to get the ball rolling.
Stop binge drinking
If you are a binge drinker then you may be fooling yourself that you do not have a problem, when in reality you need to stop just as bad as anyone else. The binge drinker is a special kind of alcoholic, but they are still an alcoholic. They may go for long periods of time without drinking any alcohol at all, but when they do drink, they go on long binges and usually spin out of control completely. Just a different flavor of alcoholic, but one that still needs help in order to change their life.
Problem: an active alcoholic does not care about this stuff
So here is the real challenge: even when posed with a vast list such as this as to why a person should stop drinking, most active alcoholics could care less. The problem is that they are depressed, suffer low self esteem, and cannot bring themselves to care much about their own well being.
In other words, you could promise them the world if they would just quit drinking, and they will politely decline and go back to the bottle. They just don’t care.
Now I know this because I have been there before. And eventually I got to a place where I wanted to care, but I still could not bring myself to do it. I was stuck as a miserable drunk. I could not figure out how to stop drinking alcohol.
The breakthrough for me came when I decided to give sobriety a chance. Perhaps this was divine intervention. I had tried to achieve sobriety in the past but it had not worked, so I was extremely skeptical. But for some reason I was miserable and tired enough to give it another shot.
This is the balancing point. This is that tricky area of surrender that a drunk has to find their way to. It is a fine line. You are just miserable enough to want to stop drinking, but at the same time you are 2 seconds away from saying “screw it” and going to get another bottle.
This is why I think surrender to the disease of addiction might be divinely inspired. It almost seems impossible for an individual to find their way out of the alcoholic trap.
If you want to know how to stop drinking, here is my number one suggestion to you:
Ask for help.
Really. That’s it. Start with that, and things should start falling into place. It is possible to learn how to stop drinking on your own, but it is pretty tough.
May God bless everyone that has a desire to get sober today…..
Help for Alcoholism Do you or someone you love need drug or alcohol rehab? Take action and get the help you need right now. Drug Addiction Help What kind of drug rehab is right for you? Give us a call at 1-877-744-3536 Addiction Treatment Real help is available. We can give you the tools to recover. Start your new life today.
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just a quick note here. patrick, i’m so thankful for your sight. i started reading it about a month ago when i had stopped drinking. i was moved to write tonight to nate and peg and mary. to nate and peg i just want to say that my wife and i quit together and have found the mutual support very helpful. we are on the the three month plan. the first week was pretty hard, but it didn’t take long for us both to realize how much money we were saving, how we had more energy and time, and how much easier it is to deal with the kids. to mary i wanted to respond by saying that i too have to deal with working in clubs and people drinking all around. so far so good for me. it is quite interesting to see people getting drunk and losing controle and realize that i was one of those. i think i’m playing much better too. i understand the being bored bit….but i think playing sober allows your mind to come up with new ideas and allows for a new approch to the songs. one month and 3 days and my wife and i are loving being sober. by the way, i’m 46, and had been drinking since i was 13. all the best to those reading this, give being sober a try.
i’m trying it again. (to stop drinking, that is) i’m 47 and have been at it for 33 years. any ideas? help
Try something different, something you have never done in the past. For example:
* Long term treatment
* Counseling or therapy
* Working with others in recovery, even in early recovery
Just some ideas. The question is “how is it going to be different this time?” If you don’t have an answer for that, you are probably not on the right path yet.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let someone else define your path for a while. That worked for me in early recovery quite well.
i started drinking when I was 17 and was still drinking, I’m 34 now, a fifth of bourbon everyday until october of last year. I got tired of my drinking as i started feeling that I don’t know I was as a person anymore. When to the doctor and got admitted in a hospital for five days, did well for about a week after being discharged.But then fell again in the trap, started drinking again and had to go back to doctor the second time.As usual, though did better this time and stayed off the bottle for about a month, then took the fall again. Now this is my third time, and I have vowed not to touch the bottle again as I hate to go through the withdrawal symptoms.Besides, withdrawal symtoms I hate the kind of money I spent on my alcohol and going back to the hospital.My parents have been a great support. I really advise people to find someone who would give the unconditional love and support during the quitting phase. It helps a lot. Richard
Hello friends, it is so encouraging to read your stories and to realize that there are so many others out there who have struggled with alcohol issues in much the same way that I have. As of January 29 it will be one year since I stopped drinking. I had reached the point where I was drinking beer to nearly the passout point almost every night, exercising very poor judgment about many things, developing quite a stomach, and a super-red complexion, and generally feeling like crap most of the time . So, after a 35-year beer-drinking career, I woke up with a terrible headache and a sick stomach one morning and decided that I was done with it, forever. I wasn’t going to try (as I had done so many times before) to just “cut back”; that always made me all the more preoccupied with the subject– constantly setting and then revising and tweaking and amending the rules, the limits, on how much I would allow myself to drink. I needed and wanted to quit altogether. And I needed to make it simple. I am a lawyer by trade, and I have a tendency to want to “out-think” things. I knew I needed to avoid doing that here. So, in plain English, I just told myself, “I am really in a trap with this stuff. It’s all I think about for most of the day. I am angry that this little monster has this kind of grip on me. I deserve better than this. I deserve to get free from this trap, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I enjoyed life so much up until the time I had my first beer at age twenty. I know that life can be so good without alcohol, because I lived it for all those pre-beer years. I’m going to find that goodness again. I’m done poisoning myself. I’m just done.” There is so much to say, friends. But of all the aspects of this subject, the key, for me, was making it simple, intellectually simple, as in, “This stuff is screwing up my life. I need to be done with it. So, okay, I quit, right now. This problem is over. I am officially a non-drinker from this moment on; non-drinking will simply be part of who I am; okay, that was pretty simple.” That simplicity helped me to just get the whole subject of alcohol OFF THE TABLE, and that was the trick for me. I have many other thoughts to share, but for now I just want to tell you all that I have not touched a drop of alcohol since January 29, 2009, and that I no longer feel any desire to touch it, because I know that, for me, it’s truly a poison; I have no desire to put the stuff in my body– no more than I would have a desire to put, say, Liquid Plumber in my body. I feel no sense of deprivation; I feel only a wonderful freedom from the claws of that frickin’ little monster that had such a grip on me, and I love to remind the little s**t from time to time how much fun I’m having in my victory, and that he can just kiss my a**. The big surprise, though, is that life without alcohol is actually so much fun !! I really didn’t think it could be, but I’m having more fun now than I ever had when I drank, and I no longer have to worry about getting a DUI, AND it’s SO absolutely GREAT to wake up in the morning feeling good !! In fact, it’s wonderful to feel good ALL the time !! To all who may read these words, I believe in you, I have no doubt whatsoever that you can do what I did. If I can, trust me, I know YOU can !! Don’t try to out-think it, okay?!! Don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be !! Just tell the monster that you’re gonna kick his butt, and that you’re gonna enjoy every minute of watching him flopping around, hoppin’ mad that you beat him, that you broke out of the cage he had you in and threw him in there instead. Everyone hang in there, and know that we all are cheering for one another. Thank you for listening, and enjoy the week !! Sincerely, Bill
I’m 28. I’ve been drinking since i was 14. Always thought of myself as a “social drinker” , less than 48 hours ago I was sitting in jail for the first time in my life. I was found passed out in my car on the side of the road, having no idea how i got there. Needless to say, I got a DUI. I have had thoughts over the last year or so to stop drinking, i can’t believe it took this for me to truely consider it. I can only say, thank goodness nobody was hurt. I’m very scared. I’m a very strong person, and i know this is going to be hard. Most people can avoid being around it as much as possible, for me… i’m a bartender and a bar manager. I have been for 8 years. i’m very scared. scared and i feel very alone.
I’m 28 too and I understand what your going through. I got a DWI about a year ago. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t drink again. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very successful. Recently, I’ve been relapsing. Its such a vicious cycle. Its almost like clockwork. I can go a week or so without a drink but then I somehow get “bored” and go out to get totally wasted. I guess I thought I could handle drinking in “moderation” but obviously I just can’t drink. One drink leads to a dozen more and it just doesn’t stop. I’m sick of this addiction and what it makes me do. I feel so utterly helpless and guilty and want to stop drinking. S0, I’ve decided today is the first day on my new journey. I hope to fight this thing and change my life. I wish you all the best of luck in your struggle.
This message is to Frankie. Coinsidently, today also is the day I’ve decided to stop drinking! The first day of my new journey. I’m afraid but have finally accepted that I must go through the pain to get to the pleasure of a booze free life again. It’s been 15 years of denial for me and I’m tired. Please say a prayer for me! I will pay for all of you. Now off to an AA meeting………….
Carolyn,
You are in my prayers. It’s day two and I have faith we can beat this thing. It’s not gonna be easy , but one day at a time. Keep strong and fight the temptations. My subconcious seems to plague me with temptations all day, but I’ve realized I can’t listen to the madness. Lots a luck.
Frankie,
The bordom is my biggest fear. I have my daughter everyother week. When I have her it’s not an issue. I don’t even keep anything in the house. I wont drive with my daughter in the car with even one beer in me. But it’s the weeks when she is at her dad’s that scare me. My boyfriend lives 1200 miles away. I live alone. And like I said before I work at a bar. all my freinds hang out at the bar. Drinking is kinda my pasttime, my hobbie ( even though how pathetic it sounds) Where else do you even go to have fun with your friends where drinking is not the main focus?
Good discussion here.
In my experience, the “fun” part comes as you do the things you need to do in order to stay sober. In other words, it will take care of itself. If you say “I need to go have fun while being sober today!” it will probably not happen.
I had to start living life and doing positive and healthy things in recovery….such as exercising, eating out with friends or family, and connecting with other people in recovery. The fun just sort of came along for the ride without me actively seeking it out.
It does seem like drinking plays a big part of going out with friends. At least it does for me. Like you said its almost like a past time. I feel for you Lauren because you have to work around that scene. Its easier to just stay away from bars and people who drink. But, in your case its not that easy. And in reality, its everywhere. Drinking is everywhere. I’ve been trying to focus on doing more “constructive” things like working-out and reading. All we can do is follow our hearts and make things right in our life. I think the whole boredom aspect of sober life will pass. At least i hope so. We need to rediscover ourselves without alcohol. Keep me posted and keep to together :)
Day two for me and I feel really really anxious, irritable, angry and like life is really really boring. I’m going to an AA meeting soon and hope it changes my outlook. I think I’m having really bad cravings and/or withdrawl symptoms and it’s not pleasant! I hope this feeling does not last for too long. I had a battle with the alcoholic person in my brain about getting some wine at the store after work but I won this battle. No wine! God help me……..I did not realize how addicted to alcohol I am!
Hey congrats on no vino! I know the feeling. It gets easier to deal with the cravings as time goes on. Day three and still sober. Not much of an accomplishment i guess, but hey it is for me. Just wanted to write a short something to let you all know I’m still here and going strong. Ok, good luck!
Day three for me too. It actually seems harder today than the first two. Wicked thoughts of cheating. I’m even thinking of a date to have a slip as they call it………..Am I crazy? I hope I have what it takes!
Congrats Frankie on Day 3 of your sobriety! You’re awsome! And so are the rest of you! Another AA meeting tonight.
Hey everyone! I want to say CONGRATS to Frankie, Carolyn, Lauren! Should be day 3/4 for you guys! Its a feat, one day at a time. As for me…Been there done that and always fail. But so what, here I go again. I loved what Bill Sheehan said earlier and I am even more motivated now than ever. I am a FANATIC of Intervention (the show on A&E), and when I see the ending and see the recovering addicts talk about how good they feel and how life is and how good it is too wake up and feel good. I always say ” I want that” I wish I can do that”, well now I know that I can and I will.
I will hear every excuse of how “just one” isn’t going to hurt, BullS^%t! It will for me, because it will only lead to another and another….
I QUIT!
Jadira, Carolyn, Frankie, Lauren, Richard, Dave and John, Patrick, and everyone, you have no idea how it helps me and inspires me to know that you guys all go through the same thing that I do. And to hear you confide that you sometimes have doubts about your ability to stick with your plan of not drinking, or that you have in fact goofed a little and knocked back a few, well, that only reminds us that we’re all subject to the good old human condition. As to goof-ups, I think we just have to say, “Hey, allright, I messed up, I’m human, it’s behind me, it’s yesterday’s news, and I’m starting from right now,” and just go on forward, no matter how badly we might have messed up. I realize that we’re all different, sure, but I really, really think it’s important to try and take any element of drama out of the equation, and go for the simple approach– I remember how I used to fret and sweat and wring my hands and think oh my gosh, this no-drinking thing is gonna kill me, I’ll never be able to do it, I just know I won’t… and assorted other negative thoughts. Finally I just decided to use an approach so simple that I had always assumed it was unrealistic to think it could actually work– to just make the big plan, to think in terms of one LIFE at a time, to simply say, this chapter of my life is closed, it’s done, the beast is going to die, I’m going to enjoy starving it to death, it no longer has me in its trap, I am free !! Have I made this all too complicated in the past ?? And that’s the funny thing, guys. With each new day you will savor that wonderful freedom, and it will totally snuff out any feeling of deprivation you might have feared, as you begin again to know the joys of living with a clear head, a clear mind, of feeling good all the time. And you begin to think of alcohol as a NON-issue. I always remind myself, “Do I feel deprived because I didn’t get to drink any Chlorox today? Of course not. And for me at least, alcohol is just as much a poison.” Everyone have a wonderful day, and let’s not forget what a gift each one is! -Bill
Thank you Bill. I needed to hear that! I almost lost it this evening. I’m so lost and not feeling like myself and not sure what to do with myself. In fact, I donated blood today (not just to give a gift of life) but because I didn’t know where to go after work!! It killed a good hour or so of my time. LOL!
Off to another AA meeting. Don’t feel like going but I’m going to go any way!
Hang in there everyone and God Bless you all!
Patrick, Carolyn, Bill, Frankie, Lauren:
I stumbled upon this website as I was searching out ways to help keep me sober. I’m only 24, but for the last 6-7 years I’ve been drinking hard liquor every night to the point of black out and then pass out, barely being able to get up in the morning and get presentable for work. This wasn’t who I was, and this isn’t who I want to be…I want to nip this in the bud before it becomes a life-long habit and a potentially fatal problem (several people in my family have passed away from alcoholism).
I know that my length of time battling this has not been as long as say 20+ years, for example, but my inspiration this time (I’ve tried many times to quit before) feels much more genuine. I just can’t take feeling awful and being totally non-functional every day unless I’m drinking. I want to learn how to have fun again with alcohol. I want to get my body and mind back into shape before the alcohol took over. I want to begin to be able to really LIVE again.
Seeing your posts here is inspirational, and though I hardly ever post online, motivated me to share my thoughts as well as say THANK YOU for posting. Good luck to all…we are bigger, better, and stronger than the bottle.
hey everybody, great posts all the way around, so encouraging. i’m almost a full two months sober and had a rough night tonight. normally i would have gone to a secluded bar and would drink away my pain and think that i was doing the right thing….i didn’t know where to go, and then i remembered that i had ordered a book for my wife for christmas and it had come in at barnes and noble. it was nice to go there and get a coffee and just sit and read, i know it sounds boring, but it wasn’t at all, and so much better than sitting in a dark bar listening to bad music and people talk bullshit. i also really wanted to encourage the young folks who are coming to this site. i wish i could have all the hours, days, weeks, months and years that i wasted in alcohol haze back. life is so short. a clear mind and a sober healthy body will reveal itself to you as being far far far from boredom. thanks to you all for writing, you have helped me through another sober day! all the best, john.
thanks for your post John! i actually just went to my first meeting tonight, and it was really good. i’m looking forward to a life without being loaded all the time. i’ll check back in here tomorrow. all the best!
I gotta say I’m loving this post and everyone here. I was really in a funk today and figured I’d come check out this site again. Wow, its really amazing hearing your stories and your words of hope. Its been 5 days sober and typically weekends are the worst for me. So, the real test has come, but I’m confident I can get through. I wish everyone the best and please know that it feels great to know I’m not alone. Thanks :)
Carolyn, John, Aak, and all who stop by here from time to time, let’s all keep our heads up and our spirits (oops!) high as we head (oops!) into the weekend, knowing that we’re all sharing the same basic experience! For starters, pay particular attention to how GREAT it feels when you wake up tomorrow morning feeling good, with no pounding headache, no sick stomach! Then, decide on one little project or task that you’ll do, it doesn’t have to be anything major, but it may be something you might not otherwise have had the energy for, if you’d gotten blotto tonight and started tomorrow off feeling like total crap. For me, as a guitar player, it will likely be to begin writing a song– something I had sorry little enthusiasm to do this time last year. Or perhaps to take a thirty-minute walk (notice how good you start to feel about five minutes into it). My band has a gig tomorrow night at a local bar, and I will so very much enjoy and savor the amazing feeling of sipping my club soda with a twist of lime, as so many of those around me, as John mentioned, get obnoxious and talk bulls**t. And as I drive home around 1:00 a.m., I will welcome any policeman to pull me over, knowing that I can say, “No sir, I haven’t had a drop, and if you want me to blow into that little balloon, hey, bring it on !” (By the way, that’s a far cry from how things were for me this time last year !!) I NEVER thought I’d say this, but John’s observation about how cool it was to just chill at Barnes & Noble with a cup of coffee– it’s absolutely true !! And it doesn’t take long at all to figure out how much better that is than sitting in that bar, hunched over that drink, letting the beast control us, setting the stage for another lost day tomorrow. Honestly, it’s so great to be free !! Sometimes I’ll just hold my hand out in front of me and say, hey, in order for me to take a drink, I pretty much have to “will” this hand– which is attached to MY body and nobody else’s– to pick that drink up and hoist it to my lips, and by God, I have the right and the ability to choose NOT to let my hand operate in that fashion. I, and only I, am in control, it’s no mystery, it’s actually so simple, and it doesn’t have to be dramatic or involve a bunch of angst. We can just say, “No. That’s not who I am anymore. Screw you, beast.” MAKE it easy. You CAN !!!!!!! Well, everyone have a great weekend and thanks for your thoughts, they help us all!! If by chance the weekend doesn’t go so well and you happen to lapse, you will be welcomed back here next week with open arms, and we’ll all just help you brush yourself off and we’ll move on from there, there’s no need to worry! We are, after all, human beings, constant makers of mistakes, yet blessed with the ability to forgive and encourage. I know I sure as heck need that. Sincerely, Bill
P.S. Frankie, looks like you entered your comments as I was still babbling along with mine! Didn’t mean to exclude you (or anyone else certainly) in my salutation up there! Best to you for the weekend! You can do it, I know you can, and I’m betting there are a whole bunch of people right here who know you can too !! -Bill
Bill, Frankie, John, Richard, Carolyn, Lauren, and everyone else:
I just laughed the hardest I ever have in as long as I can remember. A coworker told me a joke, and instead of feeling annoyance, numbness, or just plain old hungover, and I actually felt the joy of waking up sober and feeling like I have a new lease on life. I went to my first AA meeting last night, and the support of all those I met there has made today significantly easier. I feel that, for the first time in many years, I am ready to take control of my own life rather than being controlled by addiction. And it’s your stories that I’ve read and your presence on these posts that has helped as well!
I’m wishing everyone a great weekend and hoping you all stop by to post soon…
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