How to stop drinking

[Mel]

Hey everyone,

kjpb - thanks so much for asking. Today is day 3 sans alcohol, and as someone else mentioned - this is always the 'tester day'. Day 1, I'm usually hung over and feeling awful so drinking is not going to happen, Day 2 is all cupcakes and sparkles ("Gosh, sober is great - I don't feel like a truck hit me, la la la la"), then Day 3 . . . when the memory and mortification that crashed in on me at the outset is distant enough for my wheedling/cajoling alcohol-brain to start whispering in my ear again.

Patrick's recent articles really struck a cord with me - the whole, 'really, is this forever? waaaaaaa' bit and I re-read his piece on the 30 day trial. I'm committing to 30 days. The day at a time has always been a trap for me - and counting, focusing on the hours/days/minutes, has always been defeating in other areas of my life as well. I lost 100 lbs not by using a scale or calculating calories, but by ditching those obsessive habits. The kind of obsessive/abusive relationship I now have with alcohol - I used to have with McDonald's french fries. (sounds silly, really, but it was not pretty). Once I surrendered to my eating issues and moved on . . . I have not eaten another MickeyD's fry in over 10 years. If I live with the basic expectation that this is normal and normal feels good and alcohol is not a part of that . . . that is where I can see success happening.

Today is really going to be a test, however. Party tonight (going away of sorts for me and for another friend). To distract myself I just made an authentic from scratch mole negro (40 freaking ingredients). While not everyone at the party will be a heavy drinker - the host is a gregarious, friendly, need-a-buddy alcoholic. Tonight (and any night), I cannot be that buddy. I'm going to bring my own fancy soda and make myself stick to that. I can do this.

I decided to register as after my initial post and further reading - this is the place for me right now in my process of recovery.

[kjbp]

Mel, great to have you join us for 30 and for as long as you need. My brain is such an amusement park, that I waffle back and forth on the day-to-day and longer time periods. I know it's a forever, there is no option or question in my mind that for me, it has to be forever. Tried to many times... at the current moment, I'm counting days.

Mole, congrats! I've never tackled that one yet, but will have to. Cooking is a good distraction for me now, but I have had to resort to feeding my distractions to the neighbors and I'm lucky they are willing participants in my distraction!

Good luck tonight, Mel. You've got the right attitude. Maybe take along a cold, french fry in your pocket as a good luck charm? Whenever you feel anxious, just think about the fries...

[Samantha]

Hi Mel, if you make it through tonite you will feel great and you will do the 30 days i know it. I was about 4 days sober when i had a work function and not only free wine but free bottles of wine. I almost went for it. Then i remembered if i drank is that what i really wanted. Nothing would change. I just thought it needs to change. Life has to be better then this addiction. After i walked away sober that night i felt stronger. Like i had made a decision i was really going to follow through on. I hope that helps you. It sounds like you are going to be fine and we are all here for you. Dont drink tonight and life will start to get better

[Samantha]

Kjbp! I missed you! Glad you had a productive, fun, enlightening holiday!

[Sally]

Hi everyone! Mel - good luck tonight - if you hang in there you and I are on the same day - day3. And you're right it sucks!! Haven't slept at all the past two nights and I have been taking the melatonin - going to try some warm milk tonight. Plus day3 is bee-atch day for me - big time...I bit off quite a few heads today Look out world. (lol).. But I keep reminding myself that all of my friends here tell me it gets better, so I am going with that thought and the 30 days. Kjbp sounds like you had a lovely weekend - good for you girlfriend - I'm looking forward to experiencing the same. And thanks for the 5 markers - will be looking forward to them - and the music idea - I have a wonderful Ipod my husband bought me several years back and I only use it when I meditate, time to try other things. Samantha, Sylvane, Carol - so nice to hear from you....keep on posting.

[Samantha]

Hi Sally! It will only be today maybe one or two more and you will not be bitchy. Its ok and it will get better. I also take trytophan and gaba. Those work well for me so maybe it will help. Just take care of you tonight. I know you have a full house! But just focus on you and it will be better. I'm right with you.

[Sally]

I love you guys - thanks for being here. I am actually smiling now that I have had time to chill and read the posts. (bee-atch mode is slipping away LOL) Thanks Samantha (will look up trytophan and gaba), thanks Sylvane. Mary I hope you are doing well, all of those who have not posted in a while - hope you are hanging in there:]

[Samantha]

Billy, Sam, Jenhan, all of you we havent heard in awhile check in. We miss you and are here for you.

[Patrick Meninga]

Someone asked me about adding a picture, so this is just a quick note about adding a picture here if you want to (like my little monk guy under my name).

1. Log in to the forum (you have be registered).

2. Click on "settings" in the upper right corner, way up at the top.

3. In the left hand column, go down until you see "Edit Avatar." Click on that.

4. Upload a picture from your computer.

(Obviously, don't use your real face unless you want the whole world to know.....)

Oh, and thank you to everyone here who continues to delete the spam. There is a LOT of it. So great job everyone!

[Mel]

Did it! Party with non-stop drinking and I kept to my grapefruit soda. Thanks to everyone for their support - it helped to think that I had others out there with whom I had shared my self-promise to make it through the party tonight sober.

It doesn't work necessarily for sleep issues - but I've used in the past the supplement SAM-e (available from Nature Made and other companies like that) - it has helped with my mood / depression (although I do get a slight upset stomach if I take a higher dose). It isn't cheap, but it has worked for me.

[Sally]

Hey Sam - sorry to hear you were not feeling well....get better. Mel - congratulations - I am amazed that you did it, after reflecting on your situation, party in your honor and all, good drinking buddy, I don't know if I would have had the fortitude to pull it off. So pat yourself on the back. Hey, tried Patricks suggestion - like my new image LOL...love this guy!! Epitomizes my life - chaos...well used to. Have a great day everyone:]

[Billy]

June 1st - 30 DAYS - Game on!

Thanks for everyones support and continued support. I am committed to this and will report in on a regular basis. Thank you Patrick for this site!!!

Kjbp (got that list handy - planting my Tomatoes tonight), Sally, Samantha (loved the list!), Carol, Sam and everybody else. THANK YOU!! You are all God sends! Even though I don't know you all personnally I really feel like you all are really TRUE friends! Welcome to the group Mel.

Quote of the Day
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
– Beverly Sills

[Samantha]

Hi Sam! I feel like you do. Drinking was a lot of work. Mel I knew you would do it! Billy this is day 1? I am thinking of you. Get lots of rest the next few nights. It will get better you just have to make it through the next few days. Sally day 4? Hi to everyone and any one new!

[carol]

Sally, love the image. Congrats on committing to 30 days - I know you can do it!

Mel, good job on making it through the party without drinking, and it sounds like you also enjoyed it. Hurray!

Sam, I can feel you getting stronger every day! Keep it going!

Billy, we are with you all the way!

Samantha, Sylvane & kjbp, you are our shining beacons!

Jenhan75, how did the Memorial Day weekend go for you? Please let us know one way or the other; we are rooting for you.

Shelley, how about you? We haven't heard from you in a while.

I'm on day 26 and can hardly believe it. Yay for me, but I am reminding myself that I quit for 3 weeks after that visit to my mom's where she almost called 911 because I was so drunk, then I started drinking again. Right now I'm using some combination of one day at a time, 30 day trial, and "just do it" to keep going.

[carol]

PS, oh yeah that would have been my 85-year old mom calling 911 for her 58-year old daughter. Sigh. Never again.

[Sally]

Carol congrats - Sam is right - almost a month for you - you go girl!!! Sam - you have a week almost, keep on going - make a list of all the negatives of drinking and just keep looking at it...that will motivate you not to drink (at least it would me - and it would take a whole ream of paper too!). Am doing good today - not as testy - the polite word for b*tchy - LOL. Hang in there everyone :]

[Sally]

oops... Billy - good luck - you can do it...you to Mel!!

[casey]

Hi everyone. It has been awhile since I have been here but I am trying to catch up with the posts. Good to see new people. Thank you Billy,Samantha and kjbp and everone else who tired to give me words of encouragement. I hope you are all doing well. I am doing ok right now. I hope to be able to say better soon. For all the new people out there..I do know that coming and participating to this forum can help. I always think about the people and posts here when contemplating having a drink even when I don't turn on my computer. I am grateful for that.

[Samantha]

Hi all! Casey welcome back we missed you. Billy how are you doing today? Sam you sound great as do you Carol! 26 days is awesome! Sally you will be starting day 5. Everyone is making progress which is inspiring. Life is so much better without alcohol. I still at times romance my drinking but then visualize the reality of where I end up, which is drunk. I also am trying to get my brain to stop saying " a drink" as i never did a drink. I chugged. Drink sounds dainty and i was never dainty. I always chugged as much alcohol in me as i could when no one was looking.

[Mel]

Thanks everybody - I was really happy that everything went right last night. Today, I'm trying very very hard not to give in (it is 90 degrees out, no air conditioning, and I have always been a sucker for a cold beer on a hot day). It is exactly what Samantha is saying, this weird fuzzy, romanticized vision of me n' alcohol when the reality is never 'a beer' (or 'a glass of wine' or 'a scotch' or 'a whiskey') - its always a 6 pack (or more). I'll make it, have to. (I'm distracting myself as Casey said - hi Casey! - from the impulse by posting).

Oh, and Sally - love love love Bill the Cat!