How to stop drinking

[jillianUK]

Hi all, thank you for the direction onto the main thread and thank you all for responding to my initial post. Day 4 and just got over a few ropey hours, had to go to a store and all i could think off was getting a bottle of wine and how well i had done for the past 3 days. its funny as i could think of any excuse to allow me to drink, Iv had a rough day so i deserve a drink , Iv had a good day and all is well in the world therfore i deserve a drink, Im not sure if i have a problem yet, therefore I can have a drink and so on and so.
I didnt get a bottle and now that Im home for the night I know that I wont, however its all i can think about and this is really tough. Im already starting to think about tomorrow night and how i will manage.
My witching hours are between 5 and 8pm, normally past 8pm iv cracked it for the night.
On the plus side this is the first time this year I have gone 4 days without drinking -

[Kayla]

Hello everyone! I just wanted to say hello and give a little background on my story. My name is Kayla and I joined this site on Sunday. For the past few days I have been reading the articles as well as the blogs to familiarize myself with everyone and how Spiritual River works. For the past 3 months or so I would say it has been weighing really heavy on my heart to go sober. I can't describe why because I really do not have a drinking problem. I have never had a "serious" moment if you will when I knew I had to quit drinking. The things that bother me the most about myself when I drink is that I smoke cigarettes ( or become the "I only smoke when I drink" type person) which normally, in everyday life I never smoke and that really bothers me. Waking up with a cigarette hang over is the worst. Especially when I wake up on the weekends and want to go to Yoga but can't because my head is pounding and I have a smokers hangover. I also do not like the person I become with the things I say and act when I am drinking. Since reading everyone's stories on this website I feel bad even sharing mine because I have never done drugs, I have never had a DUI, nor have I ever drove drunk so maybe this exact thread is not the right one for me, I don't know yet. I also get very upset by my families actions when they drink. My step dad fell into a bonfire last year and burned his left hand extremely bad as well as drove home drunk while he was under the influence and if he would of gotten a DUI it would of completely ruined his career. My step dad is a wonderful person and would of never made that decision if he was sober. The more and more I go through life ( I am 24 years old ) and the more I see loved ones and friends make awful decisions due to drinking, really makes me never want to pick up a glass of wine ever again. Most recently, a girl I grew up and went to school with, her brother who was 19 years old drove home from a bar completely drunk, crashed his car into a bridge, was ejected from the car and pronounced brain dead at the scene. Her family had to make the decision to take him off of life support. Hearing those types of stories and seeing those things affect me so negatively. For whatever reason the challenge of going sober has been on my heart for a long time and I have decided to follow the challenge. It was so nice stumbling onto this website because society makes it seem that no one is sober and that everyone drinks. I was shocked to see how many members there are with this website and how many people around the world actually are sober. So today is day three for me and it has been going great. It is tempting to come home after a 10 hour day at work and open a glass of wine and sit on the couch and watch the History Channel but so far I haven't. I am doing this challenge with my twin sister too so it helps to have a person to lean on. I can't wait til the 30 day mark comes with being sober and be able to see all of the positive changes that have occurred in my life. I definitely will not miss the smokers hangovers, pounding headaches, not remembering how I went to bed the night before, what was said or how I acted. I know I will be really excited to not have missed a Yoga workout because every morning when I wake up I will feel wonderful. So, that is just a brief rundown of why I am here. I look forward to getting to know everyone and hear your stories. Hope everyone is having a wonderful Halloween!

[Sheri]

Hi everyone...not sure at all how/where to begin. I have been reading so many posts and so many articles from the main page, feeling overwhelmed. Also extremely grateful for having found this site and for all of you for sharing your stories. I see all the support that you give each other and I know that's what I really need. To actually be admitting (even anonymously) what a huge uncontrollable problem I have is a giant step for me. I was married to an alcoholic for 10 years (hs sweetheart), had 2 kids then he left me and joined the army to try to get better... Now have been remarried for 7 yrs and another child. I rarely drank when I was with my ex, but have been drinking heavily now for at least 5 years. I didn't even realize how co-dependent I was until about a year ago through therapy, still am with current husband who does not drink... I have been trying to solve so many underlying issues while I continue to drink. Thinking that if I solved those problems the drinking would not be a problem anymore. Now I realize that I cannot solve anything while I continue to drink. It is scary to have my "medication" taken away. So I haven't drank for one whole day, actually almost 36 hrs. I have to find the right way to cope with stress/anxiety/sadness/irritability or I will never get better!!! I am thinking this is a good place to start. Thanks for listening.

[carol]

Kayla, yes you are welcome on this thread! You are so smart to want to stop drinking while it is annoying and before it becomes a big problem to you. It helps a lot to have a buddy, so it's great to have your sister quitting with you. Yes, you'll read a lot of stories here which won't relate to your own experience, but serve as cautionary tales (really, if I kept drinking THAT could happen? No thank you.)

Drinking alcohol is so pervasive is our society that being a non-drinker can sound like being boring, but it isn't, it's really being alive. And luckily there are more and more celebrity types who are abstinent, usually because they hit bottom, but at least it's getting to be more OK. Isn't it sad that something which causes so much trouble for so many people is more OK than not imbibing it?

Please let us know how it goes for you. There are a lot of threads to peruse. You might enjoy the "3 reasons I'm not drinking today" one; I can't remember if it's in this section or the water cooler, but have a look around.

Jillian, that was my witching hour as well. It's impressive you were in the store and didn't buy anything! I didn't go to the store after noon for probably a month or more.

Hi John and everyone. More later. Have a happy and sober day.

[jillianUK]

Hi carol and John, thank you for your words.
Hi Sheri - Im new also having only joined yesterday but finding it cathartic being able to just talk and admit the struggle, its a big weight off actually - however I was struggling earlier but feeling OK now.
May ask Carol what does the freedom day mean under your name, Iv seen it a few times

[Kayla]

Carol and TimUK, thank you for your responses. Carol, I really liked what you said "Drinking alcohol is so pervasive is our society that being a non-drinker can sound like being boring, but it isn't, it's really being alive. And luckily there are more and more celebrity types who are abstinent, usually because they hit bottom, but at least it's getting to be more OK. Isn't it sad that something which causes so much trouble for so many people is more OK than not imbibing it?" That is so true. And TimUK "Anyways, we are all here for different reasons and some want different results, but all of us have issues with alcohol in one way or another." I couldn't agree with you more! Hello to @ JillianUK, @Sherri, @John, @ww43 and @WillJ. Look forward to sharing more stories with you all.

[nitsirk]

Hello everyone; welcome new people! It is exciting to see so many posts here--lovin' it!

Life is still wonderful in nitsirk-land! I have great days at work now because I have no hangovers and I don't spend any time at all planning my next drunk-fest, so I am more focused, I have greater self-esteem, and my rapport with my co-workers has blossomed into some really fun times! I am kinder and gentler, less judgmental, more accepting of both people and situations, and generally a lot more fun to be with.

I never knew life was so full of joy and fascination. I am so grateful to have finally gotten to this place.

[ww43.]

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[carol]

Ah, Halloween. John, yes, imagine that! I am so happy for you. Instead of 134 days and "now what?" and a possible return to "why not?" and drinking, you have committed yourself to freedom, and that is oh so much better! Congratulations. I posted how I'm doing on the 30, 60, 90 day thread. Bottom line, very well!

Millie, I'm looking forward to your report on how it went being the "hostess with the mostest".

So many milestones! Tim, congrats on 2 months, yep, months! Julie, congrats on one month, and Beth on a month and a half! Woo hoo! Kimber, I feel like it's been 6 months or more for you but have lost track - amazing, eh? And congratulations to those chalking up 3 and 4 days and a week and nitsirk almost 2 weeks. Every one of those early days is a huge gold star - so hard, and so worth it.

I loved counting days, then weeks, then months. Then it was a little hard to figure out, although it helped that my first day sober was Mother's Day 2011, so I could always go back to that. That's my freedom day, freedom from alcohol.

So many folks I haven't said hi to personally, but I read and appreciate your posts, so please accept a humble "hi" and good wishes.

Happy Halloween!

[Millie]

John, wow. Congrats to you on the Halloween challenge. Well done. I also agree with Carol. We may need to thank that crazy girl Sherry for tripping you up along the way as I think she has prevented you from partaking in today's punches and jumping down the rabbit hole. By the way, your success on the Halloween challenge finally convinced me I could do it too. . Today is day 57 for me thanks to you.

Jillian and Kayla and Sheri welcome. I am thrilled that you have decided to take control over your life now and get rid of the alcohol. I wish I had done it years ago. You will see all kinds of stories on here. Many of us didn't hit "bottom" in the jail, job loss, DUI, major life tragedy caused by alcohol sense, but just came to the realization that alcohol was a problem in our life. I used to worry that perhaps my problem with alcohol wasn't "bad" enough for this forum and that perhaps I really didn't even have a problem etc. I've become convinced I truly did/do have a problem and am now just thankful I've come to this realization BEFORE something dreadful happened. I am sure if I kept down my current course it would have.... Alcohol is a progressive disease..it only gets worse.

Carol, my hosting duties have been postponed a week, but I will report in. I survived Halloween tonight by drinking a n/a beer and had a good time. Fortunately, my munchkin was able to enjoy it as his sickness turned out to an ear infection and he is already feeling better after day on antibiotics. Tim, your nonalcoholic cider sounds yummy. I wonder if it is available here across the pond. I hope you Start feeling better soon, too.

Good night all. I am very grateful for all of you. You really have enriched my life, sight unseen.

Kimber, I hope you are still doing well.

[nitsirk]

Good morning to all!

On this start of Day 12, I am doing well. I got back into cleaning my house and made huge progress last night. It was all so overwhelming before, but now I see that it is just a process of stringing together baby steps. I seem to be able to calmly accept then rationally deal with any little challenges that present themselves to me. What a concept! Who knew life didn't have to be steeped in drama?

I have to go to work shortly, so have a great day! Let's all keep moving forward! Feel the love.

[Beth]

Morning of day 47 of my 107 day commitment. How nice it is to really want to give myself this present. I never want anything, I never deserve anything, I am too lazy or selfish to do anything nice for me..... I am feeling good about giving myself this gift and also about receiving it. The work I will put into giving this gift to me is going to be the nicest thing I have ever done for myself and knowing that makes receiving this gift truly the sweetest gift I have ever gotten.

Millie, you sound so good! Congrats! Nitsirk, you are recognizing all the good in sobriety! Congrats on staying the course.

Welcome JillianUK, Kayla, Sheri! Can you imagine that you are freeing yourself from the evils of alcohol? Alcohol is bad, bad, bad......seriously, nothing good can ever come from this poison.......it is so useless in so many ways....stay the course, believe in yourself, and know you are not giving up ANYTHING! You are giving yourself EVERYTHING in being sober....great for you!

Janny and Mel, hope you are well....you can do this not only for yourself but your loved ones too......uncomfortable sometimes but it is manageable.

Just a note.....tomorrow marks sixty days left till the end of 2012. Carol, I am starting to like counting the days.....in the beginning it was so hard to get through but now it is refreshing to know alcohol is not in my system....another day sober...Hurray!......still singing ......WEEEEE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER! It squashes my AV every time

[Kayla]

Good morning everyone! Still going strong without some wine which is great. I feel as though my body is starting to detox because I don't know the last time I have went four days without some alcohol. My throat is really starting to hurt and my body in a sense is just all around tired. Did anyone go through this when they started their journey of going sober? Today is essentially Friday for me, ( I work four 12 hour days ) so I am excited to experience my first sober weekend. Hope everyone has a great day!

[ww43.]

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[jillianUK]

hi all,
thank you tim for your story and thank you for the heads up on my AV, makes perfect sense.
Day 5 and today has been hard, been thinking abuut a drink more so than usual during the day, normally dont start til about 5pm, but all day at work was thinking about it. Feeling quite flat today which doesnt help and im aware that the weekend is going to be busy of socialising and to be honest, not sure how il be. at the moment feeling negative and as though im going to cave in.
Traditionally Iv been a heavy drinker when all is well in my life, sounds back to front I know but when Iv been worried about something or upset I tend not to drink, I thinks its due to the anxiety I get when Im stressed, I cant face either drink or food. However when life is going Ok, its as if i have been given permission to drink and nothing will go wrong. But right here and now I feel flat.

[Kip]

hi friends...

Kayla, Jillian, welcome to the forum... it is inspiring and nice to meet some new friends here.....

Tim, sorry if you didn't understand my situation... I'm a little quiet about my situation but basically i try to string together a solid week but cannot get myself oriented right on weekends..... however today being 1 Nov and with two months left in the year, i entertain this notion of stringing together 60 days, well 61, and go into 2013 strong and confident... hope you're sleeping off that cold as i scribble here in the bright sunny SC "mountains"...

ww43, i am spot on with you in regards to the drinking at home thing. i'm fine to go home and be sober. it's the reception and a neighbor artist's house tomorrow nite, woofstock dog/beer party on saturday, F1 Austin party in a few weeks... all of that stuff built around the framework of alcohol. i know i want to be free of this demon, but can't quite figure out how.

sage advice John... flatness describes the feeling on the 2nd or 3rd days, of which i've had many of late. but it feels good to go home sober, eat a nice meal, soak in the tub, and read a good book. then night is calm and there's no morning regret as i do a long run... now why can't i just do that every day....

speaking of.. about to do just that.

[Mairianna10]

So many posts, forum is buzzing just now. Welcome Jillian, Kayla and Sheri. I've been here a while and have had periods of 3 months, 1 month, the odd week here and there. Day 12 (I wont say this time) and my second weekend looming but even though I have a night out tomorrow feeling fine about it. I wont be miserable but I know I will be glad to get home. One day I will have one of these nights and actually enjoy it like I think I always did drunk. No word yet on blood results so that must be a good sign. Not an excuse to fall of the wagon though, must always remember the fear I felt when I was recalled for more tests.

I started on 21 October nitsirk but with the time difference we seem to both be on the same day - actually you're a day ahead! Hope we ride this thing together like my start day buddy Millie and I did last year. Of course I slipped around 100 days but I feel alot calmer and more in control this time. Seem to be able to rationalise and talk down my AV, picking up strategies from you guys.

I feel a big clear out coming for my house soon. So satisfying.

Nite all - and please dont drink.

[Millie]

Mairianna,
You and nitsirk can do it together, but don't forget your old buddy. Lol. I am still in this game with you. I may be a little ahead of you two, since I am on day 58, but in the long run that won't matter. I feel calmer this time, too. I think with all my starts and stops, I've realized sober is the better course. Doesn't make it easy, though. Last year, you made it to 100 days or so after I deserted you around day 70. As I approach day 70 again, I am am starting to get nervous. I guess what I am trying to say with all this rambling, is we are all still in this together, regardless of the number of days.. We are all one bad decision away from a slip.

[nitsirk]

True, Millie, in the long run, it won't matter. I am just so pleased to be able to share this journey with everybody here. This is a great place to be. Sobriety is the greatest gift I have ever given myself, and I deeply cherish it as my most precious "possession."

[Mairianna10]

Hey Millie, Day 58, that's fantastic, you're doing it. Of course we're in this together just seems at the moment I'm so far away from where you are, where I was, I'm a Day counter, keeps me disciplined. Was it Day 70 you slipped? Well I will be here to get you to 70 and way beyond buddy. Nervous is good. Nite x