http://www.spiritualriver.com/helping-alcoholics-to-conquer-self-pity/ Non-traditional recovery from addiction Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:09:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 http://www.spiritualriver.com/helping-alcoholics-to-conquer-self-pity/comment-page-1/#comment-92999 Patsy Mon, 21 Feb 2011 22:56:32 +0000 http://www.spiritualriver.com/?p=444#comment-92999 I have a girlfriend who has a husband that is dying of cancer. Pancreatic cancer. She is an alcoholic and she is now mad at him and told him that she hates him because he is dying and she is sick and tired of the days and disease being all about HIM. She wants to know when is it going to be all about her. I advised her to apologize to her husband, let him know she didn't mean it, as I'm sure he already knows, but don't stop visiting him in the hospital, like she has, continue to be there for him because if she doesn't she will end up hating herself for not being there for him. She is making his dying all about him. WHy is that? Is that all about her? She started our conversation with My father died when I was 9, I was abused by my first husband, I took care of a woman for 16 years and she died, and now her husband is dying. She is making it all about her. Why can't she see that it isn't about her and that no one is out to get her. Her only daughter is not talking with her anymore because she refuses to stop drinking and take care of her husband. I don't blame the girl. But, once he's deceased, her daughter will no longer want anything to do with her along with other people. So, she will be leaning on me. And now I don't want anything to do with her. I have a girlfriend who has a husband that is dying of cancer. Pancreatic cancer. She is an alcoholic and she is now mad at him and told him that she hates him because he is dying and she is sick and tired of the days and disease being all about HIM. She wants to know when is it going to be all about her. I advised her to apologize to her husband, let him know she didn’t mean it, as I’m sure he already knows, but don’t stop visiting him in the hospital, like she has, continue to be there for him because if she doesn’t she will end up hating herself for not being there for him. She is making his dying all about him. WHy is that? Is that all about her? She started our conversation with My father died when I was 9, I was abused by my first husband, I took care of a woman for 16 years and she died, and now her husband is dying. She is making it all about her. Why can’t she see that it isn’t about her and that no one is out to get her. Her only daughter is not talking with her anymore because she refuses to stop drinking and take care of her husband. I don’t blame the girl. But, once he’s deceased, her daughter will no longer want anything to do with her along with other people. So, she will be leaning on me. And now I don’t want anything to do with her.

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