day 11 is in the books. what a brilliant sunday. bring on the beginning of a new week!
day 11 is in the books. what a brilliant sunday. bring on the beginning of a new week!
[QUOTE= [B] I am also thinking about other people....bdog, JeffR, ToddE, Morgan, JamesG, and others were here not long ago and now I don't see them. I always wonder when people drop off whether they started drinking again or they stopped drinking completely and stopped needing to post on here.[/[/B]QUOTE]
John, I'm here lurking about...after going close to six months I fell off my bike plus had two flat tires to repair so it has taken me awhile to get back on...but I am back on!
Really, Really felt disappointed in myself and felt I let this board down by giving in to the urge that in the end haunted me for weeks before leading up to caving in.
Anyway, I used the time on and off the bike as a learning process. Total abstinence is my calling. One or two just doesn't work.
I don't want to make it sound like slipping is something I am taken lightly or make it a reason someone else might think it's OK. IT"S NOT... my trigger was being obsessed with the image of a dark beer in a glass and sitting down enjoying it.
I know now that it is a deceiving image and hopefully I will be better prepared going forward.
One day at a time!
Kimber, what can you learn from this? Why would you feel "less than" when there was no connection with a shallow person?I could tell right away he was shallow and all about his ego, money and material belongings. He brought me back to my car and we both agreed that it wasn't there. Left me feeling like "less than" and I hate that feeling.
I love the image of you walking in the rain! you're facing painful times with courage and resolve. Hang in there!
James, good to have you back. I keep bike tools with me and will be happy to share. Just keep your eye on the road ahead. Glance at the rear view mirror but don't make it your focus or you'll crash again.
Sue
Im Here James G. Was in Canada on business and of course I let things go. And Have not been able to get back on the bike. Yet. Frustrating but Im not quitting. Sometimes little things like changes in the weather really set me back. I will not quit quitting.
Bdog
Wasnt to bad John. Until I get back. Its funny. the times I thing are going to be bad are not, its before or after. strange thing about drinking. It hits you when your not looking like a "Bully"
I had a "coming to Jesus meeting" with myself today. I am not productive when I drink. I lose too many wonderful memories when I drink.
I went on a hike with my family today hungover. I am tired of this crap!! I want freedom! My husband and kids don't deserve my drinking. I like myself too much to keep doing this.
God and my friends here....I am gonna need all y'all's strength for me to help myself.
Hi everyone.. I have not posted in a while, but I am still here rooting for everyone. I am on day 92 stopped drinking April 1st I love being sober and reading all your posts really helps me. I sometimes wonder if I will slip up bit I think (and Hope) that after so many years of abuse I am done. I try not to make a big thing about it to my family never really talk about it. If my mom or sister say they are they are really proud of me I change the subject really quick to my quitting smoking which is 2 months on the 7. Don't know why I don't like talking about not drinking maybe that will come in time. I do know I would not have done it without all if you, maybe that is also why I don't post a lot, if I don't talk about it. It is not a problem?. I am around it all the time I serve it every night for a living.. Has anyone else noticed how many new vodka flavers there are out there now, lol... I'm like damn I picked the wrong time to quit.. Vodka was always my drink..lol.. This will be my first summer not drinking.. So many more people drink in the summer or are going out for drinks, spent the weekend with a few friends who drank a lot, didn't bother my that much, but their smoking cigs did more go figure...I am going to try to post more..happy 4th everyone..independence day, let's all celebrate ours sober.. Xoxi
Kimmy, first congratulations on that! I also wonder what is the proper balance between quitting and staying focused on the drinking. I think we can set ourselves up for failure by focusing on lives to much on the struggle not to drink. Granted, the first few months are extremely difficult, but once you establish a new habit it may be better to move on with your life. I am no expert, this is just a question I pose for myself. About the new flavors, that is how marketing works. I have never found a new flavor or brand that changed my life. In fact, they have never even been special - just marketing. I always went back to the same brand and my life was never changed because of it. Forget about the new brand or flavors, it is just another voice trying to get you to drink. Congrats again.
Day 12 in the books. Have begun Day 13. Think today is going to be a challenge. Feel a bit down. Just have to say to myself that I'm not going to drink today. One day at a time.
wlinser! I have something that might make you happy! I am only on day 3, so look at how far ahead on the road to a better life you are. I can't wait to make to day 13 and you are already there. Hoooorah for you
hi Friends,
Today is gonna be a LONG day. It is noon and I am still in my pajamas....feeling like a slug. I am crouchy and gittery and my stomach is upset. I am mad at myself, frustrated, sad, disappointed, anxious at the idea that I may fail again.
I am sure I am terribly dehydrated as we hiked for hours straight up a mountain. The only thing I am proud of is that I didn't disappoint my family yesterday and had an awesome dispite feeling like crap.
I just want to sit and cry for a while. After that I am going to keep reading a new book that I just started today called Sober for Good: New solutions for drinking problems-advice from those who have succeeded. Everyone featured in the book has been sober for a minimum of 5 years. I think I need to inspiration...especially today.
wlinser, maybe we can struggle through this day together in order to log in your Day 13. I will keep you (especially) in my thoughts and prayers today!
Thanks, John! Tomorrow will be better when I get plenty of fluids and I feel better physically and take my dog for a walk. Your nice words made to quit crying atleast.
hi all.....
Kimmy, awesome amazing. 92-days sober is a huge inspiration and you deserve all kinds of congrats... all of you who have put days under your belts and tell the rest of us about it are such a help. It just seems like it takes time for the checkered flag to drop on drinking and the green flag to fall on sobriety. Interesting how everybody has to reach their own point.
Noel, it's ok, just pick yourself up and hydrate . i feel for you when i read your story. i went to the mountains in NC last weekend for inspiration and it only worked for a while. Like John says, just go green. I hope you can stay strong tomorrow... I hope we all can...
bdog, the bike waits patiently for all of us.. may need to oil the chain and add a bit of air but it's there. i hope we can start pushing the pedals again..
Kimber, your journey inspires and the details give me an appreciation for how you are checking off each day... and your rain walker story is great. That is kind of a massive change thing, wouldn't you say..? I'm reading Steve Jobs' bio now and it's interesting how he pushed against the world so hard. He had plenty of enemies but lots of them were status quoers who just couldn't handle his intensity. Doesn't seem he was much of a drinker although he did play the drug game for a bit.. The point is, defying convention can often land us in a new view of reality. Walking in the rain is one way to do it..very cool..!
Sally, thanks for the insight. Yes, it's just crazy that we face an addiction to something that's so prevalent. It's true that stopping will likely be the hardest thing any of us do... and it's such a personal thing, even a private one, when you really boil it down. When I finally figure it out I will treasure it like nothing else.
John, thanks for your concern. Yes, I'm thinking of that alignment analogy as well...it's that simple but not easy part. And here comes the 4th of July when we have friends over for social stuff. I think the simplicity of it is something I might be overthinking as I seek the perfect alignment. The simple answer is just don't drink... as I tell my wife, others don't even think of this decision unless they're just feeling bad or hungover and don't do the hair of the dog. We are faced with expending energy every day to make the decision. Unless there's a way, as some have mentioned here, to redirect energy and let the habit kind of fall away... I bet if I had a marathon or an auto race everyday I would avoid it.
Oink oink.. forum hogging is finished for now.. gonna scoot home soon... chill for a bit with dogs, plop into a hot bath (sounds crazy when it's hot but it feels good) then finish off Drinking: A love story. This has been an interesting read...
Happy 4th my SR friends...
Great posts! Kimber, one of the quotes I have hanging near my computer that applies to what you said, and I often feel, "There is something beautiful about every emotional state. It's O.K. to feel." don't know who said it - it was one of my horoscopes one day.
Hi Y'all,
Sorry if I hogged the thread today...I needed it! I made it through the day without coming out of my skin.
I even made myself proud. I went to get a mani and pedi today and the salon owner ALWAYS offers my friend and I wine. She took it and I passed. I already had my cranberry juice with sprite and lime slices. I am sure everyone thought I was drinking a vodka and cranberry which was one of my typical drinks as I get my nails done. I told my friend that I promised my husband that I would not drink today so I didn't....end of conversation.
It is 10:30, I am sober and extremely tired. Loved all the posts today...y'all got me through this one!
Noel-Hooray for you today! You were not "hogging" this thread. You did exactly what you needed to do for you today!
I've been thinking about you since your first post today. I know that feeling over a year ago too well. That first few days are living hell. But you made it girl. So proud of you!
I also remember too well how my cat annoyed me the same way. Wanting so much attention and tripping over him all over the house.
Kimmy=92 days! That's great and especially when you serve alcohol for a living like i do. All that new flavored vodka? It's overrated! Cake vodka and such? Really?
It's all a marketing ploy to think that it's really a good thing. Don't let all those ads fool you, you are doing great!
Great job to all on their days of sobriety. It's not easy. For those struggling (aren't we all?, keep working it. Day 13 - check. It's day 14 now. Fell asleep around 9.00pm after a day that definitely improved after a crappy start. Didn't drink - not really tempted. At times, I feel as though it's easier just to go to bed earlier than to stay awake and think about things. The bad bit is that you wake up at odd hours of the night - like now. Have to keep busy and fill my schedule these next few days that I'm not working. Happy Independence Day!
Happy 4th folks. Day 8- start of week two. I am on the coast with friends and family who are drinking morning noon and night. So far, I haven't had any problem sticking with my ginger ale, though. One nice thing about the beach is that there is plenty to do. I think I mainly drink out of bad habit and boredom.
Happy holiday..kinda cool morning here in SC, but another scorcher on the way... Just finished "drinking: a love story"... What a ride that poor woman had...so much to relate to.. The insights are spot on.. So sad that she passed away.
Kimber, the shuddering story is perfect. I can't count how many times I've awaken and panicked running to my garage, wondering if I damaged my car (it's happened, but fortunately minor and no one affected). The shudder was deeply physical and I even shudder now to think of it. Loss of memory is perhaps the most terrifying thing about this illness..
John, thanks for the story..good for you. The stage is set here.. I reluctantly agreed to have a little party here today and have obsessed for 24 hrs on how to make it sober.. Something tells me I can..but the fridge is full and everyone here will be Japanese.. Fairly restrained drinking but drinking nonetheless. My mind has always said I switch to speaking Japanese if if have a few but today I want to challenge that assumption. I'm just sick of the damn stuff. Maybe m fluency will improve...がんばります! So here we go... If I make it you all get the credit.
Wlinser, great job on 13 days! Whoo hoo....
Hey sylvane, good to "see" you here...hope you're well in SoCal...
Noel, no hogging there..do what ya gotta do, as Christy said. My dogs are annoying under my feet like that and my kids are annoying as college adults but I must de-trigger. Crawling out of our skin is a unique alcoholic trait. Maybe it's ok if we can see ourselves objectively and not drink. Hope your 4th is mellow...
I hope all of you have a peaceful and sober day..hang in there friends and let it shine..
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