I was talking with a friend of mine this morning about several issues such as setting boundaries between ourselves and work and it made me think of some things I wanted to discuss.
I think the starting point of making changes in our lives, even before making the decision to do so is getting mad. I mean getting really pissed off about something to the point where we realize that we are no longer going to tolerate it in our lives anymore. There is a scene from an old movie called "Network" where the lead character opens his window, sticks his head out, and shouts to the world, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
We do this with jobs we hate, relationships that have become unhealthy or run their course, places we live, and so on, and it hit me today that we need to apply this to alcohol! How long would we tolerate a friend or job that reeks such havoc in our lives, causes such misery and suffering, is so unhealthy to the point it is literally killing us, and that we realize is never going to do anything but get worse?
I think the answer is that we must develop a burning desire to change. We all have within us the capacity for greatness, but we have chosen to ignore it and in many cases to quiet it with alcohol. We have to make a decision to get well and to achieve the lives we all want and deserve. We have to have faith that our new life will be better and be persistent in chasing our new goals. We have to stomp out that fear that we will slip or that it will be too hard or that it might not be better. We have to train our subconscious to resist the last gasps of "It" trying to keep us down by constantly focusing on where we are going verses just existing and going through the motions of life which is where drinking keeps us.
We have to deal with these things at this point, but I believe that just recognizing them in ourselves is the key to defeating them: Indifference, Indecision, Worry, Over-Caution, and Procrastination.
I am reminded of an old sales technique called "the Ben Franklin close." You take a piece of paper and draw a line down the center and another line across the top of it. On one side you write "Pros" and on the other write "Cons". Do two of these, one for drinking and one for not drinking. Really try to come up with all the reasons you are for and against each. I did this and learned a lot about myself. I have it in my journal and have discovered that when I'm feeling an urge, it will remind me why I quit in the first place.
So to wrap it up, I guess what I'm saying is that you need to get mad at alcohol and all the carnage it has piled up in your life as a starting point of making the choice to get sober. It's pretty easy to do when you start honestly looking at it.