No one really plans to go to residential alcohol treatment in advance and envisions their life all working out perfectly. If this is how you are going about recovery then it will probably not work out in the short run. The path to success in recovery is preceded with surrender. You have to hit bottom if alcohol treatment is really going to do you any good. People who have planned their next visit to rehab are still hanging on to too much control and they are not really ready to get clean and sober.
Why is this the case? Is it a function of personality? No, it is rather a function of denial and surrender. If a person is still trying to control all the details in their life, then they are probably not ready for the level of surrender that they need in order to stay clean and sober.
There was a person in rehab recently and they decided to leave treatment early. This is no surprise as this happens all the time, in rehab centers all over the world. Addicts get antsy and they want to use drugs or they are just scared of sobriety so they bail out. It happens. So this person is at this point, and they say “Oh, I have no intention of using drugs when I leave. I just need to get out and go see my kids. I have to see my kids.”
Notice the keyword in there: intentions. This person has no intentions of using drugs. This statement is laced with denial. It is just dripping with denial. If our intentions were enough to keep us from using drugs, then why would we even need rehab? This just flies in the face of logic. Why are you in rehab to begin with if your intentions have the power to keep you clean and sober? It does not make any sense. This person is deluding themselves. They might even believe their own lies, thinking that their intentions are suddenly strong enough to keep them clean and sober, even though they have struggled for years and years, unsuccessfully, to stop using drugs on their own. Ridiculous.
Of course they don’t intend to use drugs. That is what addicts do. They say one thing and then they do another. They promise sobriety and then they end up getting high, yet again. This is nothing new.
You want to fix this, you have to do something different. And that means slowing down enough to listen to what others are telling you to do. You have to take some advice and stop following your own brain for a minute. This is how recovery must start. Without YOU in the drivers seat. Because you have proven that your driving ends up in bad places. Residential alcoholic treatment is about letting someone else drive your bus for a while. You need direction to make this leap in early recovery. This is how you start on the path of success. By surrendering this control to someone, or something else.