Comments on: Reader Mailbag – How Can I Help My Ex Who is Struggling with Drug Addiction? http://www.spiritualriver.com/reader-mailbag-how-can-i-help-my-ex-who-is-struggling-with-drug-addiction/ Non-traditional recovery from addiction Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:09:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Emilyhttp://www.spiritualriver.com/reader-mailbag-how-can-i-help-my-ex-who-is-struggling-with-drug-addiction/comment-page-1/#comment-27892 Emily Sat, 16 May 2009 07:39:03 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/?p=835#comment-27892 Hi Patrick
Thanks for your response. It is really helpful.
I understand your point about the Methadone and I know that he took more of it on occasion to alleviate the social anxiety that you mention e.g. if we were going out with friends. And although the Methadone Maintenance has obviously helped him (he has managed to hold down a job and moved out of the circles he was in previously) his life is still ruled by his addiction I suppose?
It seems that he has swapped the bad drug (heroin) for the good but in doing so I don’t think he has really changed his behaviour or moved along that road to recovery that you describe. In a way I think it has allowed him to avoid dealing with the underlying issues that made him take heroin in the first place? Could that make sense? Because all of his behaviours and perspectives seem to be still those of a person still in the throes of addiction. Helplessness and a sense of hopelessness seem to colour his life:- it’s as if he feels that he doesn’t ‘deserve’ for anything good to happen to him and when it does he would rather destroy it – or in my case, push it away – than build on it and try to make a future. As that may make him (in his eyes) ‘needy’. It’s infuriating!
We have not seen each other now for several months and my dilemma is that although I have put some distance between us I do not know no whether I should just walk away and leave it at that or be there for him if he needs me and try to be his friend. I still really don’t want to let him down no matter what has happened in the past and I care for him very very much. But are you saying that by walking away I may help him move some way towards eventual recovery? As that is more important.
Thanks again!

Danie – if there’s anything you would like to ask me feel free!

]]> By: Daniehttp://www.spiritualriver.com/reader-mailbag-how-can-i-help-my-ex-who-is-struggling-with-drug-addiction/comment-page-1/#comment-27871 Danie Fri, 15 May 2009 15:23:41 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/?p=835#comment-27871 Thank you so much for posting this. I am researching this topic for a private matter and this is very helpful and informative. Thank you so much for posting this. I am researching this topic for a private matter and this is very helpful and informative.

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