How to stop drinking

[Samantha]

Hi anonymous, thank you for sharing. You give me alot of hope sober 25 years. Even though it sounds like your frustrated with personal issues I can only imagine how bad the problems would have been drinking. We need more long term sobriety on this forum and I appreciate you sharing. I am only sober 37 days but feel different this time like I can really do it. I know I cant drink but know I have a lot to learn. On your issues maybe you could see a counselor to talk out these issues? Counseling helped me in the past. Anyway, welcome.

Wolverine, wondering how the talk went and welcome too.

Kjbp, i should have known you were up as we have similar sleep patterns! I woke up 3am ugh. Dont know why. One thing I will be aware of today is tired is a trigger for me so will be careful. Hope you were able to get back to sleep.

Sam, love to see your posts. You sound good.

Carol are you day 30 today??

Billy day 6 congrats

Happy sober new week to everyone, Mel, Sally, Sylvane, Justin.

[Anonymous]

I just sent a very long share and I think it has gotten lost or didn't go thru and I really dont want to retype it...anyway, just wanted to thank everyone for your input...and for staying sober another day.


Anonymous

[Samantha]

Hi Anonymous, we always select all and copy the text because that has happened to all of us unfortunately. We go to send and it disappears or doesn't work..... I'm glad you posted even if it was short!

[Mel]

Hey everyone,
Hope your Mondays are going well. I've been packing the house for my move and just getting a lot of chores done. Finances are tight, so that helps now when it comes to walking past enticing places - I really just cannot afford alcohol right now. My tiny tiny slip last night upsets me only because I know that after the wine was finished I did the scan around to see if another bottle could be opened. Luckily there was nothing at home.

[Samantha]

Carol arent you day 30 today? If so congrats! I know your daughter is visiting but maybe when you have time you could let us know how life is now versus 30 days ago? This would be helpful to alot of us. Sam, i am with you on the sleep better then drinking! Its been safer for me to just rest at times then take a chance. I kinda have to slow myself down. Slow motion! Mel, this is a new day. You were doing great and we are here for you. You could do a 30 day committment with me and the others if you want. The one day at a time hasnt done as well as the 30 for me. Anyway good luk with the packing.

[kjbp]

Just wanted to do a quick check-in today and see how everyone is feeling. I also wanted to let you know each of you pops into my mind throughout the day. I feel your happiness, your challenges, your frustrations, your journey.

Samantha, I did manage to get back to sleep, although I realized I shouldn't post in the middle of the night - way too many typos. I donned my ear buds and listened to one of the sleep selections on my Ipod. And, I'm all over your moving slow mantra. I have to force myself to slow life down. It's been my nature to approach life with sonic intensity. I'm super intense in everything - being a type A(AA), being a slug, being blonde...the list is endless. I'm struggling to find a middle ground, but I'll get there - it just needs to happen faster

Sam, I had a period where I would get into a deep sleep and have odd, vivid dreams, in color. Usually involving some aspect of drinking or hiding the liquor or being caught mid gulp. They've stopped for now, so I'm sure your body will adjust in a short time and your dreams will settle down.

Billy, how was your Monday??? Thank you for sharing what your son said. You will always remember the moment when he said he liked you sober. Are you planning anything special for you and your son for Father's Day?

Justin, I've been thinking about you and what you are going through. It's good to know where you are at in the journey. I wish you strength and determination.

Carol, what a glorious way to celebrate a sober Day 30 with your daughter! Are you at the front of the line to sign up for another 30?

Mel, thank you for sharing the events of your night with us. I can just see the "inquiring" look on your face at dinner waiting for the next bottle to be opened. I'm picturing myself and how I used to do the same thing. I celebrate the fact that you were able to go home. At that point, I would have likely stopped at the store for a bottle, just in case there wasn't any in the house when I got home. Grand decision making on your part. Hope your medical tests came back clear today.

Sylvane congratulations on day 40!! Me too - it's a huge milestone!!

Michael, Kerstin, Casey, Sarahmae, Julliet, Shelley, jennhan75 hope you're still here with us.

Take care and happy snoozing tonight!

[carol]

Hi, everyone. As my day is coming to a close, I am celebrating 30 days of FREEDOM!!

The intense cravings have stopped. I feel a lot calmer. I feel a certain lightness of spirit, as though a heavy burden has been lifted, and occasional moments of sheer joy.

I don't have the extra energy that others have talked about, in fact I feel bone tired. But I know that I used alcohol to help me power through my tiredness. So I need to give myself time to catch up on rest.

As I said in an earlier post, I thought about drinking now that my 30 days are up, since the 30 day trial allows for that. But after planning out what I would do and thinking about it, I don't want to do that. I've spent more than enough time in a drunken stupor.

So I declare an end to the misery. I'm so tired of all the work it took to get the alcohol I learned to need, all the consequences of drinking all that alcohol. I will not drink alcohol again. That's a commitment forever. I don't feel a sense of loss, I feel a sense of excitement as I move into recovery!

I've quit for 30 days before, so I think it's important to take a moment to ask myself what is different this time. I see several things. First I always had in the back of my mind that I wasn't sure I could see never ever having another drink. The result of a less than 100% commitment was that I did successfully stop for awhile, then drink only a little for awhile, but ultimately I was right back down at the bottom of the bottle. Second was complacency. When I wasn't drinking for a while, drinking just a little sounded OK and then I did drink only a little and I was complacent about that. And then I was right back down at the bottom of the bottle. Third was I stopped drinking, but I didn't start recovery. I didn't even understand the concept. So what's different? Yes, I can imagine not drinking again. If my daughters ever get married, they will have to have something non-alcoholic to substitute for that champagne toast. As for complacency, I now have this community to help keep me on track. And now I understand that there's another phase of recovery to look forward to and create a better future.

Thank you so much Patrick for creating this! Thank you so much to everyone on the forum and those from the old blog. You are truly helping to save my life!

[Celebration1994]

Take it 1 day at a time....sometimes 1 moment at a time

It took me time to learn to stay in the now and not drink 1 day at a time, but I asked for help and took suggestions....wasn't always easy to do, but so worth it.

[Eric]

I've run across this site several times over the past years. I've finally decided to quit drinking. I'll focus on one day at a time and taking regular breaks to meditate and refocus my thinking on this new way of life. This is...day 1.

[Sally]

WOW - look at all the milestones!! You guys are amazing!!
Sylvane and kjbp - 40 days OMG - keep it up...you are my inspiration..
Samantha - 37 days...you go girl..
Carol - CONGRATS on 30 - I knew you could do it.
Eric - welcome, you are in the right place.....never quit quitting:]

Celebration1994 - nice saying, nice thoughts, thank you....have you been sober since 1994? WOW!

[Patrick Meninga]

Congratulations to everyone hitting these milestones. Very exciting stuff.

Getting 30 days and beyond is HUGE. It lets you prove to yourself that sustained sobriety is possible.

On a side note: The spam has become overwhelming so my web host has advised me to force people to register first before posting. There are generally about 50 bots on the forum, not even real people, trying to post spam.

Of course anyone can go get a quick email address from Yahoo or wherever and register with that if they like....

Sorry everyone....hopefully it does not affect too many people.

[kjbp]

Carol, Woooo Hoooo! Your success and your post are beautiful and I'm so proud of you!
Billy, I missed hearing from you yesterday and this morning. We're doing the happy dance for you for week 1, right? That is HUGE!! Please check in, we all want to hear how you're doing.
Eric, welcome and congratulations on day 1! We look forward to sharing your journey with you.
Celebration1994, glad your here and thanks for your insight.

I'm continuing to work on projects around the house as the job market is still in the toilet here. This is my third summer unemployed, but just recently I feel like I'm becoming more comfortable with the reality that my "job" right now is to work on me and my recovery, one day at a time. Took quite awhile to accept that, but everyone here has helped so much. Staying connected with friends here, as well as Patrick's articles, helps to reinforce the healing we are all striving to achieve and the encouragement we each need.

Hoping everyone is off to a grand, sober Tuesday. Remember to find one special, positive thing today; I'd love to hear it!

[Anonymous]

Hey Everyone,
Just wanted to connect and say Hi..and I am grateful to be sober and clean today. I'm still walking around with alot of anger and feel as if I am a victim. I want to let everything go that is negative in my life, but there are some things that I just can't...

To make a long story short, I've been trying to sell my apt. for 2 years and have problems with this apt since day 1 which is 3 yrs ago, ever since then my life seems to have taken a downward turn...even with the quality of my sobriety. I feel as if I am trapped and am hitting brick walls..no matter what I do, this apartment is not selling, I've had 4 realtors and had major problems with my neighbor upstairs since day 1 (15 floods the first year). I wish I never bought this place and it has turned into a complete nightmare...there isnt transportation nearby and the parking is an abomination.
I can go on and on about this, but I only get more aggravated. I have a family coming tonite to see this place for the 3rd time and I'm crossing my fingers. I've dropped the price 60,000.....I am praying that if i dont sell this place soon that i dont end up in foreclosure - I am running out of money and cant get a job in this city anymore...It's even hard to get to meetings because of parking and they are far from here...not walking distance. I guess I'm dumping but its what I have to do right now to stay sober. I'm 25 years sober and feel that this should not be happening at this time in my life. anyway, thanks for listening. Anonymous

[kjbp]

Oh Sally, do you have a milestone today? I'm not sure how to phrase that actually, as every day we are sober is a milestone... but I'm thinking you're near two weeks now?

Annoymous, I'm thinking of you and your challenges. Life sure can be a big ugly black bear, or at least look like something the cat hacked up. I'm going to challenge you today to find positives. No matter how small, there HAVE to be some positives today. Don't think about yesterday or tomorrow; just today. When we hash over yesterday, or forecast tomorrow, we are completely missing out on the present, the now. I know it's often easier to not be "present", probably why some (me) drank their present away. So, I force myself to find at least one positive. It starts to become a habit and I love my list of smiles. On a similar note, Sally (I think - gads can't remember) has a "blessings" jar she feeds with her positives. Good luck!

[Mel]

Carol - you are an amazing inspiration! Your post and your way of explaining how this time is different resonate with me. Kjbp and Samantha, your success is also amazing and inspiring.

I think, Samantha, I will do a 30 day re-commit. With this site and how everyone's fears/worries/triumphs mirror my own experience - I do feel that something is different this time around. Yes, I had that glass of wine - I take that as a warning and as an opportunity. People know I drink, they think that it is 'nice' to give me wine as a part of celebration - it is my job to try gently, without fanfare, to demonstrate the new me. She who likes sparkling water more than she ever liked champagne (okay, that one was tough to write - but I'm going to make that my new challenge). I am moving to a new city and a new position, and that is a perfect place to live the new me - to start new patterns of behavior and relish new habits.

I took the car in today for a variety of things (tires, broken hood latch, etc - this is why there is no no no extra cash or credit or anything) and had a wonderful ride home with Mr. R. (the guy who delivers people and tires around town) - we drove in a meandering way and talked about everything. The idea of slowing down, and not living with a constant hangover or dread or anxiety, to really enjoy this conversation and time with someone I've just met --- that makes living without alcohol not only possible, but actually desirable.

Billy and Justin - how are you guys doing? Anonymous, I second Kjbp's challenge - it is okay to dump, but find something positive to focus on as well. This isn't a Pollyanna move - try and balance everything, crap will happen (parking, rental/realty problems, relationships, job or no-job) and it will keep happening, but there is weird/strange/wonderful/good as well in all of that. Try and find it, you'll be surprised. Or rather, open yourself up to the possibility of surprise.

[Billy]

Kjbp, Mel, Samantha, Patrick, Sally, Sylvane, Carol (congrats), Sam- No happy dance! I've been to the site at least a dozen times and have been unable to post. Couldn't bring myself to tell you all! I'm embarassed to say I didn't make it a week and I had a relapse. I let you all down, especially myself. I'm so sorry Julliet! I don't know why! Sunday was a really tough day but I made it through. Thats whats eating me up the worse! WHY! I tried really hard and you all put so much effort to help me I feel horrible, especially all those comments about me inspiring others! Again, I'm really sorry and THANKS from the bottom of my heart for all your support and kind words!! I'm really happy for everybody who is doing so well!

[Mel]

Billy - do the happy dance for the fact that you made it as long as you did. That takes willpower and strength and determination. You have that, and you succeeded - even if it was only for awhile. Everyone who comes here and tries, even if it is more than once (heck, we're all multiple offenders!), that is inspiring. Because we are all trying to get better.

So, keep trying, don't give up and don't let this relapse sink you back into the old behavior. Re-commit. I gotta too - one glass is not a full blown relapse, but it requires me to rethink, readjust and re-commit.

[Patrick Meninga]

@ Billy - the first time I tried to stop drinking, I failed.

Second time? Failed then too.

Third time? You guessed it. No success.

But you know what? I finally got it.

You will too. (If you want it!)

Please keep coming back here, and keep trying....

[Sally]

Billy, Mel - I am the "queen of failures". Remember Rule#1 - don't beat yourself up, it is what it is. Just keep trying. And Billy we are not disappointed in you, you did not let anyone down...we have all been there done that/doing that. So forgive yourself. Everyday is a new "try" for me, today I am doing good and that is all that matters. Just keep trying and keep thinking positive...it is hard, we all know that. Kjbp this is day10 for me . still hanging in there...still feeling pretty good. Have not really had any thoughts to drink, not sure why, just don't want it anymore (which is a good thing) hope it keeps going that way.

[kjbp]

Billy, do the happy dance!

Look at all the support here AND I am so inspired by you that you came back here and acknowledged your relapse. That's HUGE! I was horrified each time (yes, I'm a multiple offender too) I had to admit my relapses. I think it meant I had to acknowledge the fact that gasp, I wasn't perfect. Give yourself a little flick in the head (if you must) and like everyone has said, jump back in the saddle. It does work, and it's worth everything in the world to keep trying - remember your list???

Hey and if it helps, I found two special June holidays just for you - today is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, and tomorrow is Best Friends Day. Let's enjoy them sober together, eh? You've many friends here in this.