Stop drinking today….how many reasons do you need?
As a recovering alcoholic, I know that this is a difficult decision. Even though there were a million reasons for me to stop drinking, I had a million reasons why I should continue. These reasons of mine to continue drinking were because of something called perceived benefits.
The tricky thing is that there are some real benefits to drinking alcohol for most of the adult population. But for the true alcoholic, those benefits are largely illusory, and become less and less valid as their disease progresses.
In other words, an alcoholic might cling to the “benefits” of drinking, rationalizing that these are important reasons for them to continue to self medicate, but in reality those reasons are no longer valid, and they are just fooling themselves. This is called denial.
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The perceived benefits of drinking
The perceived benefits of drinking will be a bit different for different people. Just to give you an idea, here is what I thought alcohol was doing for me:
1) Fixed my shyness - Before I started drinking, I was naturally shy and found it difficult to speak in groups larger than 2 or 3 people without any anxiety. Alcohol fixed this. The problem is that, even though alcohol fixed this, it was not a viable long-term solution to the anxiety problem. This is because my tolerance increased and I had to drink more and more in order to overcome my shyness. Eventually it stopped working altogether, and I would remain shy even in a complete blackout. But I stubbornly clung to the idea that I had to drink in order for this personality flaw to be corrected.
2) Celebration and passion for living - I believed that life was a party, and that you were not celebrating life unless you were living it up and getting wasted every day. Somehow I believed that the only way to live passionately was to drink heavily. These ideas were obviously from the “good old days” when drinking was still fun, and hanging onto this illusion was just another part of my denial.
3) Drinking = happy - I truly believed that the only way that I could be happy in this life was to be drunk. This was a twisted mindset. I really looked down on other people who didn’t drink and pitied them that they were not able to “get happy” like I was. The truth of the matter was that I was miserable for 99% of the time, and it was a rare moment when I could find the right level of toxicity where I could even claim to be “happy” in my drunken stupor.
So these were my main “benefits” of drinking. I call them perceived benefits because this is what I truly believed, but looking back we can see that I was in denial about my drinking and therefore I was only fooling myself. These benefits were illusions that I clung to; they were actually false 99 percent of the time.
The denial exists because alcohol used to work as described. At one time, these perceived benefits were real, and my life was not screwed up yet from excessive drinking. In other words, there were some good times that I had with drinking, and my mind stubbornly clung to those ideas. This is just one mechanism of denial. All of these perceived benefits became false as my alcoholism continued to progress, but my denial kept me from seeing the truth.
When you really analyze the perceived benefits of drinking, it almost looks like a belief system. I had established the idea firmly in my head that alcohol was wonderful and those who did not drink it were missing out in life in a big way. I really believed this. Not only that, but I believed it at a very deep level and it had become part of who I was.
So in spite of these perceived benefits, eventually we have to see the illusions for what they are and break through our denial. It is only then that we can have any hope at even caring about a reason to stop drinking in the first place.
But once we become the slightest bit open to the idea, the tide can turn, and we can start to get excited about a sober life again:
Reasons to stop drinking
We can separate the logical reasons to stop drinking into these broad categories:
1) Longevity of life
2) Quality of life
Pretty basic, right? Alcoholism can affect how long you life, and also the quality of your life. So let’s take them one at a time:
Quitting drinking and your lifespan
Obviously, if you are an alcoholic, then quitting drinking will greatly increase your potential lifespan. But by how much?
To answer that question, we have to look at some statistics. I’ll spare you the charts and data and summarize it for you: most alcoholics die about 15 to 20 years earlier than their peers.
Now the question is: “How much is 15 to 20 years of your life worth to you?” This question is actually fairly deep and complicated, because the answer can change so drastically depending on your state of mind.
For example, a miserable drunk will usually brush the question off entirely, waving his hand and saying “whatever. Take me right now if you want!” That is the miserable desperation of addiction talking. Now if we manage to sober this person up and get them involved with a creative new life in recovery, their answer will likely change quite a bit (I know mine did!). Life becomes precious in recovery.
And of course we are just talking about numbers and percentages here–you might be able to continue to drink and still live a very long time. But the odds are against you. It’s not just the direct effects of drinking that can kill you. For example, guess what the number one killer of recovering alcoholics is? Lung cancer. In other words, it’s not just the booze that will kill you….it’s the lifestyle that gets us in the end. Not to mention drunk drivings, accidents, slip-and-falls, alcohol poisoning, liver damage, and so on.
With alcoholic drinking, there are a million ways to die. Problems compound as the lifestyle becomes increasingly more dangerous. It’s a progressive disease, so the risks increase for both the direct effects of alcohol, as well as for “lifestyle deterioration.” In other words, as time goes on, our drinking takes us to new lows and to do things we said we would never do. All of this steadily increases the odds of our untimely demise. Luckily, there are a million ways to stop drinking as well.
Quitting drinking and the quality of your life
The discussion so far as focused on how long we will live if we drink alcoholically. But lets take a look at what it does to the quality of our life.
There are a number of ways that drinking impacts the quality of your life:
1) Overall health - Not only will heavy drinking reduce your lifespan, but it also has the potential to bring on any number of diseases, disorders, and ailments.
2) Alcoholics are more susceptible to other drugs - which can have devastating effects on your life as well. Many people pick up “new habits” while they are drunk.
3) Alcoholics are several times more likely to be cigarette smokers - which, combined with drinking, can really have devastating health consequences.
4) Risk of suicide - is determined by studies to be over 5,000 times greater in alcoholics than in that of the general public.
5) Social effects - Alcoholism negatively impacts divorce rates, domestic violence, job stability, and so on.
6) Mental effects - Alcoholism contributes to depression, anxiety, and in the long run can result in ever more serious mental conditions, some of which might eventually be permanent.
Problem: an active alcoholic does not care about this stuff
So here is the real challenge: even when posed with a vast list such as this as to why a person should stop drinking, most active alcoholics could care less. The problem is that they are depressed, suffer low self esteem, and cannot bring themselves to care much about their own well being.
In other words, you could promise them the world if they would just quit drinking, and they will politely decline and go back to the bottle. They just don’t care.
Now I know this because I have been there before. And eventually I got to a place where I wanted to care, but I still could not bring myself to do it. I was stuck as a miserable drunk. I could not figure out how to stop drinking alcohol.
The breakthrough for me came when I decided to give sobriety a chance. Perhaps this was divine intervention. I had tried to achieve sobriety in the past but it had not worked, so I was extremely skeptical. But for some reason I was miserable and tired enough to give it another shot.
This is the balancing point. This is that tricky area of surrender that a drunk has to find their way to. It is a fine line. You are just miserable enough to want to stop drinking, but at the same time you are 2 seconds away from saying “screw it” and going to get another bottle.
This is why I think surrender to the disease of addiction might be divinely inspired. It almost seems impossible for an individual to find their way out of the alcoholic trap.
If you want to know how to stop drinking, here is my number one suggestion to you:
Ask for help.
Really. That’s it. Start with that, and things should start falling into place.
May God bless everyone that has a desire to get sober today…..
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
The biggest reason people should know is that alcohol is a neurotoxin. This by itself already outweighs any health benefits, which by the way can be obtained from other far healthier diet alternatives.
In case you are wondering, I too had my share of drink fests during my younger days, so I can tell you that alcohol is addictive. It creates a kind of thirst, just like the thirst for water. It wasn’t easy giving up this thirst, and we try to fool ourselves by justifying the “health benefits”. But in the end I found out the real dangers it was doing to my body, so I got scared and decided to quit it once and for all.
One good way is to associate more with friends, places and activities that don’t involve any alcohol. The magic here is that our brains can only be occupied with the present thought. By keeping it busy like this, it will have no idle time to think about the alcohol at all. Eventually, you will get mentally and physically stronger until you totally have no more interest in drinking anymore.
Finally, I have been involved much more with spiritual activities recently, and I agree with the author that divine intervention does help a lot by purifying and developing our thoughts, wisdom and actions so that we gain the innner strength and disciplne to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Interesting thoughts, Andy. I would agree that finding friends and activities that are “sober” is a good step in building a new life in recovery. I also agree that the spiritual component is important as well. Good luck to you in your recovery!
I want to quit,but I associate drinking with good times in my life when I had a social life, and now that I am in the house most of the time and bored with no close friends that make me reach for a drink
Hi there Bitty
Traditional recovery might be a very good fit for you if you’re interested in being sober because there is such a heavy emphasis on social networking. Daily meetings are the prescription in 12 step fellowships and if you stick to the traditional “90 meetings in 90 days” then you will make new friends for sure.
You know all the usual suggestions for people in your situation to get out there and get active and get involved but the bottom line is that you have to push yourself to DO IT. The cure is to move your body and get out and about and meet some new people. I’m sure you already know this but it’s a matter of doing it. Force yourself to do it and each day it will get easier. This is the power of momentum in recovery.
Good luck to you Bitty!
This article was so insightful. Like nothing I’ve ever read before. Already I feel very grateful to have found this site. Thank you. And thank you to Patrick. I can now see so clearly that the traditional route would be perfect for me, as I’m in Bitty’s position. Never thought I’d be here. Thank you all.
Hi MJ….glad to hear that you’ve made a decision in your life. Good luck on the follow through, as that is where all the action is at. Take care….
Nicely written, having been sober for a little over 5 years by the Grace of God. Not only am I sober but the desire to drink has been lifted. Having been in for tune ups to make my body feel better (going into a rehab) I finally had enough. When I asked for help and meant it, great things started. Those who are just starting, remember your not going to get everything right, just because your sober! But don’t let that stop you.
Hi, I stop for a while and everything is ok, then I will have one drink thinking I can control it then it just gets out of hand. Is it possible just to stop cold turkey.. If your drinking to self medicate because of mental issues what do you do then?
Hi there Dencia
Most would agree on 2 points here:
1) Do NOT try to stop cold turkey. Seek a medical detox facility to quit drinking. Much, much safer that way. Cold turkey can be fatal.
2) You should try to treat your mental illness along side of your alcoholism. If you don’t then one can lead you back to the other.
Good luck to you….
@ Patrick B - Congrats on 5 years, that is a huge accomplishment and I agree that no one is going to get everything perfect, taking action is better than waiting for perfection. You are right on the money with that one!
want to give up drinking ,i only go out on weekends but drink far to much ,seem yo get blackouts a lot ,am in agreat relationship and due to get married next year .al ways making a fool of myself and flurting with women,and i am afraid if i dont do something now i will end up alone.and i love my wife to be .she dose not know about me being with other women.i need to do something.
Hi there John
Yes you do need to do something, I would recommend treatment or at least 12 step meetings to try and get some sort of foundation of basic sobriety going. I talk a lot about creation and long term sobriety on this website but in the beginning you need to get somewhere safe and you need to dry out and you need support. Treatment works and it worked for me so I suggest you start there. It is not a magic bullet but if you want it bad enough then good things will happen.
Don’t do it for your wife but do it for you. You are worth it. Go get some help. God bless…..
I just woke up after 4 hours of sleep just to get to the liquor store when it opens at 8am. During those 4 hours of sleep my body somehow broke down half a liter of scotch whiskey. Now I am a quarter of the way done with my current bottle. And it’s a beautiful morning. One that I should be excited for. But I feel like I deserve a drink after a nights sleep. I know this is wrong. I think I am a functioning alcoholic. I don’t drink during work. But as soon as I get home it’s 4 double shots of scotch. Then I can relax and waste away watching tv and eating fattening foods while taking an average of 2 shots per hour from then on. It’s a cycle I want to break but it’s completely normal for me. Nothing bad has happened to me yet except for feeling like crap for the first half of every day. What should I do…..?
Hi there David
If I were you I would look into getting some help for your problem. Have you ever tried to quit on your own? If not, try to cut down and then quit entirely. If you cannot do this then look into getting professional help for your drinking. It sounds like all the fun as long gone out of your drinking…why not make a change and enjoy life again?
I really appreciate your response to my posting. I appologize that I was so blatant with what I said. I was feeling sorry for myself at the time which I seem to do more and more these days. I found your site out of random searching because I think I needed to get someones opinion of what life sober would be like. I am a person who lives his life on habit. I have a routine that I follow on a daily basis. This routine is on a downward spiral I believe. I am only 30 but I have been drinking steadily for 3 years now, every day. It is like a friend, along with my ciggarette habit that I have had since I was 15. I have never really dedicated myself to stop drinking on my own. Maybe a couple days out of a given year I don’t drink and honestly it scares me. The feeling of purity is foreign to me, and I don’t quite know what to do. I have an intense desire to be free of these vices. And yet it’s like an old friend who I miss. I have always had a problem with addictive substances. It seems to pass through generations. My father never was an alcoholic but my grandpa was. And he died of cancer. My life is good right now. I have a good job and a girlfriend who loves me but I she doesn’t realize how much I drink. The question is how do I go about convincing my brain that I should cut down or stop drinking for awhile? I think I could handle it if I had another opinion of what life is like being clean. Well I thank you again for even responding to me.
I found almost comforting reading about people who are currently stuggling with their alcohol addiction. I found David’s story so similar to mine that it was chilling. I’m sure my life would improve exponentially if I was able to get rid of my “toxic friend” who I call Gordy (after the name Fruity Gordo I saw on a cask of wine). However, eight o’clock rolls around and he’s there knocking on the door, asking to be let in. Why is Gordo male? Because only a man could make a woman make such stupid decisions that she knows are wrong for her. I also have problems letting go of things. I still mourn some poor bug I squashed in 1976. I look forewards to reading more comments from others. Bye.
I’m glad I found you site.. I’m more of a binge drinker, when ever i get into a social suituation I have good intentions of just having a “few” but before i know it I’ve totally swtiched and just turn into someone I don’t even know. I say stupid things and act in a way I hate, falling over etc - it happens nearly everytime i’m in a suituation and its been this way since I started experimenting with drink at 16.. I’m so embrassed of my actions, the cloud of guilt that hangs over me the next day is far worse than any hangover.. I have a lovely husband who just hates who I turn into when I’m drunk and so do I. I’m so over it and really really want to change. I feel the best bet is giving the drink away forever.. I really want some help.
Hi Annie
Sounds like you need to ask for help, because you genuinely want to stop but obviously you are not successful in doing so.
You might have to prove to yourself that you cannot stop on your own. Do this through experimentation. Try with all your might to stop drinking on your own. If you fail at this then you know it is time to seek help.
Good luck….
My dad lost the job he had for 21 years, and we all know it was his alcoholism that caused this. I am 15, and my dad is doing cold turkey as i type this…he has the television on, and he isn’t watching it, he is very nervous and jittery, is there anything i can do to help other then watch him suffer like this?
I have tried to do it before and failed.. however this time I have sought some help from a support service as i really am determined to not ever drink again this time.. my whole family has these issues - but at the end of the day the buck stops with me and I need to break the cycle.. the way I see it - I have everything to gain by doing so and everything to loose if I don’t…
@ Brandon - If your dad is shaking violently you should take him to the emergency room. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. Try to get him to a treatment center.
@ Annie - Good luck on your journey. Keep us posted as to your progress.
Hey guys / girls. I’m glad I found this site - as I read through the posts I have to agree with Cathy in that so many people on here have the same life story as mine. David - you are an inspiration to us all for saying that you said. I hope all goes well with your recovery. Annie - reading your post was like reading what happens in my life when I drink. I go through two 1.75 ml of Tvasrski 100 proof vodka a week. Oh God I want to cut down & I am! I’ve had enough of acting like an idiot, saying things I shouldn’t be saying, & my relationship with my two teenage sons is slowly going downhill. They do not know I drink as much as I do & when we’ve had “family meetings” to talk about whatever, I have asked them (recently) if my drinking has been a problem. I am lucky to have 16 years worth of great relationships with them & they have always been honest with me. Every time I ask them this question they always tell me “no - we don’t have a problem with your drinking.” This is why I don’t think they know how much I do drink. And if their mom ever found out - I’d lose custody of them. She cheated on me & drew our divorce out for 4 years - all to get $1,000.00 a month in child support. But in the end - I got custody & she has to pay me support each month. So she does everything she can to try to get custody & has been on this rampage for 4 years. *sigh* I’m beginning to get “alcoholics nose” as well. Some days you can see three veins on the side of my nose - other days you can’t. I’ve attended an AA meeting & the stories I heard were…….wakening to say the least. I’m not to the point of pissing myself when I sleep, I’m not to the point of drinking in the morning to get going, I can / have quit a few days in a row & my body was SO much better for doing that. And just when I get to feeling good I think “hey - I do have this under control & one drink isn’t going to kill me.” I started drinking like this about the time of the divorce too. Before then - I was a 6 pack on a week end type of drinker. Over the past 4 years this has morphed into the amount I’m drinking today. I’ve not had any law trouble because of my drinking but I know that could only be a matter of time. I have woken up from a night of drinking feeling like crap & missing work. Then as I lie there on the couch feeling guilty & physically horrible it’s about noon before I make myself a drink & start drinking. I have a wonderful girlfriend who does know how much I drink & she is not happy with me. As far as women go in my life, aside from my mom, this girl is the best woman that has been in my life of 41 years. I cannot loose her…..I cannot loose the boys. I know I am to the point where alcohol has not overtaken me completely but it is close…..so close I can smell it & I’m hoping this will scare me strait….
I will be on here checking other people’s posts so I wish you all the best & hope to hear from you all!
Hello all. I just want to say that I can relate to each of your postings in some way, and I wish each of you all the very best in your individual journeys.
I especially can relate to Brent in terms of his age and his custody situation being so similar to my own. Follow your gut… if you suspect you need to quit, you probably do. I also want to encourage Brandon to get some good advice from a counseling agency and be patient with him… I know what it is like to sit in front of the tv not really watching, just trying not to show my own nervousness.
My situation is that I realized I had a problem at a relatively young age. I didn’t drink like normal people do from the very beginning. I had blackouts almost as soon as I started drinking. I thought this was normal and part of drinking at first, but soon gained some knowledge of alcoholism when my older brother went through treatment while I was still in high school.
By age 22 I also found myself in treatment due primarily to some minor troubles with the law and the fact that I was severely depressed. I stayed sober for 13 years during which time I was married, had kids, secured a good job, had a couple promotions, and then after going through some of what Brent has experienced, I started in again- slowly at first but progressing to the point of drinking a twelve pack every night and more on weekends- much more.
Depression, difficulties at work, difficulties at home and terrible feelings of guilt have come with it.
I too still have a good job. I too still have my kids and a wonderful wife (I am remarried). I still wonder about those who REALLY hit bottom losing it all and wonder if I am really that bad. I learned in treatment twenty years ago that sometimes others can show us the bottom before we get there. We are the lucky ones at least in that respect and can learn from them. The foolish thing is that I did see where I was heading and then went back down that road again.
I have been trying in earnest to quit again, but it is tough as you all know. I haven’t drank in a couple of days and I quit for a good two weeks prior to that. I don’t intend to drink today and I’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here- the traditional one day at a time approach I guess.
I just want someone else to know that I am out here struggling same as you to deal with this, overcome this, or whatever.
I am on here trying to find a magic cure for my drinking problem. I have been in and out of AA a few times..at first mandated by court, the last 2 times on my own.
I am trying to do this without going there. I think it really works for a lot of people, but I have issues with it. The last time I quit drinking I went to AA and quit for 4 months..the longest I’ve been sober in 15 years of alcoholism. I was thinking today that if I’d just stayed sober I’d be sober now for a year and a half.
When I started drinking again..I really was dedicated to running so I was really good about sticking to my program and made sure to have a good 3 days a week with no alcohol. In the past 5 months or so…I got back into my old ways of getting totally blasted nearly everyday. My tolerance is through the roof. I am a small girl that now puts away 15-20 beers a night. Alcohol consumes me..it owns me..I don’t even know who I am anymore. It takes precedence over me, my children, my life. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of obsessing every moment about when I can drink..and do I have enough beer at home. My post alcohol anxiety is sooo bad now..I itch all over..I see things..The worst thing is that my 16 year old daughter has now gotten an MIP and has come home many times totally wasted. She’s doomed between her Dad and I. I feel like I’m single and feel like I’m never going to be able to ever be able to date or be in a normal relationship.
The main problem is that I really wasn’t happy when I was sober. I felt depressed, sick, tired, lethargic, and boring. I went back to drinking and man it was fun…for a while….I want to be sober..and be happy, fun, productive..I just want to be normal..Help
Hi there Kallie
I think you already know that there is no magic cure. You are already close to the path that will get you there in my opinion. Sounds like you experienced some brief but significant periods of sobriety already.
It seems like you know what works, at least in the short run. You can make a real effort, with or without AA, and probably duplicate your previous success. I think you can go beyond that as well and find long term sobriety.
Using AA or any other fellowship is not necessarily a bad thing, especially in the early stages. My only problem with the 12 step program is that I think people get stuck in them sometimes and can find more growth by pushing themselves in other directions. But AA is better than nothing.
And you have tasted some sobriety….you know what you have to do. Do it! If you have to go to treatment or detox or ask for help or whatever…do it! Do what it takes to start living a life of sobriety. If AA is not for you then find another path. It is up to you to do so.
Do not feel trapped by alcohol. If you are willing to seek help then you can break free from this and you already know this. You have experienced it. So make a decision to do what it takes.
OK pep talk over! Good luck to you…..
Wow..I just googled how to stop drinking…and I have been reading all the posts and I have to say Patrick at the end of your article when you spoke of it being a fine line. “You are just miserable enough to want to stop drinking, but at the same time you are 2 seconds away from saying “screw it” and going to get another bottle”…i broke down in tears…my story is very similar to others here…Im 43 married with two grown kids and have been drinking heavy for about 4yrs I would say…mostly every day…and it used to be a glass of wine here and a cooler there…now i can kill a bottle of wine in record time and most days i crack a beer the moment I get home from work…or make sure i stop at the store b4 I do get home…every time i try to stop I always find myself drinking again and feel very defeated…my husband drinks too…used to be him with the problem and now I take the spotlight so to speak or maybe we just take turns…usually when I want to stop…he will buy more alcohol…so when one wants to quit the other doesn’t and its a vicious circle…but clearly i drink more often than him…I always thought cold turkey was the only way to quit…and i never ever set a date to quit …this reading tonight has given me a lot to think about…Im so glad I found this site
Hi there Dyan
It might be the case that one of you two has to get sober first. Perhaps treatment can be the small amount of separation that is needed to make it work. Hopefully the other person can get sober next.
I have not seen many examples where people got sober together and made it stick. But one at a time, yes.
Good luck to both of you…..
Wow, I am so glad I found this site!
I have been suffering with a drinking problem for 3 years now. I am only 21 and drink till i pass out almost every night. There is no in between for me, either I dont drink, or a drink to get blackout drunk. I have lost several jobs and many friends from my habit. I never drink by myself, but will always find someone to “chill with” It has killed the social life i once had, I now cant talk to anyone without being intoxicated, because of the picked up anxiety. Ive tried to quit before but every time I go a couple of days I start feeling so much better, and want to drink on this new high that im feeling. I used to be active with sports and running but now Im always too hungover to do anything. I literally feel powerless.
Where can i find meeting around me, or someone who can help. Im too young to get alcohol shakes.
Hi all, thank you so much!!!! I am also a binge drinker. I cant seem to be able to say NO!. I have a son 18 months old and in a committed relationship. When I drink i say and do really bad things, I have black outs and am embarrassed of who I become. The problem is that I do not see myself as an alcoholic. I drink to have fun and I later do not like who I become when drunk. I hate myself right now. What kind of a mother am I? what would my son say when she sees or hears the things I do when they embarrass even me? OH How I hate myself right now. I want to stop this behavior but finds it difficult to face the possible change in my social life…I am afraid to live the life of a loner as most of my friends drink. I have no idea why I have this behavioral change when drunk when everybody else seems to be doing just fine with alcohol??????????? I totally embarrass myself and am worried about my reputation that is diminishing ever time I go out drinking. I have stopped before for 2 years on my own but can’t seem to avoid getting trapped in this havoc behavior again.
Thanks for your posting Patrick.I just recently stopped drinking.I made up my mind and stopped.It was not easy,I was drinking a pint of whiskey and close to a case of beer a day.I should have asked for help to get detoxed but felt ashamed.I slowly cut down my drinking over a three day period and then stopped.I felt terrible for about three more days,sweating shaking,had to force myself to eat.I could barely talk.I told people at work I had a cold.Yes I went to work I forced myself.I just kept telling myself that I didn’t have to drink and that every day would get better.
Wow this is a neat site. My name is Rick and I am an alcoholic. Booze has taken me to places I never wanted to go. It put me in a bad marrage, got me in trouble with the law, made my body feel sicker than ever before or after. I am currently sober. I am finally starting to live. The secret for me, Is acceptance. I live with my sisters, really grateful to have them. I have a brother in law that lives with us. He was in recovery when I moved here. Though for the past few weeks, he started falling back. At first it worried me that being here would cause me to relapse again. instead, I get a grim reminder of my behaviors when I was sick, compulsivly drinking with the inability to stop. Keeps me sober. I used to attend AA, sometimes I will go to a meeting when I need to. But just realizing and accepting the fact that one drink will lead me back to where I was, keeps me sober. Strange things happen when I pick up the bottle. The whole world changes, I change, everything changes. One drink for me is like getting on the merry-go-round, you go round and round, dont know when it is going to stop, what direction I will be facing when it does stop, and when it does, I will normally fall down, (like the dizziness from the merry-go-round). anyway, I have bookmarked this site and will be around quite a bit.
Rick