A reader writes in and asks: “What is the secret to lasting sobriety?”
I know there are old timers out there in the program who would say that I’m not qualified to answer this, as I’ve only got 8 years of sobriety. Those with 30 years and over probably turn up their noses at such a meager achievement, right?
But length of sobriety is relative, just like everything else. When I had two weeks clean I though making it to 2 years sober would be a miracle of sorts. The thought of 8 years sober was a far off dream, something that was impossible to envision.
And so it is with every newcomer. Achieving long periods of sobriety seems like an insurmountable challenge. We all have to live one day at a time, of course.
And yet, so many in recovery who attempt to live “a day at a time” ultimately end up relapsing. Only a select few manage to find lasting sobriety. What is the secret?
If you know me by now then you know that my answer is “creation.” But I want to go further than that and explain why creation is the answer:
1) Creation is sustainable – Can your recovery strategy last for 10 years or more? Can you see yourself doing it over and over again for decades upon decades? The creative theory is flexible enough to provide anyone with a unique path of growth. If you get bored with it then that is your own fault.
2) Creation yields purpose – Those who are staying sober by traditional recovery programs might find real purpose and meaning in their life, but only if they intentionally seek it out and actively create it. When you start living the creative theory you will naturally start living with real purpose because you’ll be taking deliberate action instead of just drifting through recovery. You’ll make decisions about what you want to create in your life and this will give it more meaning.
3) Creation overcomes complacency - Why do people relapse after staying sober for multiple years? Complacency. That is the only thing that can erode a successful recovery in the long run. If you get lazy then you risk sliding back into your old habits. The only “cure” for complacency is to constantly push yourself to keep growing and learning. This is the creative theory in action. The whole idea is to keep creating, which of course takes deliberate action on your part.
Now if you can find these advantage by working other programs of recovery then by all means you should do so. I know of at least one person working the traditional 12 step program who definitely does it with passion and purpose, and has been doing it for almost 10 years now. Obviously he has found a sustainable path (for him) that gives his life purpose and stimulates him to keep growing. If you can achieve those things then keep doing what you’ve been doing. If you’re not quite there yet then try changing things up and challenge yourself to find the path that makes you grow.
Recommended Reading
- Overcoming Addiction
- Addiction Recovery is about Discovering New Layers of Information
- 5 Ways to Supercharge Your Recovery, Avoid Relapse, and Dominate Your Addiction Over the Holiday Season
- 10 Ways to Embrace Creative Recovery and Take Your Sobriety to the Next Level
- Holistic Addiction Treatment Center
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LIVING ON LIFE’S TERMS- CAN YOU?
Its fun trying to come up with something to blog about each day and wonderful that I get so many sources for ideas that serve as a reminder to me and provide blog material. I SINCERELY ASK YOU TO VISIT http://www.hopeserenity.ca, read, join, post your blog and help others and importantly, send me subjects you’d like to see a blog on or improvement ideas for the Hope & Serenity web site. Contact me direct at khbray@hopeserenity.ca if you will.
The start of my journey to a “new and improved” life came as a result of not being able to live life on life’s terms. Can you relate? My favourite book says:
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.”
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous [First Edition], p. 100
No, I haven’t gone religious. There has to be something bigger than me running the show; there is too much order in life to be by chance. The show I tried to run on my own would have never been called orderly; chaotic yes!
A part of the “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery” that Patrick and I have put together and that we coach is a spiritual component. I had to learn I didn’t run the show (and I loved trying to control things), something did. I can’t draw you a picture of what my “something” looks like, but my prayer, meditation and observation, I know it exists. I call it a power greater than me, or HP for short, and it is worthy of a capital letter, as in “THY” or HP. That HP is a co-creator in the recovery process.
Today I understand being humble, and I am that in my attitude. That does not mean I’m a shrinking violet. I have my opinions and standards and feelings. They are mine. I may assertively express them, but you have the right to agree or disagree. I cannot control others. In trying for many years to do so, my life became unmanageable and hope and serenity were gone.
When I allow “Thy will” to be done, and stay out of the way, the results are usually pretty good. I’m not perfect at this, the journey is work in progress, is a way of life, and has no end point. Today I am hopeful daily and have reasonably long periods of serenity. What more could a girl ask for??
Today I can live life on life’s terms a lot of the time. It was a learnt skill set that gets better daily with practise. You want it? We can help!
LET’S GET STARTED. YOU’VE BEEN AT THE LINE TOO LONG!
“What is the secret to lasting sobriety?”
Not Drinking.
Master that and more will be revealed….
Bill
(Don’t you hate a smart-a$$)
No that is great, Bill! Someone has got to help keep it real around here, right?
But you’re right, more has been revealed….and so the journey continues…