Getting Started

[Ken1]

Good morning everyone, good advice from Nicolelee about taking it easy your first week. A simple phrase I learned here was HALT-hungry, angry, lonely, tired. The basic triggers that can sneak up on all of us.

Jules, you have a difficult situation, but you can do it! Go to the main site and read through some of Patrick's articles that speak to you. There are so many of them that apply to your situation (and all of ours). One huge thing he points out is that you have to quit for YOU, don't worry about anyone else, particularly right now. Just don't take that first drink, find an alternative, anything you like; tea, root beer, sodas, anything else. Sure it's hard, but if you weren't ready you wouldn't have taken the time or had the nerve to post your message. Please stick around, read through the forums and the main site, continue to post, you will be surprised how much this site can help you! Good luck!

Hey Marky Mark, great energy and confidence. I hope you stay sober today also.

Mike in Italy & Sarah, hope you come back.

Nicole, I have a couple of other books for you to check out. The first is one called Twenty Four Hours A Day by Hazelden and the second is Night Light by Amy Dean, also from Hazelden publishing (the AA people). They are small books, the size of the old pocket size Gideon Bibles, and are a one page per day meditation. I find them tremendously helpful.

[marky mark]

Thanks Ken......today will be a week. I feel strong but I have been here before. I finally feel great physically and mentally, so hard to believe that I easily choose not to. I am determined but cautious. Seriously learning to live today and not focus past that! I am thankful for this site and those who post.....Lets stay sober today!!!!!

[mikeinitaly]

Nicollee,
I hope trhat your still keeping up with me here on day 15...
Michael

[marky mark]

one week down and day 8 begins, mikeinitaly day 15 is awesome keep up the good work. gonna stay sober today

[marky mark]

Did I mention how much better i sleep sober......i went to take a nap and 12 hours later i awoke!!! That would never happen if I was drinking or should I say power drinking and I don't ever remember it happening in the last 15 yrs. I hope all stays sober today. thanks again to all who post! your thoughts and encouragement have helped tremendously. I will not drink today

[Sally]

marky mark - you have been doing amazing!!! pat yourself on the back and keep going:] YOU CAN DO THIS!! If I can, anyone can LOL Isn't sleep wonderful now?
mikeinitaly congrats on 16 days!! don't look back. don't pick up that first drink again and get back on that merry-go-round we called life....keep moving forward.

[Jules]

Ken,
Thanks for the encouragement.I will read articles.First Friday night alone in years, we hubby and I had candy bar and movie. Just woke up sober YES!!!!!!!!!!!!I may sound stupid but friday nights are a trigger plus no kiddo would of been party time.I woke up proud of us.

[Jules]

Hi Im trying to quit .Weekend drinking which turns into every other night of 3 or 4 beers later.Husband says he will if I dont tell anyone.He says he doesnt want to look stupid and if we change our mind and want to have one with friends we can.I agreed ok but inside thinking WHAT!!!!!Ok theres a great plan.Well we made it through a Friday night candy bar and movie.Great woke up sober. YES!!!!!!! Rest of me says shoot theres today Saturday all day plus tonight.Looks like a LONGGGGGG day ahead. Lol. Just not good posting yet thought this would be posted in just getting started oops! ha

[marky mark]

thank you Sally......Jules you can quit if you want to all by yourself. Just stay sober today!!!

[nomoredayones]

I just joined today. I am hoping tomorrow (Jan. 15th) will be my last day one. I want to stay sober this time for good. I have done too much damage and hurt myself too much from alcohol. I am in my late forties and for the last almost 2 years I have been drinking 2 bottles of white wine almost every night.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I tried AA and it is not for me. But I need to do this and I am motivated but afraid.

[mikeinitaly]

Hi Everyone,
Yesterday I was thinking that this whole thing was a bit too easy. 18 days. and aside from the first week's jitters and urges I didn't have any problems. Yeterday was very hard. I was really bored and I rationalized to myself all afternoon that maybe one or two would be ok. Then I started cooking and really wanted to open a bottle. Then my wife got home and I felt embarassed, and didn't do it. But I was sooooo close, it was scary. I'm not sure that if she hadn't of pulled in the driveway that I would have resisted. Just goes to show. that the battle is not over.
I have a question: Am I wrong to think that one day I will be able to enjoy some wine occasionally with a nice meal, like most people? I am so passionate about food and cooking that the idea of no wine ever again is totally depressing.
Michael

[marky mark]

Morning all, day 10 begins and like MikeinItaly i had my urge to drink yesterday and it was unbelievable. in the grocery store and went past the beer isle and it was on......it took me about a minute and i left the store getting the only two things in my basket. I had to get the hell out of there. Mike, i have the exact same thoughts about drinking like most people but seriously i dont know who i think most people are. I do believe some who are passionate about food and cooking dont drink especially if they are like us. FOCUS ON TODAY ONLY, JUST TODAY
Morgan today is day one for you, take massive action, if you have alcohol in your house get it out, eat, walk, nap eat.....do what you have to do just for TODAY. I am 2 years into my journey to sobriety and am on day 10 again. I will take it!!!!! I will not drink TODAY. Lets all stay sober today

[Jules]

Marky Mark your right I can quit by myself.So far husband sober.Couldn't believe he ask me last night Sat.night want one.I said no he laughed and said ok.He wont drink unless I cave.Good pressure If there is such a thing.We live in a dry county and hr from liquor store.He was standing by outside refrig.That means he stopped Thurs. and bought some beer just in case I cave great now we have it here.Thoughts just one day out of 8 wouldnt be bad ringing through my head.

[Jules]

Michael same as my husband.Let me tell you don't do it.We quit for 7 yrs.I loved it didn't miss it( after the first month of mental pain of thinking about it)It was mental hell for us until we decided.7yrs. later went to visit sister who drank at the time, thought want to? just this vacation!!!!.Well 6yrs later we are in our old pattern.First it was just Birthdays, then once in a while, then every weekend.Not drunk.Sometimes 2 or 3 max 5 in whole day and night kinda thing. Seems rational but now every weekend. Its sad. 7 years made it fine, actually we were proud and thankful.Sucks to be back.There is a reason you do decide ok Im gonna quit right?
We are on about day 8 a Sunday.We are almost past bad word (weekend.)It's exhausting I think because truethfully we haven't 100% DECIDED.Have to say when we were sober those 7 years I was the happiest and achieved so much more.

[nomoredayones]

Well, today is Day 1 for me. I feel shaky and anxious. I wish I could just stay in bed but that is not an option since I have children. I just want to get through the day. It is only 12:30 in the afternoon and I am looking forward to going to bed for the night. I just want to get a few days together so I can feel stronger.

[Ken1]

Michael, a word of caution; I quit drinking for four years + and decided since I had it under control, it would be fine to enjoy a couple of beers on the weekend. It was fine for a couple of weeks until I started back to my normal 6 day a week drinking (oddly I usually never drank on Sundays), and not just drinking a couple. I was full on getting hammered every day within two weeks of caving.

I can also relate to what you are saying about the thought of never drinking again being depressing. I felt it come over me today like a wave. I am feeling a sadness, almost like grief, that I am not going to have alcohol as part of my life anymore. No more having a cold one while cooking out, going to the game or concert, or anything else that I ALWAYS had a drink while doing. It's odd, I know alcohol is keeping me from living up to my potential, but the thought of never drinking again is daunting! I guess I should think of it like this, is it hard for someone that is allergic to peanuts to give up peanut butter? Is it fair? No, but it is the right thing to do. How many mornings do I have to wake up, feeling like an idiot for being so weak, swearing to never drink again, only to justify drinking by the afternoon? When will it sink in that alcohol is not my friend, that the problems in my life that it numbs me to could most likely be solved if I addressed them directly instead, that it is keeping me from reaching my dreams? When will it finally sink in that just because I'm bored or irritated or pissed off or whatever that drinking is not the answer? When will I admit to myself that I can not drink normally? I know all these things to be true, but there seems to be an undercurrent of fear about how in the hell am I going to deal with all that life throws my way without my old crutch. One day at a time I suppose.

[marky mark]

welcome Elliesdad. congrats on 16 days. I refer to alcohol as My Best Friend That Hates Me........always willing to take my hand and lead me to misery. Keep up the good work!!!

[Sunny]

Ok, my first ever post on Alcohol. I've been drinking fairly heavily since 16, slightly over 30 years. A controlled drinker (mostly) and have never addmitted to anyone that i might have a problem. And still not sure ??? Relatively successful in life but felt i could have done better without the beer. I have regular binges with certain friends and family. Apart from that I go to great pains to generally only drink between Thursday and Sunday to ensure I don't mess up in work. I took a break from work in Nov as I work freelance. Since then I've drinking at home almost every night ... but generally only beer 4-5 large cans .. carlberg, and secretly treat myself to stronger ones on some nights. I've managed to stay off it now for 8 days ... probably a record for many years. I never get agressive when drunk, and even my wife doesn't seem to think I've a problem, although my very young son recently asked me to give it a break and reduce my gut :-)
So 8 days ... feeling a bit odd today but really want to stay clean. I think about beer far too much. I went to one AA meetinging 2 years ago, I didn't speak , just listened to others. I left feeling as though they were all 10 times worse that me and that I didn't deserve to be there with my small 4/5 can a night habit. Not sure what I want to get from this forum, but felt i needed to express my feeling as I've told no-one that I'm quiting, don't want to make a big deal about it to anyone, but just quietly stop drinking and change my life.
T

[Sunny]

Keep it up Dominic, great you are making such an effort

[nomoredayones]

Welcome Dominic and Sunny. I also have tried AA in the past and it wasn't for me. I couldn't follow all the rules - a meeting a day, call 3 people every day, get a sponsor, a Higher Power, etc., etc.
I am on my second day sober and my drinking was 2 bottles of wine a day so I probably "belong" in AA but I don't feel like I fit.
Good luck to both odf you. You are off to a tremendous start!