I thought it might be useful to take a look at what doesn’t work in recovery. Unfortunately this might be overwhelming because what doesn’t work includes almost everything. It is only through a concentrated effort combined with a clear vision that we can achieve the life we truly want in sobriety.

Through my 7+ years of sobriety I’ve seen a lot of recovering addicts and alcoholics fall by the wayside. Based on my observations, here’s what doesn’t work:

1) A brief stay in treatment as your solution - some people falsely believe that attending a treatment center can somehow “cure” them. The problem is much bigger than this, of course, and so even an extended stay in a treatment center represents only a mere beginning. Your real recovery is just starting when you walk out the doors.

2) Meeting based solution - I’m not saying that 12 step meetings are bad, I’m saying that people who rely on them for their sobriety are going to eventually fail. They can provide information and structure, but the real magic has to happen outside of meetings in your own life.

3) Weekly counseling as a solution - I tried this when I was still using drugs and alcohol in the hopes of getting clean and sober. I found that it didn’t work for me. It’s like trying to kill an elephant with a fly swatter. I found later that a more forceful approach was necessary.

4) Group therapy - not only have I seen a lack of stellar results with this approach in my life, but it has been proven to be less effective than no treatment at all for younger people. Again, the real deal is in your own personal growth in recovery.

5) Getting clean and sober for someone else - I’ve done this myself and I’ve seen it over and over again: if you’re trying to get clean and sober for the sake of someone else, you’ve got a tough road ahead of you. It’s gotta come from within if it’s truly going to last.

If these approaches are less than optimal, then what is the correct path?

None of these approaches are necessarily bad, but in each case, someone is focusing too narrowly in order to get their “recovery solution.” In the real world, any solution that leads to long term, lasting sobriety is going to be bigger and broader than these ideas.

Many of the scenarios above represent a “band-aid” approach to treating addiction. I believe any drug addict or alcoholic goes through stages where they attempt to fix their addiction with such an approach. This is due to the nature of our world and our previous experience: We tend to face a problem with a certain amount of force and energy–usually with an amount that we think will be needed to overcome the problem, and no more.

But addiction is a subtle foe, and represents an enormous problem that pervades our whole self, affecting every part of our lives. It resists any band-aid approach and demands that you attack the problem with every ounce of your being if you are going to overcome it.

Notice too that most of the ideas above represent external solutions to the addiction problem. Remember that external solutions have the potential to:

1) Fail you in some way

2) Become a dependency

3) Lead to stagnation in your personal growth, closing you off to new sources of inspiration.

My point in all this is not to steer you away from certain programs or counseling, but only to challenge you to seek growth and change on a personal level. The people who I have seen stay clean and sober over the long haul are able to generate their own internal motivation without relying on external sources.

We can use any of the tools listed above without becoming dependent on them and stagnating.