I am starting this new thread for anyone just getting started trying to live free from alcohol. This thread is for those that are trying to get a:
-Day 1
-Day 2
-Week 1
under their belt, or for:
-Relapsers
-Rookies
-Anyone just trying to get some traction
The goal here is to support each other while we try to get to the 30 day mark. Good luck to us all and I look forward to learning from everyone.
Last edited by Ken1; 10-02-2011 at 02:24 PM.
Thanks Ken.....I have just less than 11 days to go for another 30 days under my belt. I have had 30 days before, and then I slipped, lost my resolve for really no good reason. It has been difficult, but I have kept in focus that my life is so much better when I don't drink. It is comforting to be able to feel good about myself again. I like to focus on the positive in life, let the past go, can't change it, future is not here yet, focus on the present. That is all I can do. Living in the present gives me the opportunity to really make a difference for me and for those that I love, or to whom I have some accountability. This journey really is about integrity and resolve.
I like your energy, and I look forward to checking in here often.
You are a real leader, and I like that.
Hugs and don't drink today. It gets better with each day that we don't give in.
Juliet
Julliett,...I like your energy too and look forward to reading your posts. I came her to learn and gain momentum and like you, I think I may be using this as a substitute for drinking, but I think that's better than drinking! I also try to focus on the future and be positive. I was talking to my sister yesterday about how one person in a bad mood can ruin the day of everyone they encounter whether it be at work or at the grocery store. I have reached a point in my life where I avoid negative people if at all possible.
I hope to hear from you often in the future, feel free to PM me anytime if you don't feel like participating in any of these forums. Thanks for the hug and here's one for you....I've seen the good side of not drinking and know how much better life is without it. Feel free to lean on me anytime!
Thanks Ken...gonna go grill some chicken now for the family, with black beans and rice too.
Hope you have a great evening. Eat something, take care, and focus on you and not the "voice". That is my plan anyway!
Look forward to more conversations.
Thanks for the hug back too! I needed that. I spent too much time focusing on negative today!
Juliet
I've been thinking so much lately about stopping drinking. I hate how I feel in the morning and the fighting with my husband. We both drink in excess but he thinks it's not a problem. I'm tired of it and ready to stop. I want to enjoy my family especially the grandkids. I've been through treatment and AA but didn't really care for the AA meetings. I live in a small town atmosphere where everyone may know what you're doing and at this point want to be somewhat discrete.
Linda,...you are safe here and anonymous! I came here for the same reasons, AA didn't do it for me, maybe it was just the meetings I went to.
I have discovered that if you think you have a problem, you probably do, but I am not qualified to make any direct statement on your situation. I can tell you to look around here, check out the "How to stop drinking" forum as well. You will meet some very supportive, non-judgmental people here that can give you support, encouragement, and some great tips about stopping drinking.
For most of us here, we know we have a problem, can't drink normally, and have either quit or are trying to. Ultimately we know our lives would be better without it! If you have not, check out some of the great articles by Patrick Meninga at http://www.spiritualriver.com/ the parent site to this forum. Go to the archives tab and check out articles that call out to you.
Most of all, welcome and good luck to you on your personal journey!
Hey Ken,...how goes it this morning?? My bet is that you are doing great. Thanks for starting this thread,...hopefully it cuts down on some of the drama in the other main thread. How hard is it to live by the elementary school mantra of,..."if you don't have anything nice to say (type),..don't say (type) anything at all."??
I guess I qualify as one of those trying to get some traction,...or at least someone trying to work up the nerve/guts to give quitting a chance. I recently heard an awesome sermon at the church I attend that had a strong theme regarding addiction. It really hit home with me,..summed up the way I feel alot of the time (I'm sure many others here too). Here is a brief summary of one of the great analogies the pastor used,...probably the best I've ever heard...
He basically told a story (I assume true) of how Eskimos kill wolves. First the Eskimo would sharpen the blade of a long sword/knife until it was razor sharp. He would then soak it completely in seal blood,..and then leave it outside of his igloo to freeze. Once frozen he would repeat the proccess, soaking the sword in seal blood,..then letting it freeze. He would do this over and over until the sword was thick with many layers of frozen seal blood. He would then set his trap,...by burying the handle of the sword in the ice outside,..with the blood frozen blade sticking up. He would then wait for a wolf to smell out the blood. The wolf would inevitably come, begin licking the frozen blood,...over and over,...not stopping,...layer after layer until it reached the blade. With it's mouth numb from the icey blood, it couldn't feel the gashes to it's own mouth, so it would keep licking until it finally bled to death. All the while the Eskimo just sat and waited for the wolf to do itself in. Once it was dead the Eskimo would simply load up the wolf and hall it off for consumption.
A pretty gruesome story no doubt, but what a picture of what addiction to alcohol or drugs does to us?!? How many of us here can relate to the wolf? How much like alcohol/drugs is that bloody sword? I haven't been able to get that visual out of my head.
Last edited by kevin2; 10-03-2011 at 07:30 AM.
Great post Kevin! Thank you!
Welcome lindainmn!
Kevin,..I'm doing pretty well, how about you? I've heard that same sermon! I didn't make the addiction analogy, but you are right on! I heard a great sermon over the weekend regarding trials. As in why does God allow things to happen in our life that are not in line with what we want (Dr. Charles Stanley at http://www.intouch.org/)? The point was that God doesn't give us exactly what we want just because we want it. He can see the big picture and knows if we just go through certain experiences, we will come out stronger on the other side.
The best example is if you pray for patience, God doesn't bestow you with patience, he presents you the opportunity to be patient! He described it as sandpaper filing down our rough edges, polishing us for our future, to make us better and stronger. I'm choosing to apply this to alcohol.
I'm not trying to start something or rivalry, I just feel like an outsider on that forum sometimes. I am going to continue there for sure because I have learned a great deal there, but I doubt I would ever be one of the "insiders". I am definitely a person trying to get some traction and a relapser, and many of the old timers there have months and months. I thought it was for rookies, but I don't feel like it is.
Ken, thanks for the message by the way, and yes, I identify with your beliefs. The carpenter from Nazareth is my main man. I so appreciate you bringing the message of patience to me. I can sometimes be very impatient, and mostly with myself!!! I too have felt a bit like an outsider on the other forum. While I understand relapse, been there too many times to count myself...I am looking for positive reinforcement. I want stories, and affirmations, positive messages, just llike the one Kevin posted here this morning. I want inspiration because it is stories like Kevin's that remind me why I am struggling for something different than the life I have been living. I cannot continue to hate myself for where I have been, it just doesn't do me any good.
Thanks for the thread. But most of all thank you for your understanding, wise words, and heartfelt friendship.
Don't drink today, and seek out the positives, and the grace that is there for us, even if we are imperfect human beings, we really are spiritual beings, living a human existence as a gift from our Creator.
That is my plan anyway.
Luv, Juliet
Great post Ken,...love your 2nd paragraph and agree completely. I'm doing okay today,...typical Monday a.m. I will keep posting in the main thread also. I've learned alot there,..alot of great people who really give me hope and inspiration. I don't neccessarily feel like an outsider,...but do feel somewhat out of place or even hypocritical posting/telling my struggles and problems to so many people who are trying their best to beat this thing for good,..when I haven't yet even made a true effort. Best of luck to you Ken,...I have confidence in you. The only advice I am qualified to give right now would be,..not to get ahead of yourself,..stop and truly appreciate how good you feel in the mornings, how much better you sleep etc. Be careful though,..any time I have gone extended days without drinking, I start feeling so good and have so much energy that it drives me to "celebrate". Also, do your best to keep fresh in your mind just how bad those day-afters really are. I have a tendancy to invoke voluntary amnesia when it comes to that.
...and thanks so much for the kind words Juliett (cross posted). Glad you liked the story,...it is brutally true for so many of us. I love reading your posts as well,..you seem like a brilliantly classy lady.
Last edited by kevin2; 10-03-2011 at 08:10 AM.
Kevin,...how right you are about getting over confident. That reminds me of a story about people and the "comfort zone."
Julliet,...this is for you...(luv, Ken)
When the alternatives are staying in a "cage" of your own making (your "comfort zone") or facing the unknown, most people will choose the cage over and over again. It is not necessary to know what your ideal life will look like, you only have to know what makes you feel better or worse. It's the concept of "feeling your way to happiness", not the realization of some perfect ideal that creates our best lives.
So what do you do? You make all decisions based on what makes you feel better psychologically. Trust your gut. Don't just follow what you think people want you to do, you must know what "feels" right and good for you. I am not talking about huge movements, just short small corrections to get yourself headed in the right direction. You can choose to live in a cage or you can start building your own version of paradise.
We all know that drinking makes us feel bad (in the short and long term), so break out of that cage and follow what you know is your highest and best path. Life is too short not to pursue your dreams, so let go of regret, forgive yourself, and get going!
Last edited by Ken1; 10-03-2011 at 10:25 AM.
Oh, I think I discovered another song to stop drinking by,....Desperado by the Eagles?
When the alternatives are staying in a "cage" of your own making (your "comfort zone") or facing the unknown, most people will choose the cage over and over again. It is not necessary to know what your ideal life will look like, you only have to know what makes you feel better or worse. It's the concept of "feeling your way to happiness", not the realization of some perfect ideal that creates our best lives.
Very true Ken,...that reminds me alot of a great scene from my favorite movie "The Shawshank Redemption",...when Red (Morgan Freeman) finally gets parole after 40+ years in prison. He has no idea how to live on his own,....has to ask his boss for permission to piss,...says he can't sueeze out a drop unless he's been given permission. He's then pondering committing another crime just so he can be sent back to prison.
Kevin,..one of my favorite movies. Anytime I see Shawshank is on, I'm probably going to watch it. I saw another prison movie over the weekend "The Green Mile".
These are both great illustrations for the prison of alcoholism.Originally Posted by kevin2
Hey Regina, great post, good to hear from you on this thread. Keep it up. You sound so resolved today to make it, you can do it!
Hi Ken1- I just wanted to put a word in...one way that people learn the skills they need to get better is by listening to/reading the experiences of others who have been in their shoes. I understand feeling like an outsider, we probably all felt that way not so long ago. There is a lot to be learned from the experience of others. Not to discourage you from doing whatever it is you need to do to recover.
Ken,
Where are you? My guess is that you may have slipped again and just don't want to talk about it. If that is what happened, don't beat yourself up, because it is not easy. Just keep posting and talking about your struggles. It not only helps you, but others reading these posts. If you read back through these posts, you will realize many of the old-timers on here relapsed over and over before something clicked and they were finally able to get days under their belt. Some of us, ok me, got many days under my belt before I slipped and drank again. I plan to dust my self off and get right back to business. I truly hope you are ok and we hear from you soon.
Good morning sunshine!! As I told you before,..if you can refrain from drinking while going through all you have recently,..then you can do anything. I'm so glad you are safe,..you must have really tied one on last night.lol I'll send you a (pm) response also. Hang in there.
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