Comments on: How to Convince Someone that they are an Alcoholic or Drug Addict http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-convince-someone-that-they-are-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/ Non-traditional recovery from addiction Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:09:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Hoping for Berkeley..http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-convince-someone-that-they-are-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/comment-page-1/#comment-128258 Hoping for Berkeley.. Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:29:14 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpress-2.0.4/wordpress/?p=144#comment-128258 I have a hopeless father. Please pray for him. He drinks almost every night and yells at my family, and especially me. He is a diabetic, and he has high blood pressure. He is overweight and has many hernias - he is not in very good health. I keep trying to convince him that he has a problem but he refuses to listen. He is verbally abusive to me and my mother, and it is harmful to this family. It has affected me greatly, and the sad part is that he doesn't even care. I am only 13, and I really need a miracle for my father. Please, please pray for him. I have a hopeless father. Please pray for him. He drinks almost every night and yells at my family, and especially me. He is a diabetic, and he has high blood pressure. He is overweight and has many hernias – he is not in very good health. I keep trying to convince him that he has a problem but he refuses to listen.
He is verbally abusive to me and my mother, and it is harmful to this family. It has affected me greatly, and the sad part is that he doesn’t even care. I am only 13, and I really need a miracle for my father. Please, please pray for him.

]]> By: worriedhttp://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-convince-someone-that-they-are-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/comment-page-1/#comment-83304 worried Tue, 28 Dec 2010 22:01:23 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpress-2.0.4/wordpress/?p=144#comment-83304 A family member of ours is an alcoholic. She has ruined almost every Holiday she has participated in the last few years. This Christmas was the end of the line for me. When she came in, she came bearing Whiskey and Egg Nog and Wine. 3 bottles.. well once they broke into the Whiskey it mysteriously disappeared although she was the last one seen with the bottle. Then when the wine was gone, she started getting nasty. She comes in sloppy and crying getting off the phone, and starts slobbering and asking me what was wrong with her.. I didn't want to say anything but I was tired of not saying what everyone wanted to say and I just told her. You have an addiction to alcohol.. and you need therapy.. serious help. OH MAN! She blows up! Well now I'm offended and this and that starts talking about how I'm a terrible parent and pulling everything out of the reaches of her mind that I could have possibly done wrong.. not having a job being one of those.. and then by the time the alcohol was gone she starts rubbing it in my face about who bought the liquor. And that pissed me off, I wasn't even drinking.. and she was mad at me because 1.) I told her what she didn't want to hear. 2.) Her alcohol was gone -egg nog. Anyway a big fight erupted and she ended running in the back yard in the orchard for about an hour in the cold had everyone in the house fighting amongst themselves some went home and fought more... I don't know what to do about this anymore her boyfriend's mom tried intervention one time.. that didn't work. She refused it and made a HUGE fuss. Not long ago she got a brand new car, she had been drinking all night and into the next day, and ran into a woman, and flipped both of the cars.. totaled them both. We thought that may be enough to convince her she has a problem.. no.. didn't work. What else is there to do besides totally turn my back on her and refuse her in my house? A family member of ours is an alcoholic. She has ruined almost every Holiday she has participated in the last few years. This Christmas was the end of the line for me. When she came in, she came bearing Whiskey and Egg Nog and Wine. 3 bottles.. well once they broke into the Whiskey it mysteriously disappeared although she was the last one seen with the bottle. Then when the wine was gone, she started getting nasty. She comes in sloppy and crying getting off the phone, and starts slobbering and asking me what was wrong with her.. I didn’t want to say anything but I was tired of not saying what everyone wanted to say and I just told her. You have an addiction to alcohol.. and you need therapy.. serious help. OH MAN! She blows up! Well now I’m offended and this and that starts talking about how I’m a terrible parent and pulling everything out of the reaches of her mind that I could have possibly done wrong.. not having a job being one of those.. and then by the time the alcohol was gone she starts rubbing it in my face about who bought the liquor. And that pissed me off, I wasn’t even drinking.. and she was mad at me because 1.) I told her what she didn’t want to hear. 2.) Her alcohol was gone -egg nog. Anyway a big fight erupted and she ended running in the back yard in the orchard for about an hour in the cold had everyone in the house fighting amongst themselves some went home and fought more… I don’t know what to do about this anymore her boyfriend’s mom tried intervention one time.. that didn’t work. She refused it and made a HUGE fuss. Not long ago she got a brand new car, she had been drinking all night and into the next day, and ran into a woman, and flipped both of the cars.. totaled them both. We thought that may be enough to convince her she has a problem.. no.. didn’t work. What else is there to do besides totally turn my back on her and refuse her in my house?

]]> By: Patrickhttp://www.spiritualriver.com/how-to-convince-someone-that-they-are-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict/comment-page-1/#comment-81371 Patrick Wed, 15 Dec 2010 14:33:58 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpress-2.0.4/wordpress/?p=144#comment-81371 @ JC - I would give it some time, don't act too hastily. Maybe go to an Al-anon meeting, tell your whole story, and seek advice there. They can pick up on details that cannot be conveyed over the web. Sounds to me like he might be willing to change, given the right nudge. Ultimatums rarely change behavior like we think it will....it is more a boundary for yourself if you choose to go that route. @ JC – I would give it some time, don’t act too hastily. Maybe go to an Al-anon meeting, tell your whole story, and seek advice there. They can pick up on details that cannot be conveyed over the web.

Sounds to me like he might be willing to change, given the right nudge. Ultimatums rarely change behavior like we think it will….it is more a boundary for yourself if you choose to go that route.

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