How to stop drinking

[Kristin]

Hi everybody. I have been on "staycation" and took a much needed break from my computer while I took some time off. I am happy to report that today I am 25 days alcohol free!!!!! That is pretty hard for me to believe. But I am just trying to focus on the present day while looking ahead to how my life will be better in the future. I feel like I am getting out of the "mourning for my old routine" phase. For 25 days, I have been not drinking so I feel like I have gotten out of the need to feel like it is weird not to have that afterwork drink that I was so accustomed to or the Friday night happy hour. But it is definitely taking a lot. The smell is what gets me. Its also getting accustomed to not asking for a sip of my partners drink, etc. That used to be so automatic for me, and now, I sometimes have to actively think about those things. I feel less emotional and anxious than I did previously. I do feel like my home life is becoming increasingly stable, so that is good. No drama and yelling everyday and I feel like I am taking better care of myself and our home. I still have a lot of work to do, but it's a start and a step in the right direction. So, I'm gonna keep on faking it till I make it. I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY. I wish you all the best and thanks for your continued support. Have a great day!

[Millie]

Kathy and Kristen, congratulations on your many days sober. Very inspiring. Keep reporting in on the benefits (and challenges) of staying sober. Your stories are very helpful. So far, not drinking has not been difficult, but as time passes, I know I will start and try and convince myself that I really didn't have problem and can drink again. I have always "feared" that life will be "dull" without a drink or 5. The success stories and the relapse stories on here both help keep me on the right path. I will not drink no matter what.

[casey]

Wow! I just returned from visiting family for the weekend and I can't believe the posts. Dragonfly and Trish, I hate hearing what has happened to you but don't let those jerks destroy all of you. Just look at the support you have from members of this site.
Samantha and kjbp, congratulations on 90(+) days! That's amazing and inspirational to us all.
I made it through my weekend totally sober while in the company of people drinking. Even went to a Pub and had tea. I feel real good. After today, I will be at non-drinker day 7.
Congratulations to everyone on whatever day you are on. I have had a "day 1" many times. Never give up. As I have been told by members of this site "it does get better."

[Millie]

Samantha,
Congrats to you too for your many days as nondrinker. I didn't mean to leave you off earlier post! Have you reached 90 yet? I am finally ready to break the cycle of drinking too much. Similar to many others, I have been a binge drinker. Unlike "normal" folks, I don't have the trigger that tells most people they need to stop drinking. I would just keep drinking until the alcohol ran out or I passed out. Not always..sometimes, I could control drinking, but I could never know in advance whether I would be able to control it or not.

[Millie]

I also know that I never drank for the "taste," but for the effects, so even if it were possible, just having a drink or two doesn't appeal to me. Not worth the risk or calories.

[nicolelee]

Hi everybody, so it has been 3 days since i got buzzed on the beach and decided I was gonna drink more that night too, I was too tired and feeling anxiety to get wasted, we barbecued for my husbands cousin's bday after the beach and a couple friends came over, I ate and ended up laying on the couch reading diaries of an alcoholic housewife! Went to bed early. I feel like what a waste to have to reset to day one, oh well, I did get buzzed. I hate feeling like I need to drink to have fun, I find myself looking at my kids and remembering when I was a kid and enjoying things for the pure experience, I want that back! I feel better physically just not being tired and hungover, dizzy and nauseous on the weekends/next day but that urge is still there, I guess it will just take time to dissipate. I am getting a kindle and was looking into good books on sobriety/inspiration/spirituality/etc..., if anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them.

My heart goes out to those of you who are going through exceptionally rough patches, hang in there and know that ultimately through your pain and healing you can help others through your experiences.

[Kristin]

Ok, so I went back and read some old posts. Dragonfly & Trish, oh how sorry I am to see these things happen to you both. I don't think that I would have found the strength not to drink in those situations. I wish you both the best of luck in terms of your sobriety and figuring out what you are going to do with your respective situations. Please keep posting. Everyone is so supportive and everyone helps everybody by sharing their experiences. Take care, both of you.

[carol]

DragonflyF15, don't ever feel like you can't post because you're bringing us down. If we were all happy, happy, glad, glad all the time we wouldn't be drinking and wouldn't need this forum. It's great, and it's essential, to applaud and celebrate the successes of our friends. But it is equally important that this is a safe place to share sorrows, frustrations, bad days, days we gave in or gave up, days we're just hanging on by threads, you name it. Because this is a place we can be real, we can tell the truth, and we can be accepted for who we really are not who we pretend to be. And sometimes that's just raw and ugly and that's the way it is. You've just been dealt a really rotten hand. I can be a real Pollyanna at times and try to find the good in things. There's only one good thing I can find in this for you. You have had the experience of freedom from alcohol for a time. You started seeing the not-so-great aspects of your beloved partner. Now he has just put it in your face what a consummate jerk he can be. You reverted to what we have ALL - every single one of us on this forum except Erin so far as I know - have done, you tried to drown your very real sorrows in drink. Except now you know it doesn't work, and you know that you CAN be alcohol-free, and that will give you strength. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make this all go away for you. I can't and it's a real gut punch. But I know that you can again find that part of you that wants to be alcohol-free and let her shine! And that's the one good thing I can find in this.

Use us. You can vent. You can tell us you're drinking to numb the pain (and have us remind you it doesn't work and that's not what you really want). You don't have to be happy. How could you be?

Stay with us. You've given us so much with your posts. Let us give back to you.

[carol]

Erin, I don't know that I've said anything to you but I read your posts and have found them thoughtful and wise beyond your years. What a gift you are giving us by having grown up in an alcoholic family without taking up the family curse (i.e., you don't drink), and then by cheering us on as we struggle to be non-drinkers. Thank you so much. I hope you are doing OK with your situation with your husband gone for awhile for his job and taking care of your child.

[Millie]

Well said Carol!!! Dragonfly let us know how you are doing!!!!!

[Regina]

My husband had a bottle of wine when I got home today and I drank it. I think I should also stop posting. I feel like a failure.

[Regina]

I have been reading through the posts and the articles. I really don't want to give up. I want to get sober. I want to get better. Reading other people's words on this site has given me hope. Thank you. I messed up today but tomorrow will be Day 1 for me.

[Regina]

Thank you so much Sylvane. Your post means more to me than you could know. :-)

[Regina]

I am thinking about you Dragonfly. I hope you are ok....

[Ryan]

Day 10 for me. Stressful day at work. Massive headache at the end of the day. Handful of Advil, and I'm good to go. Just have to remember: Don't ever get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

What concerned me a little today, perhaps, is that it started to feel too easy, like I'd forget throughout the day that -- hey, I'm in recovery and should take this more seriously. The reason that might be important to me is that I don't want to get back to the spot where I start to feel like a night out would do me some good. It wouldn't. I've been down that rabbit hole before.

[Patrick Meninga]

Regina, I would love to see you "stick and stay" in these forums. What is your "new moon magic" gonna be? (Sylvane is right on the money of course). What is your positive energy source?

For me it is running. Outdoors. Long and hard. For an hour at a time or even more. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. But always running.....that is my moon magic. That was the big change I made for myself back in the day.....

I need for you to find your positive energy source, Regina, and keep coming here to this board and sharing your journey with us.....

[Kim]

Just catching up ... Trish and DragonFly...please check in with us...we all care so much about you .... We are all in this together. You will prevail...one day at a time.

Congrats to all of you on your successes. I am on day 7. a small feat but I feel really great. god bless you all and special blessings on Dragonfly and Trish.....hugs....kim

[Christy]

Just catching up to all of this too. Trish and Dragonfly, I had a similar situation in the past, cheating, lying and such. You have to focus on yourself and your recovery. I know how difficult all this to take in because its so new, but trust me in time when you get on track with getting on, things get much better. I have been in your shoes some years ago. Yes, it was hard not eating and feeling like you weren't good enough or something, but you are. Get your lives back on track with you first! In time you will look back and wonder how you got through it, but trust me you will. I found the love of my life now and I would never look back.

Regina-the reason you are here is that you have the desire to stop drinking. That is the first step. We have all been there with many slip us, just don't give up. Tomorrow is another day. You are not a failure, so stick with us all in this.

[Mairianna10]

Well Day 9 and I am amazed how strong I feel. Seem to be sleeping pretty well, my skin looks better, my liver must be in shock!

My husband comes off shift today and he will be drinking but I must resist. He usually says "och just have one" and there was a day long ago when that would be all I would had but I cant just have one (or 10) anymore.

My daughter was with a friend all day yesterday and I picked her up at 8pm and stayed chatting for another hour. Usually of an evening I'd have arranged to pick her up around 5 so that I could start on the drink. All the time as I was having a cup of tea with the other parents my mind was working overtime, like I was involved in two conversations. What struck me was here was this family working away in their garden at 8pm, bit of telly, no alcohol being drunk or offered, nice chat, and I'm thinking "where have I been?!" I'm not saying that it could have been that really they were itching for me to go so they could start drinking, because we all hide it so well, but no they were definitely not drinkers, at least not every day like I was.

I know its early days for me but life is becoming gradually so different (better different) because I'm off the stuff. I was so on edge all the time, angry with parents who might phone and say "your daughter can just stay for tea, come for her at 8.30pm or thereabouts" and I used to think "what is wrong with these people?" but that's how selfish it makes you. You and your drink come first.

Well done to Samantha and Kathy on Day 91, what must that be like? Keep going everyone else who is adding another day today. Thinking of Dragonfly and Trish, hope they come back for support to this forum. Regina, keep going, you can do it!

Thanks guys

[Millie]

Ok, so I looked up moon magic. I read that there is no need to wait until this weekend for the new moon, because the waning moon is a good time to get rid of negative energies, bad relationships, addictions, and bad habits. So, today is a good day to start working on some "moon magic.". Patrick, I cannot imagine running for an hour or so, or, frankly, even walking in this heat, but I plan to come up with something to help get me shape and give me positive energy.