How to stop drinking

[Ken1]

Break Your Pattern

Here's an idea from Tony Robbins on how to get leverage on yourself and change a behavior. Find a buddy and make a challenge to that person. Promise them know that you will begin a strict regime of total abstinence from alcohol. Further commit to them that if you break your promise, you will eat a whole can of Alpo dog food.

Keep your can in plain view at all times to remind you of your commitment. When you feel an urge, pick up that can and read the label. Such appetizing ingredients as "horse meat chuncks" might help you stick to your goal!

No whimping out either, get the big 14 ounce can!

[john48]

Good Luck Kimber my girl broke up with me because of my drinking, funny i don't want to gain weight but I ate ice cream
too last night and thought the same thing " what every it takes". I made it through the week-end. I went to a party for
my nephew's graduation and there was alot of drinking. I stayed two hours and then left because it was getting to me.
Today is day five and I am going to make it this time, I started seeing a psychiatrist. I hope that helps. I hope everyone
has a sober week.
John

[Noel]

Sue,
Fantastic article. Today is day 2 for me and I wish my memory had served me better on how crappy I felt the first 5 days last time I attempted sobriety. I didn't sleep at all last night, had nightmares, was sweating one minute and cold the next, and I awoke with a terrible headache. I need to remember however painful this is, what I can accomplish without alcohol is SO much better!! Yesterday my husband and I made a list of the benefits of me not drinking. It was a really long list, and the items on the list helped me get through day 1.

Beth and Kip,
Despite feeling yucky this morning, I did walk with my dog!! Beth, the thought of you getting up and me not, guilted me into taking that walk. I guess accountablity/guilt is a good thing.

I have a decorative box in my office that I am putting a penny in for everyday of sobriety. Good luck, y'all, and have a blessed day. May we all get another penny.

[Beth]

Oh Ken, I am so not going to eat dog food (or doughnuts) eventhough some of it would probably be better for me than alcohol. That visual is a very strong one, way to go Tony Robbins. Such an inspiration.
Noel, I am cracking up because this morning I woke up at 5:50, drank some ice cold water but then told myself I need just a cup of coffee before my walk. Drinking that coffee I started thinking that I really didnt want to go for the walk but then I felt bad about telling you I would so I did. Haha talk about guilt and accountabilty!
So buddy we did it and it didnt kill us So tomorrow lets promise eachother again. Here's to healthy ways.....and no dog food

[carol]

John, welcome aboard the sober train! And those who are already on it, even with just a few days, great job!

Kimber, so happy to hear you are making it one day at a time and heeding your inner voice to do it alone. (And Father John's advice from long ago, recently reiterated, no boys for awhile, Kimber!) A suggestion - take a few minutes and write down everything you can think of that you've ever thought of doing. Put it aside and pick it up later and see if there are 1 or 2 things that you could plan to do with and for yourself. Or skip the list and save up for a massage or something else fun! You're right, after a while the house will be clean and you'll need something else to do. Oh, join the 30 day exercise thread is another idea.

Beth, when I read your posts I think of the little train that could: "I think I can, I think I can. . . I knew I could!" Your steady, calm progress is an inspiration.

Speaking of which, liberte, your daily check-ins are just awesome!!!! Keep them coming, please!

Midwest Sue, your posts are always so thoughtful and helpful; I would love to also hear from you on the 60 day + or Ken's new sober thread.

And all y'all, even if I didn't call you out by name, good wishes for a happy and alcohol-free day - freedom is so sweet and it is so worth it! Don't drink today, y'all!

[liberte]

Day 18 done. check.

[Noel]

Beth,
That is hysterical that you and I both thought the same thing this morning and did that walk any way for the same reason. Tomorrow is game on again. I even just got back from another walk with my husband, daughter, and dog. (I am trying to encourage my hubby with weight loss and he is encouraging my on the drinking.)

Kip, hope you will join Beth and I again tomorrow. Anyone else wanna come?

Liberte, awesome job. You keep your check in simple but seem so confident! Keep inspiring us.

Hope everyone else had a great day! I am off to beat my hubby at a game of cards!

[Beth]

Carol, I am that little train - everyday I want to cry - call it fear or confusion or feeling a lack of willpower but I slap myself into reality and say " suck it up buttercup". But no more spoiled little Beth. Too many people are counting on me. I'm counting on me to break the cycle. I need to break the cycle of the childhood I endured. I don't want my children to have the memories I had to endure. Until I started this process I lived in denial but now I know that I have a choice to be the parent I need to be. Through all this I have really learned the lesson that I am not hurting myself but also could do damage to my kids. For that not to happen I must endure my sobriety. But I am definitely reaping the rewards of my sobriety. I can't even explain what you all have done in opening my eyes to the harm I have done. If you would have told me that a year ago I would have completely denied it. Not that I would have been lying to you, I wouldn't have believed it. But sober, I can see and process all this information clearly. So grateful.
Alarm set and ready for my 6 am wake up time. Nighty night folks!

[Kip]

Noel, Beth, good early morning..! Have a 7 a.m. conf call with my colleagues is Japan so it's really early. Of to glide across the pavement for a dark morning run... Good luck to y'all and have a peacefully sober day...

[Sally]

Good morning everyone:] What a beautiful day we are having here in Michigan. Nice sunny weather, cool breezes...life is good!!

You are all doing so good in your journey - I am so proud of all of you for the way you "keep on keeping on". This is truly one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life, but oh so worth it in the long run. It has been just over a year since I joined this forum and like you I have had many ups and downs, but I have never given up. Each fall just reminded me how much I really wanted a life free from the chains of alcohol. Yes, alcohol is the easy path, but one I choose not to take anymore...and with time each and everyone of you will get there too. Don't ever quit quitting!!! I know it is hard, and at times you just feel like giving up, but you can do this.

When I first joined the forum I couldn't make it past 2-3 days, then it was 1 week. Then I kept stonewalling at the 10 day - 2 week mark. After what seemed like months I finally got past 2 weeks and floated into months....of course something major always happened in my life and I resorted back to what I knew best - drinking to drowned it out....fortunately I only let those pity parties last a day, maybe two, and then climbed back in the saddle. It has been a year of ups and downs for me - but there have been more sober days than not - and each time I try I get a little further - and that feels good.

I know this has to be a life time thing, and when you think about it really what's so wrong with spending a life with clarity? Now each day I wake up and count my blessings. My life has become so much better. I am finding inner peace, contentment - learning to love myself and those around me without reservation. It can be done, one step at a time. I remind myself daily that this could be my last day on earth - how do I want to spend it - in a haze beating myself up - or relishing the clear blue skies and all that I have been blessed with? I choose the later.

This is a journey - a chance for us to start fresh - heal, repair the wounds we have caused - live our lives the way they were meant to be - free of the chains of alcohol. There should be no room for romanticing - IT is evil - it has drained us of so much time, which we can never get back...all we have is today, and tomorrow if we are so blessed. I think of you daily and the strength each and everyone of you give me....thank you. And I pray for each of you - you are all such beautiful people doing the best that you can - and that is all that counts in the end.

So keep it up!!! Wake up and count your blessings - you are alive - you don't have a hangover LOL and you have a whole day in front of you to enjoy - so just do it!!

[wlinser]

Thanks so much for all of these messages. They're v. helpful and inspirational. I made it through yesterday w/o a drink - the first time in a very long time. I feel good about it, but I know I need to do it again today. I woke up this morning and declared to myself that I am not going to drink today. I just can't. Thanks again.

[john48]

Hi I am still sober. I am going to make it this time. When I quit smoking I failed a few times too
but I made it. My Mom used to say " If at first you don't succeed, try try again Johnny" I will
succeed this time. I have learned many things that cannot be put into words by my multiple
failures. No more. I am still healthy, I have not hurt anyone with a car yet or ended up
homeless. The whole world is better off if I stay sober, I get reckless and foolish and just
plain stupid. It has to stop now, no more excuses or day ones or poor me I'm an addict crap.
John day 6

[liberte]

Day 19 done. check.

[Midwest Sue]

At this minute I am trapped in a business cocktail hour. Help !
The tonic and lime is ok but there is a lot of good wine here. I'll check in later.

[carol]

At this minute I am trapped in a business cocktail hour. Help !
The tonic and lime is ok but there is a lot of good wine here. I'll check in later.

Sue, cranberry juice and soda works too, although your tonic and lime is good since it looks like a gin and tonic (shudder). I know you'll do well without alcohol and have a story for us later

[Jill]

This is day 1 for me living an alcohol free life. I didn't always drink. Matter of fact I lived the first 38 years of my life healthy eating and daily exercising. 7 years ago I was going through a stressful marriage that eventually lead to a divorce after 22years of marriage. Family and friends were not much help with advice. Matter of fact one family member said find your favorite drink and join the rest of us who deals with stress. I literally took their advice and began drinking. Thinking; get me through the divorce and I will get healthy again; In a short 3 years I lost my marriage, my daughter went to prison for 18 months and I loss both parents 3 month apart due to health complications. 7 years of drinking through any stressful situation, I realize I have given up on how to live through stressful situations and just dumb myself with alcohol. I decided to move from Maryland to Texas to be closer to my grandsons and some family. Thinking if I was around them I wouldn't want to drink as much. I'm realizing to stop drinking is harder than any marathon I have trained for. I'm so happy to have found this forum. I have literally read every post before joining. The one post about "How an eskimo kills a seal" really stands out in my mind. I literally cut myself trying to open a bottle of wine last night, and never felt the cut, which required 5 stitches. I've cried all morning because I'm afraid I can't live life without a drink. I need you alls support. Thank you all for your inspiration to join the Spiritual River Forum.

[Sally]

Welcome Jill - you are not alone anymore:] This site (and all of the people on it) will help you reclaim your life back. It's going to be hard, but I think you really want it - so hang in there and know that everyone on here is going thru similair situations and will be pulling for you. For the next few days/hours my advice is to drink as much water as you can, wash those toxins out of your system, sleep, pamper yourself, read Patricks articles, do whatever it takes not to pick up a drink.....clear all of the booze out of your house and start writing...post on here as often as you need to, someone will answer. Best of luck...life is so much better when you are sober!! "If we go down into ourselves we find that we possess exactly what we desire." - Simone Weil

[Beth]

Jill, Welcome! So hard to forget about last night with 5 stitches. I'm pulling for you. I had been a drinker my whole life but something took me over the edge from social to alcoholic. I can't explain it. I can't explain when it happened but I know it happened. So as they say, recognizing it is the first step to overcoming it. You are ready to break the chains. For you as well as those grand babies of yours. Stay hydrated, with lots of water! And don't forget to eat. A lot of us here believe that our personalties are addictive whether that is a good or bad addiction. Stay busy and take massive action in finding a good addiction to replace the evil bad one.

Sue, last night while I was drinking my cranberry juice (in a large water glass that looked like a wine glass) at a cocktail party I started to act a little giddy and it made the drunk I was talking to feel at ease which was good for me to see because she was drunk! Not what I wanted to be. so even though I feel guilty for using her as my muse I was able to remember how she would feel in the morning. Stay sober for your own self!

[Midwest Sue]

I had to stay for a fancy french dinner also and I just made it out -- alive -- and sober!!

[Christy]

Good job Sue! Whew!

Jill-Welcome! You are definetly not alone here. If you look back at earlier posts from many of us, we have all done things that we are not proud of. All of these things from the past help to know why we don't want to go on that path again.
Ouch on the cut and stitches you had to get. I'll never forget falling into gravel once and had to get ex-rays because they thought my nose was broken. Fortunately, it was not broken, but got a good scar from it.

Carol-Do you still have that party coming up where you have to buy and serve alcohol? I know you will be strong and just enjoy serving the people whether it's food, alcohol or whatever it may be. I just look at it like some people can't eat red meat, some people can't have salt, others just can't have alcohol. So i guess that sounds like a lousy comparison, but that's how i look at it. Make any sense? Maybe not, but i know that you will find a way to get through it and be able to enjoy it sober.

Beth-the last paragraph made me chuckle a little. When i serve alcohol to someone I just look at them and say glad it's her and not me and also wonder how crappy they will feel in the morning. Seeing others overinduldge makes me feel happy i'm just drinking a big glass of ice water!