Thank you Kevin.
I know how you feel Molly. I have stopped drinking more times than I can count. Don't give up hope and don't stop trying. When I have those "down" periods of the day and evening I tell myself "If I stay away from the wine, I never have to be in this place again." It feels like an (emotional) roller-coaster but I so very much want to stay sober.
I like goofballs Mark!
Morgan
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Hi Molly, I see your avatar but not sure I recognize it? Is it cocker spaniel?? I had a crazy springer spaniel that passed away last march. that added too some of my issues dealing with drinking and life but he stuck around long enough to teach me how important it is to be sober to take care of the ones we love humans or animals. I love dogs myself. they dont judge.
That's Ginger, my old toy red poodle. She died in 2009. She helped me through multiple knee surgeries and gave me lots and lots of love. I miss that sweet little girl, and her brother Cedar. I'll find a better pic.
Hello All,
I've been reading the forums for a couple of weeks. My husband and I are both in our 50s and finally decided (well, he decided first and I joined in 6 days later) to eliminate alcohol from our lives. We have both talked about it forever. We've blamed each other. We've tried before and always failed, separately and together. We finally realized that we were setting a horrible example for our 16 yr old son through our daily drinking and time is running out to model a different way of life.
We now have over 3 weeks behind us. If you are struggling in the early days, I want you to know that it does get better! (Day 3 was horrible for me.)
These are the things that have helped me:
-Keeping a journal that I carry with me. In it I write my daily routine starting with a morning weigh-in, any tasks I need to remember, how I'm feeling (what frustrates me, who pisses me off), what I feel good about, etc. In the first days I kept a daily "craving scale" but found that I can now eliminate that.
-There is a free app I installed on my iPhone called Quitter. When I need a pat on the back for the time spent sober, it helps to look at it. It also tells me how much money I've saved! As of now I'm ahead 3 weeks, 2 days, 16 hours and $142.
-Of course it helps tremendously to be doing this with my spouse. I don't know if I could resist all urges if he were in the same room with a drink when I'm feeling weak.
I love the simplicity of the advice to
1. Put NOT DRINKING above all else and
2. Take action every day to improve your life
Remember that the booze is a dirty rotten liar. It made us think we needed it to feel good. There is so much life to experience that is much richer when you're sober. Believe it!
Looking forward to sharing with you on this journey.
Sue
Ginger looks cool Molly Im sure she is looking after you running with all the good dogs!
Welcome Midwest Sue your in a good place.
Wow, what a first post Sue!!..welcome! So good I read it twice and saved it, thanks!
Hi everyone. I made it to day 7! Whew. Now onto the next 7 days – one day at a time. This is a great forum and I do find I read many times each day and really look forward to each and every post. The time difference here in Australia can be a bit of an issue in that I’m probably sleeping whilst many other members are going about their day – and vice versa. Anyway, that’s okay for today I am feeling much better. The night sweats seem to have subsided and I look forward to waking up and not being hungover. As I am still quite new here I thought I would attempt to post a few words to other members. I apologise in advance to those persons I do not post to directly, but please know you all are important in my recovery and I appreciate you being here to help me.
Sam: I too struggle with finding the motivation to make lifestyle changes. Not only that, I find it’s a case of knowing which aspects of my lifestyle I need to change. Sometimes it is obvious (eg. don’t drink, don’t smoke, get some exercise, eat healthfully), but it’s difficult sometimes gaining the momentum. I liked Patrick’s article where he talks about tackling one thing at a time. I sometimes think about how I might achieve long term sobriety, knowing that I need to make changes, but I also think that if I worry about the future too much it may just overwhelm me. So, for me it is still just one day at a time. Hang in there.
Kip: That’s great you find your personal power in exercise – I only wish I could do the same! Oh well, in time. Good luck with your new position in your company. I sure imagine not drinking will help you in this regard. I think you must be at day 17 now – congratulations. I like the positive vibe in your posts.
Allyson: Good on you for making it to day 2. I think each of us here knows that it is not easy task – it might sound easy to some, but the reality can be quite difficult. Bummer about having a cold at the moment. I haven’t been feeling really great lately as well and I know that feeling unwell can really have an impact on one’s resolve to remain sober. I am still smoking after many many years; it sure sounds like you have the determination to succeed and you did with becoming a non-smoker. Get well soon.
AlisonUK: Go the skinny jeans – well done! I’m also looking forward to getting back into the many trousers, jeans and shirts I have in the wardrobe (some of them new or hardly worn). Congratulations on 17 days.
JamesG: Congratulations on your impending 2 months of sobriety. You are so right about the double-edged sword! One day at a time.
Mel: It’s so great you and your friend could laugh your asses off without the need to drink. I look forward to being able to do the same again. Good luck with your new diet and the job interviews.
Sylvane: I think you are right on the money when you say all this discipline makes us stronger. Giving away one’s personal power to alcohol is so easy – getting our power back is the kicker.
John: Good on you for committing to 30 days of sobriety. I wish you the best of luck. I’m taking it one day at a time for the moment, but look forward to the day I can say I have 30 days sober.
JacquieC: Hello to a fellow Aussie. Well done on reaching day 10. I trust your dinner went well.
Elliesdad2006: Wow, 17 days of being a non-drinker and non-smoker – that is fantastic! I don’t think I could tackle the smokes at the same time as the alcohol, so I really congratulate you for your efforts. Keep it going.
Marky mark: 12 days – awesome! Don’t listen to that little demon voice – punch it back!
Nomoredayones: Congratulations on day 3! Keep it up. You appear to have gained so much confidence and positivity (spelling?) in this short space of time (although I know it probably hasn’t felt like a short space of time)!
Molly: Well done for making it over what is a huge hurdle – day 1. Hang in there and keep reading and posting; I have found these two things to be of great inspiration to me.
Midwest Sue: Welcome. Thank you for a very inspiring and informative post. Congratulations to you and your husband for achieving 3+ weeks. I started a journal 7 days ago (have never done that before) and I too find it a really great tool for releasing unwanted emotions and stresses. Thanks for the information about Quitter – I’ll definitely be checking that out.
To all those I haven’t written to directly, I thank each and every one of you. Your participation on this forum has helped me tremendously. Thank you. I trust everyone has a sober day today.
Congratulations, JeffR1, on 7 days!! Waking up with no hangover, a clear conscience and no lost memories is one of the greatest benefits. Hang in there!
Thank you Midwest Sue. Too true about the clear conscience and no lost memories.
I have downloaded Quitter and it seems I have saved over $90 in just 7 days!
Have a great day.
That's great, Jeff! Now use that money to treat yourself to something that will be of greater value to you than liquid poison, or save up for something really special!
Sue
You're right, Elliesdad. When you really look at the time and money spent over the years.... what a waste! Funny how I've always been frugal about most things, but if the liquor was running low there was no hesitation about buying more -- whether we could afford it or not.
It IS interesting to add it all up ... I'll download Quitter and keep track. At the end of my mother's life, while she was dying of throat cancer, we calculated she had smoked over 500,000 cigarettes. Imagine how much time and money that represents!
Hi friends..wow, so many good insights! I can't keep up..Trying to catch up on past posts and drinking thru a training firehose at work.
Sue, welcome and well put. You're among friends here. My spouse is joining me on weekdays. You are right; strength in numbers.. The simple advice is great.
Jeff, thanks man! Day 17 it is and feel better after a week of being tired, nite sweats..my positive attitude attempts are very deliberate and a bit uncharacteristic. But it's better than staring into the abyss that we all know at some level. Btw, I like the bike on your profile. What kind is it..R1 maybe..? I love bikes ( and bicycles) for their mechanical beauty, but play w sports cars cause I would probably smear myself on a bike..lol. Good job on day 7 down in Melbourne. If you even start exercise in a small way you will see huge benefits. And you have a cheering section here, including Several folks here from Australia. I've been to NZ many times but never across the ditch. You guys have a wonderful corner of the world. Enjoy it sober!
Gotta go read and study..Good nite and day to all...let's shine..
It's interesting to find a large block of time tonight - available for doing fun and/or necessary things. Whereas I would usually be drinking in front of the TV, I am making granola tonight. This afternoon, I took a walk in the new snow. Lovely!
Morning everyone it 4:30am in Dallas as im getting ready to leave for work. Day 13! Just wanted to say thanks to all who post, there IS strength in numbers. thanks JeffR1 and hello. Midwest Sue and Molly. Kip you mentioned a training fire hose, are you in the fire service? Morgan, this is day four and it is always the day that i started feeling better mentally physically emotionally. You can do this. Take action!!!! Hope all stays sober today, just today
Hi to all the global members. Day 18 for me. I was in a foul mood yesturday. Can't put my finger on it though. All I can say is that my mood would have been 1000x worse if I was on the poison! There are so many people on this sight that are truely fantastic (and that means all of you). We are all in this together. A virual club house. My labrador is giving me the incentive to get out and I have adopted a zero tolerance with Patrick speaks about. As soon as I get the thought, I get my walking boots on or indulge my brain into a difficult crossword book. These work for me. Also, my dog, loves me no matter how I feel. I do smoke though. Not a great deal as I roll my own and put a little filter in the end. Not a glamerous look I know, but one thing at a time. I came off antidepressants in October and Lanszoprasol (antacid) due to lack of stomach lining. Clean and sober now. I can't look too far ahead. All to overwhelming so I take it day by day because I can cope with that. My husband is 3 days sober now and I think that he has seen a change in me that he has not seen in years. As it's been mentioned many times, the kids notice when you think they don't, especially teeagers. Anyway. Thats my post for today. Take care everyone............... from a pain free stomach Alison.
Wow! Crazy dreams and agitation last night! Day 3 starting - I will complete it without drinking.
Congratulations on day 3 Molly - well done! I understand the crazy dreams are just part of the process, so too is the agitation. Keep going.
I had something come up yesterday and I felt the agitation and anger building in me. I've had a range of emotions in the past week (some of which I probably would have had a drink in the past to mask), but I have been able to manage the emotions in a more effective manner than I would have done before. Yesterday though I actually did think for a short while about taking a drink. Thankfully, I reached for my journal instead! I just wrote it out and it helped me gain more perspective on what I was really upset about and helped me to release the emotions. I felt much calmer as a result and so today I am at day 8.
Hello to all forum members. I trust everyone enjoys a sober day today.
PS: Kip. The photograph on my profile is my bike - an R1. I've only been riding for about four years, so I am still very much a novice. Sports cars are great too - I have a Lancer Ralliart now and love driving. Thank you for your encouragement regarding exercise; I would really like to move forward in this regard as I have felt the benefits of exercise in the past. Have a great day.
Hi all. Like so many, I found this site after googling how to stop drinking. I actually found it last year and did three months sober straight off then along comes the silly season and I was back into it. Have stopped again for about two weeks but am starting to hang out again. I suffer really badly with "alcoholic remorse" after a binge (which is what I do) and can't seem to quieten the mind. Anyone relate to that? So you would think that I would stay away from the booze lol but it starts calling me again. I am exercising as often as I can fit it in which helps. And reading on this site as much as possible which is a big help. Looks like we are all on a similar journey.
Hey Makettle - welcome back and, yup, I had (have) really intense post-binge remorse. Tied to, but not exclusively about feeling physically bad. The problem, I found, was that I would spend a day almost literally beating myself up emotionally and mentally about slipping and then go right back to the bottle. That see-saw was driving me almost mad - the hypocrisy and the broken promises to myself and the dangerous (increasingly so) addictive element to my behavior. I went from bingeing with self-recriminations and long periods of abstinence to increasingly out of control binges with constant self-hate and psychological pain that only went away with - you guessed it - drinking! Breaking the cycle and being conscious about stopping the drinking together with an end to self-defeating psycho-trips . . . started to make the difference. I'm not perfect, and I am still struggling, but that cycle is gone and that makes not-drinking to self-medicate easier. And easier every day I don't drink.
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