How to stop drinking

[Cathy]

Justin I'm really glad you bit the bullit. I admire your strength too. I can tell you that I can't even have any alcohol in the house. Even if there's a beer, which I don't like........I'd end up drinking it. How disgusting is that?

Frog....yeahhh!!! you did it and so did I. I really felt crummy today. Kept trying to shake off that "what do I do now - I feel like crap" feeling. But here it is 10:30 and I'm feeling somewhat better. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel even better.

Bill you said alcohol hijacks your brains ability to feel pleasure on it's own. That is exactly what's happened to me (and I suppose many others too)......I haven't been able to put into words this empty, dull, could care less feeling about things. My neighbor lets me have the pears from his pear tree every year, and just the other day he said "I'm surprised you haven't come over for the pears this year" Well I didn't even want to.......there was no pleasure in the idea. Sad.....really sad =(

Vic your last post had me daydreaming about experiencing the little miracles of life again.......thx for painting that picture!

Ok.......kissing day 2 goodbye......hopefully for good!

[Ruth]

Don't worry, Cathy- it does take some time, but you will find yourself feeling like yourself again, only you will not feel the shame and regret associated with alcohol! Our brains have been bathed in alcohol for so many years, we have to understand that it takes time to re-set. There are some supplements that can help even things out. Lots of B vitamins, and massive doses of vitamin C are said to help, as well as 5 HTP and glutamine. Read up and see if there is anything that helps you. I also felt like you... I didn't want to cook or even play music (part of my livelihood and our family identity). But now, 101 days in (101?! How did THAT happen??), I look forward to playing music, and cooking, and going to the farmers' market. I think about drinking sometimes, sure, and there is one restaurant that I am not ready to go back to, because it will be hard to say no, but I seem to have a new identity, and it is as a person who does not drink alcohol. I never would have believed this, but it is true. It is interesting to be able to focus on other things than to plan my day around when and what I would drink. Anyway, if I can do it, anyone can, and that means you!

Justin, I am hearing a transformation in your thinking, and I hear you planning for success, even in this difficult position. Make sure you have something to drink on hand, for when you re tempted. I would reach for that grapefruit soda in desperation, just so I would have something in my hand and a belly full of something sloshing around. It really did help. Stay strong!










Hey Connor, Peter... what is up with you guys? Haven't seen you here in awhile.

[carol]

Ruth, congratulations on 101 days of freedom!!

[Millie]

Ruth, thanks for shout out to Peter and Connor. I have been wondering where the heck they are too.......


Where are you......

[JPVD]

"I am also a moderator of the forum (as "carolcmod") and edited a little out of one of the posts but left the rest"

what's going on here Patrick? These people were put in as mods to filter spam, not censor posts.

[Millie]

I want you all to know that I am nowhere near banning anyone on this forum, but I would probably back up my moderators if they thought it was necessary.

That said, I really like what Samantha said about how she wants people to feel safe posting here.

Ultimately that is all that matters.....that people can post safely here, and just try to get relief, support, and help.

It will never be a perfect world because sometimes, in recovery, we have to "call people out" in order to help them. We keep each other in check sometimes. I don't know if that is necessary here or not, maybe it is. But doing so is always a risk. Doing so will always seem like a personal attack. Doing so will always elicit defensiveness. But, sometimes it still needs to be done. I have no idea if that is the case here or not. I really don't. I'm not a moderator and I have never tried to think or act like one.

That said, I trust my current moderators quite a bit, and I like what Samantha said. Make it safe here, and be nice! Everyone.

This is a unique forum in that many people here are transitioning into recovery. I have never seen that on a recovery board. All that I have seen are just people with established clean time. Maybe they moderate out the others? Who knows. This place is unique in that there is almost no censorship at all, the mods delete almost nothing.

Would love to keep it that way. Such a neat group here!

I am not a moderator, but from quote above, I think Patrick expects his moderators to deal with more than just than just spam. I have seen very little censorship while on the board, and don't expect that will change, which I am happy about, but believe it is sometimes necessary. I am not sure you were reading all that transpired a few days ago as it happened, but Carol deleted very little from just one post. I am pretty sure Poster self-deleted the rest. I think all forums have some moderating going on... I am curious what Patrick's response to your question will be..

[Mairianna10]

Morning all, well morning here anyway. Start of Day 60, I really cant believe it. Is that right Millie and Casey? Are we really here? For those struggling with first days, first week, first month even, it really does get easier. I suppose that's easy for me to say but I never dreamed I could reach this point. I think about alcohol from the minute I get up but I dont have the cravings I had in the early days, I can think before I act. I can even buy alcohol for my husband without worry. I know I need to be careful not to get too cocky too. The benefits of my non-drinking are not obvious to anyone outside my home, at least no one has said anything, apart from a couple of nice compliments about how good I look. As Ruth said life doesnt revolve around when I can drink, that was the number one focus to my life. In 2 months the crap life I had has totally changed. I'm not wooping with happiness (yet) but each day I'm realising how free I am, free from hangover, it wasnt even a hangover, I never got the chance to recover, it was like a never-ending cycle of headache, depression, anxiety, irritability, secrets, with me all puffy, red faced, halitosis, shakes, weight gain, unable to function properly. Just had a cringing vision of eating in the work canteen not long before I stopped and trying to put a fork to my mouth, the shaking in my hand was so bad I had to leave my meal.

Welcome back Dragonfly and Julliet. Please stay with us and keep posting.

Hi to Jdunning, welcome to this wonderful forum.

Serena - dont think its just a man thing, I dont really share much about my struggle with my husband, I prefer to put it down here. I will tell him how many days sober I have sometimes but that's about all. He'll say well done, you're doing really well, wish I could stop. I prefer not to go into any more detail with him, cant explain why, maybe because he's still drinking. I say STILL like I expect he will stop but I'm trying not to nag him about that. At the end of the day its an individual choice.

Thank you all for getting me here x

[Mairianna10]

Ruth, should have said well done on getting to 101, that's fantastic!

[peterpinot]

Thanks for asking. There isn't going to be a peep out of me again until I can proudly post DAY ONE.

[Mairianna10]

Nice to hear from you Peter. You sound like you're nearly ready to go for it.

[Millie]

Sam,
Great post. Interesting debate. I certainly would hate to see the moderators revising, deleting items willy, nilly..... But still think it might be appropriate in some limited cases.. But, you make some great points....

That is what I love about this forum... Always interesting thought provoking posts going on.


Mairianna. Congrats on day 60. I can't believe we are here.. Casey, are you still with us?

[Patrick Meninga]

Sorry I have not been more clear on the moderators and their role here.

I think I cracked the spam thing finally and was able to keep it down without the mods having to do it. But yeah, the mods I assigned still have the power to change things around as they see fit....they can delete any post, ban members, etc.

But understand that all of the people that I chose to be moderators are terrified of doing the wrong thing. None of them are on a power trip or anything.

I would liken them to the "trusted servants" of AA or NA.

If it ever becomes a problem, we will take a group vote on here, and deal with it. But I talked with some of the mods and they did a great job with recent events, in my opinion.

I am grateful to have them. They mostly just monitor, and almost never intervene.....

[Millie]

Patrick.. I just wrote a post and it never "posted". Did it go somewhere to be moderated first.. Lol.

Mairianna. Congrats on your 60 days. We did it. Casey, are you still with us???,

[Millie]

My original post showed back up, so I deleted the duplicate.

[Billy]

Hi everyone! Day 6 and I have to admit I'm feeling real good but I'm really, really trying to control my cravings today going into Friday night and the weekend. My mind is coming up with all kinds of reasons/excuses to go to the bar and have a couple! I have to work a double (Sunday Am into Monday), but I can't get tonight or tomorrow out of mind. I just have to remember how good it felt this last week and how well I'm doing...I just hope its enough because I'll be so mad at myself if I cave in now. I have to take my own advise but this damn thing is so tough!!!

Sam - I can't believe that you thought I wrote that about you???? This is the first I've heard about this! I don't want to dredge that up again but it was one post about one person who hasn't been on this forum in months. You know your one of my favorites!!

[Christy]

Billy-Just think how good you are feeling right now. So positive and upbeat. You know you can't have just a couple, so no excuses tonight. Make plans to do something else. Go exercise with us on the other forum or go to a movie. Just anyplace that doesn't tempt you with alcohol. You don't want to start another day 1, do you? You are already saying that you will be mad at yourself, so get tougher and beat those cravings. I know you can do it. Only You can make that choice, so darn it, just do it!

[peterpinot]

Thanks for asking. There isn't going to be a peep out of me again until I can proudly post DAY ONE.

I think posting makes us stronger. Let's share our sucesses and failures together.

[tap out]

justin stay strong/billy stay strong its so not worth it can i say two words hangover .. julliet hope everthing is ok and you have a great weekend i still think you are a fearless pitbull that will take on anything or anybody thats in a good way hope everbodys doing good......

[Millie]

Peter,
I think that is a much better approach. We worry about and miss you when we don't hear a peep.

I hope everyone has safe AND sober weekend.

[Samantha]

Thats right Peter, just keep posting. Thats what I did. Even if you fail, you will get back up and try again. Eventually it sticks. I liked posting because I felt the more I talked about it the more I got stronger and the alcoholic weaker. After the few days of alcohol withdrawal it was more a mental battle and I was so ticked off and sick of the alcoholic in me I had enough. Talking on the forum made all the difference and so glad your here sharing.

Billy how are you doing? I am so proud of you and day 6 is great!

Ruth happy 101 days!! You reminded me when I hit 100 days my son in law gave me a congrats card. I wasnt expecting it and it meant alot. And honestly there are times I think to drink I remember that card and dont want to disappoint him....or me! Anyway congrats on so many days.