Going to alcohol abuse rehab can be a bit of a defeat for most people. They feel like they have let themselves down, like they have let others down, like they are a failure of some sort because they are checking into rehab to get help. This does not need to be the case, but on the other hand, this state of mind (beating yourself up a bit) can actually be a healthy sign in some situations.
This is because one of the major keys to success in recovery is that of surrender. So many people get this wrong, or they are just not ready yet. They are not ready to surrender. Or rather, they just haven’t done so yet. It is not like it is a choice. You can’t really choose to surrender (my opinion, up for debate). The alcohol abuser either has surrendered, or they have not. If they have not yet surrendered, then they are likely still trying to control the situation, still trying to control their drinking, and still holding out hope for the idea that they can drink like a normal person some day. This state of mind is known as denial. The only way to really get past this is to surrender fully to the disease of addiction. Doing so requires a person to “hit bottom” and be totally defeated in terms of their addiction.
This point of surrender is a big deal to the alcoholic, and they will feel like they are at a point where they cannot really picture their life going on sober, or drunk. They cannot see the future. They can no longer see themselves going down either path. Many will claim thoughts of suicide at this point. This is not so much because they want to kill themselves (though some may), but more because they have reached the point of misery, where they are ready to change, but they do not really have the guts to make the change. They are scared. Very, very scared. Probably won’t admit it, though.
If the person has not reached this state of surrender, taking them to alcohol rehab is not going to do much good. They will not really get the message or be inspired to make long term changes at this point. The best thing to do, therefore, is to learn more about how to behave around the alcoholic in order to avoid enabling them. That way they can reach the critical point of surrender more quickly, and eventually be led to the decision to stop drinking.