The idea of moderation drives me nuts. Really it does. I cannot moderate anything.
I don’t know if this is true of all drug addicts and alcoholics. Maybe it is, maybe its not. But I don’t do moderation. I don’t like it. Never have.
It’s just so…..prudent. I can’t stand it.
The recent example in my life is due to my high blood pressure. I’m trying to change my diet now, which is next to impossible. I want to eat what I want, when I want it. I don’t want to restrain myself when it comes to eating. Heck, I run a solid 25 miles per week and I’m skinny. I need bacon and pop tarts to survive in this world.
So I quit drinking alcohol and doing drugs over 8 years ago. Then I even managed to quit smoking cigarettes almost 4 years ago. But it’s not enough. Gotta keep pushing for personal growth, right? That’s what I always say. Can’t just stand still and stagnate in our growth and let bad habits continue. We have to push ourselves to grow, right?
Holistic growth. That means that we should not ignore any single aspect of our lives. If our relationships are suffering, then we need to work on them. If our spirituality is lacking, then we should focus on that. Holistic growth means that we are willing to grow in every area of our lives. We have to stay open to opportunities. We have to confront our weaknesses and improve upon them. This is the model for continuous growth. This is the path to real growth in recovery. Creating the best life possible for yourself.
Why do addicts find it so hard to do things in moderation? I think it borders on an obsessive disorder. At least for me it does.
So I am trying to figure out how to reduce my salt intake so that I can lower my blood pressure and thus be healthier. I glance at the snacks and tv dinners that I typically eat every day. Just about everything has sodium levels between 300 and 700 milligrams. Some of the tv dinners are over a thousand milligrams. Ridiculous. I don’t buy fruits or vegetables. Ever.
Just shoot me. My only idea for a workable solution is to switch over to a fruitarian diet. I can just eat fruit all day. Seriously, I could pull this off. I know it sounds crazy but it would be easier for me to go the fruit route than it would be to moderate my salt intake. I would rather just get extreme and eliminate everything and just eat fruit. So simple. Yet I could make it work.
That is just the kind of addict I am.
What do all of you think? Do all recovering addicts and alcoholics hate moderation? Is this normal?
Give my your thoughts on this one…..