Day 9, feeling good but need to get moving. I read this article this morning and think its wonderful. http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpr...iveLiving2.pdf .
Day 9, feeling good but need to get moving. I read this article this morning and think its wonderful. http://www.spiritualriver.com/wordpr...iveLiving2.pdf .
Good morning all! It is the start of Day 3 for me. I didn't sleep well at all last night but I woke up feeling better than I did yesterday so that's something! I hope you all have a safe and sober day.
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Sunny, good post reminder for me. I read this earlier, and now that you posted it I read it over again a 2nd time. Gives me an extra bounce to my step today! Thanks!Originally Posted by Sunny
Day 2 is starting out well - reading the latest forum entries and making the commitment to not drink today.
Good luck Molly!
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
I'm in hyperzone, normally I would counteract this with 4 or 5 pints ... will ride it through today. Little voice in my head repeating how I don't really have a problem, go on its only a few beers, other people drink far more, you don't drink in the mornings, how could you have a problem, ... the article is right, I need to take more action else I'm back to square one.
"Massive Action"
I wanted to post these quotes where someone could see them. I hope they speak to you as they did to me.
"It is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future. And this is his salvation in the most difficult moments of his existence, although he sometimes has to force his mind to the task."
-- Viktor Frankl, Austrian Neurologist
"If you care enough for a result, you will most certainly attain it"
-- William James, Psychologist
"Giving up is the ultimate tragedy."
-- Robert Donovan, writer
"No great thing is created suddenly."
-- Epictetus, philosopher
"The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things."
-- Ernest Dimnet
Hi all.
Having read this forum every time I've tried to stop drinking I thought I'd take the plunge and say hi. I'm on day 16 this time which is my second longest period of total abstinence for over 20 years (I did 30 days the year before last). I have realised that even though 16 days is good by my standards, the challenge every day is just as hard though changing in its nature and hence I'm joining in here. What I've recognised is that for me, the first week was more about the physical side of not drinking i.e. getting to sleep, dealing with the headaches and so on which was a much more tangible challenge. I could feel it, almost see it, and so confront it.
What I'm facing up to now is the next layer of challenges, living in the normal world without my nightly dose of beer and this is challenging me to think about why I've drunk for so long.
A little about me. I'm a professional, respected in my job and learnt over the years to function quite well despite my heavy beer drinking every night (I don't have a regular 9 to 5 so would never make appointments in the morning for example, I told people I was working from home so I could recover enough to function through the day). Now though I'm tired of it, tired of putting on weight, tired of never having a good morning, tired of losing all of my evenings in a haze, tired of the money wasted, tired of not "being" just existing.
Looking forward to talking to you all and probably leaning on you as well.
All the best,
Locus
Welcome, Locus. You are in the right place.
Check out the thread How to Quit Drinking where there are active conversations. Read the articles on this site. Most of us are just like you -- functioning on the outside but battling demons on the inside. You will find a lot of support here!
Stay sober today and best wishes.
Sue
Last edited by Midwest Sue; 01-30-2012 at 02:56 PM. Reason: spelling
Hi Locus ... As Sue said, You are in the right place! So glad you took the plunge today, you are already helping someone....Me! It is my day 7 and I am still fighting the effects from detox. Reading your post has helped me realize this is normal. Thank you!
I, like you, have the luxury of nursing my hangover by working from home... A total waste of a morning. I am so tired of it too!
Welcome and good luck in your journey.
I found this great article today, I hope it speaks to your problem like it did mine:
The Top 7 Signs of Self-Sabotaging Behaviors (and what to do about them)
By Dr. Robert Anthony
Having trouble reaching all your goals? Are you going for what you want, but feeling like something is road-blocking the way? Are you finding yourself "not" doing some of the things you know you should be doing?
You may be a victim of sabotage---self-sabotage. How do you know, and what can you do about it? Read on and see.
1. Focusing on what is not working, not right or missing from your life.
Problem: Notice how often you speak about and think about what is not working, not right, or missing from your life. This only attracts more of the things you don’t want.
Action: Ask yourself a new question: "What's going right?" or "What IS working?" Begin to notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence journal and each day write down everything, I do mean everything, that is working and you will attract more of what is working!
2. Being stuck in fear:
Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what is going to happen or might happen? Are you thinking about your fears so much that you are paralyzed and take no action because of fear of what might occur?
Action: It is time to put your focus on the present. We can't control or predict the future or other people's behaviors. All we can control is our own, right here, right now.
Ask yourself the question "What is the worst thing that could happen?" Then, let go and know that rarely do the scenarios we create in our heads occur. Take a moment to put things into perspective by writing down the things you can not change, the things you want to change, and accept that the Universe, God, Spirit, whatever you call it will take care of the rest. It always does!
3. Feeling you have no value.
Problem: Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack pride in who you are and what you have accomplished? If you obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of achievement, then you'll be stuck in noticing how much you lack as a person. If you often criticize yourself or can't accept compliments, it’s a definite sign that you have fallen into this trap.
Action: You can choose to notice what you do that is good and the things you can be proud of, no matter how small they may seem. Each day keep a log of what you are grateful for about YOU. When you hear your mind chattering about what you haven't done right or well, turn down the volume and turn up the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about who you are and how you add value to the world.
Acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each and every day that you did well. Each day, compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about. Notice your small successes and accept the compliments others give you.
4. Comparing yourself to others.
Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel badly when compared to them? Comparison doesn't motivate us to do more or be better, instead it makes us feel we'll never be good enough and we aren't right now.
Action: Write out the 5 qualities you like best about yourself. Then write out what you value most in your life. When you go to a place of comparison, notice how similar you are with the other person vs. what is different. Begin to create a list of adjectives that describe you - at least 25 positive words about your greatness. Whenever you notice yourself in a comparison mode, think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU.
5. Self-Sabotage – getting what you want and then losing it.
Problem: Do you not believe that you deserve to have what you want? When you get what you want, why do you often lose it or mess it up? What is the true story underneath - maybe that you think you aren't good enough to have it?
Action: List all the things you have accomplished that faded away. Simply notice these things, but don’t place any judgment on the fact they disappeared. How did they bring you satisfaction? How did they make you feel? What is the limiting belief that you have that tells you inside why you can't have what you want? Be quiet, be still and listen to it.
Write down how you felt when you had what you wanted. Write down how you feel now, without it. Then write a "bridge belief": A very, very small belief that feels a little bit better than what you now feel. Each week, create a new bridge belief, not matter how small, that you can really believe. By using these bridges as stepping-stones, you'll shift your limiting beliefs slowly and be on the other side of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will have a new belief inside of you.
6. You chase away relationships.
Problem: Do you always feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with the other person? Perhaps you are afraid of intimacy. Underneath this is usually a fear of abandonment or exposure that causes you to distance yourself from others.
Action: Create a list of the qualities you value in a relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your partners. Express what you want and don't want to the other person and allow them to express the same to you. Create time to acknowledge the other person on a regular basis. Notice when you feel afraid. Don't try to push the feelings away. Know that the feelings are there and that is fine. Then, in that moment, focus on what feels good about the relationship.
7. Having no purpose.
Problem: Do you feel you have no purpose in life? We all have some purpose for being on the planet and it is time to notice yours.
Action: Write down all the things that are important to you – the thing you want to create in your life. Then write out what you want to contribute to the world. From your writing, create a statement of purpose for yourself that you can read each and every day.
Then stop worrying about not knowing your purpose and start creating what you desire now. It doesn’t matter what you want in the future. So start creating something you want in your life NOW. This action will ultimately put you in alignment and bring you closer to your overall purpose.
Wow. Thank you, Ken, for this really valuable piece of writing.
Thank you so much Ken!
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Why shouldn't she go... And me. Not looking to be anyones punching bag. I chose kind words.
In my ongoing search for the cure for addiction, I have found some information that I need to share. You all know there are many approaches to treating addiction such as AA, REBT, SMART, and going to rehab, but I have been focusing on one lately called Rational Recovery. I found it incredibly easy to understand and immediately helpful. I hope it will help you too!
Here is there website: https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
Scroll down the page and click the Crash Course button. It will take you through a series of slides and I promise it will be worth your time. It describes the Addictive Voice Recognition Technique or AVRT.
I would explain it, but they would do a much better job, so I'll leave it to the pros. Here is a link to their 200 word explanation of it: http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36
Going there now. Thank you, Ken. You are truly caring and supportive.
P.S. WOW ... just WOW ("Although AVRT is very, very simple, you have to know what you're doing, and learning it can be tricky at first. This is because your [Addictive Voice/Beast of Booze] uses your own intelligence and personality in order to remain concealed from you. It is ruthless in its pursuit of alcohol or drugs, but it can also be quite subtle, forceful, seductive, persistent, patient, and has many other qualities."
Last edited by Molly; 02-04-2012 at 11:39 AM.
A great article I received today that I thought was worth sharing:
Begetting Change
Same Choices, Same Results
A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past issues left unresolved.
Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Our first instinct in such situations is often to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.
Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accordance with your needs.
Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.
Ken,
Thank you for another good share!
Sue, I had intended to post these articles a while back but forgot, you inspired me to do it now. I will post the first one here and the second in the following post.
Waiting for Someday
Why Not Now?
All the joy and passion you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in a future point in time.
The time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly. How we utilize that time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals. In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now—because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.
When regarded as a question, "Why not now?" drains us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, "Why not now, indeed!" we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.
All the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time. You need only remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and fulfillment. If you decide that today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.
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