How to stop drinking

[clint]

I just registered and these are the first few threads I've read. I'm actually kind of excited to have fallen upon this site! I like the way it's set up an I appreciate the honesty of all I've read. I know that we all need to be honest with ourselves if we're going to ever have any chance to overcome the addiction demon! I'm 54 years old and have been drinking all of my life since I was in my mid-teens, mostly beer. Last five or six years I've graduated to vodka and it's becoming such a downer on my life. I want freedom from it. I'm a Christian, love the Lord and know He loves me. I'm tired of feeling terrible for most of the "day after", only to hit it again when feeling better later in the day. I keep a half-gallon in my desk at home and limit my drinking to about 8 shots a day or maybe a little less. However day in and day out of doing this for so long is taking it's toll. I'm also putting myself in a dangerous position as I am on medications that advise against alcohol use. I usually wake up at about 2am with my heart pounding fairly rapidly then I drink a bunch of water and it backs off until I can get back to sleep. I know that's probably dehydration.

I've been married for 27 years and have two grown kids 21 and 19 and have a decently good marriage. Tried AA once and it just wasn't for me. Was sober for a month and I celebrated with a glass of wine and then guess what, back on the vodka in less than a week! I lke Midwest Sue's post and I'm going to try real hard today to not have any alcohol. I have been successful for one or two days at a time every so often and man do I feel good! I look forward to communicating with whoever wants to, but please keep in mind I'm not always on the computer. But at the same time I think perhaps I should check in daily on this site as I know this is serious stuff and some sort of commitment is needed on my part if I'm going to be successful....

[Kip]

meant to send Friday....but got delayed. good day all.. beatiful autumn here in the southern appalachians.. drove up above 5000' yesterday.. ahh.....

Tim, I'm pulling for you, man. i know it must be tough.. any exercise will help you, even if it's just a walk outside.. i know, the weather in the UK can keep one huddled up indoors but it will help you even if it's only 20 minutes... i really like the slow and mindful stuff. btw, your sense of humor is awesome.. kind of reminds me of my Kiwi friends... oh... please don't take offense...none intended...lol.... I'm a bit of an Anglophile (and Japanophile - must be an island thing...) especially as regards cars and "Top Gear", the best tv show in the world! finally, your "do you miss alcohol" notes were spot on....

Mel, I am totally with you... sitting here in my office reading, reading... making it 3-4 days then fail. not really interested in AA - idealogy doesn't work, when i read the book it seems kind of old-fashioned talking about women, etc... that annoys me.. and with that just can't focus on the good things... but i might have found a group that is so demographically different from me that all i could learn was how bad it could get. i also am seeking guidance on the high-functioning alcoholic. there's a great book by the same title that a very loving uncle of mine gave me before he passed away in 2010. he got it, unlike the others i'm related to. oh, and your comments about having more of a relationship with alcohol than the people we drink with - definitely.

Marianna, as you can see you have a big support group here.. helping you helps all of us... it's a virtuous circle.... hang in there and keep posting..

John, great song.... it hits at the heart of the problem and hey, even made me like a country music song! the clicking part that you mention is on my mind constantly.. i can feel that there is a click but it resides somewhere just out of reach. as i tell my wife, the awareness is a good step and i'm quite sure none of my friends have a record of their drinking every day this year with intent to do it for the rest of their lives...

november, nitsirk, welcome to the forum. this is a great family of people trying their hearts out...

morgan, welcome back.... i'm with you on this... i do plenty of day 1s quietly, just trying to find the click in my mentality that takes me beyond 3-5 days...

going home sober today....

[clint]

The important fact is that you're back! Our problem is unique to each of us and not everything works for everybody. We all stumble, but the important thing is that we get don't give up! Feeling beaten is why I joined! I want out of this mess! I'm so very glad you're here and you're reaching out! Communication is so very important as it's how we support each other! Today is my day one and hopefully I'll make it through....

[Midwest Sue]

Clint,
Welcome! I encourage you to come back here each day. We will look forward to your posts! Congratulations on taking the first step and deciding that you need to stop the madness.

[clint]

Thank you Sue! This is kind of like an online version of AA, but without the steps. I don't knock the 12 steps at all, they're vital for many. My older brother has been sober for about 30 years now thanks to AA and his commitment to it for the time he was with it. I like to pick up my AA book and read the stories of how AA changed people's lives, you know, read of their journeys through their own eyes.
I've known I've had to stop the madness for a couple of years now and I hope that I will continue with this site. Thanks again for your recognizing me Sue!

[clint]

Thanks John! I'll pour it out again when I get home from the office. I have some flavored carbonated water to enjoy the baseball game with tonight, don't want to go for the Gilby's!

[Greg]

Welcome Clint! I'll be 49 this week and like you I've drank for a long time. I just had blood work done and my liver count was high and I'm bot surprised after so much beer. My meds are not to be mixed with alcohol but I didn't care. I just wanted to be numb and forget about all my problems too. After just a month of soberity and seeing a therapist and this forum, I'm starting to deal with issues that would once trigger me to drink. I believe that with time, our bodies will begin to heal and our spirit will heal as we seek forgiveness from those we've harmed with our addiction. I've been married 21 years now and we are having a couples therapy session next week to discuss my progress and where we still need to work on our marriage. Like so many of you, I couldn't do this without the loving support of my wife, family, friends and church family. Praises to all who fight this fight!

[hope]

welcome Clint and Greg - this is a great place for support. Morgan - how are you doing? If we can get through the toughest hours, we can get through anything - so white-knuckle it and do whatever it takes to silence the beast

[Millie]

Well said Sue,
I am glad to see old friends returning and some new faces.

Just don't drink today!

I am heading off to first work related offsite meeting sober. It reminds me of unpickled's post of her first "sober convention". I'll let you know what it is like.

[Beth]

Evening of day 37 of my 107 day commitment. How nice it is to really want to give myself this present. I never want anything, I never deserve anything, I am too lazy or selfish to do anything nice for me..... I am feeling good about giving myself this gift and also about receiving it. The work I will put into giving this gift to me is going to be the nicest thing I have ever done for myself and knowing that makes receiving this gift truly the sweetest gift I have ever gotten.

Sitting here in my thoughts of 37.....quietly racking them up...yes Tim. Unbelievable how the days always come and that is one more sober day for me.....but I stay in the moment, not looking back or forward......this sober thing is nice.....everyday things I thought or felt are gone.....like the racing in my head, the skin I scratch obsessively, the pain everywhere....they slowly went away....I thought once I made it a few days....detoxed.....then that was how I would continue to feel but no.....everyday something seems different. Good.

This week I am off to two business dinners with customers that know the drinking me......I am a little nervous but not scared.....I will show them the coherent me....I know how to "fake" comfortable and make people feel good so I got this.....

My commitment to giving me sobriety for the rest of 2012 is much to precious.... So this week I will put my money where my month is......but will bring along my anti-anxiety meds just in case

[nitsirk]

Hi Everyone!

I made it through Day 2. It was tough coming home from work and wishing I could drink myself into oblivion. I was extremely exhausted for some reason; never had that on previous detoxes. So I just rested and read and studied my new meditation course I ordered. Then I was re-energized enough to get my evening duties done. It felt good to do them sober.

Then I meditated for 20 minutes, and I felt just fabulous! My insightful therapist recommended that I try meditation, and the effect on my depression and tendency to drink has been phenomenal! I am completely consumed with practicing and studying meditation; it really is meeting my particular needs at this time. I was always skeptical about it, but after giving it a go for a few weeks, I am a total convert. I recommend it to everyone, especially those with anxiety, depression, and, of course, alcoholism.

Well, good night, all. Thanks for the support and keep strong!

[nitsirk]

http://wildmind.org

This is a great website on meditation; it will teach you everything you need to know to get started. Enjoy!

[Midwest Sue]

nitsirk,
congratulations on day 2 and thank you for the meditation info! Great advice.

[serenty]

Hi everyone
I haven't posted in a while but I read most every day. Had some nice stretches of sobriety with some slips mixed in but finally starting to realize that feeling good feels pretty good! And feeling bad feels pretty bad! Sounds elementary to non addicts of alcohol, but I am sure you all understand. I think Tim said "I like to look in the mirror and see sober" Amen. I don't like to look in the mirror when I wake up and realize I blew another stretch of going without my poison! But Ihave definitely discovered that beating myself up doesn't work. And thinking god hates me doesn't work. Thinking what others will think doesn't help me either. For me what seems to work is moving forward to a better life no matter what. I love this group.
For me, AA has been a great help but I did have to remember they are not perfect LOL ( i am hahahaha) somethings at meetings bug, but i found two gals that i hang with. So thank you all for this wonderful support group!
Much love,
k serenty

[Millie]

Tim, you crack me up drinking 5 or 6 n/a in a row. I agree that is probably much better for you than sucking down that much soda or coffee.

I drink n/a beer now and then, too ( but it has up to .5 alcohol), but i can nurse ONE bottle all night and still not finish it. This is someone who was drinking at least 3 or 4 or more glasses of wine a night. i've discovered that i am having trouble drinking enough liquids now and feel dehydrated. I need to force myself. So,at end of day, all that hoppy n/a brew is probably doing you and your complexion a world of good.

I need to check out the meditation sites you and nitirk are recommending.
John, somehow, I don't think you were sucking down the warm vodka for the taste. . No need to find n/a version of that. Lol

Have a good day folks. I am all for meeting one day somewhere for mineral water and celery, but i'd like some wings to be added to that, too, or if we meet across the pond some good fish and chips. Lol

[nitsirk]

This is so fun to check in and see how everyone is doing! Sadly, I am the slowest typist in the world, so long and thoughtful posts in response to all of yours are out of the question! Anyway, just know that I am thinking about each and every one of you, and hoping for the best for you.

Beginning of Day 3. I am doing very well; healthy and happy! I meditated again this morning, and it started out my day on a balanced and peaceful note.

Unfortunately, I need to rush off to work now. I would like a few days off to read this thread, read my book, meditate, and hang with the dogs. No such luck!

Have a wonderful day, everybody. May you be successful in all your aims!

[andipenoza]

Congrats on your Day 2 nitsirk, just keep it up and be strong to fight against temptation. I am quite curios on how you meditate that it seems very effective.

[Beth]

Morning of day 38 of my 107 day commitment. How nice it is to really want to give myself this present. I never want anything, I never deserve anything, I am too lazy or selfish to do anything nice for me..... I am feeling good about giving myself this gift and also about receiving it. The work I will put into giving this gift to me is going to be the nicest thing I have ever done for myself and knowing that makes receiving this gift truly the sweetest gift I have ever gotten.

Millie, Funny you fixed your post yesterday......I almost asked if you were drinking I think it said "din't drunk today" hahaha made me laugh

Nitsirk, you are an early riser! I think that's a benefit......just remember that at night when you're tired,rest. I felt so lazy when my body started shutting down so early at night.... Drinking would give me a little kick to stay up. But then I would have to drink till I passed out......listen to your body and go to sleep because that's probably what you need. Also remember HALT (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired) before reaching for a drink during those witching hours.

I used to say "I don't drink alcohol, I just drink beer" in reference to spirits....hahaha, people would look at me so confused because typically I would be pretty drunk when saying it. I too steered away from the hard stuff after almost having my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning after drinking almost a bottle of Seagram 7.

Thank you for the meditation links.... I need to start practicing daily. I am also signed up for the 21 day Meditation that starts next month on Deepak Chopras website.

[Beth]

Oh and I too am feeling pretty dehydrated too... I think it's the change in climate....I'm starting to add those little Kool Aid packets to my water. I get the sugar free ones....they are cheap (at the discount stores, generic brands) and go down quite easily.

[Millie]

Beth,
I laughed over my post too when I re-read it. My typing on phone or iPad is terrible. It is always a surprise what actually gets posted. Usually gooblygook of some sort.