How to stop drinking

[John2012]

Morgan,

Sorry you slipped. I know you are working you ass off right now for each hour so this probably felt like quite a punch in the gut. We have all been there and none of us are down on you. Pick yourself back up, dust off and start again.

It may sound strange, but By being honest and putting this stumble on this forum, you really helped me. I love the positivity of this sight but it is also good for me to see that the struggle is real and it can get you if you let your guard down.

My thoughts are with you tonight. Don't let it win. You can do it!

[Sally]

Sue - congrats on 25 days - congrats everyone else from day1's to whatever...never quit quitting - that is my motto...you CAN do this - as hard as it is. Just keep reminding yourself that you are worth it - that you do not want to be a prisoner to alcohol anymore - that this is your life and you are taking it back!!! Life is so much better without alcohol in the mix.

[nomoredayones]

Thank you for all the kind and incredibly helpful posts.
Today is Day 1. Again. I feel completely demoralized and hopeless.
It is such a strange thing. I felt so GOOD yesterday (it would have been my 4th day sober). I exercised and got a good deal of things I needed to do accomplished. I was also feeling physically and emotionally better. The anxiety was almost completely gone.
Then I got the STRONGEST urge for wine. I had it for hours and eventually went out and bought 2 bottles of wine. I drank them both.
I feel horrible today - physically and mentally. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I have literally been trying to stop drinking for almost 2 years. Within those 2 years, the longest amount of time I had sober was about 80 days (in a row). I get a few days together (the 4th day seems to be the day the cravings hit me hard) and I KEEP giving in. What is wrong with me? I feel like I will never be able to create a sober life. Alcohol will kill me if I don't stop drinking.....

[marky mark]

Morgan move past the demoralization and hopelessness, that is the alcohol speaking, YOU HAD THREE DAYS OF SOBRIETY!!!! I have never had 80 days!!! Whats wrong with you and all here is called addiction......nothing more nothing less. This simply was not your time. you get to start over and over. Learn and move forward. Stay sober today!

[Sunny]

Well there you go Morgan, you've learnt a crucial lesson that day 4 is a key day for you. Keep that in mind and prepare for that day, lots of water, a steam or sauna if possible, perhaps drink 4 large cartons of orange juice ... Whatever it takes focus on beating day 4 this time

[Bryan]

Hello everyone, my name is Bryan. I'm new to this site and new to the concept of "quitting drinking". I've struggled with abusing alcohol since high school and I'm now 37, married and father of 3 beautiful kids. I've never been abusive in my drinking and have always been extremely functioning. But I also know that my drinking is causing my depression and anxiety, and I have so much more potential. Primarily hiding the drinking and doing it after the kids are in bed. My drinking has been quite the thorn in my relationship with my wife though for some time. Last night I "apparently" (ie drunk) told my wife that I was thinking about killing myself the last few weeks. I will not lie, the past few weeks have been really tough through issues with my career and financial issues. But in my sober moments I never really thought of actually ending my life. This really scared me. Why would I have said this and if I really don't remember saying it did it come from my subconscious? What kind of horrible person says this to his wife that he loves? What if my young children overheard this? I've decided to make a change. Yet I'm scared to death of failing. I've only had a brief stint away from alcohol a couple of times. This first was "to lose weight" (embarrassed to admit I had a problem). The second time was because of a 10 day hospital stay. Neither lasted very long and the motive of doing it "for me" was never really present. I guess my first move is to throw out all the alcohol in my house this evening (and I have a lot). I know none of you know me yet but please keep me in your prayers. Day 1 starts today.

Sincerely,

Bryan

[Sunny]

I'm on day 11, doing good and feeling healthier already .... Been thinking of alcohol all the time though. During the last 20 years my record has been about 28 days about 5 years ago. I remember that 28th day feeling like I'd go crazy if I didn't down a few beers, then I was back to my usual regular drinking and pretending and managing to hide that I may have a problem. Got off beer for lent last year, I replaced it with regular White whine which I actually don't like.. How crazy is that. Lol

[Sunny]

Good for you Bryan, I know exactly how you feel, and similar circumstances...

[marky mark]

Way to go Sunny..........Bryan your story is not unique even a little bit. Yes pour all the alcohol out and I think all of us has relapsed on this forum. Stay sober today and keep posting. We all are struggling with addiction, I have been blessed with not having shame from it and telling any and all I am a drunk, who has a home and job and friends and family etc etc etc. Focus on today....Go back and read as much as you can on this site.......

[Midwest Sue]

Bryan, I am new here also and know exactly how you feel. You can do this. Read the articles on this site. Tell your wife you are ready to change and ask her to bear with you. If my husband and I could finally get sober weeks behind us, I believe anyone can.
Sue

[marky mark]

Dominic........we get that you don't believe in God or a fairy tale or fiction as you've stated. There may be some here that do. The forum is about sobriety only. Let it go when someone mentions it. He was not asking you directly to pray for him, just a post about sobriety. I really am not trying to anger you at all. Our journey is the same with many different paths.

[Molly]

Welcome to the club, Bryan. I'm just finishing up Day 4, so I can't give you much in the way of meaningful advice. My goal is to not drink today. Tomorrow I'll get up and set my goal to not drink that day. And so on and so on.

[Molly]

Bryan, keep a watch on your depression and anxiety. I thought getting out of my horrendously stressful situation would help (along with 'slowing down' my drinking). I found that my depression lingered and even got worse! I'm now on Celexa and have lost the depression symptoms. Depression is an illness that can be treated. It can't be muscled through or avoided through sheer willpower. You probably have good reasons for your depression, especially in this financial environment, even with a loving family. Once you've been sober for a while, if you still feel bad, please see a doctor. Just my two cents.

[Bryan]

Wow. Thanks for all the kind words of support. I'm getting ready to put all of my alcohol on the kitchen table when my wife walks in this evening and invite her to help me pour everything down the kitchen sink. My biggest fear is not following through on my commitment. I'm working on my pride issues. I think the theme here is "not drinking today". Then wake up and repeat. Sorry to offend anyone here about the prayer thing. If I didn't have my faith I would really be lost. And Molly, thanks for the advice on the depression. I was on Celexa for a time but didn't like the side effects. I will definitely keep an eye out for any mishaps. I'm hopeful that this will be the beginning of many future posts (successful).

[Christy]

Bryan-welcome to the forum. Are you afraid that if you throw away the alcohol, you see yourself failing if you drink again? Don't let pride get into the way of the first step in becoming a non-drinker. You have to start there first. Don't fear what could be the best thing you could do for yourself and your family.
I'm also trying to get off Celexa right now and try to handle my depression more "naturally". I've been off of it a little over a week now because i didn't like the side effects either. Don't aplologize for the prayer thing either. Like Marky said we are all on this same journey, different paths, and I would also be lost if it wasn't for my faith.
Molly-great job on Day 4 and many more to come. You can do it!
Best wishes to you all that are new here, Sunny, Elliedad, Marky, Midwest Sue, and others new to here. You are all in the right place. Come visit some of us on the "longtimer" forum and see how once you get that far, that it can be done. It's so worth it guys!

[JacquieC]

Hello All, Welcome Bryan. Good to hear you giving it a try. Well done Morgan on stepping up to the plate. Don't think of it as failing but think of it as having 3 days in a row under your belt!!!! You know you can do that now. I am on day 13 with my sisters birthday lunch planned on Sunday. You would imagine that being my sister she would be understanding but in all honesty she likes it when I fail things and was very smug when I failed last time. If nothing other than sibling rivalry I will be determined not to fail this time..... Only 2 hours for me and then is off for the weekend. Have a safe and sober one and lets get another 2 days under the belt

[Eric]

Bryan, very good to hear from you and I think we can all relate to your story. I had become some that I did not know, did not want to be, and was spiraling downward very fast. My drinking had been excessive but functional for a long time, but suddenly it all started to fall apart and fall apart quickly. I did not know what to do about and I had no more options (I had tried every trick and they all led back to excessive drinking). Sobriety takes massive action and a massive commitment. My biggest struggle with not drinking is not that it will make me feel better in the short term, but that it will make me feel familiar. Sobreity can be very uncomfortable for many reasons and for quite a long time. Stick with it, it does get better and easier. I look forward to hearing from you.

[AlisonUK]

Hi All
Day 20 for me. Bryan, everything that you have said has made complete sense but only to us on this sight as we all know what it's like. I was on antidepressants mixed with the booze. There is not point taking them whilst you are still drinking as Alcohol is a depressant and the tabs won't work. It's fighting fire with fire. I don't have any alcohol in my house except a box of my husbands beer which is sitting under the table where I am typing this. It would take me too long to 'get me there' with beer so I look at with this attitude, not forgetting it makes you bloated, gassy and uses up too much toilet roll LOL (girls only of course) My parents are going out Saturday night so I have offered to drive them and pick them up. They are happy with this one and shuts up the drinking devil. Molly......I was heartbroken reading your story. A serious reason to self medicate. You are on the right site for help. I love coming back from the dog park in the morning and logging on to read these posts. Truly insperational. Elliesdad, nice to see another Brit in the pack. Mean't to add that ages ago. Morgan...hang on in there. Although I'm on day 20 (longest time in years) I am under no illusion that this is forever but today, I ain't picking up. I can't stand the self loathing, failure etc etc and the near to tears in the morning crap. There is nothing better than waking up knowing exactly what you have done and said the previous night! I had to come off Facebook because I was drunk typing.........got me into trouble. Anyway global friends. Stay positive and chuck the poison down the sink!!!!! Alison

[marky mark]

i got your private message. Eric my story is the same and it fell apart quickly. Bryan you can do this!! You will have good days and then bad days but if you keep trying the good days will add up. there is no time line. You get to start new everyday. I am on day 15. I will not drink today. I have started over a many many times. Morgan, how are you holding up? Midwest Sue, way to go. You're ten days ahead and that seems like a life time to me but got to get through today. AllisonUK, Molly, Jacquie, John, Sunny way to go. Lets stay sober today

[nomoredayones]

Welcome Bryan.