You know, for me many of the drinking times were good- many of the TIMES were good, but I was always drinking- maybe I would have had those good time without alcohol- who knows! We all suffer from the physiological aftermath of all that booze. It may be awhile before we can feel natural euphoria again, but the alternative is worse, don't you think? Alcoholism is a three stage proposotion. Stage 1: fun!, stage 2: fun with problems, stage 3: problems! It isa one way street and there is no turning back.
Yes, well put Ruth!
All you have left is problems, but I can relate to those who didn't really have any "real" problems with drinking. I never got bad hangovers, just feel a bit tired and always wanting junk / carbs while drinking and/or the next day .. and that is a pretty bad problem when you feel like that every day!
Its not like anyone else would look at me and think I have a problem. Only I know how I feel about myself and that my drinking is really telling me that I am not living my best life.
Eric, I have given up smoking many times in my life. The mistake I made was getting complacent and losing the fear of tobacco. The little voice saying "Oh I've done so well, maybe just one little one" ... thats all it takes and then you are right back to where you started from. I think that is a powerful previous lesson learnt that I can apply to this current situation.
Quite a few times I find myself starting to wonder about what is missing, realizing it's a drink, but luckily, so far i have managed to shut the thought down straight away like Patrick said.
Its interesting observing how much alcohol is just an everyday fact of life ... friends come for lunch, bring bottles of wine (one for them and one for you). Work colleagues looking forward to after work drinkies or talking about how bad they felt the day after the after work drinkies. Friends on the email loop declaring that they will never drink again, but oh how much fun was Saturday night? (does anyone else realise that we have been doing this for over half our lives now?!)
I have pretty much realised that I can choose to grieve the loss of alcohol, and be miserable. OR I can think of it as an old friend who I still wish well, but don't have much in common with anymore. My life has moved on, and that old friend has been left behind, Im busy with my family, kids, job and leading a healthy life style (well still not quite there yet, but working on it) that I am not even thinking about that old friend - Im having too much fun!
The interesting thing about looking at other people's drinking is that we almost always assume they are normal and feel happy. The truth is that we have no idea how they feel and they may be suffering just like we are. We also used to put on the happy face and cheerfully recall the drunken escapades. We can only judge ourselves.
I was very functional for most of my drinking career. I excelled at my job, got married, had kids, made good money, etc. I just didn't feel all that happy with life and knew that all the drinking wasn't good for my life. It was shocking to me how fast it all fell apart when it did.
Yes, I guess that is a really good point. Many of my friends say "never again" every Monday morning. We all know its not good for us, but for some reason we can't stop ... well I couldn't stop until now. I found myself trying to figure out how I was going to get to and home again for work drinks on Friday ... it took me a few minutes to realise that it would be easy since I will not be drinking and therefore will be able to drive .. sweet!
I saw on the main thread someone saying how they went out, and just ordered a cranberry and soda or something, didn't make a big deal about not drinking and no one even battered an eyelid. I think a lot of the time we exaggerate in our own minds how people will feel if we don't drink. I think at the end of the day, everyone is too worried about themselves to really worry about you.
I am hoping that when I have a month or two under my belt I might be able to recommend the site to others.