How to stop drinking

[neil]

Its not so much an access issue its costs lol....but i am unfamiliar with USA on addiction services,,,avail of what you can though...i dont think id handle inpatient rehab but am hoping to do outpatient. This site is very quiet lately i think,less posting anyhow

[Sally]

Hey James - I didn't know you could pull up just your old posts - how do you do it? I would be interested to spend my New Year reviewing my life on this board this past year. Thanks.

[James G]

Sally,

Just click on your name on one of your post . Then click on the option of "VIEW FORM POST" Once you're in you can click on any post to view the content. Good luck!

[Sally]

Too cool - I know how I will be spending my New Years Eve now (LOL) - reflecting on this past year - planning for the future.... thanks James.
Have a great day everyone!! Life is good if you just don't drink:]

[Allyson]

So good to log on this morning and feel connected to all of you, near and far, working to stay sober and thereby keeping me company. Neil I so appreciate your comments on meetings and on line forums- nothing is perfect but I usually find more benefit for myself than not. If someone is annoying by complaining or whatever then I try to remind myself that it's that much more important to offer my best so that someone new or others trying to get sober don't get driven away. I did have one very negative experience in the past with a woman in AA who I'd asked (without knowing her well enough) to be my sponser. She ended up being very controlling and overstepping boundaries with me. It really turned me off completely to AA for a long time. I still prefer this forum but I'M not averse to AA now and then. I'd go more often probably if it were more convenient and I had more time. I do find for myself that it's important to pick and chose among meetings and groups. As with any organization there's a lot of variation. I'm also very restrained in sharing initially, not that I won't share anything but I find it's better to really get to know people before putting much of myself out there. One of my past problems was being very naive and making myself much too vulnerable without having the "the lay of the land." This was true not only at AA and things, but also school, work, etc. I had to do quite a bit of growing up and getting knocked around before I learned how to conduct myself more skillfully.
Looking forward to a sober 2012 and of course seeing 2011 off on a sober note. Best to you all. It's so good to come on here and find new posts even with the busyness of the holidays. I'm so grateful that you're all here.

[kevin2]

Hey, good morning to everyone. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I am just getting caught up reading some back posts,..great to see some of the new folks hanging in there,..James, Jeff, Neil,..Allyson. I had made it 17 days but then caved for some unknown reason (auto-pilot I guess) two nights ago. No real trigger to speak of,..the wife and kids stayed behind with family in NC this week but I had to be back at work on Tues. morning,..so being home alone, along with the relief of another Christmas behind us, was enough to do me in. It was wierd in the sense that I knew in the back of my mind,..from the time I woke up Tues. morning that I would drink that night,..and I did. I just didn't do a good job of making the commitment to not drink today "no matter what",..and let the thoughts just build in my head all day. So anyway, back to day 2 for me,..but I must say that I did learn alot in those 17 days sober,...one, that I CAN do it,..and two,..that life truly is much better and all things are much smoother without alcohol and that nasty cycle to struggle through.

[Ruth]

Hi guys- just a quick check-in. I used to go to 12 step groups for children of alcoholics... funny, right? Should have known better and all that. Anyway, with my own alcohol problem, I found the idea of working the steps daunting, and it was one more thing actually keeping me from getting sober. I also had a problem with the powerlessness thing. Well, and the higher power thing. The way I think about it, I am powerless over how alcohol affects me, but I DO have the power to not pick up that first drink. That works for me, and the spirituality part is necessary, but to each his own, that's what I say. And this forum is a great support. Of course there are always going to be ideas and personalities that some get rubbed the wrong way by. In life, that is what happens- in families, at work, everywhere. My suggestion is to engage in a little self-censorship and not post while angry. I second Neil- "take what you want and leave the rest", and trust that everybody here has their own issues and be respectful of everyone's journey.

[Dreamweaver]

Interesting article about New Year's resolutions and why they don't work:
http://www.energyofmindtherapy.com/m...ons-dont-work/

[Mel]

Hey all, it's been a bit of a break - mainly because I couldn't remember my log in info while at my parent's house. It's day 9 (had a wee bit of a relapse early last week while traveling) - this stretch is due to being at my parent's, who still (bless their hearts) believe I've been easily living the sober life for almost two years now. If only. My father was not drinking as much, and that made it easier - not in the house, not having to see someone else enjoying (or over-enjoying).

I'm going to be spending New Year's with a new friend - who is not a big imbiber, but does love her marijuana. Which I have absolutely no desire for . . . I'm hoping it will be a lowkey (yeah, really lowkey) holiday with no pressure. I've got job interviews next week - not a lot, but something. And I need/want to be clear-headed and feeling in control when I go into that situation.

Okay, lots of good thoughts on the forum - esp. about our own approach to group dynamics. No group is perfect, someone is going to piss you off or annoy you, and that's just the way of things - esp. in a self-selecting group of addicts, all emotionally raw and trigger-happy. The challenge is to work on you, and not lash out at the other struggling, hurting ball of angst . . . that does no one any good, not the annoyee or the annoyer. Happy Sober New Year's to all!

[nicolelee]

Happy New year everyone! I am back and ready to stay sober! We are planning to have a New Year's Eve party but my husband was going to get a keg! This was before today, which is the day I decided to take action again. So, he ordered the keg already and we have invited the guests, what to do? I feel like I will be able to resist, but it will be right in front of me! I will talk to my husband and see if he wants to cancel it, but probably not. I will watch everyone else get blitzed I guess. My daughters will keep an eye on me, that helps. I am sure I will figure something out, I need to make a plan of action for myself...any suggestions?

[neil]

Hi guys n girls,
Hope things are ok Nicolelee...A party in your own house is always hard work drinking or sober so good luck. Maybe text friend who knows ur situaution n invite them round for moral support...

Reading The Duchess of York's book "Finding Sarah" ,thats what my hope is in sobering up n facing my demons ,that i will find myself,the better self...guess we all strive for that.
I have been invited to a house party for new years eve,it will b a non alcohol/drugs event so would be ok,might go. To be honest id prefer to stay in and watch telly alone n relax...but am dreading my sisters who i live with will decide to have people over...people as in people im not mad about n who wud be up all nite ... if that happens id just stay in my room actually...hate invasive people in the house....dont mind normal folk or family lol...normal folk...i mean people who dont tgake over....i am thining as i type sorry...head always jumbled with ideas ,fears and thoughts,which is why my sleep pattern so bad lately....

I am looking forward to new years day more and 2012,it feels like the drawing line on a difficult n traumatic year n period of life...so it has a little more significance for me this year the passing of the old....God willing if im still alive this time next year i think my life will have changed enormously and that is what gives me the hope and motivavtion to contstantly keep trying...every day is a gift when ur sober,every day is a blur when drunk...every day is the same when i drink....

[Sally]

Nicolelee - that is a very precarious position to put yourself in. My only suggestion would be to write out some of your worst regrets and then read them periodically thru the night to remind yourself how you will feel the next day should you drink.

Neil - you are doing great - hang in there - and best wishes for the New Year. You too Kevin, Allyson, James, Jeff, Julliet, Ruth, Carole, Samantha, everyone else:] I am planning a quiet New Years - going to visit my 88 year old dad - can't get into to much trouble there (LOL). Remember 2012 is our year - a year for massive changes and a new life - alcohol free!!

Mel - good to hear from you. Good luck on the job interviews. I am lighting some incense for you Ohhhmmmmm

[Pearl]

Hi All: hmmm, some keyboard therapy here. I feel off, I can’t explain it better, just off. I suppose the fact that I’m not drinking is very good. I have eaten too much sugar this week instead of drinking, that can’t be good. I don’t usually eat sugary things, so this feeling of being hungover while not drinking is new. I’m sure it is a substitution, wanting to fit in somewhere and if not drinking, then eating junk to excess. Ok, gotta stop that.
Nicolelee: When I have been in your shoes, I make a plan: I know what I’m going to drink and it is handy. And very important to me: it has to be in a pretty glass, I have some really pretty large wine glasses that take a full can of pop, I fill it up half way and voila’, who would ever know.
After that it is just the first alcohol drink I don’t have. I just don't have the first one. Quickly, people stop noticing what anyone else is drinking. And it is quite the event being sober around drinking people! A bit disconcerting a first, but interesting as the night goes on. I also find when I’m hosting and not drinking, I don’t need to fill everybody else’s glass up quite so often, just to cover the amount I’m drinking. We all win!
JeffR1 and Regina: Sorry I haven’t directly responded to you before. When I thank everyone on the forum, I mean EVERYONE. I worry that if I started naming names, then someone is forgotten, then they get to feel bad, (I’ve felt that way myself, and then said ‘stop it’). Truly, every post helps me. And if you feel the same way then you can know that we all feel that way. Thank you for being here. And thank you for putting your feelings out there so honestly, that takes guts!!
Happy new years eve eve everyone! Stay strong, don’t drink.

[neil]

My sleep apptern still mad,but just going with it,i know it will pass. Very few people seem to post now,as i posted 14 hours ago and only 2 posts since me,...
I guess i rely on site a bit much lately so disappointed when not lots of posts to read ...haha

[Eric]

Almost through the holiday season. I am glad to see everyone posting and doing well.

[Eric]

Neil, I know what you mean. I stopped posting because I wasn't seeing much feedback. I imagine after the 1st of the year more people will be back to post their stories of success or slips.

[Cordelia]

Hey all, writing this from Australia 1pm on 31st December 2011. This year has been tough but also the year I finally confronted the fact that I had become a problem drinker. This site has been a huge source of refuge as I've struggled with trying to reframe my drinking and move on from that phase of my life. I am incredibly grateful to all of you. Am I sober? Not quite but definitely getting there. I haven't made big steps but have made little ones and they are adding up. One thing I must prioritise for myself is finding outlets that are not alcohol related. Drinking had/has basically become my ONLY outlet for relaxation. With three kids I find it really hard to take time out and so that drink at the end of the day became a very quick and too-reliable 'out.' In about three minutes after the first mouthful my stress and worry and anxiety just dissipated....until the next day when the guilt and remorse and regret took over. What a horrible cycle. So anyway, I would like to thank you all and I wish you all some peace and relaxation as this year ends, and another one begins.

[neil]

Yeah Eric january is probably rehabs busiest month too,lol (laughing because i relate)..ive actually been on waiting list for over 2 months for treatment but i have feeling there a mistake so will contact them...i think outpatient be fine now,i did feel like it was good excuse in a way....oh i can drink til have rehab place...but then i found this site and began to change bit by bit,didnt stay stopped but began to stop lieing to myself and think clearer between binges...now stopped thank fuck. ps like the way you call yourself "sober and happy member"...

[neil]

Cordelia,hope you have love;ly new year, i know how u mean about trying to find non alcohol places to socialise ...

I feel in a good space of mind,frame of mind,sorry; this morning (10am Ireland ,31st dec)...but moods are bit erratic lately but that to be expected. I am trying to be relaxed about the annoying parts at minute,you know my not sleeping normal,moodiness and lack of energy...indeed they're all the same thing really...the cravings are what worry me most and my impulsive nature....but one day at a time....

Looking back (God willing) in few years time I think that I will always say 2011 was the most important year of my life,while i call it my worst ever year at times it also was the best in that it brought some great lastiung realisations...and brought wonderful people into my life with my mam been sick and dying then...and it awoke a side in me that id forgot i had too...the caring side and the competent side....but of course the booze will hopefully be the biggest wake up call....i want to b able to say in 30years time still(if im blessed with life still) 2011 was the last time i drank alcohol...imagine how amazing that will be...

As yet I don't plan on going to any party tonight, though i do have an invite to one non alcohol/drug one,as i mentioned yesterday i think...but kinda want to stay in and just relax...am going to finally do some work on my Visionboard...sorta like new years resolution thing....as for all the negativity about resolutions...i read the other day that those whose resolutions never work/last...are those who expect them to fail...little wonder so....that is also why i am now refusing to imagine drinking again as of now...not that i think it will be easy,i know it wont initially at least...but i dont want to set myself up for a fall with my thinking n imagination....

[Sally]

What better way to usher in the New Year than sober:] Just don't drink tonight - start 2012 out right - taking care of you!!
Think positive - think I am a non-drinker now, think about how foolish it is if you are considering tonight your "last fling", if you are like me you have already had a hundred last flings...just let it go and do what you know you have to do - quit once and for all and move on with your life. Wishing all of my SP friends a wonderful 2012!!