How to beat hydrocodone addiction

[DOC]

Hello, I relapsed AGAIN. I was able to stay clean for about 4 months and I relapsed in 11/2011. I stayed clean in 12/2011, 1/2012, and 2/2012. I used for 2 weeks and stayed clean for 2 weeks in 3/2012, 4,2012, 5,2012, 6/2012, 7/2012. In 8/2012, I pretty much used 4 lortab 7.5 pills 4-5 times a day for the entire month. I have no good reason to relapse but I did. It takes me a long time to write on this forum because of my shame and guilt of my relapse.

Well, I am 48 hours from my last pills (5 lortab 7.5 pills) feeling absolutely horrible. I want to try to stay clean again. I am just getting tired of relapsing and using. It gets old.

[CJB]

Welcome back DOC, First of all, Get rid of that shame and guilt. We do not judge are accuse or think any less of you because you relapsed. Just happy that you are reaching out again. Well, You pretty much know what to expect. So hang tough, get as much sleep as you can and keep posting!!!

[DOC]

Thanks CJB. You are right. I need to reach out and keep posting. Today is Day 3 for me. I had only 3 hours of sleep, but my energy level seems better than yesterday. It is a good sign. The bad thing is the obsession of the drugs. I can not stop thinking about the drugs. I know what I need to do and I know tomorrow will be slightly better than today.

[CJB]

Yeah I know that feeling. You feel like crap and know that relief and uphoria are just a couple pills away. Your mind is only focusing on feeling better right now. But you have tell yourself that yes, I could feel better for now. But then the viscious cycle stars again. I know it sucks, but hang tough. Force your mind to think positive. The mind is so powerfull that you will begin to feel the way you think.

Thanks for posting today. I check this forum everyday. It's been a month since the last activity. I've been clean for a year as of sept. 3rd. Believe it or not I was seriously contemplating getting a few pills just to see what it would feel like. But when I read your post it woke me up. I realized how bad of an idea that was! So thanks again for posting!!

[DOC]

I saw Kimberly's post this morning. It really hit me at home. People love me and I must love myself. I do not know how I relapsed other than I just wanted to take it to see what it is like again. I did not have any reason to relapse. My life was going fine. My wife loves me. My kids love me.

Today, it is Day 6 since my last use. I think my physical withdrawal is pretty much gone, but my psychological withdrawal is not done yet. I still crave for the drugs. Just like CBJ said, I keep thinking about taking the drugs because I want to feel better. I feel somewhat depressed this morning.

I will keep doing what I have been doing in the last 6 days. One day at a time.

[DOC]

"Please note; this is my son. He was 22 years old. For all of you suffering; please get the help that you need before it's too late. Let your feelings out; find a sponsor. Deal with the pain and please don't use. This was the second time Josh over dosed. It's bigger than you are; it's more than your body can take. PLEASE; if you are using....please seek help. Think about the wonderful life you WANT and how it affects those that love you SO very much. People love you; you MUST love you. There is no greater pain than the loss of a child to such a horrible demon. Please face your demons as painful as they are and seek with all your strength to get the help you so deserve. It's one day at a time; that's why it's called life."


Kim wrote this yesterday. After reading about this, I can not stop thinking about my addiction and disease. I have poisoned my body and soul with the drug to the point I did not care about my life any more. Kimberly was right. I must love me. I want to get better..

[DOC]

I stayed clean until 11/2011 when I relapsed. Since then I had been using intermittently up to 8/2012 when I began to use everyday. I wanted to stop before it's too late. My last dose was at noon on 9/3/2012. I am on day 8 clean. The withdrawal was aweful. This morning I woke up feeling better. I believe I am over the hump. I hope I can stay clean for a long time this time. One day at a time.

[Fred]

I'm back again.I was on here last year and found this forum a great place for help.The longest I've gone has been 30 days without
my pills.Today is day one for me.I've been sick with stomach problems the last few days and am scared the pills are doing it.Today
is day one for me.I've been through this many,many times so I know what I'm up against.I've been using on and off for 8 years.
I'm tired of the ups and downs this drug does to me.I have severe back pain...but I think I'd rather live with the pain then go through
this crap all the time.I get 50 norco's a month from my doctor and usually use them up in 5 to 10 days then withdraw till I get my next
scrip.The withdraws at this point aren't too bad.BUT, I found an outside source for pills and have been taking 8 to 10 daily for about a
month and a half. I just took my last 4 yesterday.I hope I'm done with this cycle.
When I quite last year for 30 days I felt better than I had in years!!! It just took a couple weeks to get to that feeling.Good luck to all
who go through this.I know many of you read and don't respond which is what I did for a while.Gettting your problem off your chest does
help. Thanks and good luck to you and me!

[Fred]

Doc....It seems like day 7 was always the turning point for me as well.I hope you hang in there.
I know we can do it!

[_Erin_]

Welcome back, Fred (Doc, you too)! And hello, CJB! Glad to see this thread waking back up! Well put, Fred, sometimes it's hard to post how you feel or what you're thinking. But it really does help, and the whole point of this forum is to get support, and sometimes you just can't get support unless you reach out. Good luck to you, stay strong!!

[Fred]

Thank you Erin!
I feel fine today.But from past experience day 2 and 3 will be the worst.I've been sick and off work for
the last 3 days so I already feel bad.My worst fear is my wife finding out.Last year she said she'd leave
me if I didn't cool it.I've been hidding it well.If I loose her I loose everything! She is the greatest thing in
my life.So I have to do this not just for me but for us and our future.
I'll be strong. I've done this before and know how much better my life will be and how I will feel in a couple weeks.
I just hope this is the last time!

[Fred]

Day 2. Feeling a little wierd but actually pretty good compared to past experiences.My biggest problems are
my mind racing a million miles an hour and lack of energy.Aches and pains are back but not too extreme.
I'm trying to stay busy but get tired fast.I woke up at 4am restless and unable to go back to sleep.
I'm just hoping to feel good when it's time to go back to work on Monday!

[Fred]

Day 3 for me.I actually felt good on day 2 but today was rough.Because I had the stomach flu last week I was already sick.
Today I would get very tired at any small task,very gittery and nervous feeling.I've never experienced this type of withdraw
before.I had a few beers yesterday which actually made me feel better.I'm normally not a drinker.I'm afraid to go back to work
in the morning,but I have to.I know I don't want a pill but I just wish I would get back to feeling normal!

[_Erin_]

Hi Fred, I'm glad to see you're still posting... you can do this, you have before. Just stay strong and stay focused! Remember what you have to lose if you don't (your wife). Please be careful with trading one addiction with another, though, I have seen that happen several times with friends of mine. I hope to see CJB and Doc, and others, come back and support you, too. They know first-hand what this is all about, but either way keep posting! You'll get through this, and you'll probably help someone else in the process!

[Fred]

Thanks again Erin!
Day 4 was terrible.I had to go back to work and felt absolutely aweful.Everyone at work knows I've been sick so I easily
was able to blame the way I felt on that.I feel better tonight and have no cravings yet.I think it's because I'm so
sick feeling.I know tomorrow will be better and everyday after that.I'm sure the worst is behind me!
Good luck to everyone!

[_Erin_]

Woohoo!! Keep going, Fred! I'm glad you're posting! Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do the motions until you're happy to do it. I'm glad you're not craving so far, and hopefully you will feel better soon! Treat it like the flu - get plenty of rest (if you can) and plenty of fluids. Keep looking forward. I'm proud of you, for what it's worth!

[Fred]

It's day 5 and I feel much better.My energy level came up a bit and work went smooth.I leave for
vacation this Friday so I should be ready for a great time by then.The only problem is with feeling
better I had a couple minor craves today and I know the further out I go the more I'll think I can
get away with "JUST A COUPLE". That starts the cycle over again.I just have to work past that
feeling when it comes.
Thanks and good luck everyone! And thanks Erin for the support! I do appreciate it!

[CJB]

Welcome back to the forum Fred. Keep up the good work. Your probably through the worst of it. Now you got to stay mentally tough. Especially when your mind tells you "JUST A COUPLE" Because I know from experience that even 1 well put you right back where you were. Enjoy a sober vacation!!!!!!!!!

[Fred]

Thanks CJB.
It's day 7 and I'm feeling really good. The only real thing I'm feeling now is a high level of nervousness for some reason. I'm still not having a bunch of cravings....Thank God!
I'm leaving in a couple hours for vacation and feel pretty good about not needing a pill.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!

[_Erin_]

Have a great vaca, Fred!