By: Patrick

Patrick — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 22:03:08 +0000

If you are struggling with a friend or family member who suffers with addiction or alcoholism, then you can find help and support in the forums. It just takes a second to register, or you can browse the comments there without signing in at all. Thanks!

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:47:03 +0000

I have gone around and around with a very dear friend. We met at AA while he was recovering at a community center. He has been an alcoholic since his teen years (about 40 yrs) and homeless for the last ten. When he moved from the center to a room rental he was drunk within two days after 9 months of sobriety. I let him move into my spare bedroom. That was three or four years ago. It has been a continuous cylce for me and him. He lives here with the no drinking rule, then drinks and I throw him out and move his stuff (six times now), he sobers up out on the street (no easy task for the gifted pan handler that he is), moves back in and blah blah blah, ’round we go AGAIN. Then the horrible happened. Me, with seven years clean/sober time begin to smoke pot and drink with him. I could see things going sideways REAL fast. (I came to this town with nothing except a van and a dog and two months under my belt–not to mention three outpatient treatments for alcoholism. I found employment and have made a home for myself). But as some of us might know once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I had to ask him to leave. He has had SO many opportunities, gotten back on the horse many times and still no lasting sobriety. I tried to help but I have to wonder what are his other isuues? I can’t understand someone constantly getting back on their feet and throwing it all away–not just once but many times. I guess that’s addiction for you… I have to take care of myself first and putting him out (back to the streets) doesn’t make me feel good but feelings aren’t everything. I don’t want to go back to the alcoholic I was. With depression, lack of purpose, no employment, regret, shame… all that. There isn’t an easy solution or answer. I takes incredible will power AND and a decision to stop. I know he wants these things, too, but… I can’t help him. He must learn from the consequences of his own actions. I feel for the guy. Addiction is a real bear. It doesn’t make sense and it hurts people. We have to take care of our selves first and foremost. The detachment piece is good when dealing with addicts and boundaries are so important. I know I can’t let this man back into my home like I have done, wanting to help because so far I haven’t really helped him achieve sobriety. It IS an inside job. I have to be firm but not attack him. I have done a lot for him but the rest is up to him. I must hold onto what I have. Thanks for “listening”.

By: okfortoday

okfortoday — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 16:23:54 +0000

This site has been very helpful. Everytime my husband (addicted to cocaine and alcohol) takes a turn for the worse, I come back and read this article. I have finally decided to take a step I have looked into a million times, and I am going to my first nar-anon meeting this week. I also decided to stop hiding his addiction from our children and take them to the meeting with me, so they can get help with their emotions too. I go back and forth between trying to be really supportive and wanting to just give up on him. I fully sympathize with everyone else who has posted, and it is comforting to read about everyone’s situations and know that I am not alone. Thank you to whoever created this site, and I hope you have stayed strong in your resistance.

Comments on: How Can I Help An Alcoholic or Drug Addict? – Specific Things You Can Do To Help

By: Patrick

By: Lori

By: okfortoday