When we are trapped in addiction or alcoholism we are typically living in constant fear, and many of us all experience a lot of fear in addiction recovery. In fact it is fear that drives a whole bunch of our actions and behaviors every day and if we can do positive things in recovery and grow spiritually then this hold that fear has over us will diminish.
When I look deep and examine the root causes for why I really drank alcohol every day, I can see that it was fueled by fear. Everything I did was to try and run away from this fear that gripped my entire life. And of course it is not just one fear, but instead it is fear in a million different forms. Fear of rejection. General anxiety. Fear of facing life sober. And on and on it went. I was ruled by fear and the only thing that could assuage it in addiction was to self medicate over and over again.
Well in recovery my fear did not leave me during my first week of sobriety, nor did it really leave me in the first 30 days or even the first few months. I think my fear actually left me after a few months sober when I had a bit of a revelation. It was near the end of a day and I was getting ready to go to sleep and I realized that I had not thought about using drugs or alcohol at all that day. Not once did I have a craving or a desire to use drugs. Amazing.
This blew me away and it really is a reflection on the level of fear that I had in my life. When I was afraid, fearful, or full of anxiety, I naturally wanted to use drugs. This was true in active addiction and in recovery. But I had found a peace in my life and a spiritual connection such that I was not living in fear anymore. I did not have to be afraid and anxious and seek to self medicate these feelings so that I could feel comfortable again.
This is what is meant by “God was doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” I had overcome my fear and apparently my higher power had lifted the obsession to used drugs and alcohol from my life. All within the first year of my sobriety, simply by following some suggestions and doing the work that was put in front of me. It was a lot of hard work but it was not exactly rocket science.
If you want the same results in your life and you want to live without constant fear, obsession, and worry, then you have to put in the work too. What kind of work?
You can take positive action every day and push yourself to grow as a person, or you can follow a recovery program and do much the same thing. The exact path is not important. It is the positive action that builds a life of confidence.