How can someone stay clean after leaving an inpatient drug rehab?
This is a very important question for someone just leaving treatment. The following suggestions will help make or break someone’s recovery:
1) Take their suggestions
You went to rehab because you could not stop using drugs on your own, right? There are two main functions that the treatment center provides: one, to physically detox you, and two, to show you how to live without putting drugs and alcohol into your body. Obviously, drug rehab centers specialize in helping people to not use drugs, so you might do well to actually take their suggestions and follow through with them.
The first two times I went to treatment, I did not do this. For example, they suggested I go to long term treatment, and I refused. In shunning their advice, I ended up relapsing very quickly after leaving both of those rehabs. The last treatment center I went to, I did take their suggestions, and followed their recommended treatment plan to a “tee.” I have been clean and sober ever since.
2) Do what other people think you should do, not what YOU think you should do
For the longest time, this was a huge stumbling block for me. Why should I let other people decide how I should live my life? I figured that I (me, personally) should be the most qualified person to make decisions about my life. Turns out this was not the case, because I continued to slowly kill myself with drugs and alcohol when left to my own devices. Amazingly enough, when I started taking advice from others, my life started to get a whole lot better–and a whole new world of freedom opened up to me. It still baffles me that this could come from letting other people suggest how I should live my life. This was the form of drug rehab help that I resisted for so long, and finally had to surrender to in order to get better.
3) Participate in any follow-up treatment
Most detox and residential programs that make up drug treatment centers are composed of very short visits these days. Many programs used to be 28 days in length; most of them are half of that or less nowadays. The length of time you will spend in a residential treatment program is a drop in the bucket, and you should not expect to live “happily ever after” without some serious follow up to your stay in drug rehab. Recovery is a life long process. Therefore, any recommended after care that they suggest should be taken seriously and approached with enthusiasm. Many treatment centers follow up with IOP programs (intensive outpatient), and these can be a strong source of support for people who are just leaving a residential program. Bottom line: follow through with your aftercare.
4) Go to a long term treatment program
This is the number one most effective form of aftercare, and I believe it is anyone and everyone’s best shot at maintaining long term sobriety. This should be especially inviting to you if you have been to drug rehab before and failed to stay clean. Ask the therapists at rehab if they know of any long term treatment programs that they can set you up in after you leave. Long term treatment is the only thing that worked for me, and I consistently see the higher success rates that it provides for recovering addicts at my workplace. Long term treatment works.
5) Go to meetings every day in early recovery
This is something that will be emphasized heavily while you are in drug rehab recovery: you need to go to daily meetings during early recovery. It’s a no-brainer, really. Tons of support from other recovering addicts. Twelve step meetings are widespread and are there to help you. Take advantage of the support they offer. “90 meetings in 90 days” is heard like a mantra in treatment centers, and for good reason. Daily meetings will improve your chances of staying sober in the short run. Long term sobriety entails expanding beyond simply making meetings, but this is still a good strategy for early recovery.
6) Get a sponsor and call them every day
After leaving a drug rehab clinic, get a sponsor, fast. Go to a regular outside AA or NA meeting and ask someone with some significant clean time to be your temporary sponsor. Anything to get you in the door with someone. Most sponsors will have you call them every day for the first 30 days. This might seem silly to you. Do it anyway.
Finding and using a sponsor is another no-brainer. If you choose a bad sponsor, let them go and get another one immediately. A sponsor is someone to help guide you through the twelve steps.
7) Consider an holistic drug rehab
If you do not do well with traditional rehab recovery, then consider going to an alternative drug rehab where the emphasis is more holistic rather than simply being 12 step based. Holistic rehab is powerful because it draws from multiple recovery strategies in order to help you to stay clean and sober.
Holistic recovery is all about encouraging long term growth in several different areas of your life. For example, you would be encouraged to grow spiritually, but also seek emotional stability, work on physical fitness and nutrition, and practice meditation, and so on. Expanding growth beyond traditional recovery programs is what holistic treatment is all about.
Recommended Reading
- Overcoming Addiction
- 10 Reasons that Struggling Addicts or Alcoholics should go to Rehab
- Convincing a Friend, Husband, Wife, or Family Member to Go to Drug Rehab or Seek Addiction Treatment
- Drug Rehab Information
- Holistic Addiction Treatment Center
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relasped because I didn`t follow the programs (IOP/AA) now I,m afraid because I know that is now what I have to do.
Hey Tom G.
Hang in there. I saw this quote the other day, it seems appropriate: “Fear is a mile high and a mile wide, but only paper thin. You must walk through it.” That seems to describe what it was like for me in early recovery. I was terrified of AA meetings, but I stuck it out because I was so miserable when I was drinking. And of course, my fear of meetings was unfounded.
Whatever you are afraid of, Tom, is nothing more than illusion. The fear that holds you back from a life in recovery is only paper thin. Walk through it.
Good luck to you Tom. Let me know how you are doing.
im glad i read thius page becouse i finished rehab in may 2ed and i have relasped 2 now not that i wanted to but i did anyway i not sure if i need togo back to rehab ore not i really dont want to anyways it was good to read this page thanks
im in rehab now im looking forward for a sober life and go back to my kids everyone hang in there the higher power is with us if god is with us then how we go wrong
My granddaughter spent 5 days in detox/rehab and when she got out, she hooked up with 7 people also in rehab with her. She is the only one with a car, so when she goes to the meetings, all these new “friends” want her to take them places. One kid – 19 years old- is a heroin addict and won’t stay in rehab because he is “scared” so he calls her and she has been finding him places to sleep, etc. and our home life is a disaster since she started “handling” this kid…disrespect to me, won’t take any responsibility for her room or to help me, etc. What can I expect as her grandmother so she will quit threatening me with her relapse if she is not allowed to do what she wants?
Thanks.
My partner leaves rehab tomorrow and he feels very positive but of course its one day at a time. Any suggestions about how I can help keep him clean?
thanks
I went to rehab in February 2008 and three days after I came out I relapsed. I was addicted in the end to ambien and I used ambien to get off of opiates (sleep through my withdrawals). I probable set the record for taking this drug and when I went to rehab after spending 4 days in a pysch ward and one in a crisis center it just was not enough I had anxiety about sleep. Nothing they would give me would relax me enough after taking btw 15-30 ambiens a day. After being broke and the threat of being committed to a mental hospital I was given a choice of going to a IOP intensive aftercare program and I was skeptical and scared. It was 9-3 four days a week. But I went and after a few days I actually enjoyed it. It filled my day and gave me some hope. I stayed clean for about 5 months and I was also attending meetings. Meetings got old after I built up some confidence after being clean for four months with was 3 and 1/2 months longer then I even had in the past 10 years. After I picked up again I have went on 2 week runs not using everyday and occasionally going to meetings which did help me from at least going totally back to my old ways. It is hard to change but we all have to keep an open……very open mind and listen to others because look what our decision making has gotten us this far. I currently have a week clean and if I get to lonely/bored I think about using. Reading this article has helped me realize that I need to get back to meetings and start working some steps with my sponsor. It is hard for me because I don’t like to lean on anyone for help whether it’s my sponsor or going to meetings, but it’s either that or go back to active addiction. Hope everything works out for all that posted and those that will post after me. The disease of addiction is horrible and I would not wish it on my worst enemy if I had one.
Hi there Dave
Thanks for sharing your story with us, sounds like you have done some learning about yourself and made some real progress. Good luck to you on your journey….
im realy struggling i have 7 months and have not been going to meetings i hate them i cant help it i know i have to go if i want to stay clean i hate this disease god please help i hope this gets better soon
My son is in rehab and has been there for a week and will be there for another 5 weeks, he seems happy that he has gone but I’m scared because the friends that he has gotten into drugs with he talks lot about and he does care for them but I want him to stay away from them when he gets out. What should I do, we my husband and I have thought of moving away, even if it means giving up my husbands career, should we, what if he meets the same kind of people elsewhere? Then our lives are ruined finacially, not that money means more to me then my son, is there anything I need to do or change at home. No doubt something had to wrong with home that he had to turn drugs and alcohol.
Hi Tracy
It’s so tough for younger people because their friendships are so important to them…I got clean when I was fairly young and I though my world had ended when I walked away from my friends and into a long term treatment center. Of course if you live in long term treatment for 20 months you make new friends real quick, but you could never convince a younger person that this will happen or that it will be good for them. Their friendships are so important to them so they really have to hit bottom in order to walk away from those toxic relationships and find new friends in recovery.
For me, going to live in long term did the trick. But that is a huge decision for a young person that will not come easy….Good luck to your family and to your son…..
I just got off the phone with my son who has another 4 weeks to go and he mention that his higher power is his group there at rehab, is that normal. He said because he can get an answer more quickly then to pray to God.They did mention a persons higher power can be anything it doesn’t have to be god but can it be the people that have the same problem as he does?
Yes that is a popular idea in 12 step recovery these days, that your higher power can be anything at all, including a group of people or simply the fellowship of people in AA or NA.
Anything that can potentially fail doesn’t make the best higher power, but apparently people have been making this work for years (because 12 step fellowships have yet to fail completely).
Of course in the old days they insisted that you use the traditional Christian conception of God as your higher power, and some would argue that success rates were higher back then.
Whatever…I don’t think it’s so crucial either way. Spirituality is but a small part of holistic growth in recovery, but our modern programs present it as the entire solution. There are more important things to focus on in order to stay clean….just my 2 cents of course, but I think your son has a good a chance as anyone else…
I had a woman/married lover for about 2 years. She slept with me and another woman while married to this husband of hers. She even called me in front of him and told me she loved me. Anyway-She drank and went to some rehab in Florida. She has been told I do not accept her amends (steps)however, she is keeps texting me every so many months. Is this a rehab thing?-A person says no and you keep at them? I am still not sure if she is gay-She probably use her higher power and the rehab to hide waht she really is…I think rehab allows people to scapegoat their past pain they bring into peoples lives and give them clean slates with no facing or owning what they did to others..shame on this world-Be adult-if your a drinker face what you’ve done and not hide behind some lame higher power-Be an adult an have the power…
Hi there Helene
I know what you mean in some cases regarding the higher power thing. But really this is just more manipulation on her part. The program teaches to try and make amends but if they will not accept them then you are to stop pushing and take it up instead with your higher power, the book says not to badger others who we have hurt.
Those who work the steps are not supposed to run from their past, but instead face it and own up to it. That is what the program teaches (12 step program).
Now it is true that many will use the program or the steps or any teaching out there to their advantage by twisting the concepts and the meanings behind them. But these examples should not be held against the program, either 12 step or otherwise.
People in recovery can be quite sick and manipulative at times and you should not blame the program. Blame the person if you must but understand that the principles and the teachings of the program are sound.
By the way I don’t necessarily advocate the 12 step program for everyone but the principles of the steps are generally quite sound, including those of restitution and forgiveness.
Patrick.
That really puts it in the clear for me.
I appreciate that. I had wondered not being a person with any addiction issues what the principles are. Yes, this would be common for her to twist things around to run from the damage done. My question to you and anyone on the site is if you run then how can you ever get well not facing things? Is’nt then the rehab senseless….
I also forgot to ask this. This woman and I had a lesbian relationship for 3 years while she was married to a man and then she slept with another woman to boot. Would, a rehab address these issues as well and if I was here past lesbian affair would they condone her calling me to meet for the amends process while the husband was sleeping in the next room? She has, since moved to be “closer to her support groups” and now left me, the husband and all she knew to be in Florida by this group of supporters. When does the 12 steps hold her accountable for the damage in NJ?
As far as the person commenting on her son saying he was told to pray to a higher power…I think that is non-sense. It is giving the weak a reason to hope. I don’t mean to sound rude. But, when do the non-addicted people get to have higher powers and meditate?
That is not real life. Life is facing it and going to work and dealing with issues–”God, will not give me more than I can handle in one day”. I was, told and I say told-that it can be even inanimate objects?–Who, does this is real time. If it works for those addicted than great. I think, it offers more to run and hide from than anything.
I will pray to the real god that your son finds peace and recovers through his own determination as a man.
Hi again Helene
Most rehab visits are fairly short these days because treatment is quite expensive and insurance companies aren’t going to pay out the nose for it anymore (that’s the nutshell version). So most issues that you are considering will not be addressed in treatment, but instead will need to be addressed during aftercare or when someone is working their program on the outside. The 12 step program is fundamentally sound and if someone works it honestly and is thorough with it then yes, the will eventually make amends for all the past hurt that they caused in their lives. Most who work the program will probably not be that thorough however and sometimes the best you can hope for is for someone to at least maintain some sobriety.
I know that is not fair to the non-addicts of the world but they have options too….they can walk away from toxic relationships and they can find their own higher power if they like. I can’t defend the addict any more than I can defend the person that they walk all over. Addiction sucks and it destroys lives and we do the best we can to get better and to help others get better….both in and out of AA.
The spirit of any recovery program, including AA, is to own up to your responsibilities and face life on life’s terms. Many will manipulate their way out of this but that is the intention and spirit of the program.
What is the process for recovery?
My Ex was/is? married. She left her 3 older children in NJ and the husband and all ties. She has now moved into an apartment to be closer to her support groups. Is this normal? Would’nt you rehab around your family and loved one’s? I am trying to have some understanding of things-I know-I aks alot of questions lol…I am just making peace inside of me as well with things and need to understand them in order to do so. How do you leave all your responsibilities behind and just focus on yourself? How long do you need a support group before you go solo and just live as a person without all these people surrounding you? Is, what she is doing normal-I have spoken to Social Workers and Pess screeners and they have told me that you would normal come home after the half-way house and resume life…Thank You for all your help–I appreciate any and all insight.
sorry about the spelling—My thoughts get ahead of me.
Helene,
There is no “normal” in the paradigm of recovery. Everyone has to find their own way, and they may have many different areas of their life that will require therapy or counseling and the support of their friends and family, and they may need to reach a “bottom” on many of these fronts (hopefully without relapsing) before they are willing to become honest with themselves. Most of us addicts are behaviorally challenged. However, there is no graduation ceremony in recovery. As was previously written on this board, it is a lifelong process. This can be frustrating for people who do not suffer from addiction. The temptation is to expect us to “get better” and be “cured” one day. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case for any of us. I know people in the program who have over 30 years clean, and still work the steps and attend meetings. Many people who are in the lives of the addict also need their own help to recover from their co-dependent issues and their willingness to be subjected to an addicts behavior. I have often thought that the 12 steps would benefit anyone and everyone – not just addicted people. You asked why the addict can’t resume a normal life without “all these people surrounding you” – many addicts do resume a “normal” life while in the fellowship. However, they will probably spend a few hours a week in meetings as a form of maintenance for a few reasons. One is to never forget where they came from, and another is to be of service and to help someone who is coming along and is new in recovery. That is one of the cornerstones of the program and is what keeps many people clean over the long term. It is a positive process, and saves many lives. That does not mean that everyone who is in the program works a good program. But hopefully they keep coming back and slowly start to internalize some of the spiritual principles that will keep them clean and sober over the long term.
Good points, Phil, and I completely agree with your ideas. But I wonder if many who attend daily meetings on a permanent basis do so out of service as you suggest, or if most of them are simply dependent on group therapy as their recovery solution. As you say there are many who do not work a good program in the fellowship, but there are some who do and set a good example. I guess the bottom line is that someone can use AA and/or meetings as part of their spiritual path, or they can find other avenues. Many who stick with meetings will not actually work the program as intended or grow in a positive manner. Some of course will, and can reach out and help others.
Thanks again for your comment.
So, What you are saying is that the addict gets a clean slate from any past hurts or responsibilities and the people harmed have to deal with the aftermath? I never really go the answer from this board as to why the EX would continue the 9th step when I said “NO”.
She asked me to be friends? Who wants a friend that does’nt respect you? I also asked if she was homosexual..I was told that the 12 steps can make you rethink that type of sexuality as a choice..So, can a straight person rethink things a become gay then due to the 12 steps? I think it is a scapegoat for addicts and a sham to the NORMAL people who had to deal with their harm and selfishness..SHAME on 12 steps!
Hi again there Helene
You are actually raising some interesting points in spite of your anger. I think what happened is that someone treated you badly and is now trying to get your forgiveness based on their new involvement with the 12 steps…that doesn’t fly with me and if someone is honest with their program then they would not be abusing you in this way.
The 12 step program is about taking responsibility and owning our past as our own. We do not run from it or hide from it in recovery. We must face it. It sounds to me like this person is not doing that, but is instead trying to manipulate things. Don’t let the actions of one person tarnish your perception of the entire 12 step program. (I can’t believe I’m defending the 12 steps like this here!)
Bottom line: the 12 steps are not a scapegoat, but some addicts might try to use them as such. This faults the addict and not the program.