How to stop drinking

[Cdries]

Anna keep your head up. I don't know if your head the post that I put up about my situation earlier in the day, but none the less I am fighting back and trying to keep my lady around. I leave in just over a week for 3 weeks in Australia and Japan, and I am hoping to get at least the ground work for picking up the pieces laid before I leave. Keep your head up, think positive, I drown my sorrows in music all the time, and you just have to listen to something that makes you smile, or go to utube and watch the videos of the dog Mishka that sings and says I love you. All my best
I stayed sober, watched TV, and made me and whom I hope to be mine again, chinese food for dinner. Got a little irate occasionally today, but positive thinking helped me through it. And drinking a ton of water and eating these huge peaches they have at Publix!!

[anna]

Cdries - thank you for your reply. I must have missed it. I am a little lost. Kind of in the mindset that I already started so why not keep going... blech. I have a six pack. I hereby swear that I won't drink them all. We don't have Publix here But peaches are delicious.

[anna]

I'm trying to do this for me, but I'm also doing this for us. He's a good man. I hope today/this/isn't a moot point.

[Sally]

Oh Dragonfly - big hugs....partners can be such schmucks at times!! My partner is the same way - not one word of encouragement, not one "way to go" or congratulations - mine is oblivous (without drinking), yours is oblivious while drinking. He's just being that way because he is jealous you are getting your sh++ together and he isn't. Don't let him bring you down - you are doing AMAZING!!! And since you're already in the car, why not go out and treat yourself to a huge hot fudge sunday - I know I would LOL LOL

[carol]

Dragonfly, hang in there! Sally said it, you are AMAZING! Your contribution to this forum is just phenomenal in so many ways! I second Sally's suggestion to drive the car away, but I think I'd go further than the ice cream sundae and go stay at a friends like you've done before. Obviously this is your call. Boy if there were a reason to drink this is it, but DON'T! You've come so far and your strength and positive energy are such an inspiration! D*** him for doing this to you! JERK!

[Christy]

Dragonfly-Don't grab that bottle. We are all here for you. You have come too far to take that drink and you are stronger than the beast.

[Millie]

Dragonfly,
Please report in and let us kmow if storm has passed... We are thinking of you..

[Millie]

So, here is a tidbit in my life. Its hard enough trying to kick this booger. I'm on both ends. My other half drinks way more and more often than I. I have tried to detach from his issues, he has to figure it out for himself. Right now I'm sitting in the garage cause he came home drunk, accusing me of being drunk too, he just knows I am. There is a bottle of vodka sittng up there and as much as I would like to say go f yourself and take a swig, here I am, locked up in my vehicle to keep myself away from temptation. Him coming home drunk isn't what hurts me, the not seeing I've been drunk free for almost three weeks does.

Dragonfly. He may not notice, but we have. It has actually been LONGER than three weeks. Aren't you on day 22?

[Millie]

Patrick,
Thanks for the article. You describe some big positive changes that you made that have made huge differences--- degree, work, exercise, giving up cigarettes, etc., but I would like more detail re: positive changes you are doing each day now.. Are they big? Little? What? For example, what did you do today? You helped us by writing and sharing the article, was that it? Did you do other stuff? Are you reading books, taking classes, writing a book. Do you still feel ten years in, that you still have to work at it..

Do you think it is still necessary for recovery, or just generally necessary for a full, meaningful, rewarding life.... Days wasted are just that...wasted. I feel that I've had too many of those...but still struggle on how to make each day full and meaningful.

Enquiring minds want to know. Lol

[Samantha]

We have noticed dragonfly. You are doing so great the past month. Your growth and strength has truly been amazing and inspiring. Dont drink like Patrick says and this too shall pass and you will be even stronger come morning. Big hug.

[Mairianna10]

Well done Dragonfly. Its huge what you've managed to achieve, 23 days, I can tell you have the strength to get to 30 and beyond. Keep your pecker up and just do it for you. There's no way he's not realised you're off the stuff, he's just not accepting it. He doesnt like the control you've gained. We all need reassurance and praise so it must be hard he's not acknowledging your achievement but please stick with it. DONT DRINK!

[Mairianna10]

Bill, you're doing great. Well done.

[olivia]

Hey Dragonfly...I hope you are feeling better. I have (kind of) been in the spot you are in with one irrational drunk arguing and questioning the sober one (and surprisingly enough I was the sober one in the situation). I had an ex who would get WASTED and do things like jump out of my moving car, call 911 and hang up, threaten to call and lie to cops etc. Well everytime the cops ended up at the scene (whether it be the middle of the street, a hotel, a house) the cops could see who was the one drinking and who was sober. I have been on probation for DUI in the past as well but I think if you are sober you will be fine. Obviously I know nothing about your relationship but unless you are in a dangerous situation I'm glad you are sticking with staying at your house. No need to go out of YOUR way to find somewhere else to sleep. Best of luck and be safe.

[Millie]

Dragonfly,
Clearly you are driving him nuts with your control and his loss of power to make you jump down the rabbit hole. You go girl!!!

I hope the storm has finally past and all is quiet on the home front.

[bdog]

Dragonfly sorry for all the drama in your life. It makes it so much more difficult when your mind is fighting two wars at the same time. But you seem to be doing ok with one of them. I guess at 23 days you have more strength then you would at day 1 or two. Speaking of I havent had a drink since the Holiday and last night finally slept enough to feel pretty good today. I have done this now for the 4th week. Just need a way to get thru another weekend without beating my self up. Right about now (Thursday Morning) is when that inner voice starts talking to me about how we will handle this weekend. Im trying not to listen but it keep insists on bringing up the subject. Everyone is so right about feeling good after a couple of days without makes you think you can go back to normal. It doesnt work like that.

[grad2008]

Good morning everyone!

Dragonfly: I really admire your will to stick to being sober. it is truly an inspiration to me and to keep up being sober. It feels great today to wake up with a clear head. Not to regret my actions or feel guilt over what I have done or said. And I am sure you feel great to wake up sober. IMO the only thing you can do sometimes is take care of yourself. No matter how hard you try sometimes you can't force people to change. Just be there for them when they are ready for the change.

As for me, tomorrow I leave on my trip! I hope to remain strong even when I am offered drinks by friends and family! I will try to post if not I hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Millie]

Grad...as Samantha once reminded me, take the "hope" out of your vocabulary and just do it. No waffling. Repeat after me: " I will remain strong even when I am offered drinks by friends and family. They will not throw me off track. I will have a great time sober and will get to remember it all for a change". Have a great weekend.

[Cdries]

So is it usual to have crazy dreams and constantly wake up through out the night even around day 4? I have been having very angry dreams

[kevin2]

So...here I am in a parking lot. My other half is pretty lit up tonight and seems to be stuck on the thought that after us fighting that I must be too. I tried to rationalize with him, showing him I'm not going there anymore. He didn't get it. Told me to shut up and if I didn't, he could call the cops for disturbance. He knows I'm on probation for my DWI. I can't believe this is the same guy who was my best friend for 20 yrs. If I was drunk, yes I would think maybe I deserved this. But I'm not. And the more I tried to convince him the more he threatened to call the cops. I'm baffled. We are not Walmart folks by any standard (sorry if you take offense). So I left and I don't want to go anywhere to friends and family. I don't even have my wallet to get a room. Seems like my past defines who I am in his mind. :'( just really sad he doesn't see how far I've come to this point.

Wow, so sorry to hear about this happening to you d-fly. What a great job you did staying strong through that crap. The dude doesn't know how lucky he is to have a person like you. You should've asked him if he knew who Lorainna Bobbitt is,...winked at him and went to bed. Then again you probably handled it better the way you did ;-}

[kevin2]

Cdries- I would say yes,..especially if you were drinking pretty hard before you quit. I never have dreams (or at least never remember them) when I drink at night,...on nights that I don't drink I always have wild, vivid dreams,..and wake up alot. I've always heard that "drunk-sleep" equals only about have of a good sober nights sleep. In other words 8 hrs. drunk-sleep equals about 4 hrs. of actual sleep,...and it seems to hold true for me. Here is a suggestion for anyone on here (and I've read quite a few) having trouble going to sleep at night now that they aren't drinking... Try "Melatonin" pills,...it's an all natural sleep aid and is sold OTC at any grocery, pharmacy etc. in the suppliment/vitamen section. I take 2 (5mg) pills about 30 mins. before I go to bed, sit down and read or watch TV,..and soon can't keep my eyes open. Then go to bed and sleep like a rock. It works for me and might be worth a try.