How to stop drinking

[Regina]

Thank you so much everyone! What an incredibly special group of people!
Well, today is Day 2 and I feel a bit better. I started the day off with 40 minutes of exercise. There are a lot of old patterns that need changing but I know what they are and I know I can do it!!

[_Erin_]

If there is one thing that I learned after Mom died, it's that there was a REAL PERSON under that drunk. She did things before she started drinking, and even during. She cared - a lot! She was funny, fun to be around, happy, loving, a dreamer, a doer. Yes, she was masked by alcohol for the past 20 years, but I regret forgetting who Mom was until after she died. You guys are not drunks - you are real people. You feel and think and do, just like everyone else. I don't ever want to forget to really see a person for who they are again. This group is made up of some truly hearts of gold! This is therapy for me.

[aliciad]

I know this sounds corny but I have never felt more understood or happy since I've been on this site. All your stories are extremely encouraging. Hang in there.

[kevin2]

Here is something I read this morning that I thought me be helpful/interesting for you all,...I liked it any way.

A man told his grandson, "There is a battle between 2 gators inside all of us. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, kindness, forgiveness and truth." The boy thought about it and asked, "Grandfather, which gator wins the battle?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

Thanks again Millie (told ya I'd thank you again this morning),...had one of the best and most enjoyable rounds of golf yesterday that I've ever had. It was a little tough for the first few holes, but got easier and better as it went along.

[MitchB]

Here is something I read this morning that I thought me be helpful/interesting for you all,...I liked it any way.

A man told his grandson, "There is a battle between 2 gators inside all of us. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, resentment, bitterness, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, kindness, forgiveness and truth." The boy thought about it and asked, "Grandfather, which gator wins the battle?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

Thanks again Millie (told ya I'd thank you again this morning),...had one of the best and most enjoyable rounds of golf yesterday that I've ever had. It was a little tough for the first few holes, but got easier and better as it went along.

Hi everyone,
I posted a few weeks ago before Labor day shooting for day 1 (again). I never made it. I do plan again to shoot for this weekend though. Been through this many times before and am just afraid of the nausea, shaking, sweating etc. I have been reading all of your inspirational posts (as I tear up) and am getting stronger. I realize that quitting tomorrow won't be any easier than quitting today, but so it goes....I am at a precipice. Need to be pushed over the edge to a good/sober life. It is up to me now. Nudge me, I won't hold it against you, and God Bless.

[kevin2]

I have read everyone's comments and messages sent, but wanted to not respond immediately, but thoroughly process the experience. Juliet, I forgive you, but it wasn't the tough love that was hurtful, but the comments attacking my personality on sharing my good days. While losing our girl may have started this slippery slope in causing relationship strain, it is not the only thing going on in my life, there have been many other struggles that everything seemed to snowball within the last 2 years. I don't think any of us are in the position to lecture and know what works for one or another as we don't really know all the details of each other, or stood in each other's shoes. As for the relationship, many of you mean well and obviously he does things that are unacceptable, but remember, he has a problem with drinking too and as some of you know, sometimes it brings out the worst in us, making us look like Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde. Half the time, he doesn't recall doing or saying the hurtful things. Finding that balance to take care of oneself first, yet not giving up on someone who had been your best friend for 18 of 20yrs is something that I will have to figure out for myself. There are many wonderful and good things about him too, when he isn't being controlled by drinking.
I still do not feel very comfortable opening up as I have before to share the good, the bad, the ugly and well, life. I wrote this in my journal the day after (which yes, when I last posted, I was sober, just didn't count it as my day one cause technically, I was still drinking after midnight and felt drunk when I woke up): I am exactly where I need to be. This is my journey. We may have the same goals, however different approaches work better for some than others. Tough love has always back fired for me, as I have never responded well to authoritative circumstances. I'm a nurturer by nature and that is the language I speak, understand and connect with the most. Drinking is not my problem. It is only the outcome of other issues that need to be resolved and that will not be magically erased if I just give up on the relationship and quit drinking. My drinking may have caused other problems in my life, however my drinking started because of problems in my life. I am looking at drinking from a different perspective now and will be trying a different approach this time around that isn't focused so much on drinking and not drinking, that in itself will make one want to drink. I am refocusing on the other areas in my life, that are within me, to find the answer and solution.

So with that, I will be detaching from my daily updates and find other things to focus on. I will keep up with everyone and check in every once in awhile for myself. This whole event was just a wake up call for me and had to decide is this place really helping me or hurting me in my growth. I have decided, that I have learned what I can from it, be grateful for it, but for now, I'm going out and doing things on my terms on what I need to do for now in this journey.

To each and everyone of you, thank you. I will be always be grateful for finding this site to make the choice from thinking about doing something, to trying to do something and when I failed, to remember to keep picking myself up. Victims say why me. Fighters say why not.

Day 3.

Great post,....and very wise and beautiful words (in red),..he is lucky to have you,..and as is said often in sports,..the best leaders are those who lead by example,...so lead him. I really hate that this happened, your posts were truly inspiring to me and many others I'm sure. Please check back in with us sometimes,...but I totally understand where you are coming from. With that said...great to see you back and that you are doing well. I was worried about you.

[MitchB]

Hi everyone,
I posted a few weeks ago before Labor day shooting for day 1 (again). I never made it. I do plan again to shoot for this weekend though. Been through this many times before and am just afraid of the nausea, shaking, sweating etc. I have been reading all of your inspirational posts (as I tear up) and am getting stronger. I realize that quitting tomorrow won't be any easier than quitting today, but so it goes....I am at a precipice. Need to be pushed over the edge to a good/sober life. It is up to me now. Nudge me, I won't hold it against you, and God Bless.

BTW, One thing I wanted to mention. I have forever been looking for that magic bullet. The one that makes all the pain of alcoholism go away. The one that can kill the demon forever. The one that can make me (us) free forever. I realized today, that there is one. We all posess it but it is rendered useless by the booze. Load your gun with the magic bullet(s) when you can, keep a stock of ammo on hand. It is in our hearts and minds.Use it to kill the beast with determination, support and time. "And, has thou slain the Jaberwock? Come to my arms you beamish boy! Oh Frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy!"

[Vic]

Hello gang,
Starting Day 50 and the brain fog keeps slowly lifting (thank goodness) and I feel better today than I have in years.
I'd like to share a few recent thoughts/experiences.
I am now noticing subtle positive changes in my outlook on life and for that I am very grateful.
Having more distance now from my last binge I see how alcohol detached me from all the simple beauty and majesty life has to offer.
Looking in the rearview mirror I also see how alcohol cut my connection to all the positive energy and vibes the universe has to offer. I am slowly getting back that connection.
This sailor was definitely lost in a stormy sea but I am now sailing towards a safe harbour.
While I still have my fair share of problems and struggles I find myself less anxious, angry and stressed out.
I am finally sleeping better and waking up more rested for a change.
They say sun is the best disinfectant and I am so grateful to have finally come out from under the dark rock of alcoholism to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and to help cleanse my soul and refill it with soulshine.
While I'm still firmly rooted in the one day at a time principle, I am actually starting to understand and appreciate a little bit of what the longtimers describe as the "miracle" of recovery and sobriety.

[Millie]

Carol. Last week I was in the Burbank airport and there was quite a wait for my flight home. Another passenger said he'd wait in the bar. Airport bars are tempting. They are anonymous (but expensive). I went to the coffee place instead and bought an iced caramel machiatto. It was super delicious! Now I have a thing for iced caramel coffee drinks...love how the caramel kind of sinks to the bottom. I should probably watch it. Seriously though I did drop 5-7 pounds during my 30. So maybe I can lose more. I definitely need to lose especially if I am going to keep up with the Millie excercise program.

Bill,
We are waiting for you to check off day one under the exercise challenge. A twenty minute walk around the neighborhood will suffice.

[Millie]

Kevin,
Awesome job on the golf game too!!! We still need you on exercise challenge. We need some guys to compete against.

P.s. Just saw your joke on hydro thread.... That was probably your secret weapon during the golf game. Hehe

[jdunning]

Newby here, but I've been reading posts for quite a while. You guys are awesome and helpful. I think this may be the place I need to be.

[justin]

today is day 10 and out of nowhere i got a strong craving. this sucks. i want a drink so bad im crawling in my skin. im gonna try to stay strong.

[Cathy]

Oh boy Justin........I'm on day 2 and don't feel so hot today. You DON'T want to go back to day 1......it is sooooo NOT WORTH IT!!! I wish I knew just the right thing to say to cause you to go WHEW......that was close.....glad that's over!! I will say a prayer for you though. Ok here goes........................ok done =)

Justin did I tell you about the time I blacked out while sitting on the john in a public building? I woke up on the floor with my pants down...........ughh!!!........that was nasty!! THANK GOD nobody came into the bathroom during that episode. Or about the time I went to AA so lit, that I started a fight with another person during the meeting and a couple of tough guys lifted me off my feet right out the door. Then called my husband to come and get me?? Ohhhh.....talk about being mortified! Or about the time I went to pick up some of my grandkids for the night while intoxicated, and all 3 of my beautiful daughters cornered me in the bedroom and threatened to not let them around me??? I slapped my oldest girl across the face and screamed at her "I AM NOT DRUNK"

In other words I'm just trying to stir up some memories so you'll be reminded how devastating the brew can be. Maybe you didn't make a fool out of yourself while drunk.......but it's poison, poison poison.......

[Cathy]

I originally came on today to just check in and say hey to you all. I've been dragging around the house and yard all day. Went out to pick more green beans, broccoli and tomatoes........All the warm weather we've been having has caused them to doggedly keep putting out. I'm so over it already, but was taught long ago to never waste food! So another trip to the homeless shelter tomorrow with the goods.

I've already had a craving today and providence intervened. One of my girls asked me to watch a couple of my grandbabies for a few hours, so I was grateful to be so distracted. I do believe that I would not have caved in had I been alone......but will never know for sure. Then hubby came home from work early, before my usual trip to the party store time.......so again I'll never know if I would have craved and bought or not. Right now I feel strong in mind, but weak in body. Trying all day to get things done (home business)......but accomplished very little. Well I did write in my journal for the first time last night, and put a heart on the 14th on my calender today. I hope you guys have stayed strong today so far. If not though...........we are here for you with open arms

[Billy]

Justin - stay strong my friend! it'll pass, just white knuckle it! You know how bad it'll suck if you have to start over again. Hang in there and think about your son! YOU CAN DO THIS! Don't think of the reasons you want to drink, think of all the good reasons you don't want to!!!

[serena]

I have a question for anyone that is over 30 days...My husband is now on day 33, but throug this entire month he doesn't want to talk about being sober. I openly discuss how I feel about stopping my hydrocodone, but when it comes to him he shuts down. He's not drinking and has mentioned one time that he had the urge to have a beer, but didn't, but he won't share anything about how he feels or what he might be going through. Is that uncommon?? I even wonder if he's only truly continuing to remain abstinent because he knows that I have let go of my addiction and he feels "obligated" to do the same. I just don't know. He has mentioned that he feels better physically and he doesn't seem down or depressed or distant, he just simply doesn't want to talk about it too much. I'm just going with the flow...any thoughts?

[justin]

despite the ultimatum my wife gave me,, to either quit drinking or she is taking my kids and leaving,, she is still actively drinking. i came home from work to her drunk, and to a full bottle of vodka in the house. if i try to get rid of it shes likely to flip out and just go buy another one. so im forced to deal with it. so my cravings flared up pretty bad this evening. i found some candy i didnt know we had in the house. so ive been eating that and pretty much keeping to myself, and i actually feel alot better now. ive gotten into a book, so i figure ill read that for awhile and then ill go to bed early tonight, i get up early for work anyway. carol and billy thanks for your support, it really does help. i was able to reflect over the past couple of weeks and i sure as hell dont want to go back there. carol i too have had many blackout experiences, and ive done horrible things while blacked out. ive lost friends and ive spent nights in jail and couldnt remember why. not things i ever want to do again. not to mention the fact that my drinking has put me in the hospital in the recent past. my hope is that one day soon my wife will decide to quit and then the temptation wont be here in my home any longer. but for today i think im alright. i feel better. so day 11 here i come.

[frog]

Hi all - Day 3 - I'm still goin'. Today was hard. I kept thinking about the lack of a magic bullet. This is not easy. If it were easy, then I would have done it already! No one can do this for me. The feelings of inadequacy have been overwhelming today. But so far, I'm still on Day 3.

Thanks, Vic, for the post. I too have images in my mind of what each of you looks like. Now I can picture Vic basking in the sun, taking it all in with joy. THAT is why I'm doing this. Thanks!

Serena - maybe he's nervous to jinx it and doesn't want to let you down. For some of us, it's a private battle. As long as he knows you're available and supportive, I'd say keep going with the flow. No sense in pushing him to talk.

Cathy, hang in there! Today sucked for me too! I felt the fear and did it anyway. Felt like a loser several times and wanted to run and hide away and screw this whole thing. But drinking is going to make it worse, not better. If I'm going to feel awful, it may as well be from low self-esteem at this point and not GUILT! Working on self-definition. Can't wait.

[carol]

Justin, good for you! Turns out this time it was cathy throwing out the lifeline but I've got your back too. cathy, thank you for your honesty in reminding us of where we don't want to go anymore! Justin, if my husband drank I don't know if I could abstain, so I admire your strength. You've got a plan, so day 11 it shall be!

serena, I didn't want to talk about either except here. Don't worry about it. It's enough that he's not drinking.

[Mel]

Justin - I hope the rest of your night goes smoothly, and it is really amazing to be that strong in the face of temptation. I have zero willpower, - I am triply impressed. Lots of great posts and quotes and energy . . . honesty, all good things.

Thank you to everyone who posts. Who tries. I am constantly encouraged and in awe of y'all's collective bravery. If I can borrow just a little bit of it - maybe I can make it to 30, then 60, then - who knows.

Also wanted to come on and say - damn. I like how I feel when I'm not drunk or hungover. I keep forgetting that or losing sight of that fact. I feel good. I'm getting stuff done. I need to not ever think that I somehow feel 'better' when I'm drunk/drinking - I don't. And my body cannot handle this anymore. Here's to one more day. I really want to get to 30 days. That will be about birthday time for me.