Life coaching and recovery can be a tricky subject. Many people are opposed to the idea of life coaching because they claim that traditional sponsorship through a 12 step program is superior to coaching. Others feel that they don’t need a coach at all in order to progress in their recovery.
Both of these viewpoints are quite valid, as neither coaching nor sponsorship is a magic bullet in recovery. But having a guide of some sort might still be beneficial for some, especially when it comes to motivation and accountability in early recovery.
Let’s take a deeper look at the idea of coaching and see how it might work with creative recovery:
Is there a difference between a traditional sponsor and a life coach for recovery?
There is a difference. A traditional sponsor from a 12 step program will generally focus on taking the addict through the 12 steps of the program and ultimately bring about a spiritual awakening. This is the role of the sponsor. They are a spiritual guide.
In creative recovery, a life coach is there to unlock the potential within the addict and get them to grow holistically and find their true passion and purpose. They are a holistic guide.
In both cases, there can be a lot of overlap. I personally had a sponsor in a 12 step program who really functioned exactly like a life coach for recovery and pushed me to grow holistically instead of just spiritually. This was unusual though, as most sponsors will not consciously take an holistic approach like mine did.
For the most part, if you seek out a traditional sponsor in a 12 step fellowship, chances are very good that they will focus only on spiritual growth, and if you want to grow holistically, you’ll have to find that drive and motivation from somewhere else (unless you seek out a life coach for recovery).
How can a recovery coach help you transition into holistic living?
By pushing you to grow holistically. This is the essence of good coaching. It is definitely an art form though.
The reason it is an art form is because early recovery is so overwhelming. There is simply no easy way around this fact. The newcomer in recovery is simply overwhelmed with trying to change everything in their life all at once. Quitting the drugs and the alcohol and abruptly changing your entire lifestyle is hard. It’s a lot to handle. And the role of a good recovery coach is to start nudging the recovering addict to go beyond mere abstinence and these huge lifestyle changes and to start growing in new areas of their life. This obviously needs to be handled with care as you don’t want to push too hard too soon. On the other hand, you don’t want to let someone completely coast in their early recovery and start stagnating before they even make any huge strides.
This is the challenge of the recovery coach: of knowing how hard to push someone to grow.
Why coaching is more suitable than sponsorship for creative recovery
Sponsorship is about creating a spiritual experience. Coaching is about creating holistic growth (which includes the spiritual experience). In creative recovery we are seeking to do more than just grow spiritually; we are trying to grow holistically. Therefore it will help to find someone who is geared towards holistic growth if you are interested in following the creative path.
This is not to say that you necessarily need a sponsor or a coach for recovery. But using either of them might help to guide you in your recovery. Sometimes it helps just to have some accountability from someone.
Coaching can help move people along their growth curve faster. Potential talents and strengths can be utilized sooner if there is a skilled coach involved that can help motivate the addict to take certain actions.
Creative theory coaching – the SWOT approach
SWOT is a marketing term that stands for Strenghts, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Normally, a SWOT analysis would be a study that a large company does in order to examine how the business is doing, but in this case we are going to apply it to a person in recovery, as the analogy seems to work perfectly for our needs.
Strengths
It makes sense in recovery to take a look at an individual’s strengths and then capitalize on them.
What is your gift to the world? What are you truly good at? And how can you use it to help others? These are your strengths.
When I was in early recovery, my sponsor threw me a curveball when he suggested I go back to college. I thought I was supposed to be concentrating on making as many 12 step meetings as possible, but he was encouraging me to go back to school. “Why?” I asked him.
“Because you’re good at it.” he said. And he was right. I used to love school and I like to read and I like to write and I think some part of me even likes to study, if you can believe it. So he pushed me to go back to school.
Another strength of mine that has guided me in recovery is my writing itself. Now I use writing as a way to reach out to other addicts and alcoholics in recovery.
So the first thing a life coach should look at in the recovering addict is what their natural strengths are. Then they must ask the following 3 questions:
1) “How can we capitalize on these strengths and develop them further?”
2) “How can we use these strengths to create a new life for this person?”
3) “How can this new life be used to reach out and connect with other people?”
Weaknesses
It’s not always fun to examine our weak points but it is going to be absolutely necessary for some in recovery. For example, take the following 3 examples:
1) The recovering addict or alcoholic who bounces in and out of relationships with alarming frequency.
2) The recovering addict or alcoholic who has social anxiety and is too scared to even attend an AA meeting at all.
3) The recovering addict or alcoholic who is so full of shame and guilt that they refuse to give themselves a break and believe that they deserve happiness.
These are all examples of weaknesses that must be overcome in order to achieve successful, long term sobriety.
Now obviously, the role of a life coach in recovery is to help someone overcome these weaknesses. How can they do this? This will vary greatly depending on the exact situation at hand. Here are some examples of things that a life coach might do to help an addict overcome their weaknesses:
1) Identify major fears and help prescribe actions to help the addict confront them and move past them
2) Identify self defeating behaviors and prescribe actions to help the addict avoid them or find alternatives
3) Identify self defeating attitudes or mindsets and prescribe exercises or daily activities that can help change them over time.
Opportunities
A life coach is really doing their job most effectively when they empower the recovering addict. What does that mean? It means that the coach is merely unlocking the hidden potential that is already there.
For example, say you have a recovering addict who is a gifted speaker that naturally connects with people emotionally when they talk. Such a person might be guided into taking AA meetings into jails, institutions, and treatment centers so that their powerful message is spread to those who need to hear it most. Pushing this person to reach out and connect with others by using this strength would help to boost their recovery immeasurably.
On the other hand, say you have a recovering addict who is more quiet and reserved, but still connects with people in a meaningful way in a one-on-one setting. In this case, the coach might encourage them to eventually start sponsoring or coaching others, or to find alternative ways of helping other addicts.
Ultimately the coach is responsible for pushing the client in recovery to use their strengths and talents to make a difference in the world. They should push and prod them to find their real passion and purpose in life….something that energizes them and gets them excited about living. Finding this purpose and these opportunities might take time, so be patient.
Threats
A good coach will be able to identify potential blocks to a person’s recovery. This would include anything under the weaknesses section that could lead to either relapse or stagnation in general. Examples of threats could include things such as:
1) Relationships – being drawn to an old relationship that is no good for you because the other person is still drinking or using drugs. Thinking that you can handle a new relationship in early recovery without any emotional consequences.
2) Overconfidence – thinking that you are strong in your recovery and taking unnecessary risks (such as going to a bar or to a place where drug use is happening).
3) Minimizing – thinking that our addiction wasn’t so bad, minimizing the consequences of it.
4) Stagnation – falling into a comfortable routine (such as with daily meeting attendance) that is not promoting action and creation
5) Resentments - hanging on to anger about past issues or about people in our lives.
6) Self pity – this goes with stagnation. Feeling sorry for yourself is never productive; never conducive to creation.
These are just examples, there are an infinite number of potential threats or blocks to a person’s recovery. The job of a coach is to identify them and help the addict to work through them.
Action items – what you can do
1) Sponsorship – if you currently have a sponsor in 12 step recovery, start working with them in a holistic manner. Let them know that you are interested in growing in all areas of your life. You could always find a different sponsor who has a more holistic approach as well.
2) Life coach - consider getting a life coach that specializes in recovery. Doing so can help give you the motivation and accountability that you need for your recovery.
I recommend a life coach named Keith Bray.
You can email him at khbray@hopeserenity.ca
or call him at (905) 477-7972
Recommended Reading
- Overcoming Addiction
- Addiction Recovery is about Discovering New Layers of Information
- 5 Ways to Supercharge Your Recovery, Avoid Relapse, and Dominate Your Addiction Over the Holiday Season
- 10 Ways to Embrace Creative Recovery and Take Your Sobriety to the Next Level
- Holistic Addiction Treatment Center
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Ego:”Don’t Ask For Help, I Can Do It”
Asking for help is the first step to healthy living.
By admitting to our friends that we don’t know what we should do about the many confusing, sometimes scary circumstances in our lives, we open the door for our Higher Power to reach us. That’s often the way help comes to us. At times we’ll open a book and an inspiring passage will jump out, or we’ll wake up feeling as if God has answered us in our dreams. But more frequently and vividly, our help is in the gentle words of a friend.
Many of us postponed getting help because we dreaded asking for it. We thought that asking for help would make us look weak and uninteresting. We so wanted to be liked and admired that we pretended all was well, while in reality all was awful. It’s a profound relief to share our burdens with other people. And the best part is, we’ll get needed guidance.
In looking at a “Creative Process for Life Recovery” we knew the chief stumbling block for most people is simply being humble enough to ask for help. A paradox, in admitting we can’t do it alone leads to getting it done. Admitting our weakness is an act of courage. As Tolle points out, conscious ego is often a huge road block to living a life we truly want.
A holistic approach to life recovery does have a spiritual component, and this is aided by the mere admission that we, alone, cannot find all the answers. We are not all powerful. Answers and direction come from different places at different times. Often, when sought, they are within.
We need help to search for and recognise the answers.
A joyous, abundant and happy life, by anyone’s definition of what that may be, cannot come without healthy living. The first step to healthy living is asking for help. The “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery” is designed to give help to those who seek.
I really like your concept of “creative recovery” and this idea of “recovery coaching”. I could see this idea becoming a strain of sponsorship within 12 step groups as well as outside the meetings.
My biggest concern is the person who can’t stay clean and sober in the fellowship for various reasons.
Where do I find a “Life Coach”? I like this idea and I think I could use it. I have been clean for over 15 years. However, lately I have been thinking that when I gave up the drugs, I gave up everything. I gave up all the people I knew and most of my family. They were all into drugs and/or alcohol.
My job kept me constantly on the move so I never really noticed that I never replaced these people in my life. Now I am retired and I find I have nothing; no friends, no family, and no drugs.
I live in a very small isolated town so meetings are just about non-existent. I know I need help and this sounds like a good idea but I am completely lost as to where to begin to “re-recover.”
Hi there Gar
My recommended life coach is Keith Bray.
Email him at khbray@hopeserenity.ca
or call him at (905) 477-7972
Hey all…….. I just e/m’d Keith Bray. I’m hoping for a response! We’ll keep in touch!
To chime in on the discussion. I am a professional life coach as well as a person in recovery who has a sponsor and sponsees. My job as a sponsor is to guide someone through the steps as the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. While I whole-heartedly believe in the process of life coaching, in recovery I share my experience, strength, and hope … free of charge! Personally, I feel it is inappropriate to mix the two and refrain from “practicing” on my sponsees. I agree that a professional life coach can supplement the recovery process, but it never replaces sponsorship.
Shalom,
Brett C
Hi there Brett C
I think your opinion is a popular one within the fellowship, but I see the opposite as being more helpful. In other words, life coaching is the superior path to long term sobriety and sponsorship can never really hope to live up to what can be achieved with the creative life and a life coaching approach.
The reason I believe this is because I do not think that recovery is the point of life (as many in the fellowship believe), I believe that life is the point of life. Sometimes we get too wrapped up in recovery programs and miss the whole point.
Sponsorship might be useful in early recovery but a shift must be made towards holistic growth and away from what I would call “traditional recovery tactics.”
Just my 2 cents of course, based on what worked for me. Thanks for your input!
Where Do You See Beauty- or Don’t You?
Seeing the beauty
Funny, today I can see beauty all around me. 15 years ago I saw very little of it.
Today, I see beauty within me and you; 15 years ago I found most people ugly inside, they all wanted something I thought.
What changed? Through a wonderful person who said exactly the right thing at the right time, and a spirit within that let me hear, I suddenly had new sight. We can help you find it.
We can see our Higher Power in so many beautiful things in this world: the reflection of light in the running brook, the spectrum of colors in the oil spot on the street, the stubbly grass peeking out of the snow like morning whiskers, hail popping like kernels of corn, the music of rain, the face of a child, the face of an elder.
Some of us see our Higher Power most clearly in the light of another’s eyes or in acts of unselfish kindness and know ourselves to be part of it. With clean, sober eyes we can see this beauty.
Can I see the beauty all around me?
Higher Power, help me to see the beauty all around me today and to realize that I, too, am beautiful in your eyes.
Interested in seeing the beauty of life?
We can help through coaching. http://www.hopeserenity.ca.
You describe what in my experience seems to be the missing link for many precious people struggling to find power over their addiction. Sponsorship is GREAT, but is limited. Treatment is GREAT, but doesn’t help a person re-enter REAL life.
There is much wreckage a person in recovery must face once they decide to live sober – - – inter-personally, economically AND (often) legally. Many doors remain closed for them within society (understandably), making their climb extremely difficult and the call of alcoholic anesthesia all the more tempting.
This is where a life coach is so important. It’s so integral to have the sense that SOMEONE will walk alongside you as you learn to “do life.” One must integrate recovery principles into the entire fabric of life and go beyond simply “not drinking.”
True recovery is just that – - – one RECOVERS. Whatever their divine purpose, their destiny, their reason for being here on this earth at this time in history becomes clearer, cleaner, more real. They learn to see it, to taste it, to trust in hope once again. If they can continue, they’ll even EMBRACE it and live in it.
BTW, I found it extremely interesting that you use SWOT analysis in your methodology. I’d tried to explain that concept to a friend who counsels folks in recovery & it went right over his head. In my opinion, it’s a gentler & more complete way of working the fourth step. The Big Book says we should take an account of BOTH strengths & weaknesses, but I’ve rarely met a sponsor who has had a sponsee focus on both.
Many sponsors do have their sponsee pull out the underlying factors and feelings that propel them into dysfunction (threats), but never have I seen the RE-FRAMING of all this information that the OPPORTUNITIES section provides.
Not only does the SWOT analysis provide a more in-depth moral inventory, it goes beyond that. It actually provides a framework for an individual to look at their life with new glasses. This brings about some of the elements of motivational interviewing – - – but is actually teaching these critical thinking & evaluation skills to the individual. Pretty impressive.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Tori…I had not thought about these topics for quite some time but maybe I should be looking into the whole life coaching idea again. Thanks for your input.
i would just like to add i have been working on my addiction for 6 years it almost killed me at first i wouldnt give up all the drugs thought i could still smoke pot and drink after several failed atempts to stay off just the meth and pain meds i finally understud reservation’s and gave it all up after a year of doing it my way cuse i relized doing it my way was why i was in the shape i was in so gave it to god my doc’s and sponser never wanted one but they had what i wanted peace of mind i went hog wild into it learning everthing i could about my diesease when i fanilly accepted that i had a diesease there was no going back i started understanding more about me becuse i accepted that i was an addict i was in denial with who i was and could not get a good foundation but anyway been clean almost 3 years but dont know how to set the steps to create my life know what i want but dont know how to get there i think this life coach could be the greatest thing to help me make a plan on how to get there it is just so over welming to me dont even know how to start but can i tell have got to do something to keep me feeling good about me and to keep me from sliding backwards to were i am un happy and want to change the way i feel being productive and being able to be a respectable part of the comunity and seeing the joy my family gets from having me around now makes me feel good so i think i just need to step back and be thinkful (gratitude) just have to keep on pushing and rember if it was easy ever body could quit we are the few we ought to be proud of ourselves we are making the change we few but together we are unstopabe if has’nt anyone tould u they love u i do and proud of u all hang in there it will only get better unless u go back to useing dont forget were u came from and the hell u was in that allways made me keep on striving my worst day sober dosent compare to the shape i was in out there useing dont forget we have an allergy to drugs ,allchol,gambling,anything that changes the way we feel can be addictive to use