Day 3. Got the shakes and sweats and feel quite sick. Did other people get this? How long does it last? Just reinforces how much I was drinking.
I just wrote a long post only for my connection to go so it didnt upload,lol...
Anyhow feeling ok,trying to b positive and optimistic about sober living....trying to let go of my toxic relationship with alcohol and pubs and move forward finally after a period of snakes and ladders ....i mean like the board game i've got some days only to end up back on day one....my mind been the snake dragging me back....or maybe my addiction...am trying to separate myself from it, and hear my own true voice....this website has been great,,,it is getting me intouch with the voice in me thats mine not the drinks voice which i have mistaken as my own for so long...
Hi All: just checking in to say Hi!. Kat: hope your event went the way you wanted tonight!
Another day in, but I'm tired and going to bed, just wanted to pop in for a minute, get some strength and inspiration here, and onward ho.
Cheers John, I think i was writing about whether to change my phone number for the shorterm so i acnt text/call temtation...ive friends who dontd rink as much but are part of the drink scene ive been involved in too ong...so might help just to avoid everyone from that for a while...not because theyre bad people or even bad influence...but just because it keeps the euporic recall going too...I dont want to have to keep telling people im not drinking...as ive done it so much before only to go back so nobody wud take me serious anyhow and theyd laugh which wont do my resolve or confidence much good....
Another thing im wondering...does effects of alcohol make you dizzy,at times i get so dizzy and it can be scary and really annoying...at moment im early recovery,very early and also have flu but even when not sick per se i get dizzy spells,and confused...i got checked for diabetes and for vertigo before and i have neither thank God,so am hoping its a symptom of my active addiction that will go as i live sober....
Hi Neil, I've found that in the past year or so - I was getting dizzy spells. Both when I was actively drinking and when I wasn't - good to get it checked out, but hopefully the further you are from drinking the less that will happen.
Good posts the last few days - I'm facing a very very bad job season. With opportunities that I thought I should have drying up . . . I'm not very good at dealing with rejection. But am trying to stay sober, and not compound bad decisions with even worse ones (drinking). I don't know what to do if I can't get a permanent job . . . I guess that I'll have to start flirting with total self reinvention. Sigh. Okay, happy sober weekend everyone.
Mel, good luck! The job market is really bad, and academia is really suffering with budget cuts. Flirt with self invention but not with drinking! Glad to hear you are sticking with freedom from that beast!
Hi to new friends and old! Happy sober weekend.
Today marks 3 weeks of sobriety for me. Thanks to everyone for your shared experience, insights, suggestions and just listening. This morning I did some reading for my spiritual development, meditated for a bit, and then off to the farmers market. I am really enjoying this time. A big development is that this morning when I woke up I was dreaming. It seems like it has been a very long time since I had any dreams. Hello brain, it's good to see you again. I hope everyone has a wonderful and sober Saturday!
Day 1 damnit.. broke down last night and bought a bottle of wine, which I downed in about an hour only to pass out at 8pm. I let myself down and I checked out on my kid while we were watching a movie. I think it was the boredom that got me.. that and I couldn't quiet the voices in my head telling me 'wine is ok'.. I ended up staying up half the night afterwards. I feel like crap but I have to get right back on track and not have a pity party for myself. I noticed also yesterday was the first day I didn't post on this forum; this would be day 10 but it's day 1 instead. It is scary how easy it is to slip.
Jeff, glad to see you back and posting. Definitely pick yourself up and keep moving forward. It is very scary how easy it is to slip. The thought to drink is always very sudden and subtle for me. This time I have been following the suggestions in Patrick's articles and keeping myself busy enriching my life. Read his article on Relpase Prevention on the main site and most importantly: do the things that are suggested. Good look and enjoy today sober!
So, I've been reading a lot, trying to figure out WHAT to drink IF I ever drink again.. I would have thought wine, as it's supposed to also be good for you, comes from fruit etc, and it's usually what people choose as a "light" choice...right? WRONG! turns out some of us might actually be allergic to the phenols in wine, therefore getting easily and rapidly affected, making it hard to stop and at the end as we all know blackout and lose all memory..Anyone interested can look it up..Same as some people are allergic to gluten or lactose..
My main point right now is that maybe some drinks are definite no-no's for some people..Maybe my whole awful experience with alcohol would not have been that bad if I'd never drunk any wine in my life! Maybe if I had stuck to beer instead it would never had escalated to such a degree? I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud here, any feedback would be great..The only reason I'm saying all this is because people usually choose wine as a "safe" alcohol choice, that sounds better than for example vodka or whiskey that are considered "hard" liquor, when in reality it's just the opposite!
I'd be really interested to see what Patrick has to say too.. NOT because I'm advocating drinking any of the other options, but mainly to make some of us feel less bad about ourselves and the way we used to react to it!
(The reason why I'm saying all this is Jeff's post, and him thinking that "wine is ok", and I think most of us usually think so..)
Last edited by theodora; 12-10-2011 at 09:21 AM.
I tried everything at one point or another as the safe option. Nothing really worked for me because I always ended up chasing the buzz. In the end, I lost my taste for hard liqour, beer was making me fat and losing its appeal, red wine almost always gave me bad hangovers (even when drinking just a little), leaving only white wine. I could still drink that, but there was a limit before the taste also turned on me. The real problem was that I could never successfully control any of them. Playing jazz with a single malt didn't work. Playing Mozart with a red wine didn't work. Playing Allman Brothers with beer didn't work. Nothing did it for me, but that's only my own experience.
I need to post two apologies today. First, as several of you have pointed out to me, it was wrong and selfish of me to close the supplement and nutrition thread I started. There are so many intelligent people here that could benefit and contribute to such a thread that perhaps someone should start it back again. I closed it and I can't figure out how to reopen it. I was not claiming to be a physician, just passing on things I have learned through my years of study. I sincerely apologize. It is a subject I hold dear; I watched my father die from chemo treatments just three months after being diagnosed with cancer and my mother died from health complications from the prescription medications she was prescribed from her doctor. After I lost dad, I became a serious student, and after mom died I managed to almost immediately stop drinking for four years and became a devotee to natural health.
That brings me to my second apology. I apologize to everyone that has helped me to stay sober, but yesterday I gave in. I made it 40 days, but I guess 41 was not to be. I let something get under my skin that I should have let go, but I guess I wasn't far enough in my sobriety, part II, to be able to withstand the pressure. So Day 1 again, poured out the rest of it, and back to the battle. I think I'm going to take a few days off from posting to get my head right but I will be checking my PM's, so if you need anything let me know. Here's to never quitting quitting!
Ken, as a moderator I reopened the thread, restored your posts and deleted the one where you said you were closing it. If this is not ok, let me know and I will reverse.
Hey, you have given SO much to so many of us. Don't go away for a few days, please. Remember some of those quotes where you talked about what it is to be human - well, welcome to being human. You've picked yourself back up, so please include us in those early days again. I think it will help you and I know it will help others!
PS, Eric, I didn't restore your post on the other thread but I think you can if you want or send me a note and I will.
Going on day...Sweet 16
Well, last night went over without a hitch. Had a nice time Christmas shopping (how can that be?) with my wife, than off to dinner. When we had to wait for a table my wife suggested we wait at the bar. I obliged. She order a tab micro-brew and I order a diet coke. Before she said anything I replied that I will be the designated driver tonight . Her response to me was "GREAT" that sounds good. End of story! I had a fun time spending the evening with my better half without drinking alcohol!
Eric, you hit the nail right on the head when you say "Chasing the Buzz" rings so true...that is me all the way. Reason why I drink...get that illusive buzz! Now I'm chasing the sobriety buzz .
I used to think about no matter how buzzed you got, you would always return back to sobriety. Isn't that enough confirmation that our bodies are meant to be in a sober state? We always return back there (sobriety) no matter how medicated we get. Just an interesting thought I wrestled with in the past.
Ken1, you were of great help to me with your encouraging words. Besides you learning from your slip-up we all can take away something positive from it. For me it will make me more diligent to not let my guard down no matter what day I'm on. Now strap it up and get back in the game, we have your back brother!
James, that's an interesting idea. I used to often wonder what would happen if our body didn't return us to sobriety. What if we always stayed drunk or got drunker, even to the point of being sick, and our body never returned us to sobriety? Can't even stand the thought. I also used to wonder if I knew the next drink would be the one that caused cancer, would I still take it. I probably would have.
Ken, I am glad you are back and look forward to reading your posts. You are a valuable member here.
Carolcmod, thanks for the note. I will give it some thought, but I may leave it deleted. I'll let you know.
Ken, click on the link below. This video motivates me tremendously...Hoping it will do the same for and the rest...We are powerful beyond are means!
Yes! I love that Dragonfly .. choose YOU not the drink!
Today was day 4. I very nearly chose the drink today. A friend upset me and made me angry, right before we were having people over for lunch. It could have been so easy to just pick up a bottle of wine to have with lunch, and since I have not said anything to anybody, no one would be any the wiser ... except I thought of you guys.
All of you who have posted about your tough times and your accomplishments, the social occasions you have been to and made the decision to not drink. I thought to myself - no - do not let other people control your emotions and choices. You can't choose what happens to you, only the way you react to it. Drinking would have only made me angrier and more upset. So now I am posting at the end of day 4, sober and happy and so proud.
It's simple when you think about it. Just 2 things. Don't drink and grow. If we love ourselves, and our families then we will choose not to drink. The more we don't drink the more we will be able to love ourselves and our families.
This forum is my lifeline right now, and from the number of views, obviously to so many others. To Patrick and the administrators and the senior members, thank you, you probably don't even know how many people you have helped. To everyone else, I am thinking of you all every day and looking forward to hearing your progress!
OK gang. I think I've hit rock bottom. The wife mentioned divorce a few times the past couple of weeks, finances extra low, I feel sick all the time, and I am embarrassed at the way I look. I look and feel like a piece of shit the cat dragged in the back door. Alcohol is a depressant and too much for too long is also damaging psychologically. I have fears, quirks, phobias, fits of depression and suffer from excessive compulsive disorder. I know alcohol plays a large part of my problems because on those very rare occasions that I drink less than usual, the next day my symptoms are a lot less than what they usually are. Up until last night I had alcohol all over the house - cellar, workshop, garage, livingroom, bedroom - even a bottle on the kitchen countertop next to the coffeemaker. Enough to last a normal person a very long time. Well it's all gone, drank it in a week. My typical routine would be to go out today and stock up. This morning I said (again) enough is enough. I believe it's time for me to stop talking and time to act - while there is still time. Life is too short as it is without rushing it by and not being able to remember the night before. Recently two people I know very well were put in the hospital for serious health reasons and they never abused their bodies a fraction of what I do to mine. One of them passed away on Thursday. I am not going to buy any today and if I do, I am going to seek professional help first thing Monday morning. There are many places to get help within minutes of my home. I already investigated this. I'll keep you posted of any positive things that happen. If I don't post for a while it's because I failed and will come back after getting help. Good luck to All of you fighting this terrible disease. More power to All of you who are able to fight it. My fingers are crossed for All of us.
A few weeks ago I got a gift from the universe - it was this site and all the people who are posting on it. Just before I received this gift, I also reached my rock bottom. I was less than half the person I could be, and all because I had drunk the rest away. I looked and felt awful and my spirit and energy were thoroughly depleted. I looked at my life, and realised that I was short-changing my kids, my husband, my friends and family, and especially myself. I was so ashamed. Since then, I have struggled with the temptation to drink and, I admit, I have at times succumbed. Each time, though, I became a tiny bit stronger when the alcohol left my system and I confronted just how bad I felt afterwards, including any damage I'd inflicted upon myself or others. The shame has been the hardest thing for me, the realisation that I have been doing this for the better part of 10 years. I will admit that the thought crossed my mind just to keep on drinking, to drown the shame. I am not out of the woods, this will be a battle for a while, but what I am trying to say is - after rock bottom, there is only one way and that is up. Though it may be a struggle and may not happen all at one - IT IS WORTH IT.
Last edited by Cordelia; 12-11-2011 at 05:09 AM.
Wow. Some very powerful posts here. Peter, good luck to you and it is good you recognize the problem. I too was drinking away everything that I cared about. I was ashamed of just about every aspect of myself - my physcial condition, my deteriorated mental condition, my finances, my maturity and emotions, my job performace, my family performance.. I am so grateful that I found this site and somehow managed to have the strength to do what was suggested here. I am now beginning week 4 and feel very good. Things are getting better a little bit at a time. Again, good luck and seek help if you need it and when you need it.
Cordelia, hitting bottom for me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was surprised at how fast and how low it was, though. I never wanted to be in that position again. I never wanted to feel like that ever again. I had completely lost control of life and had no ability to move in any direction. I had absolutely no idea what my next move was going to be. Thankfully, I found the articles on this site and this forum. It is still early in my recovery, but there is no better feeling than being there for my family - reliably, regularly, and fully.