Wow carol, just read your last post. An impressive roundup. We do have great folks on this forum, whether on day zero or 300. I know I couldn't have made it this far without all of your support.
Eric, welcome. This forum has helped me tremendously. I've never been to aa. Don't think I would like it. I truly believe it is not the only way. We all get the chance to give and receive support on here.
As FYI, we've started an exercise challenge under water cooler, if you are interested. The challenge has really helped me take my mind off the alcohol.
Last edited by Millie; 08-24-2011 at 09:03 PM.
Welcome Eric-AA meetings are not for everyone, so don't feel bad. I have gone to two of them and had to get a little buzzed for the last one, how pathetic! Think that was the only reason I had the courage to go, it really got me no where.
There are alot of really great people making great progress by being on this forum, just stick with it. I am on 75 days tomorrow being a drinker of non alcoholic beverages! It wasn't till this I started posting on this forum that I have been able to go this long in 25 years.
I think all of us would score that high on the AA quiz, so you are in the right place with the right people.
Carol-Wow, very impressive keeping in tune with everyones progress and your encouragement. It is everyone on the forum that should be proud that we have all taken steps forward in living the GREAT life of sobriety.
Thanks to all for the support on here, without all of you I would not be this far!
Patrick, Thanks is not enough and you do triple rock!
First of all I want to say that this forum is a great thing and everyone on here is wonderful. Reading others struggles helps as well as being supportive and encouraging each other, the main reason I joined here is because I felt that I was not alone in my struggles here. Thanks for sharing, guys!
Peter - try to pick yourself up and remember your plan you had in mind last week, I think taking action will help give you control over the drinking. I know it isn't easy, but we are here for you whatever happens.
Welcome to Eric!
Thanks, Carol! Everyone else good to hear from you today and I hope today finds you well.
Mairianna - you struck a chord with me when you were talking about if something happened to the kids while you were drinking and they had to go to the hospital! How horrible that would be, I have thought about that many times when I woke up in the morning not even remembering how or when I went to bed! My hubby was probably drinking too so if we are both wasted what could have happened if the kids got sick or hurt! I always made sure the kids were OK through my drunkeness but still, not a good thing.
Day 19 today and I am actually feeling more focused and a little more energetic, more relaxed and less anxious. Now time to start a daily exercise regime, I am feeling very positive and wanting to start some more good habits in addition to the "habit" of being a NON drinker! I will have to join the exercise challenge. I am sorta feeling like I am on a "high", but I am trying not to walk with my head in the clouds and stay grounded. I have just wanted this for so long, 19 days is a good start but still a short time, so I am really invested in the one day at time philosophy.
Well, time to get some sleep, busy day tomorrow
Well, start of Day 38. Meeting a friend for lunch then a bit of work around the house. Start my course on the 12th so a couple of weeks to put everything in order so that I can concentrate on getting through it. Hope the fog lifts in time.
Welcome to the forum Eric. All I can tell you is that joining this forum on 19 July gave me the motivation to change and I have been sober for nearly 6 weeks for the first time in 8 years, give or take the odd day. Put down your experiences here and we can try to help you reach sobriety. When I started that day I could never have imagined being without my best friend (alcohol) for a week, never mind almost 6 weeks. With the help of the good people here I know I will add more weeks.
For those feeling low, tired, I am too, but at least we dont have that awful taste in our mouths, we're not hungover, we know what we did last night, we are richer, financially and in terms of our families/lives. I'm feeling a bit more content but wish I had some energy, could hardly do the basics yesterday. We need to persevere though and from others' experience we will come through it.
So many great posts. I don't know where to start! Yes, welcome Eric! I've never made it to an AA meeting. Found out times and locations but never managed to get there. This is the only place where I've admitted to the full extent of my problem. I'm toward the end of day 6 and today has been an incredible challenge. I've craved for a wine all day- they come in waves and amazingly I've managed to keep them at bay. Here in Australia they have a method of quitting smoking using the 3 Ds. Delay, Deep breathe, Drink water and Do something else. It helped me today so I thought I'd share it. It's so inspiring to see those of you that have come so far. When I had a few cravings today I thought of you and that helped me through also, so thankyou. So glad I didn't give in today.
Good morning gang,
Lots of great posts again and I enjoy reading them all as always. I really think this community is making sobriety a little easier for me as I feel like I am not alone on this journey this time around.
Carol - Thanks for your very insightful and timely words, it definitely helps as yesterday was one heck of a mental rollercoaster ride ! And congrats on 3.5 months sober that is so inspiring.
I have never made it past 90 days but I am very determined this time to break through that barrier. In the meantime, it's day 29 and I will make sure I stay alcohol free today.
Hang in there everybody and let's all make it an alcohol free day.
Good on you Vic for getting so close to 30 days. I'm excited about being at 1 week tomorrow, can't imagine how you feel!! It is amazing how this forum has helped me and to share the ride with others.
As I said earlier, today was such a struggle. But once I had cooked dinner, gone for a walk with my girls and sat on the couch for a cuddle and some TV, I was so happy that I hadn't had a drink. All that energy wasted on an internal fight basically all afternoon with myself about whether or not to go and buy some wine. It's so crazy what we do to ourselves. So Carol, thankyou for your advise on not thinking too far ahead. Even 30 days seems so far away. I'll just, for now, get through tomorrow.
I just wanted to say YOU ARE ALL SO AWESOME!!!
Cathy, wow does this sound familiar!! I did this with my mom and she lashed out the same way. I got 3 of us 4 adult kids together (the other one couldn't face it) to beg her to do something other than what she was doing, and since I was the only one who had spoken up previously, she knew it was me behind it. I still remember it - she was on the hospital bed, about to have her first toe amputated, living by herself, couldn't drive, no income, and couldn't keep the utilities on, and she STILL would have rather had it her way. She actually literally pointed at me and said she knew I was the one behind all this. "You rallied my family against me." I freakin' AM your family, lady! LOL Man, I loved her.
Originally Posted by Cathy
It really means the world to me when you guys recognize what the drinking does to your kids and take action to change it!! They are totally worth all the effort you put in and one day, tomorrow or years down the road, they will thank you for being completely there for them!
Have a wonderful day, everyone, I'm honored to be your cheerleader!!
Oh, and welcome, Eric!
PS, Erin, you rock, too! Your perspective of a child of an alcoholic who tried so hard to save her mother is invaluable, and your centeredness in the face of such an upbringing is amazing. Thank you for being here!
Great posts - as usual! It is good to see Julliet back and posting. I think that I understand where you are at Julliet - I'm starting a new job next week, and as Carol said it is all the same triggers for me, both private (tired, anxious, feeling not-good-enough) and social.
I've got a big paper to finish and I'm off to England next week (hi Marianne!) for the conference. Last time I saw this particular group of friends-colleagues I was deep into my very-bad-horrible-nogood drinking days, at that point I had not finished my paper before the conference, spent every night of the conference drinking, wrote it while plastered and then got up and gave a somewhat (surprisingly) successful paper, that was also totally insane. Everyone who read the edited/corrected version later was like 'phew'. This time I need to be professional, on my game and get everything done before I arrive and NOT drink while I am there. That will be difficult as this is a hard-drinking group, but I think I can pull it off.
Okay, now I'm trying to get work done and the "lovely" undergrad I happen to live under has just turned on the music really really loud. Noise cancelling earphones will be on the list I think for September.
And I want to second Carol's woo-hoo to Erin - your perspective as a child of an alcoholic and your willingness to share the trajectory of your mother's illness has been very inspiring. Really, thank you for your insight!
Awwww!!!! You guys are so great. I would reach through the screen and hug you all if I could!! LOL Honestly, I finally get the "sharing helps you heal" part, and I feel like telling my story helps me to let go of bad feelings, learn from my experience, and move forward. If it helps someone else in the process, that's really, really cool!! Your acceptance really means a lot to me!
Oh my........this is the first time I've popped in today. Picking corn, beans, tomatoes, etc....for 2 days non-stop!! Just hauled a load down to our local "helping hands" folks so it will go to good use.
I see my comment to a new fellow what misunderstood. In no way was it meant as a bash. I have a bad habit of thinking about my own screw ups and was careless with my words. Because of taking tests and trying to build up courage.....I honestly was thinking he was probably a 20 something young fellow who was just seeing the evil brew for what it really was. Many apologies for my bad choice of words!
Erin......the further out I get from day one....the less dangerous the threat "seems" to me. I was thinking of all the horrible, embarrasing experiences while intoxicated, and maybe the benefit of sharing some of it! You know....try to keep it fresh in my mind how awful it's been.
Day 6 =)
Oh, god. Had to share this one - one of my Facebook friends (from high school - when I never ever ever drank, at all) posted one of those stupid 'fill in your friends to fit the scenario' joke things. This one was - 7 of your friends at a stripper club. I was assigned 'drunk in the corner'. Sigh. She isn't wrong, but it is a bit terrifying to think that even though she has never seen me drink that she could intuit my 'natural inclination'. And I have to say that over the years I've been incredibly careful not to post anything about over indulgence or talk about my drinking on that forum as it is both friend-friends and colleague-friends on there.
It's funny, but also just sad. I certainly do not want to live up to expectations, at least those expectations.
Bill and others - I'm not on the official exercise challenge, but am back to my normal workout and walking everywhere and trying to lose weight and stay mentally focused. I find that when I look good / feel physically good then I'm less prone to need booze to boost my flagging self-image. Stay sober!
Hi everyone- it is so hopeful and healing to read all of your posts- even the struggles. It took a long time for each of us to get here, and a lot of booze under the bridge. It is hard to change the habits of a lifetime, and it is natural to miss the parts that felt good. I think that what we are all realizing is that the trade-off is no longer worth it. I wrote a poem once (before I was ready to quit) and I wish I could find it. I think I must have hidden it behind the couch or something, because it was too truthful and transparent, and god-forbid my husband should read it and see that I was struggling! It was really just a long comparison of my relationship with alcohol with that bad-boy boyfriend that you just can't leave, and keep hopping back into the sack with for "just one more time". Too true!
Anyway, I have a few thoughts about quitting, and AA- I am on day 80 (or so- I lost track), and while I know that in many ways I am still a newbie, I managed this huge change with the help of this forum and one other. I firmly believe that there are many ways to quit, that AA is not necessary, but that SOME kind of interpersonal support is imperative. The one and only most important step is the DECISION not to drink. I had to make that decision anew each morning, and sometimes several times a day. Peter, never wish you had the strength- you DO have the strength, and each time you tell yourself you don't it is an excuse to fail (not to be overly harsh, but there it is). I told myself every day for years that I should quit, but I had never made the decision. Then it just hit me, and I made the decision.
Anyway, this is not easy, or fun some of the time, and we feel crappy, and anxious and everything else, but, after all those years of poisoning ourselves it will take time to relearn how to live, and for our bodies to heal from all that abuse. OK, I will now step down from my soap box!
Thanks for sharing your knowledge Ruth. I was wondering if you get to the stage you stop counting the days sober. Glad to see you're in a place where you've lost track.
I've made a whole 7 days!!!! And managed to get through my notoriously difficult Friday night. Had to fight with myself this afternoon but managed to get through. So happy about that. Looking forward to a sober weekend.
Thank you everyone for your support. Millie it has been a bad week and more to come. Had to attend a funeral, get shaken up by an earthquake and then make up lost time at work. But it didn't stop me from poisioning myself as usual. Now we are bracing for a hurricane. The news says it could be the most destructive storm to hit our area in decades. This has to be the worst time for someone to change their lifestyle. I know - excuses. I've been making them for years but I promise to try.