I spoke to my husband today. Even though he drinks (heavily) he said he would support me in my desire to be sober. He said he won't bring alcohol in the house. I had such insomnia last night and I have felt yucky all day today but I am holding on to the belief that if I stay sober, it will get better.
Thank you for that link Carol.
Hey everyone. Welcome Anna and other new members!!! Regina, you actually sound different this time. I think you are ready. . Peter, how is your plan going...are you still cutting back?
My memory is not like dragonfly's, I can't remember everyone's specific posts, but it sounds like a general theme is that folks are staying sober this weekend, but it has been hard as $&@/! I understand. Hang in there, it does get better. Holiday weekends are especially tough. I had to fight the temptation a couple of times, but found if I could just hang on and not give in - in the moment, it passes...
First challenge was yesterday when we had a dinner party. First, I was responsible for buying wine and beer for the party, second, my husband was already having a glass when I got home from grocery store, and third, he actually asked me at least have one drink at the party. I think he was worried I would be boring without it or my not drinking would make guests uncomfortable. Regardless, I didn't give in and night was fun anyway
Today, my dad kept trying to give me a glass of wine this afternoon. I had to decline more than once.
I successfully avoided those land mines and believe I am now safe for rest of evening, but still have to exercise tonight.
It will be 7 weeks tomorrow... 49 days.. Hard to believe
Enjoy the rest of your weekend....sober
Last edited by Millie; 09-04-2011 at 06:12 PM.
Wow, 7 weeks. Congratulations Millie!
Thank you Sam. The insomnia is rough. Especially when I feel tired but just can't fall asleep.
I have so much to work on - my eating habits, I have to start exercising - but first and foremost, I have to stay sober.
I needed to tell my husband because he offers me wine (he buys my favorite kind) and I give in. He said he won't buy it for me anymore even if I ask him too. I know he won't stop drinking but it helps that he is willing to be supportive of my not drinking.
I hope I can get some sleep tonight. I am thinking of you all and wish you a sober Labor Day. We can do this!
I've realized that I don't belong on this site. And the reason is that I keep turning to the brew again and again. This time on day 4 (again)...........
The best heartfelt wishes to all of you. I gained a huge insight to WHY I keep turning to drink, from you all, but I'm not at the place where it's over yet.
And shit that sucks!
I don't even know why I pray. I keep praying for other peeps......and meself is so messed up!
Patrick........you absolutely did the right thing here...........God bless you in all your endeavors.
Oh, Cathy, don't give up on yourself!! You made it 3 days before you crashed and burned. Would you have done that before? I had SO many many tries and restarts before I finally have found some peace, free from alcohol yet knowing that it would only take one little drink.
Shake it off. If you can, stop drinking right now. Get as good a nights sleep as you can and see what you think in the morning.
Oh, it's so hard but it's so worth it. Don't give up, never give up!
PS, if this site were only for success stories none of us would be here. Its a safe place to share the agony. What we do have in common is a heartfelt desire to quit!
Cathy, just because you are struggling doesn't mean you have to leave- stay and keep thinking about what you need to do. All of the attempts, the thinking about it, the promising, bargaining, etc., this is all part of the process of getting ready. The question is actually pretty easy... is your life better with alcohol? If so, you are in the wrong place. Is your life chaotic because of alcohol? If so, you are in the RIGHT place!
Regina, I think it is a powerful sign that you told your husband. It is difficult to admit the struggle and open up to someone else, and once we do, we kind of have to admit it to ourselves, as well.
Millie- I don't know how old you are, but for women of a certain age (like myself) there are hormonal causes and cures for insomnia (let me know if you want more info on that). Most likely, it is just getting off of alcohol, and it will pass.
Anna, how's it going? For me, it was just deciding that NO MATTER WHAT I won't drink today. That's it. And have a plan for what to do when the urge strikes. CHeck in and let us know how it is going.
Cathy, we need you on this site posting. Don't even think of deserting us.!!! Don't give up either.
Hi Ruth. Thanks for asking. I haven't had anything to drink today. Lots of water and Gatorade. I felt like crap earlier (a little shaky and major headache), but I'm okay now.
Originally Posted by Ruth
I talked to my boyfriend and he's more than willing to be supportive. He wants to go to an Al-Anon meeting and thinks I should go to AA, but I'd really rather do this on my own. I'm not sure what turns me off so much about it - seems kind of "churchy" I guess? We're not going to keep any alcohol in the house anymore.
I've tried to quit on my own before, but something feels different this time. I think it has to do with finding this site. It means a lot to me that you asked. I do need to think about what to do when I get bored and/or get cravings. I already quit doing cocaine (a year and a half ago) and smoking cigarettes (for the most part - only when I drink - a few months ago) so I know I can do this, but I have no illusions about how hard it is going to be.
And thank you for the welcome and congrats Millie!
And Cathy please stay Seems like there are a lot of supportive people here who don't want to see you go
Ruth - Thanks for the advice on vitamins. I currently do a twice a day multi (lots of B) + 1000mg vitamin C + fish guts (omegas). I haven't locked in yet though. Still looking for the right combination. For example, I know I need to increase beta carotene and potassium. Am reading some things about CoQ10 and significant increases in C (like 5000 to 10000 mg which a number of DRs believe could significantly increase the speed of liver repair). Will share my final concoction with you when I figure it out. Of course, eating right is a big plus as is a ton of water (2.5 liters is the target, but I'm not there yet).
bdog - Keep at it mate. Its a cliche, but just a day at a time. I used to fixate (well still do, but getting better) on unpleasant or stressful events in the future. I'm not a terribly religious man, nor do I personally go for the AA approach, but the daily prayer has some wisdom, "... grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference." A day at a time...
Regina - Do not give up. My wife and I were both big drinkers. We had a wake up call a few months ago and both decided to quit. She started a month before me as we didn't want us both in detox / early withdraws at the same time. Initially, while she was quitting and I was not, we had a couple simple, but hard fast rules. First, I was responsible for my liquor. Meaning, she would not buy it for me when she went out. This is actually more of a pain than you may realize in that all alcohol in Sweden is sold in government owned stores. They open M-F 10 to 6 and then Sat 10 to 3. I work M-F 7 to 7 on a short day. So you can see, I had to find time in the middle of the day to buy liquor. I was polishing off a 750 a day so would need to buy 2 to 4 bottles at the same time (they don't sell anything bigger here). Second, I would not drink in front of her. I just felt too guilty. So I would take my stash down to my home office, mix up my drink, and pretty much keep it out of sight as much as I could upstairs. After the month, when I stopped, it was much easier. Actually, my wife and I (we've been married almost 20 years) have actually grown closer as we have something in common other than our kids. We also have more money for "date night" as we not only save on the liquor from home, but dinners are a ton cheaper when we go out. I'm rambling.. Probably not helping. Keep strong!
As for me, slept most of Saturday again... Sunday was better, but this narcolepsy thing is driving me insane. I hope it ends soon!!!
Please don't leave Cathy. I was in the same boat as you a little while ago and decided to leave this site. So glad I came back. I'm only on Day 17 today but for me that's huge. The people here have helped me so much in this attempt. I'm not feeling great but i do see slight improvements each day. It's fantastic when I have moments of clarity that I haven't had for years.
Welcome Anna. I love your list too and have one similar that I take a look at when I feel tempted. If you've beaten cocaine and cigarettes I'm sure you can beat alcohol too. Good luck!
Ruth, thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I am now moreso observing these unwanted feelings. I separated from a 16 year relationship 16 months ago and I'm only realising now that I've suppressed all those emotions surrounding that with alcohol and haven't dealt with any of it. This is going to take some time but in the end it will be worth it.
Well done Millie on 7 weeks.That's an awesome achievement!
7 weeks today! For those thinking this time it feels different - Regina, Anna - that's how it was for me 49 days ago. I reached a point where things HAD to change. I believe things come in for you and finding this forum was my saviour. Millie and Casey stopped drinking the same day and here we are. Its been hard yes, but so worth it. I am at a stage where although I think about alcohol alot I've lost that desperate urge to just drink, out of the cycle. I used to come in and as soon as that door closed straight to my gin. Latterly, I was hardly bothering with wine, just spirits, sometimes straight from the bottle. I would have some of my husband's brandy in between because I wasnt getting a buzz. Anyone else would have been falling down drunk.
I must say that I'm not jumping up and down with joy but I feel really strong in mind, sleeping properly, involved with my family, friends. My husband says he's stopping today but really his drinking hasnt affected me. If he cant stop its no big deal although I would like him to for his own sake. From avoiding the booze section of the supermarket I can now buy him his drinks with little desire to buy my old friend for myself. Sometimes I think a drink would give me a boost, make me feel normal, happy, but what I need to always remember is that I haven't been living for the last 8-9 years, just surviving, coping, struggling, blinded, like Sam said, "tuning everything out".
Cathy, dont go. Keep posting. I know its hard but try again and we will support you. Peter, bdog, I hope you can do it. We're here to help.
Well done Ruth - I hope I will be posting 90 days in the near future too.
Connor, I'm sure I could sleep all day if I let myself. In church yesterday I nearly dropped off and that was only 11am. I've been worrying about sleeping during the day and not managing to sleep then at night so over the weekend I've been keeping busy. Yawn ......
Day 17 Rosella, well done! Once you are at that stage the days quickly add up.
Congrats Mairianna and Casey. We are at seven weeks. I couldn't have done it without you two!! Here is to another 7 weeks and more.
It is hard to believe it has been seven weeks. Boy, life goes by faster and faster at this age. I am thankful I am taking positive steps, instead of just watching it go by!
Thank you everyone. The temptations are very high today. Trying to keep busy.
not a good day yesterday but i knew it was going to be that way. I hope this will be the last weekend I do this. Connor1a and Samantha, Carol thanks. Regina , Rosella, I have been down so long and so depressed dont give up we can get thru this! Anna your list is great! I have a list too i just wish it wasnt on paper i need to make it real. Cathy dont stop everyday is a new day! i fight it too. Oh Millie 7 weeks? that is soooo coool. I want just one week. its raining here and pretty dark. great day for a holiday it fits my mood. someone said weeks ago dont quit quitting! you people give me hope!!!!
This is the only reason I've come back. I don't deserve to be here. I'm an embarrassment to myself, the wife and all of you who woke up without a hangover. I had such a promising week. Enough is enough. This morning was so full of promises. The afternoon was a failure. In fact, anybody posting new posts that need to use the word failure, substitute it with Peter.
Originally Posted by carol
7 weeks....WOOT WOOT!!! Congratulations Millie, Casey, Marianna - amazing!! You should be so proud of yourselves....o.k...for all the newbies...let's hear your words of wisdom on how you did it and how you are feeling!! (I sound like an AA meeting lol) Seriously though - what was your turning point? do you remember? Mine was just reaching that point where I was so tired of the amount of energy it took to keep on drinking - the anxiety, fear, pity parties, hiding it, planning, switching up liquor stores, lies, regrets, well you get my drift - so much eneregy and effort - for what? to embarass myself one more time? - I was drained - no more!!