How to stop drinking

[kjbp]

Got it! I look forward to helping!

[kjbp]

Casey and Shelly, sorry I missed your posts yesterday. It's nice to see you here and I wish you strength for today with whatever is on your schedule. Shelly, hope you slept better last night. I find it takes me a few days to level out (all the way around) after I've relapsed. As others have said, just remember how good you feel when you get past the initial shock your body is going through. That good feeling gets stronger and more pronounced each time I've come back. So keep going!

Casey, yes, my tastes buds have twanged on occassion. When ate at a fast food Chinese spot last weekend and I couldn't eat the pot stickers. They tasted weird to me - like Grappa! My husband thought they tasted fine, but I didn't want the taste in my mouth for fear it might do something like cause a relapse (didn't need the fast food calorie anyway!). Sometimes smells will trigger something to. I just try to really identify with what the true source is with visualization and mentally taking whatever it is apart in my mind (if that makes sense).

Wishing all a beautiful day. Go slow and very purposefully about things. Look forward to seeing update today!

[kjbp]

Patrick, spam moderation is working for me. Sam, Sylvane, when you click "physically remove" it asked me to re-enter my password. I used the same one I use to log in here and it worked. Also, I tried out the private message feature to you Sam and Sylvane. Not sure if it notifies you you have a message, but thought I'd see how it works...

[Samantha]

Hi everyone. Thanks so much to sylvane, kjbp and Sam for moderating. Im glad everyone is enjoying the spring weather. Sylvane ive never been to socal let alone california but would love to some day. Im in the northeast and its cold here at times. Im doing like all of you lots of vitamins, moderate exercise, rest. But today i was very cranky. Hoping its not a permanent trend. Sigh. I am pretty certain its still withdrawal of some kind. I just keep focuing on rest so im less cranky. Nite to everyone. Hi to Carol and Mary too.

[Mary]

Hi everyone,
I've been drinking again this week. Not a lot, but a couple of drinks each night. I know I shouldn't, but it's just so hard to stay away completely. I know I'm kidding myself thinking I can control it, and eventually I'm going to overdo it again, but my will power just isn't strong enough.
Justin, how are you? I hope you are doing better.
Carole? haven't seen you in here lately.
Thanks Sam, Samantha and kjbp for cleaning up the spam.
I am in the Southeastern US.
Take care everyone. I am rooting for you, even if I'm not doing so well.

[Samantha]

Hi Mary, tomorrow will be a new day to try again! I know you can do it because you have been sober before. Maybe just set a goal just for tomorrow you wont drink and see how you feel? Im here if you want to email as i am on the east time too or email in am .

[Unregistered-Shelly]

I have made it to Day 3 as a non-drinker! I am still having trouble sleeping, but greatly appreciate the suggestions shared by others. The northeast weather today was cold and rainy, making it difficult to get outside and exercise. However, I did go for a walk with my dog after work, instead of participating in "happy hour" at home. The craving for a glass of cold chardonnay is intense, however I must remind myself that one is never enough for me. The so called "happy hour" I experience usually transitions into the horror hour at the end of the night(anger,sadness,vomiting,blackouts). So why do I still crave a drink???? Thanks again for listening and sharing your own personal struggles. Group Hug to all!

[gettingalife]

Hey everyone, starting to feel really good. Next week will be 90 days sober and the obsession to drink is really leaving, what a relief. Just got back from a meeting about acceptance. I really can see that accepting that drinking is not a solution to anything for me has been a big key. Accepting people the way they are is another big factor. Just really focusing on the good in people and life brings incredible happiness. I am so grateful to God for restoring my mental and physical health. There is nothing life feeling calm and in control.

[Patrick Meninga]

Mary, hang in there, I would love to see you come back tomorrow and tell us that you have 24 hours sober.

Samantha, I would be honored if you would want to step up and help us to moderate the forum as well. Just let me know. No biggie (but every bit helps!)

Everyone: I just published an article for anyone who is struggling with relapse. I think it is really excellent stuff, and I wrote it because of our new forum here. Seeing the struggles here is what prompted me to write it. Hope it helps!

[Unregistered]

Thank you Sam, kjbp and Sylvane for volunteering to become moderators.
kjbp, what you said does make sense about stopping to mentally identify the source of the phantom odor or taste..thanks. I also have smells that trigger thoughts of alcohol. Mary, please hang in there and I hope you have a good day tomorrow.

[Samantha]

Hi Patrick i would be glad to help in any way as this forum is so helpful. Thank you so much for all you have done. Im looking forward to reading the article you wrote too.

[Samantha]

Hi gettingalife! Congrats on the soon to be 90 days. Thats an amazing accomplishment and many more to come im sure! Your comments on your last post were very helpful to me. I am only 11 days sober but am enjoying the calm as you said above. No chaos or drama or hungover or forgetful. Just a little cranky today! Could be worse. Every time i romanticize drinking i remind myself i cant drink. I dont want the nightmare of trying to get off. Sometimes i can get off in a few days but mostly it takes months. I dont want to struggle like that anymore.

[Patrick Meninga]

OK Samantha I got you signed up for the anti-spam team now. You are officially a moderator of the forums here.

Thank you for being willing to help out.

[Mary]

Patrick, All I can say is "wow." I'm still trying to digest everything you said in your latest article. How did you get inside my head?! I think for me the hard part is making the firm decision. I can't bring myself to say I'll never drink again. But then that depresses me and I feel like giving up, like there is no point in even trying. So I'm going back to the old "take one day at a time." I will not drink today. I can stick to that. That is a decision I can live with. I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. But today I will not drink.

I don't know if that makes sense to anybody else, but it is helping me!

[Patrick Meninga]

@ Mary - Keep us posted on your progress, Mary. The day at a time philosophy helps a lot of people, but I have an alternative for you if it does not work out.

But I would encourage you to try to make it work ODAAT (one day at a time). If not, let us know here, and I will tell you my alternative idea.

Good luck, I am very much excited for you to make it to 24 hours sober!

[carol]

Hi to everyone. Sylvane, Sam, kjbp, Samantha, thank you so much for being moderators and helping with the spam!! It really makes a difference.

Patrick, good thought-provoking article. Until about 6 years ago I was a drinking every day, falling down, passing out, etc. etc. drunk, with the consequences to go along with it, and had been for over 20 years. I felt like if I kept going I would die, but I still drank. I didn't think I could even go one day without drinking without withdrawal symptoms, but my husband convinced me I would live, so I did go without drinking for a day and did live through the experience. But that didn't really change anything. I kept drinking.

One day I quit. I stopped drinking. (How is another story but since it didn't stick in the long run I'm not sure it's worth telling.) I didn't drink for about 3 months, then had "just one" and started down the slippery slope "just one" at a time. By two years later I was drinking just about every day again. Still, I did have 2 years where I almost drank like a "normal" casual drinker before proceeding back into the abyss.

Since then periodically I would stop for a day or two or a week or two and then start again. I fit the profile for your new article to a T!

The thing about quitting when you are in absolute agony and living with the alcohol devil every waking minute and the after effects during the minutes you're not drinking, is that it's quite vivid. The reasons are right there in front of your nose. If you can truly get out then, there is power behind it.

When you're not drinking every day, there's the illusion that you can control it, that you're making progress. See, I'm not drinking every day. The horrible consequences aren't there every moment. So it's easy to romanticize about the "good times". Even though the reality is like Patrick said elsewhere on the web: "it was a rare moment when I could find the right level of toxicity where I could even claim to be “happy” in my drunken stupor."

So the "zero tolerance policy" about remembering the "good times", actually about romanticizing the "good times" since in reality they probably weren't very good after all, seems spot on. For me, this goes along with my observation that taking a drink starts with a thought. This "zero tolerance" idea might be the thing that helps keep me from acting on the thought.

I've rambled enough for now. I'm not drinking. I need to decide if I've made a firm decision. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

But Patrick, don't tease us. If not ODAAT, then what? Creative recovery, eh? Thanks!

[Sally]

Great article - definitely what I needed at this moment in time. It has been a rough week. Thank you for the insight and words of wisdom.

[kjbp]

Patrick I just read your article and want to thank you for the time and thought you put into it. There are several points that resonate with me. I have bookmarked it so I can read and remind myself of all you've said.

[Samantha]

Hi everyone and thanks for sharing. Patrick thanks for the article. I have not been able to read it but will look tonight. Sally Im sorry you had a rough week and i hope your ok. I have the count your blessings pot. Adding a dollar a day. And gratitude! Thanks for the idea. Sam tomorrow like Mary will be a new day. The one thing that is different for me this time around is im just ticked off. Or as they say sick and tired of being sick and tired. No matter how sad i get thinking i cant drink normal and want to give up and cave i think its clicked this time it doesnt matter what i think. I cant drink anymore. It consumes me once i start. Im ignorning every lame thought in my brain that says i can drink and telling myself to basically shut up lol and dont think and just dont drink. In my heart i hope in awhile it will get better and i will get to the point i wont want to drink not just that i cant drink. Because im scared and ive been doing this bs routine of drink then stop then drink way too long. And i think i follow addictive behavior as the cycles grow closer together and more intense. So every day for now rest vitamins some exercise and i dont pay an ounce of attention to the drunk telling me its ok to drink.

[casey]

Thank you Patrick. I just had the chance to read through your article and found it helpful.