Something took place this weekend that shocked me, and I just want everyone's opinions on what I should do, if anything.
Those of you that post regularly probably already know my background story, but I'm going to briefly give the lowdown. I'm 30, a child of an alcoholic. My mom started drinking 20 years ago when my dad died, developed several health problems (diabetes, congestive heart failure, 2 amputated toes and quadruple bypass heart surgery) and continued to drink until her death this past January. Since then, my siblings (24, 35 and 39) picked up the family habit. I went to Al-Anon for a couple years (about 3-4 years ago) because I had a major problem with what I was witnessing with Mom. When my siblings continued to get drunk on a frequent basis a few weeks after Mom's passing, I told them I had a problem with it, voiced my concern, and then backed off. It was my experience with Mom that after that initial confrontation, it really does no good to continue "harping on the subject," as Mom would say.
I, myself, do drink on occasion, but am aware of the family history and not naive enough to believe I could never become addicted. At the time of Mom's death, I was also breastfeeding, so I do admit that I don't know that I wouldn't have done the same thing to cope, had I felt I had that option. (My daughter saves my life in so many ways!)
Ok, so on to my issue...
This weekend, my fiance (John) threw a surprise birthday party for me. Regardless of what I'm about to post, I had a blast and really appreciate all the hard work he put into planning this thing!
My younger brother (24) and his fiancee showed up at around 3. He said he'd been cleaning his garage all day, and he was plastered. She was pissed. (She's not a drinker.)
My older brother (35) didn't show up at all. It didn't really surprise me, though, he's a workaholic and staying pretty steady on the path to being a full-blown alcoholic. (Honestly, I don't think he's had a single night without a drink since Mom died. Lots of guilt feelings going on there.)
My older sister (39) took me out for lunch AND came for the party. I really enjoyed her company and appreciated that she came to hang out - until I saw her give my 6-year-old nephew (her youngest) a shot of Captain Morgan!!! I was in shock. I've never known my sister to do that kind of thing.
What gets me about the whole thing is that I seem to be the only one of us that realizes the correlation between how Mom spent the last 20 years of her life and the road they're going down now. KNOWING that Mom greatly contributed to her own death with drinking, wouldn't you want to especially shield your children from that?? I know I'll be shielding my daughter, and at the very least, not dispensing it to her as a very young child!!!
Anyway, John made a comment that "knowing what went down, we are as much to blame as she is," and it stuck with me. My question is, what would you do? I don't feel 100% OK with letting it go. If it had been anyone else, I would have contemplated calling CPS on her. I always saw my sister as someone who would do anything to protect her children (she has 4). My nephew is a touch autistic and a brilliant little boy, and I feel like she did this to put herself in the spotlight at the party.
I love my brothers and sister, and would do anything for them, but it is becoming more and more evident every day to me that we are all traveling very different roads now. I'm starting to want to distance myself from them. Before this, I wouldn't have thought twice letting my sister watch my daughter. Now, there is no way in hell I'd trust her!
Should I confront her? How should I do it? Any and all input is sooo appreciated!