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T. Thank you. I took my last one on Sunday. I am sneezing my head off this morning. That's one of my w/ds. Upset stomach, but not bad yet. Its only Tuesday. I would normally be very ill but I grab my phone and find you guys. Its funny how I get butterflies in my stomach when I see y'all have posted. Its some of my daily nourishment. I am pulling up my boot straps and going to work. I want to crawl under my house and stay but I know what's coming and God will carry me when I start feeling sorry for myself. I can't wait to be back where you,Doc,and CJB are. I have been there and it is great. Well here goes. Need prayer. I am at the same time worried about Slave and Emily. Wish we could hear from them. Oh boy im in trouble. Im sitting here crying my eyes out and I have to go to work. God bless y'all and I will talk to ya tomorrow. Stay strong guys. Imagine being back at day 2. That ought to push you on.lol
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T.,Doc and CJB. Do y'all mind telling me how many times you relapsed and what was your real breaking point. This is my third time and I don't have a lot of confidence anymore. This could be w/ds making me feel this way. I am struggling this morning. I don't even want to pray. I know better than to say I will never do it again. He knows my weakness I know. I just don't trust myself.uuggg
Last edited by counting days; 08-02-2011 at 04:41 AM.
Reason: didnt finish
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Counting, I relapsed more than 3. I'm not exactly sure the exact number but I know it was more than 3. Each time you relapse you gain more experience and you will start to hate the pills even more too. So in a way it can be good. That was what it took for me. Not feeling like praying is normal at this stage. Tell God how you feel. Tell Him you don't feel like talking today. Tell Him you want a pill. Tell him you feel weak, angry, desperate, or what ever you're feeling and leave it at that. He want's to hear your open, honest feelings. Even though He already knows. He wants to hear you talk to Him. Then ask for peace & strength. He says "Be still, and know that I am GOD!" God Bless
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Yes, like CJB, I relapsed 3 times.. The way you feel now is exactly the way I felt when I was in the first days of WD. Be strong and yes you still need to pray. Just pray or say a few words from your heart. Tell the God how you feel now.. Take today off if work will make it worse for you. Most importantly, you do not pick up any mood altering drugs now. The pain will be there, but people do not die from pain; they only die from drugs. You also just focus on getting thru just today and focus on the present. take one day at a time..and make this WD the last one you have to endure..
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Hey friends!
Counting, I can't even remember how many times I went through withdrawals, not that I was trying to quit but because I would run out and have to go through that hell every month. I would actually go two weeks waiting for my prescription to be filled, stupid I know, I should have just quit then but wasn't ready. Then I found a way to buy off the street, big mistake! Started doing more than ever and spending amazing amounts of money. Finally after months of guilt and shame and feeling awful it was time to stop. My posts in March document that time for me, that was 34 days and the longest I've went so far. I was feeling great. I think what happened was I got too comfortable in my recovery and too confident. Was going on a big family outing and though "hmmm, you know what would make this day even better" yep dumb, dumb, dumb! They were easily accessible at that time so while I was thinking I could have an awesome day and only do them that day I deceived myself and fell right back down into the pit, had to sit down there for awhile and like I said in a previous post I obviously tried to come clean again (don't remember but it's on my posts) that lasted 10 days and relapsed, don't know why, probably time for my script to be refilled and decided I hadn't had enough punishment yet. I am trying again and on my 15th day, I can't say I will never relapse again, God I pray I don't but I do tend to get overly confident and comfortable in my recovery. Just last night I dreamed that I did pills, I dreamed I had twenty of them and they looked really weird, they kinda looked like they were suppose to but they had this weird foil wrapped around them and when I opened the foil they looked strange, not like what I thought they were suppose to. Yesterday I started entertaining the idea and fantasizing (spell check) about doing some but didn't and got through the day, I don't know why all of a sudden they appealed to me and it scares me. After reading your post this morning (Counting) about being on day 2 and be glad we are past that, that helped me more than you know and woke me up and will give me strength for today so thank you 
I think part of my problem is I still am not experiencing the energy level that I would like and that is soooo hard for me but I know "this too shall pass" I need to be patient and take one day at a time. I do NOT want to reset the clock in my recovery and have to start over with day 1. Thank you all for being here, I don't think I could do this without you all, I too get excited when I see your posts, and feel lonely when no one posts.
Counting you may want to try taking Benadryl for the sneezing, that seemed to help me the first time I quit, haven't taken any this time but I do remember it helping, also I took Tylenol PM to help me sleep at night but be careful with that as to not become dependent on it. I don't feel that I am being very encouraging today and I'm sorry about that but we will all have days like this and that's where this forum and you guys are gold to me. Stay strong Counting, we are all in this together and we all understand completely what you are going through, maybe the world doesn't understand but we do!
Doc and CJB, I don't know what I would do without you two, thank you for being here, I need all of you.
Slave and Emily, please come back, no judgement here just understanding.
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T.,Doc,CJB. Thank you all for your answers and help. I thank God for you guys. That's all I know to say right now. I need to reread and absorb these post again. Like I said, y'all feed me daily. I don't want to become a leach. Just feeling horrible right now. You guys always make me feel hope and a bright future. Please don't go back to where I am right now. Oohh to be at 17 days again. I will get there and further this time
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T. I just thought about something. You say you are on day 15. I had no energy at day 17 but I did research and found out that it can take a few weeks to get that back and exercising and laughing helps with that. Just thought I would run that by you
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Dragonfly. We are here with our many troubles that probably go way beyond just addiction. There are many things a body and mind can become addicted to. Ours just happens to be the wonderful feeling of opiates. You feel free to share your story with us. You will get no judgment here. God bless you.
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Good morning my friends. Still have my head in the mud but the point is im still here and have a positive mind set even though I feel like crap. I hope Slave is still reading so she can see that she's not the only one that has has to start over. It is painful. I hurt in places that shouldn't hurt. But going through this before I know this is part of it. I can't wait to hear from yall. You know who you are. Lol. Oopps. I laughed. It felt good too
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I wish I could think of a good joke right now. I can never remember one when I need to. Timing is everything, Anyway, hang in there counting. Isn't it funny how long 15 days seems when we quit using. But when we were using, as long as we had an ample supply, 15 days was like a blur. I'll try to find a good joke for you counting. T, Doc, Everybody, any good jokes today???????????
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Senior Member
I read this post, too, even though I'm not addicted to hydrocodone, and I find a lot of inspiration in your posts and how you help each other through. My younger brother is classic for jokes, so here's one he told me a long time ago that stuck with me... pretty corny and it might be funnier told in person, but I'll do my best to convey the punchline!
Two blueberry muffins are sitting in the oven, baking.
The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says, "Whew, getting hot in here, isn't it?"
The second muffin says,
"AAAHHHH!!!! A TALKING BLUEBERRY MUFFIN!!!!!!"
Love you guys!!
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Good morning everyone
Dragonfly, I've read some of your posts on another thread, addiction is addiction and we are all fighting something here so welcome to our thread!
Erin, lol, we welcome you also!
Hello CJB!
Hello Doc, missed you today!
Hey Counting, you're doing it! Before you know it you will be through the worst of it, day 3 right? How was work yesterday? I'm amazed you went to work on day 2 wow, did you find tapering helped?
I'm doing okay, been struggling for a few days trying to get something done around here. Haven't slept well for a few nights so not sure what's going on with me. Day 16 and I'm plugging along, taking one day at a time because right now that's all I can do, the days seem extremely long, not as long as the first few days of w/d but still they seem long. I know this lack of energy and depression will pass, it's all part of the process but it's getting old. I will get through it I just don't like it! Hope I haven't bummed everyone out today, just venting, I just got up after not sleeping well so not thinking real clear yet. This is a another great reason to NEVER do another pill, I never want to go through this process again!
Counting stay strong, take one day at a time, you will be back to where you were before too long! Still amazed you went to work lol.
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T. I am at work again today. Im skaky but im here. I dont have a high pressure job so that helps. I have my own private office. The reason i can muddle through is because i did what YOU told me to do. Thank you. Its still toughbut managable. I have the shakes today and a little ill. I not only bit my directors head off but i chewed it up and spit it out too. I cant believe i did that. Not me at all. Maybe i should not be here but i have too much work to do. Thats the first time i have ever tapered and it really does help. Plus God is using us all to push each other forward. T. I remember clearly at around 15 days i felt like i was going backwards but i would have quick little happy moments. It seems around day 17 i was feeling almost human when i fell and broke my knee and you know the rest but i know you are almost there. Watch a funny movie. Walk. I loved the walking. I felt more energy when i did that than what the pills gave me. Its just so dang hot. You are a big inspiration for me. You hang in there.
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Erin. I did laugh at your joke. You are precious for doing that. I wish i could reach right through here and give you a big hug. I hope you stay with us even if its to make us laugh. I am a bit of a cut up and tend to act very silly. I think that helps so much. Thank you sweety
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Here's a joke for you all!
When asked by a young patrol officer "Do You know you were speeding?" An 83-year-old woman gave the young officer a gull-wing smile and stated: "Yes, but ... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going." The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day.
I am definately no where close to 83 but kinda rings true for me and my situation "I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" Have a great day everyone!
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Thanks Counting, I knew I would have days like this! Actually since getting out of bed I am feeling much better and good things are happening with my business today (I work from home) so that is keeping my mind occupied. I too snapped at someone yesterday (my poor husband) but I think he understands and will make it up to him later! Have a wonderful day!
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T. Loved the joke. That was funny and I can relate to that one too. One reason is because im going through the change. Now that I know you are a woman you may or may not be there yet. Another reason I love the pills. They make that part of life easier or I thought they did. When I had my brief time that I was over the major w/ds and just getting into the PAWS part of it I realized that I really can handle the menopause better without them. Have you researched PAWS. Im surprised Doc or CJB has not mentioned it. That's probably where I found out about it. See how confused I get? I thank God that you are having a better day today. I am still shaky and tired but as you said "This too shall pass". Yall have got me wanting to remember a good joke now.lol. I will talk to you all tomorrow and God bless y'all. My new family.
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Reading the post has become my everyday routine. It made me cry and it made me laugh. Most importantly, it helped me stay strong and recover from my addiction. The post is like my journal that I can always go back and reflect. Someone in the past told me that time heals but time also forgets. It is so true.. I have started to get comfortable with my recovery and this is the time I will start to forget how bad the drugs were and how bad my life and WD were. VERY DANGEROUS FOR ME RIGHT NOW.. This is why I need to keep reading the post to keep the memory fresh..
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Always good to hear from you Doc!
Counting, yes I am a woman lol. We are probably close to the same age as I too am experiencing some of the same things you talked about. I don't like giving too much info on here about my personal life cuz I don't want some people figuring out who I am haha. What I mean by that is family members, if I thought someone I knew was reading these than I couldn't be as open and honest as I would like to be. Today is definately better than yesterday and Doc is absolutely right on the money when he said "we forget what we went through" that's when it gets dangerous for me as well. I've laughed and I've cried on this forum also. I remember crying uncontrollably while reading posts when I was hopeless and couldn't get out of the pit. I had wished I could do what everyone else was doing (stopping the addiction) but at the time I just couldn't. Now I have a sense of freedom but a guarded freedom. I know I am not above relapse so I need to take each day at a time and make the most of each day with all my strength, the strength God gives to me daily. Today I was thinking about a time I took so many pills probably 20 (10mg) throughout the day and I was thinking wow how horrible for my body, can't believe I didn't die on those things. Those kind of thoughts also help keep me clean, makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it and also thinking yes it would feel good (for a short time) but then what, back to feeling bad, back to spending tons of money, back to taking a chance of getting busted and going to jail, scares me to death to think about that kinda stuff. I have too much to lose to go back to that place.
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Good morning friends. Im on day 4 from hydros. Its early and im not sure how I feel yet. I wanted to know if any of y'all know about PAWS. I did a lot of research on it. It is very helpful. It makes so much sense know. Maybe i think im the only one just now finding out about it so don't laugh at me. Anyway I guess we all stayed on this stuff a while and it may take a while to completely recover. If y'all don't know about the PAWS please read about it. Our little brain receptors seem to be on fire because it has not learned to make endorphines. No wonder there is so much relapse. To me that is great to know. It makes me want to fight harder and do things to start making my on brain stuff. Every time we laugh,cry,get excited or when scared we make that stuff that the pills took over. Isn't that exciting to know. Im having a hard time getting excited about anything this morning. Bad day so far. I just couldn't wait to share with you guys. Energy will return to us all. T.,CJB and Doc. I can't wait to hear from y'all. I would love to hear from someone that has been free for at least 6 months. I want to know how they feel right now. God bless you my friends
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