How to stop drinking

[rosella]

Bdog, I'm on day 16 and I'm still drinking heaps of water. It's a wonder my body isn't shrivelled after all the alcohol I've consumed in my lifetime! I'm trying to get in the habit of drinking as much water as I can just to flush out all the poison I've put in.
Peter, I had a look at the footage on youtube. Very funny although sadly so real. We haven't forgotton about you- just waiting on your return. Hope all's going well.
I had a potential client call yesterday and ask me to come around for a wine and a look at their garden (I do some garden design). I immediately said no. I feel I have to avoid getting myself in to that situation but I can't run from it forever. Alcohol is so firmly entrenched into our culture and in every social situation that it's hard to escape it. I can't tell people if I have 1 it will lead to 20!! It seems an innocent suggestion to sit down and have a wine, so sad I can't stop at one. I don't know why, for me, it's so awkward to ask for a water or lemonade or something else non alcoholic. I'll have to work out some strategies. Today we have Father's day here (my brothers are coming down and quite like a drink) and this afternoon we have drinks at work for a guy that's leaving. A battle lies ahead. I'll stay strong.
Good luck for today everyone.

[peterpinot]

Stay STRONG Rosella. You can do it! I need your success story si I CAN do it. I need ALL your success stories.

[Samantha]

bdog how are you doing tonight? I was reading your last few posts. Maybe instead of stressing so much about the week end, just focus on today. Dont worry about not drinking over the next few days and just focus on the day you are on. Everyday you get sober you will get stronger. At least thats been my experience. The alcoholic in me kept getting weaker as I was able to learn to say no.

Rosella congrats on day 16. You will see people post that they ordered non alcoholic drinks and were surprised that everyone drinking around them didnt notice or didnt care. I have experienced that too. Its a real relief. Look at Ruth's old posts too as she was in Greece with alcohol constantly around her. She is a real inspiration.

Peter we havent forgotten about you. How are you doing?

Nicolelee how are you doing? We havent heard from you in awhile.

Connor your doing awesome. 34 days is amazing. Stick with it and it will get better. Everyone has their own time frame of recovery but we all slowly move forward. You have been through alot and it just takes time to get better physically and mentally. But as long as your not drinking, like I am not, life is moving in the right direction for us.

[Regina]

I screwed up tonight and drank. I was invited to a wonderful french restaurant and everyone else was drinking the wine so I went along with it. Somehow, I don't feel as bad as I have in the past. This is a journey and I am committed to it. I had 2 glasses of wine and that was it. A far cry from the 2 bottles I would have had in the past. I am NOT giving up.

[rosella]

I managed to get through today without a drink with people drinking all around me. I should be feeling proud of myself but instead I'm feeling very flat. The feelings I'm feeling now are the ones that I would drown out with alcohol. It's almost a feeling of loneliness even though I have so many people around me. Maybe even alienation. Just needed to vent how I'm feeling to someone. You guys are like my counsellors-the listening ears I need. Thanks for being there. I've just got to get through the next few hours.

[Mairianna10]

Regina, you did well not to have any more. I dont think I could have managed to stop at 2.

Hi Peter, havent forgotten you, hope you're OK. I'm feeling like Rosella, really flat and quite sad. Going to church in a wee while then might go for a walk as its a nice day.

I met a friend yesterday with her son. It was 11am and she smelled really strongly of drink, bloodshot eyes, was struggling to make conversation. Was I like that? She really had no idea how drunk she was. She had either had a very heavy night or she had already had a drink that day. I'm not judging, I wanted to give her a hug but I couldnt say anything. I imagined how I would have felt if someone had said anything to me when I was in the same situation. Feel I should have done something but only I benefited in that her situation made me more determined to not go back there.

[rosella]

Hope you're feeling better now Mairianna. I think we have to do what we can to get us through those trying times. I picked some flowers, took the kids for a walk down the beach and did what I could to improve my mood. The main thing is that I got through without resorting to the bottle. Kids are in bed now and I'll be following them shortly. We're all going to have our difficult patches and sometimes it's going to be a rough ride but we don't want to be a slave to alcohol anymore. Life has so much to offer and with a clear head we can enjoy it all.

[Sally]

A big shout out to Ruth - WOOT WOOT - 90 days - AMAZING!! You are my hero - I bow down to you (LOL)... I am following in your footsteps - thank you for leading the way!

And to all of you - keep up the good work you are doing great. We CAN do this together :]

[bdog]

thak you everyone. keep writing


Rosella, marriana10, Regina, SAlley, Peterpoint, Samantha, please keep writing!

im ok but not doing good. please keep writing. Patrick anything? bdog.

[Ruth]

Thanks, Sally! I can't believe that I would be leading the way for anyone, I still feel like a newbie Rosella, good for you for not bending when the addictive voice called your name! I want to say a word about emotions... first of all, for me, alcohol WAS my best friend, the company I wasn't finding elsewhere... when my husband was holed up in his office and I felt neglected, I would drink and feel like I had my nice cozy blanket around me. So, now that I have gotten rid of alcohol, I have all of those uncomfortable feelings to actually feel. No fun. The other thing I wanted to say is that the addictive voice is very clever. When you start feeling sorry for yourself, or lonely, or whatever your own unpleasant feeling is, stop for a moment. Wait and let the feeling pass, because if it is telling you to drink alcohol, it is the addictive voice. My tools are 1) drinking plenty of water and other N/A beverages and 2) a journal I wrote (short) with all of the stupid things written down in it that I did under the influence. When you remind yourself that you piled the kids in the car and said you were fine when you were blind drunk, that is pretty convincing evidence that it is time to give it up.

Anyway, I will say that although the addictive voice sometimes pushes on me to just see if I can handle moderation, you and I know that moderation will certainly lead, sooner or later, to drunk as a skunk. And the more you learn about the way alcohol affects the brain and body, the more you will be convinced that moderation, though a nice idea, is not an option for most of us. And you are not the exception!

[Regina]

I just wanted to check in with you all. It is day 1 for me but this time, it feels different. I feel a sense of genuine commitment. I no longer am going to allow alcohol to control me and destroy my life. I feel so many feelings right now; sadness, loneliness, fear but I understand now that the alcohol has only made those feelings worse. I know facing life without the alcohol will not be easy but alcohol stopped "working" a long time ago and life with alcohol had become difficult and painful.

They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Today is the first step.....

[Sally]

Good for you Regina - you can do it!!! Hang tough - baby steps - this too shall pass mantra :] Don't let the addictive voice get you back into that cycle - today is the day!!

[Regina]

Thank you Sally. I feel that way too. In the past, I would focus on what a failure and a loser I am and it would set me up to drink again. I am not saying I feel great about myself today :-) but I want to move forward and not remain a prisoner to the past which I cannot change. I have so many regrets about my drinking and choices I have made in the past but I can't change what has already happened. I have wasted a lot of the "present" wallowing in my feelings about things that are over and done with - things I have no power over to change.
I don't want to repeat the past but I don't want to live there anymore either....

[Regina]

Thank you Juliet!!

[peterpinot]

Good for you Regina! Let's hope this attitude sticks in All of our minds (me the worst offender). There are so many of you that deserve much credit...even if day 1 again. Good luck to us ALL.

[anna]

I just wanted to check in with you all. It is day 1 for me but this time, it feels different. I feel a sense of genuine commitment. I no longer am going to allow alcohol to control me and destroy my life. I feel so many feelings right now; sadness, loneliness, fear but I understand now that the alcohol has only made those feelings worse. I know facing life without the alcohol will not be easy but alcohol stopped "working" a long time ago and life with alcohol had become difficult and painful.

They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Today is the first step.....

Hi Regina. I'm glad that I saw your post. I want to start quitting today, too. I'm still feeling hungover from last night. I'm tired of making a fool of myself, and I'm putting a lot of strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. His mom used to be an alcoholic so I know that makes it even harder on him. That is the main reason I want to quit. I made a list. I've been justifying my drinking to myself for a long time. I always think that I'll quit when I'm older or if it gets really bad or that I could simply drink less. Well, it's really bad. I think I just need to quit outright since I obviously can't limit myself to just a couple drinks. I'm only 24, but I've been drinking for over 10 years, heavily for the last year or two. I don't know how many relationships I've ruined.

Here is my list.

• Stop hurting relationships
• Stay out of trouble (DUI, etc.)
• Save money
• Be healthier and skinnier
• Feel better about myself
• Get a good job
• Remember more things
• Stop smoking and doing other drugs even once in a while
• Be less depressed (eventually)
• Sleep better
• Stop hurting myself (mentally and physically, intentionally and on accident)
• Get sick less often
• Miss less work
• Be less embarrassed, guilty feeling, sad, etc.
• Create less waste for the environment

Some of them are kind of overlapping, but I just wanted to write things down as I thought of them. I wasn't sure where else to start because simply wanting to quit hasn't been enough for me in the past. I hope that putting this out there will help, too.

[Regina]

Thank you Peter. We can all do this together.

Welcome Anna! I love your list. I can relate to so much of it. I so wish I choose sobriety when I was 24 but I won't get into regret...... :-)

This is a wonderful forum with so much support and no judgments. Keep posting. It is the early evening and the time I would normally start drinking. I have no urge to drink (today!) and I truly believe not drinking will allow me to create a happier and more productive future.

I am thinking about everybody on this wonderful forum and hope you are all getting through the weekend happy and sober.

[anna]

Thanks Regina. I'm trying to keep the thought that a drink would really help this hangover out of my head. I know that's only temporary.

I want to have a talk with my boyfriend when he gets home from work and let him know what I'm trying to do. I think he will be supportive. He drinks sometimes but has way more control over it than I do. I think seeing what it did to his mom helps him stay in control.

Labor Day tomorrow is going to be hard! And it's his sister's 21st birthday. Oh boy.

[anna]

What is this Patrick's recovery plan that I've seen mentioned a couple times?

[carol]

anna, welcome. Patrick has so many great articles in the archives on the spiritual river home page, but here is one of my favorites: how to stop drinking.
http://www.spiritualriver.com/stop-drinking/

By the way, bdog, this is where Patrick has some words of wisdom for each of us, whenever we want to go read them. They are invaluable.

Regina, like Julliet said, I love the energy and good vibes!

Peter, no time like the present!

Sam, how did your weekend and hugging that baby go?

Happy sober Sunday, y'all!