How to stop drinking

[Donell]

Carol- Congrats on day five I'm on day 2 and it feels like forever, I don't know what to do with my time. But thanks for your posts... I will continue reading.

[Donell]

John, today is day 2 for me, after drinking an 18pk or more everyday for the past 15yrs. I guess there are many roads we can take in our life and sometimes, when we finally decide to get the right one, there seems to be alot of places we can stop on the way...but, we always have to keep going, even if we do give in to temptation,time and again. I have quit 3 times before, once I even made it to 6 months,I was feeling and looking good. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't beat yourself up about mistakes, there bound to happen but, just don't stop trying or letting your heart beat your mind. Good luck many prayers.

[Donell]

Terri, you are not alone I'm day 2 today, I'm not sure what to do with myself. All I know is I can't drink today or in the next five minutes... I guess the first few days are the hardest. Even with the feelings I'm having- I'm struggling with excepting myself for me not the one I think I am when I'm buzzed. Hang in there, we can do this.

[Noel]

I am not going to use the word "discover" because I knew this fact all along...so I will say that I "verbally" brought this to my own attention.....I cannot be "quiet". I don't mean in terms of sound. I cannot sit still/relax/be at peace. I am constantly in motion. Laundry, bills, studying, exercising, cleaning, volunteering, working, taking care of others, feeding our zoo full of animals (dogs, hamsters, lizards, fish, gerbils, crawl dads).

For all the Mom's out there, do you feel the same? Is it just being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, friend? Or do I need to contemplate another source of my whirlwind pace of motion?

I think that this is one of the reasons my drinking got out of hand....the wine made me slow down and breath.

[Noel]

Thanks, Eric for the understanding. I am trying to declutter my life as well. I adore my family and friends, but sometimes all my obligations weigh me down.

I am learning to recognize all my triggers...a big one for me is feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I guess I wish I was "needed" a little less sometimes. Or else, I need to learn to say NO and take a break occassionally.

Maybe that should be my thought of the day....learn when to put yourself first.

[Millie]

Hey John, glad to see your post.
I am on day 4 of my restart. Want to join me?

[carol]

Millie and John, seen and witnessed! Keep checking with us on your progress, OK?

[Terri]

Thanks Sue, Eric and Donell.

Day One over - I spent much of it thinking about alcohol. Around the time I would normally open a bottle I went for a walk. Success! I guess I'm fortunate in that my desire to drink is shortlived. If I can make it through the late afternoon - early evening I'm ok. But during stressful days at work i comfort myself with the thought of having that drink when I get home. I'm going to have to think of alternative ways of coping. I want it to be something positive. Any ideas?

Good luck John & Millie!

[bdog]

Hi all,

I have been fighting it for a while but its been better the last few days. I too find that the first days of doing without I think about it all the time then as the week goes on it gets less of a issue. Now to keep that pace up.

[kevin2]

Hey all,...great to see John and Millie checking in! Donell, welcome,...18pk of Coors Lt a day,.wow! that's pretty impressive. It's hard to even believe now, but 5 or 6 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking prowess, I was throwing down 18 or more CLs per day myself. It's sick but I would drink as much as I could hold,..literally,..then throw up,..and drink 8 or 10 more, scarf down some food, take some ibuprofin,..pass out,..get up the next morning and at work by 7:00 am. I did that for longer than I care to remember,...then "cut back" to 12-14 Miller-Lite 5 or 6 days a week and thought I was doing great. Did this for a few more years,..until this past Dec. 11th, 2011,..and FINALLY got just so sick of it I had to take the big step of giving it up all together. I've slipped a few times since then,..but honestly you're doing the best thing for yourself,..and you won't regret it. When I look back to where I was,..it gives me a hangover to even think about how I was living. Best of luck to you and stay strong!..It won't be long at all until you're sleeping better,..and overall feeling 100% better. Take vitamins,.eat well and often (even if you have to force it),..go to bed early (melatonin did wonders for me),..excercise,..even if it's just walking,..and drink tons of water. I bet I drank 10 (yellow) Gatorades a day for the first couple of weeks.

Noel...

For all the Mom's out there, do you feel the same? Is it just being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, friend? Or do I need to contemplate another source of my whirlwind pace of motion?

I think that this is one of the reasons my drinking got out of hand....the wine made me slow down and breath.

I'm not a Mom of course, but a Dad of 4 little ones and wow,..you sound just like my wife. She calls it "winding down" every evening,..and like you, she is in CONSTANT motion. Sometimes I really think (but rarely say it),..that she subconciously (yet purposfully) "winds herself up" every day so tightly,...just so she CAN have her winding down period. The only time she ever smokes is during this little 2 to 3 hour stretch every night,...and it goes hand in hand with the drinking. She works so hard and is SO busy that it is hard for me to ever say anything to her about it,..even though I know it's not the best thing for her. There seems to be so many Moms here off and on that have such similar stories and struggles,..and so many seem to involve wine. Great to have you here,...stay with us!

So,..for a topic of discussion, what was everyone's "drink of choice",..or "Go-To drink" and what was a typical drunk day/night like for you? I described mine above,..and it's actually helpful to think about it and write/talk about it,..just to remember how gross it really was.

[Ken1]

ww43, it is totally normal to be mad about not being able to drink in moderation in the beginning. After a while you will begin to think that you have this under control so you might as well have one, it could be in 2 weeks or day 29, but fight that urge. Every time I have slipped, it gets harder and harder to get back on track. You will probably continue to fantasize about alcohol for a while, but after 6 months or so it is an after thought. I now do all the same things I used to do with one difference, now I'm not a drunk idiot when I do them.

Find something you love to do, learn to play the guitar, volunteer, do yoga, go to an AA meeting, anything except drink to fill the time you previously drank. You also need to find a way to quiet your mind, for when your mind starts racing and the only solution seems like having a drink because that's what you have always done (or at least that's what I did). I learned how to do deep breathing exercises (don't laugh, it helps), and here is something else I like: http://www.onemomentmeditation.com/ Watch the video at the top of the front page to learn how to meditate in a moment anywhere you are. Good luck!

[Mel]

All, right. Time to knuckle-down. I'm back at day one, and determined not to slip again. I feel awful. And it is just getting worse. I need to stop this stupid cycle.

Here we go, wheeeee. Day one.

[Terri]

Good luck Mel!

I went to the gym this morning. They say exercise helps and it's true. The feel good factor stayed with me all day. I was offered wine this evening and managed to say "No thanks." I'm very aware this is the "honeymoon period" for me. After a few stressful days at work I'll probably be climbing the walls. I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time.

Best wishes to all walking the same path.

[Julie]

After a while you will begin to think that you have this under control so you might as well have one, it could be in 2 weeks or day 29, but fight that urge. Every time I have slipped, it gets harder and harder to get back on track

Ken - thank you for this reminder. My voice is telling me tonight to just give it a try and it helps to think it through. I don't want to get caught up again in the daily bottle of wine, planning for it, needing to get home to drink it, hiding it ..... I don't need it, I don't want it and wish it would just stop bothering me - damn. Going to try the meditation now - thanks everyone for "listening"

[Midwest Sue]

Julie,
I get that nagging voice to drink at certain times and it helps me also to pause and consider the can of worms it would open up. Like you, I don't want it and I'm not going there.

I'm a better person every day without alcohol. That has become a reward in itself, better than a daily buzz. I could justify drinking 18 different ways, but why? I would lose respect for myself at this point. Even worse, I would begin to engage in a constant internal tug-of-war once the pump is primed.

Let's face it: alcohol is a highly effective tool for relaxing and escaping, temporarily, the cares of the world. It's also a dangerous tool of self-destruction for those of us who have a problem. I can delude myself all I want but cannot deny my history which proves that I am one of those with a problem.

Now that I'm getting used to facing the cares of the world sober, guess what? I'm finding out that they weren't as bad as I thought, and while I avoided dealing with life I denied myself the opportunity to grow!

It's pretty cool to feel like I'm getting smarter at age 57. There is a lot of life out there to explore and I'm ready.

Sue

[Kip]

Good morning, afternoon, evening friends....Gotta catch up on a few days reading here but a quick word before going out for a mind clearing drive in the mountains...

Terri..welcome. I hope you find peace on this forum. It is a wonderful family of open minds and hearts..

Mel, your cycling analogy is quite good! As a cyclist, I can appreciate it... Unfortunately I had a skin tearing elbows flying crash yesterday. Wish it had been on my bike.. You're spot on..it just gets harder every time a relapse occurs...Like Ken says...it just keeps getting harder and I give up and in. x marks are dominating my calendar and the smiley faces are cowering. My wife told me this morning it's our marriage or the alcohol. She has been so patient for so long and I have been such a jerk. How the hell can one really quit this without a relapse.. Good luck with your restart. I'm right behind you...

Parents in town tonite. Big ol trigger.. I will be sober. Then if I make some smart remark I won't have drinking to blame. However, the strategy is to keep my mouth shut.

First gear...zoom zoom..second..third... Let's see what the mountains have to say.. Best to all...Kip

[Kimmy]

Sue, I loved your post, everything you said is so true.. I need to always remember that to help stay sober.. It's funny how we drink to help us thru hard times, but when I am sober it is so much easier to deal with a situation.. I remember reading a post I think it was from Beth, no problem is so bad that alcohol can't make worst. I remind myself of that everyday. I am on day 42 and love being sober, I figured if I can stop drinking I can stop smoking, I have been smoke free for 6 days now. Don't think I could have quit if I was still drinking. ( another bonus of not drinking ). Have a great and sober weekend everyone.. And to all the Moms Happy Mothers day.. Xo

[Mel]

Day two. It will be tough. Especially as I have been really really drinking too much every day again. But, I know the drill and that the first week is going to be hell. But, that everyday I wake up sober - I will feel better, stronger, healthier, and, hey, added benefit - look better too. Good luck everyone, be strong!

[Terri]

Thank you for the welcome Kip. It's so encouraging to have the support of others that are facing the same demons.

Day three and I'm struggling. Thank God I don't have any alcohol in the apartment!

[Ken1]

ww43, I thought the same exact thing watching that video, all those triggers. Funny how less stressful life is when we give up the thing we used as a crutch to deal with stress! Now when the dog is barking, the phone is ringing, someone's at the door and the smoke alarm is screaming because I'm burning something on the stove (all at the same time) I laugh when I used to want to put my head through a wall and go right for a drink, mainly because my head was still pounding from the night before. When I write down my former drinking experiences it seems so ridiculous that I didn't figure out booze was the common ingredient causing all the drama.

Julie, good for you for recognizing your AV trying to manipulate you. Never let your guard down, I relapsed after four years sober. I realize now that this is a lifelong condition, an allergy if you will. Think about it like this, does a person allergic to peanuts obsess about eating peanuts all the time or does she realize that they might make her extremely ill and get on with her life? I know, easier said than done for the reason Sue gave, we drank because it works, short term, but causes so much more misery and distress in the long run that it is just not worth it.

Terri and Donell, welcome, you two have jumped right in and good for you. Please tell us more about your stories and progress as we all are here to learn from one another. Please read through this and any of the other threads that speak to you and definitely read through the articles at the main site by Patrick.

Kip, I feel your pain and will have a good thought for you today. I know you can do this and know exactly what you mean about relapsing. Here are a couple of articles by Patrick that I think are great. Watch the video in the first one by Patrick first: http://www.spiritualriver.com/altern...sitive-action/
http://www.spiritualriver.com/what-w...ction-problem/
Definitely read through some other of his articles as he has tons of great advice and worksheets too.

Personally, I could not have done it without AA, but if that is not an option look into SMART Recovery. I learned a lot about myself using the tools at SMART, some as simple as their list of terms. For instance, LFT=low frustration tolerance; my knee jerk reaction to stress was to crave alcohol until I made a list of all my triggers (which continues to grow) because I had LFT. Now when I experience a trigger, I recognize it as a trigger and can shut it down a little better. They have lots of great worksheets at their website: http://www.smartrecovery.org/ Good luck and hope that drive in the mountains clears your mind.