How to stop drinking

[Molly]

Day 5 today - I'm liking this new sober persona. The dreams are bizarre though. I've always been the kind of person who knew when I was dreaming - if the dream was too weird I would wake myself up. Early this morning my dream was so distressing, and I didn't know it was a dream until I woke up. All those voices telling me how worthless and useless and criminal I am ... hoping that ends soon. Today I will not drink.

[Molly]

Thank you, Sylvane! I've cut and pasted those words onto my daily affirmation sheet. I feel strong today - but am staying aware, for sure. All those voices last night .... fortunately I don't agree with them (at least consciously).

[Ruth]

Bryan, you have taken the most important step already, and that is to admit that you have a problem. The next step is to choose the ones you love over the bottle. Alcohol has taken over your behavior, but you can take yourself back. I wrote down all the terrible things I did while drunk, promised myself I would sit down and read them before I ever went for "just one" drink, and then decide. The other thing I did was to promise myself I would go to rehab if I couldn't do it on my own. That is what I mean by making quitting the number one priority. It also helped me to "come out" to my husband and kids. It was one more way that I couldn't hide and would have to be accountable for my decision. DOn't get me wrong- I did this for me, but I included them and it was powerful. Don't be afraid you can't do it- who is in charge? YOu are! If you can do everything else in your life, you can do this too- it is as simple as not raising the glass to your lips. Sure, your are going to want to, and you will struggle, and it will suck sometimes, maybe for a long time. So what? On the other side of that is a you you can be proud of, whose kids won't have to grow up with an alcoholic father. Good for you for figuring it out this soon. It took me until I was 51.

[Bryan]

John, Ruth, Molly,Sylvane, Morgan, Marky, Alison, Eric, and Jacquie, and others, thanks again for the supporting comments. It was nice to be able to have a truthful conversation with my wife last night. I had to keep telling her that is was for ME first and them second. But she was in tears just hearing that I wanted to make major lifestyle changes. She even said she was proud of me regardless of what happens in the future just to hear me say the things I did. It adds to the pressure of staying sober but I also believe it may fuel my will power as well. I actually felt like I was on the right side of the fence again in our marriage. And, let me tell you if you've never done it, throwing out massive amounts of liquor was very scary at first but completely liberating. I know it's only day 2 for me and it's a long hard journey. But when I woke up this morning and didn't feel the guilt and shame it was very peaceful. I also expected the physical withdrawal would be a little tougher on the first day, maybe that's yet to come. Insomnia was an issue though, hopefully sleep will come a little easier tonight. Thanks again, and I wish everyone here a sober day today.

Best wishes,

Bryan

[Molly]

Congrats Bryan! I hear you about the 'pain' of throwing out the booze - I saw $ going down the drain. My sleep is still iffy at Day 5 - but I've heard that physical exercise helps alot. Guess that's my clue to get moving ...

[JeffR1]

Hello everyone. I have made it to day 10 – the longest period of continuous sobriety for me in many years! Whilst I am feeling better than 10 days ago, I’m still not feeling great. I’ve been dealing with some health issues for a while now, but I’m in no doubt that the absence of alcohol in my system can only be of help. I have kept up my daily journal writing and I’m finding this to be extremely helpful in releasing any non-productive emotions. I experienced a moment yesterday when I noticed I had actually had a period of time when I hadn’t thought about alcohol at all! I’m grateful to be sober and know that each day sober helps.

It’s great to see all the very helpful and positive posts on the forum. I check in many times each day and I find this helps keep me on the path. The beauty about a forum like this is that even though the various posts may be directed to an individual, the fact that we all can identify with what is being said can directly help each and every person here.

I’d like to post a few words to new-comers, and also pass on my thanks to everyone else for your help and support.

Brian: Hello and welcome to the forum. It is good you have taken positive action in respect to your drinking. I read with interest all the great advice posted by the members here on the forum (this advice helps me also). Congratulations on you for pouring all the alcohol away and making it to day 2. I hear what you say about the anxiety, and in the short time I have been sober I can say that the anxiety has eased considerably. I was taking Xanax for quite a while, and already I feel less and less of a need to take them, so I weaning myself off the stuff. This is a great site with lots of very valuable information and guidance. I recommend reading the back-posts on this thread as there is a lot of helpful advice, especially about what to expect in the early stages of sobriety and lots about the practical things we can do to help ourselves. I also recommend posting if you have any specific questions or are in need of specific advice. There are a lot of understanding and experienced people here who are only too willing to help. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. Best wishes.

Sunny: Welcome and congratulations on day 12. It’s great you are feeling healthier already; certainly helps to give one another aspect of motivation to remain sober. I understand what you say about replacing beer with white wine – I’ve tried that too. It didn’t work for me either! Have a great sober day.

Molly: Congratulations on day 5 – that is fantastic! You are doing so well. Keep up the great work. Sylvane’s post about staying aware is really positive. For me, I find that trying to remain in the present moment and being totally attentive to what it is that I am doing is so important. The more I practice it, the more I notice how my mind wanders back and forth between the past and the future. But, the more I practice, the more I find I can quickly notice what is happening and bring my thoughts back to now. Have a great sober day.

Midwest Sue: Congratulations to you and your husband on 26 days – only a few days to go to a month of sobriety! I would think that putting the word ‘month’ or ‘months’ into discussion regarding one’s sobriety can be very empowering. Well done to both of you. I can relate to what you say about wondering if you would ever have fun without alcohol. I would say that was something I was really worried about also before I stopped drinking. I think I’m still at the ‘grin and bear it’ stage, so I look forward to getting my real smile back. Like you, I was trapped in my house and already I like the idea that I can go out anytime I like, and this in itself is a great help in staying sober. By the way, according to the Quitter application I have saved $138.83 so far! Quitter is also a great little motivator – thanks again for the tip.

Morgan: Never quit quitting! You CAN do it! I think everyone’s comments were helpful (to me also), and Sunny is so right about learning from what happened. I identified from my previous two lapses that what ‘triggered’ me was that I was either feeling lonely or angry – or a combination of both. I took the advice of the people here and looked at ways in which I could approach those triggers head-on. And, this time I have found myself responding differently (and not reacting) to those events in life that happen and bring about such emotions. One particularly bad day something happened and the thought came to my mind to drink. Thankfully, I was able to reach for my journal instead of a drink and let my emotions out in a productive manner, rather than drinking them into oblivion. Hang in there and please be kind to yourself.

Thanks again everyone. I trust you will all enjoy a sober day. Take care.

PS: Kip. If you need a letter of reference for your wife to get you that Evo company car I’m willing to write one for you! Lol. Way to go with the Lotus!

[Bryan]

Yes Molly, physical exercise has been a big part of my schedule and I'm sure it helps sleep, especially if you haven't been active. I find it funny though how irresponsible sometimes I could be drinking yet I wouldn't miss any workouts all week the past few weeks. My therapists prescribed a non-addictive sleeping pill awhile back I might give it a shot until my body adjusts.

I guess I'm still in that honeymoon phase of sobriety. I awoke this morning with a completely different view on life. It's the little things. Like I always use to eat a granola bar for breakfast because I knew I'd be packing on an extra 1200 booze calories that evening. I would always skip desert for the same reason. I don't feel the need to stick to these old habits. I've always thought that if I stop drinking I'd be a slave to my thoughts of wanting to drink. However, I feel freedom in other areas of my life. My wife has been planning a family trip to Disney world and I've been a complete jerk about it. Not because I dislike amusement parks or resorts or because I don't like being with my family. It was because I couldn't imagine how I could "maintain" my important drinking schedule in between Mickey Mouse dinners and a hotel room without hidden booze closets. Suddenly, I don't feel the need to fear this vacation any longer if I can maintain my will power. I might actually enjoy it. However, it is Friday evening---that's usually when I start getting my buzz going so tonight may be more of a challenge.

Stay strong.

Bryan

[Bryan]

Thanks Jeff for the input and encouragement. Hopefully your health issues will get better as you continue to detox.

Bryan

[marky mark]

Bryan u are sounding more positive. Keep up the good work and take massive action as youve heard before. Enjoy eating food and exercise. your sleep will come back and it will be a night and day difference. you are gonna have good and bad days like we all do. Focus on today which i have finally grasped somewhat. Stay sober today

[Ruth]

It is incredibly liberating to not have to think about alcohol. I never really recognized how alcohol was driving so many of my decisions- where and when we went out to eat, excuses to go to the store so I could also pick up a bottle of wine, making sure I had enough money, worrying about driving (but doing it anyway), feeling guilty afterwards, not meeting people's eyes, holding my breath when I gave them a hug, etc., etc. I am here to tell you that you are definitely stronger than alcohol. It will keep calling you, but once you get through the first shock, you will find it gets easier, and the payoffs are worth it! Keep up the good work!

[Kip]

Good Friday eve and saturday morning friends... These posts are just great and I can sense everyone gathering energy for the weekend challenges.. It's way cool to know that friends in Europe are done w Friday and our friends down in the "real south" (great quip from my Kiwi mate Chris) are well into Saturday. Help us along friends..

Jeff, great offer! I loved driving home sober tonite. I call my car rElise. And don't you dare get on that R1 if you slip dude! We need you right here. Great job on day 10! Back post reading is amazing isn't it? I may actually get back to the future this weekend..then dedicate more time to the recent days as we all walk through this. Happy summer day down there..

Sylvane, very moving insights. Those are in my forum notes. Reminds me of some of the quotes my wife helps me translate from a favorite Japanese poet on? One on my cube wall is simple- "ima.koko". Now.here. More on that later..

Bryan, welcome if I haven't said so already..brain fog. You're among kindred spirits here and it will be awesome to have you with us. Totally understand your honeymoon experience in drinking. I look at my previous posts and sometimes think I sound too positive when others so obviously suffer. But we need this strength building phase for the challenges that lie ahead. As some here say, it's our gift to ourselves. Yet others benefit. Good luck and make that exercise work for you. Endorphins are amazing..

Chilling on our heated rug drinking green tea with two mini dachshunds wrapped around me on a rainy Friday nite. Made it home sober after a near miss; my steering wheel said "no Kip, drive me sober and enjoy the here and now." Good thing Ilistenedd to a wise machine.. Day 20. Thank you all for being here..let us shine this weekend..

[marky mark]

Early Saturday Morning and the weekend begins. Try not to put a lot of thought into "the weekend" thing. for many of us Monday after work is a reason to drink or Thursday morning or Arbor Day etc etc etc. Focus on today. I will not drink today. Take massive action today. Thanks to everyone who posts.

[AlisonUK]

Morning all. It's 11.00am Saturday morning here in old Britannia. Day 21. It was a close call for me last night folks. Quite a lot of whiskey left in the bottom of a bottle which my husband couldn't manage to finish off! I should have poured it away but that is HIS booze and not mine. I cleaned my teeth and got into bed. Phew. Anyway another day begins. Iv'e agreed to be a cab tonight for my parents so that feels good.(for myself and financially for them). Bryan........I'm afraid Micky Mouse etc would put me well and truly back on the bottle big time. No offence to disney per say but it's all not for me. I worked in the USA for six months and lived in Maryland. I then visited all the canyon's and national parks. Amazing natural wonders that USA has to offer. We have Disneyland Paris not far away but I would still rather boil my head. I'm sure I'm going to get a Disney backlash over this but please remember that I'm a stuffy Brit LOL. Anyway, I'm late with the dog walk...keep true to yourself and I forgot to add, those nightmares soon go. Love and light. Alison.

[Molly]

I felt so good last night, cozy and sleepy, that I went to bed at 8pm. So here it is - 3:30am - and I'm wide awake! Today I am going to do some money-making work, take a walk in the rain, clean out my kitchen cupboards, make some chicken soup and home-made rolls, and NOT DRINK! Have a great and sober day, everyone.

[James G]

Day 58 today...always said counting days is a waste of time but like others have said...it can be used as a positive too. Anyway, closeting in on2-months.

Work has been firing off big stress events that would have caused me to drink in the past to relive this stress.

Not happening this go around. I mentioned to my wife that the stress has always been there for me with my work, (I manage 18 field staff and an area that covers a quarter of the state) and I would drink to escape it.

Not anymore, must continue to grow and develop this new mind set. I am in charge, not alcohol. I have used exercise/running as an alternative for over 10 years but would still drink.

That cycle to me felt counterproductive. I knew in my heart that the drinking needed to end to achieve true balance.

Sleep continues to be so peaceful for me...even after a rough work day yesterday. That benefit alone is reason enough to stay the course.

I don't get to personal with all on this site...but I want each and every one of you to know you are all part of the reason I am closing in on 2-months.

Please keep up your battle with abstinence, and I hope in some little way I can be part of your success in the journey to sobriety.

[Midwest Sue]

There is a common theme here. As hard as it may be to reject the bottle, it soon becomes clear that everything in life is better without it.

We're starting to get our marriage back through massive action. We used to sit in front of the tv every night with drink after drink in hand. Last night we went to an opening for a photo exhibit. Plenty of free wine, but we each enjoyed a bottle of water and the clarity to experience the moment, together. Out of place among the drinkers? Not at all. Finally experiencing life as we should. (For us, this small action was massive.)

Thank you all for your inspiration and stay sober today.

Sue

[Samantha]

JamesG congrats on 58 days! Thats fantastic and you sound strong. I always felt it was one day at a time for me too but I also always recognized my anniversaries. 30 days, 60 days etc. I made note of them because when I hit those anniversaries it was a way to let the alcoholic in me know I'm getting stronger and your getting weaker. Because after the alcohol withdrew from my system it became a mind game. And I was tired of the alcoholic outsmarting me! Stick with it no matter how tempting it might get at times and life gets better. After awhile the voices to drink quiet down.

[Kip]

Forum reading insight.. we're not quitting drinking but starting sobriety.. I like the here/nowness of this viewpoint... JamesG 58 rocks..great job. Off to fill the pm w a movie (tinker, tailor, soldier, spy)..

Hang in there this saturday friends...

[Beth]

Thank you to Patrick for this site and Molly for getting me over here. I am now 22 hours since passing out on my last drink. I found this site a few hours ago and have been doing a lot of reading. I am so encouraged by your stories. I am rooting for all of you like I know you. Your stories are mine. So many years in oblivion, hating myself for hurting everyone around me. Waking up everyday acting like I knew what happened the night before only to trick my family into giving bits n pieces of how and when I got to bed. My desperation starts today. I am so grateful to find a place like this. I am a completely private person and would never share my addiction with anyone. This is a great step for me.

[Midwest Sue]

Beth, welcome! Congratulations on taking the first step.
For the rest of today do anything to distract yourself. Just don't drink today. You will survive.
Be good to yourself. Ice cream, candy... and keep drinking lots of water. Read as many articles here as you can. Go to bed early with a good book. Let us know how you feel tomorrow.
Sue