Photo by in retrospect
This is a guest post from Adi Jaffe, from All About Addiction. � I hope you enjoy it, as it is always nice to get some fresh perspective!
By the time I was done with my addiction to meth, I had racked up 4 arrests, 9 felonies, a $750,000 bail, a year in jail, and an eight year suspended sentence to go along with my 5 year probation period.
The kid my parents knew was going nowhere, and fast. That�s why I was surprised when they came to my rescue after 3 years of barely speaking to them. My lawyer recommended that I check into a rehab facility immediately; it was our only line of defense.
I had long known that I had an addiction problem when I first checked myself into rehab. Still, my reason for going in was my legal trouble. Within 3 months, I was using again, but the difference was that this time, I felt bad about it. I had changed in those first three months. The daily discussions in the treatment facility, my growing relationship with my parents, and a few sober months (more than I had had in years) were doing their job. I relapsed as soon as I went back to work in my studio, which was a big trigger for me, but using wasn�t any fun this time.
I ended up being kicked out of that facility for providing a positive urine test. My parents were irate. I felt ashamed though I began using daily immediately. My real lesson came when I dragged myself from my friend�s couch to an AA meeting one night. I walked by a homeless man who was clearly high when the realization hit me:
I was one step away from becoming like this man.
You see, when I was in the throes of my addiction, I had money because I was selling drugs. I had a great car, a motorcycle, an apartment and my own recording studio. After my arrest though, all of that had been taken away. I just made matters worse by getting myself thrown out of what was serving as my home, leaving myself to sleep on a friend�s couch for the foreseeable future.
Something had to change.
I woke up the next morning, smoked some meth, and drove straight to an outpatient drug program offered by my health insurance. I missed the check in time for that day, but I was told to come back the next morning, which I did. I talked to a counselor, explained my situation, and was given a list of sober-living homes to check out.
As I did this, I kept going to the program�s outpatient meetings, high, but ready to make a change. I was going to do anything I could so as not to end up homeless, or a lifetime prisoner. I had no idea how to stop doing the one thing that had been constant in my life since the age of 15, but I was determined to find out.
When I showed up at the sober-living facility that was to be the place where I got sober, I was so high I couldn�t face the intake staff. I wore sunglasses indoors at 6 PM. My bags were searched, I was shown to my room, and the rest of my life began.
I wasn�t happy to be sober, but I was happier doing what these people told me than I was fighting the cops, the legal system, and the drugs. I had quite a few missteps, but I took my punishments without a word, knowing they were nothing compared to the suffering I�d experience if I left that place.
Overall, I have one message to those struggling with getting clean:
If you want to get past the hump of knowing you have a problem but not knowing what to do about it, the choice has to be made clear. This can�t be a game of subtle changes. No one wants to stop using if the alternative doesn�t seem a whole lot better. For most of us, that means hitting a bottom so low that I can�t be ignored. You get to make the choice of what the bottom will be for you.
You don�t have to almost die, but you might; losing a job could be enough, but if you miss that sign, the next could be the streets; losing your spouse will sometimes do it, but if not, losing your shared custody will hurt even more.
At each one of these steps, you get to make a choice � Do I want things to get worse or not?
Ask yourself that question while looking at the price you�ve paid up to now. If you�re willing to go even lower for that next hit, I say go for it. If you think you want to stop but can�t seem to really grasp just how far you�ve gone, get a friend you trust, a non-using friend, and have them tell you how they see the path your life has taken.
It�s going to take a fight to get out, but if I beat my addiction, you can beat yours.
By now, I�m close to finishing my Ph.D. at UCLA, one of the top universities in the world. I study addiction research, publish an addiction blog at allaboutaddiction.com, and have set my goals on changing the way our society deals with drug abuse and addiction. Given everything I�ve accomplished by now, the choice should have seemed clear before my arrest � but it wasn�t.
Recommended Reading
- Overcoming Addiction
- Addiction Recovery is about Discovering New Layers of Information
- 5 Ways to Supercharge Your Recovery, Avoid Relapse, and Dominate Your Addiction Over the Holiday Season
- 10 Ways to Embrace Creative Recovery and Take Your Sobriety to the Next Level
- Warning: Taking Massive Action in Drug Addiction Recovery Could Result in Creating an Awesome Life that You are Genuinely Grateful For
- Holistic Addiction Treatment Center
Call Today
866-211-5538
24 Hour Treatment
