How to beat hydrocodone addiction

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

I wish I could let things go for a couple days. I have 4 kids and basicly no help. I got the percocet and it sat here for a cople hours, while I tried to just push through it. Finally I decided to take half and then take the other half this morning if I need it. Hope I don't sound like I still want to use, because trust me I DONT! I feel like I am thru the worst of the physical w/d's. Today will be a big day for me, as there will be a fresh new bottle of tabs lurking around. I hope I can stay strong and not take any. Want to be free of the grip EVIL Mr. Watson has had on me for so long. Thanks for posting back, it means a lot to know therre is someone out there who cares. So glad I found this site. I am going to take your advise and go for a walk. I did that yesterday when I had a major desire to use. Even though i have a valid reason for taking these they have destryed me. I need some other tips for what to do when I really want to use. Thanks for the support.

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Is there another page or site where I can post when I need a fast response. I am really wanting to use right now. My mind keeps saying..."you can have just one" "just one wont hurt you" "you can have one and put it back down, you did it the first time...right?" no No NO!
I went and picked up the prescription for him and didnt take any. Brought it home still have not taken any, they have been here for about 3 hours. Funny thing is I didn't really WANT to take them. My husband has been in an ill mood and made a nasty comment to me and I think that is what is makin me want to take one.

[CJB]

I know how you feel. Having them so close and know that they can ease your discomfort. But you have to be strong. Trust me. You will begin to feel normal again without pills. As I said before, You will have to go through the misery of withdrawl sometime. I did what you are doing so many times I lost count. Suffering for 3-4 days. Almost there and then just take one or two. Then BAM. Right back to 8-10 a day. Then 3-4 days of suffering then one or two then Bam again. When I look back I think of how I turned 5-6 days of actual suffering to be free into more than 30 days. Yes, they were spaced out with using in between but how rediculus. I is a terrible cycle. Please trust me here. If you really want to be free, don't take one. Stay focused on the big picture. You can do it. Even though you took half a perocet and maybe you already took more hydro. It doesnt matter. Start now. You have made it through the worst of the W/Ds. A couple more days and you can be free. I will try to respond more quickly to support you when you feel weak. God Bless!!

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Wish I would have listened to you. So [issed at myself. I broke down and took 2 tabs yesterday. I didn't really think it would make the w/d start over.... figured it would sorta drag it out. Woke up early this morning with creepy-crawly skin, hot/cold flashes and explosive diarhea..... so so disapointed in myself. I am going to my doctor today.... thinking about asking her for help. Not sure what I am going to do for pain managment in the long run. I think I inflate my actual pain in my own mind as an excuse to use more..... when honestly the tabs do not even affect my pain anylonger. They just keep me from having w/d, so why do I keep taking them? It feels good to talk about this..... don't loose faith in me because I will beat this. I have to!

[CJB]

Wish I would have listened to you. So [issed at myself. I broke down and took 2 tabs yesterday. I didn't really think it would make the w/d start over.... figured it would sorta drag it out. Woke up early this morning with creepy-crawly skin, hot/cold flashes and explosive diarhea..... so so disapointed in myself. I am going to my doctor today.... thinking about asking her for help. Not sure what I am going to do for pain managment in the long run. I think I inflate my actual pain in my own mind as an excuse to use more..... when honestly the tabs do not even affect my pain anylonger. They just keep me from having w/d, so why do I keep taking them? It feels good to talk about this..... don't loose faith in me because I will beat this. I have to!

Yes, the pain is an issue for you. And yes I would tell your doctor. She very well may be able to help and knowing she knows will help when you feel weak and think about asking for a refill. Your mind will play tricks on you. You will feel a little pain somewhere and get excited and think " Wow, I have a good excuse to get some tabs" But remember, You and I can't take them as prescribed. Also. your pain may intensify while witdrawling because your nerves are waking up. They have been numb for so long and know they are super sensitive. Anyway I will never loose faith in you because I am you!
I think you should tell your doctor!! God Bless!

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

OK I feel a little better today and have taken advantage of that to get some more things done around the house before I tackle DT'ing again. I think it is important to re-iterate to anyone who is thinking about beging the process... "YOU NEED A PLAN" I got fed up one day decided I was done and the house was a wreck, I have 4 kids that depend on me, as well as the garden and our home. I FAILED! I will do this again only this time I have my plan, my support (CJB THANK YOU FOR ENCOURAGING ME!) and so much willpower! I think I will post my plan so if anyone else reads this they can suggest things I may have forgotten or use my plan as a guide to kick this demon out of their lives too.

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

My plan is this:
1) make sure the house is in good shape and the laundry done (check out www.flylady.net)
2) get supplies immodium, gatorade, puzzle books to occupy my mind when I am too tired to walk
3) have meals made ahead for kids and fam so I just need to re-heat.
4) have a list of things I want to do with my family that I have not been doing. concentrate on this or walking when
a craving hits.
5) REWARD myself with something POSITIVE for every day I stay pill-free
***Remember that each day will be better than the last...... You can do this!***

[DOC]

I myself have repeatedly relapsed on hydrocodone. Went to rehab for 90 days in 2003 and stayed sober until the beginning of 2010. I started using because I thought I had got the addiction cured. Quickly the half of a pill a day turned into 15 hydro 10/500 a day. I went thru the hell of WD in the fall of 2010 and used Ativan/Valium/ambien to cope with my WD. I only stayed off hydro for one month. I started abusing hydro and benzo in large quantities that could easily kill any other persons. Hydrocodone was the magical drug for me. It fixed my depression, headache, back pain, allergy, and any other problems in my life. After several months of abusing, I was determined to fight back my addiction again. I went thru the pure hell of the WD for 10 days in the middle of 2/2011. I stayed sober for two months that time. In 4/2011, I foolishly took one hydro that I found in the corner of my desk drawer. Again, that one pill turned into 15 10/500 lortabs a day madness. I had a lot of anger, shame, and guilt about my relapses. Hydro always gave me the comfort and helped me forget those bad feelings. The cycles continued on and on...
Now, I am 9 days off my drugs.. The WD symptoms are pretty much gone except insomnia. I don't have much of the anger, shame, and guilt anymore. This time, I have the better understanding in that I am completely powerless over the drugs and my life was totally unmanageable with the drugs. In 2003, I turned over my addiction to my higher power and worked on my spirituality and I got 7 years of sobriety. Time heals but time also forgets. I stopped working on the 12 step program and I relapsed. Today, my head is clear. It's time for me to go back to the meetings and work on my spirituality..

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Today I am finishing up things I need to get done before I begin my detoxing. I have to go grocery shopping and take 3 of the 4 kids to the clinic for appointments. Pay some bills and take care of som other misc. things that would be horiible durring withdrawals. I am planing on today or tommorrow being my last Lortab.

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Wow Doc, you have been through a lot with this drug. 7 years of sobriety..... that is a great accomplishment. Gives me hope that there really is life without those little blue tabs.

[counting days]

Hi dhawkforgiven,
Thanks for your post. I too, am a born again child of God who struggles with addiction to these pills. I've always wanted to post about the power of Jesus in our lives. But was afraid to for fear of offending or alienating people. But it's time to let the cat out of the bag so to speak. I have see His miracle power in my life. But like you, when I begin to be more me centered and less Him centered. I lose it. Anyway, I thanks for mentioning Jesus on this forum. I believe you have just opened the door for some powerful posting

I hope im doing this right. Never done this. I am 14 days free from hydrocodone after yrs. of taking them. I have tears in my eyes right now because I too am a Christ follower. It is so hard to live a lie and follow Him. I feel such freedom and I have gotten through these days with hope. The numbness from my mind has been lifted and I am loving my relationship with the Lord. I really did miss my Father. I WILL beat this. I personally have enough faith to allow Him to get me out of this mess that i got myself into. I will gladly deal with the consequences. I am so happy you posted what you did. God bless you. I do need prayer. We all know this is so hard.

[CJB]

Congratulations on 14 days. I'd say you are through with withdrawls and well on your way to freedom. It was horrible to live that lie in church. So hard to pray and read the bible with so much shame and guilt. The pills made me bitter and so self centered. Even hateful. I'm so glad to have peace now and I pray for freedom and peace for all of you.

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Ok I am so excited, I know I post a lot but it has helped me get my mind where it needs to be. I am READY and PREPARED to quit the pills this time. I am taking 5 mg around 9 in the morning so my withdrawal will start at bedtime and I can sleep through the begining of them. I have removed temptation and searched everywhere so I don't stumble upon any durring the w/d phase. I have hope after going back and reading the stories of the earlier posters and what they went through and how they overcame. I still have to run to the pharmacy in the morning for immodium because the diarhea is the worst physical part for me. If anyone has any tips for the cold chill/hot flashes please let me know. Kinda wierd to be looking forward to the onset of withdrawals lol. So far this site (CJB) is the only support I have. I told my husband about my plan and about quiting and told him I needed his support/encouragement and all he could say was, "there aint that much to it, you just have to cowboy up and do it." This coming from a man who will lay on the couch or in bed for three days and dare anyone to talk to him or even disturb him. That is ok, because now I know I can do it anyway, and thanks to www.flylady.net and her facebook page I know I can take care of my home and my 4 kids while I am doing it! Good luck everybody I hope you are doing great!

[counting days]

Hi Slave to Mr. Watson, I just read your post. I will keep you in my prayers. The first 4 days are going to be a bumpy ride. It seems to ease up a little day by day after that. For me, I am at day 15 and I got up and put on makeup and im going to work. Im still a little shakey but ready to get out of this house. Make sure you go for walks when you can mannage. You CAN do this. Keep us posted. I am so excited for you. I cant wait until you get to day 15 and tell us all how you are feeling. It will be here before you know it. God bless you. OH yeah. What has helped me a lot is magnesium. 500 mg.

[Slave2Mr.Watson]

Counting days, thank you for your encouraging words. I had refills on some prenatal vitamins so I picked that up while I was picking up the immodium. Do you think I should take more magnesium.? As far as the immodium I know it says to take the first dose after your first loose stool but I went ahead and took one with my last tab, really wanna be ahead of the runs lol.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more counting pills, counting days till my rx is time to be re-filled, counting money to buy more, counting hours till time to take my next dose, counting minutes till my first pill of the day will kick in so I can get my day started. I know it is going to be HARD, but I am prepared and have you and CJB to lean on. I hope you have an easy day at work.

[_Erin_]

Slave - My hat is off to you as you begin your journey!! I'm so happy for you. You sound very determined and strong-willed, and it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your plan of action. I am just in awe of everyone here. I love seeing the growth and enlightenment, I'm feeding off it!!

I just wanted to wish you the best! I hope to see you keep coming back and telling us how wonderful your life is becoming!!

[CJB]

Yes the stress of keeping and managing your supply basically consumes every minute of everyday. It really is a great weight lifted when you are free from the pills. It will take a few day of feeling lousy but it is so worth it. Yes, to be honest, I miss that high feeling I used to get. But I sure don't miss $50.00/day. All the counting, hiding, and manipulating. Stay strong. Stay focused. It will pass soon. Best wishes and God Bless!!!!!!

[DOC]

I agree with all of you. I am 11 days off the pills and I feel much much and much better. The first 3-4 days were absolutely the worst, but everyday after that was one day more away from the hell of the pills. For those out there to stop the addiction, hang in there. I have been there and I know what you are going thru.

[DOC]

YES, I am happy that I am 11 days off the hydro. I am feeling much better physically, but this is the time when my brain is playing tricks on me. Part of my brain is telling me that " See, the WD is not too bad. Hydro is not too bad. Do I want to take just one pill now??".

NO, I am not going back.. One pill will become 15 in a matter of days.. It has always happened like this. The WD was hell. The days of using were hell.. I am going to take a walk now.

[counting days]

Hi Slave 2Mr.Watson. I glad you mentioned the magnesium. I forgot something. I didn't start taking that until after my bowels settled down. It tends to make you go. Im sorry. But when I could finally take it I noticed my muscles do not twitch and I sleep better. I take it in the morning. 500 mg. I also started drinking a LOT of Gatorade from the beginning. To me that was so much help. Is today your first day? I will be praying for us all.