Originally Posted by nitsirk
Happens to us all Kristen... me especially. Least you didnt act like a drama queen like I do and vanish for weeks. Glad you are feeling better.
Welcome back camas and yoga. Hope the second time around helps you quit it for good.
Sober Pete, I dont know what a non-ionic is, but do whatever the doctor suggests It sounds lke you need some serious professional help to quit or you'll be dead all to soon. Nothing I can say will cut it I'm afraid. I can say "dont drink today" or "try 30 days", but you sound like you're well past that, you know its killing you and you know its destroying your relationship and you're still drinking yourself into oblivion.
Oh and as for "God People! Just Kill me!", there really is no need for any of us to do that, you're doing it without us. Get help please. If you dont, you will be dead all too soon and that wife who is putting up with so much shit by the sounds of it will have to bury you. Forget about weddings and speeches, just concentrate on today. Get your ass exercising and get some serious professional help...today. Because you dont sound like you have many "today's" left if you dont.
As for me, I finished the Easy Way to Stop Drinking today. It has helped a great deal. I now no longer feel like "I am missing out". I feel like all the drinkers are the ones who are. Now that I see alcohol as the money wasting, confidence destroying, addictive slow poison that it is, rather than the picture that is portrayed in the media, the urge to drink has gone. I'm even looking at NA beers and thinking "you dont taste all that good". I dont need a substitute pretend poison. Next time I go into a pub, it'll be orange juice and lemonade. I want people to know I'm not a drinker. Oh and another thing the book reminded me is that you do not have to drink all night. You dont even have to have a drink. The drinkers do, because alcohol dehydrates them, sober people dont have to. So you can make a couple of drinks last the night.
Anyway, my back is hurting and I need to sleep. Its been a very hard weekend physically and mentally. Leaving the woman I was engaged to and who I've known for 4 years was hard. I am grateful that I dont drink and that I didnt hide in a bottle. I HAVE hidden from phone calls, because I'm a wimp / dont like conflict / ACoA, but I've faced everything else sober. I'll get round to the phone calls.
Take care all and try to remember that you are not "giving up" alcohol and you are not "missing out". You're actually getting your life back and you're finally getting free from the nagging voice in your head. Mine is currently dying due to the realisation that its alcohol days are gone for good.
Hayden - congrats on day 10 of 30 !! Great job !
Camas and Yoga - welcome back !
Nomad, I laughed out loud Yer awesome. I'd like to read that book - I'll look it up. It doesn't make you feel contemptuous toward people who can drink without issues, does it? I am not bothered a bit by my husband having a beer at dinner or even going out with buddies and don't want to start But anything that makes me more mindful of my health (you know how I feel about exercise ha ha) is a good idea !
Kristin - love ya girl !!
Peter - any way your doc could get you into an inpatient rehab for a few weeks? Maybe if you could just be separated from the poison you could make a new start and get the traction you need to make it stick. I'm so worried about you and wish there were anything I could do ... but there isn't, aside from entreating you not to give up, and try something different. It sounds like it may be drastic action time... please don't wait too long.
All, especially those I've been thinking about and hoping you're doing just fine though we've missed hearing from you lately - all my best for a good sober night's sleep. I still breathe a sigh of thankfulness to God every night when my head hits the pillow. I don't ever want to forget how long I struggled and how desperately I never want to go back there! Camas, I'm sorry you're back under the circumstances - that is to say, I wish you'd never had that beer ! - but I'm grateful of your poignant reminder that I am not cured, I'm not safe, I'm not immune - no matter how many days or weeks or months I might rack up or how much I know or have learned about this condition - I don't dare dabble in even a whiff of the merest thought that maybe I could have just one ... ever. I'm so afraid I wouldn't make it back.
I love this forum & love you all !
When I read your name last night, my mind slipped and read it as Caymus my favorite wine from back in the day. If you are having trouble, coming back here is a good thing. Reading here and posting should help you get back on track. I hope in the future your husband will come too understand how important his role is in your recovery. I look forward to you getting back on the otherside.
It is so much work to worry about all the things weighing you down right now. Trust me, not drinking is so much better, compared to all of the anxiety that is caused from your worries. Freedom awaits, if you are ready and willing. I came to be sober in the same manner, I am a high functioning alcoholic who eventually got eaten up by all the stress of being an alcoholic. The shame, anxiety, and frustration was also not quite enough for me to quit, not completely anyway, blacking out scared me enough to see how bad my problem was. I hope you are ready to quit for good, this is a place with great people ready to help you and support you.
Thinking of you today. I wish all the darkness away and beautiful rays of sunshine to illuminate the way for you.
Thanks for staying you are important here.
I must go, my daughter is in the hospital ( not life threatening yet) due to her depression she is not taking care of herself and her illness ( Cystic Fibrosis ) properly. How ironic life can be sometimes.
After reading your posts today, I hope you will find away to go into a 90 day treatment program. The cards have been put in front of you and you do not seem able to do this on your own. I hope and pray you will get help before it is too late.
Chad, just read your post. Will be sending up prayers for you and your daughter.