How to stop drinking

[Kip]

Morgan, welcome to the forum. Great that you found it...I am a 14 day newcomer and this place is awesome.. Such a different experience compared to AA and certainly beats being alone or trying to relate to someone who doesn't get it..I am reading this one from page one and, at about halfway, remain amazed at the courage of of these friends and our common experiences. For these 14 days I took the advice of friends here.. Exercise, rest, eat well, read here, and enjoy the clarity that comes with it. For me exercise is tops as it calms my mind to run long miles..also, free yourself of triggers as much as possible..people, places, things, experiences.. I feel a bit like a hermit but the gain in coping strength is worth it. Good luck, keep in touch, and I'm sure everyone will warmly welcome you! Let it shine..Kip

[JeffR1]

Hi Morgan,

Welcome to the forum. I am new-comer here also, joining just before Christmas. I’ve had plenty of day ones also. Presently, I’m on day 4. I also tried AA for a few months, but found after some time that I could no longer relate.

It’s good you’ve stocked up on healthy foods and the long weekend can provide a good opportunity to get a good start on things. Here’s a few things that may be of assistance:

- Stay in the present moment – it’s the only moment that counts! Dwelling on the past or future will serve you no good at this time.

- Don’t beat yourself up emotionally, mentally or physically. What has happened has happened – you can’t change that.

- Try to relax your mind and body. Take a nice bath or shower, listen to some quiet music – whatever it is that helps you to relax.

- Drink plenty of water and eat whatever healthy foods you feel up to.

- Educate yourself about possible withdrawal symptoms. There is a lot of information on this site about this aspect (I Googled the internet and found a lot of good information also).

- Seek medical assistance if you happen to experience any withdrawal symptoms which could be considered as ‘at risk’.

- Rest your body and mind – but if you feel up to doing something that is great (even it is some light house cleaning, washing your car, or even going to see a movie).

- Read the many helpful, informative and inspiring articles provided by Patrick on this site.

- Read up on the previous posts on this forum thread.

- Stock up on alternative non-alcoholic drinks as it is important to keep hydrated. I have also found the habit of having a drink in hand can help to soothe oneself (remembering there are many elements to addiction and just having a drink in hand in the early stages can help – non-alcoholic that is.) I like cranberry juice and soda water on ice.

- Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

- If you have someone you can talk to about this, and you are comfortable with doing so, this may help.

- If you experience any strong urges or triggers to drink, quickly remove yourself from the situation, breathe deep and calm your mind. Try not to act on impulse – the urge will pass.

- Trust the process of life and know and believe you have the power within you to be the person you want to be!

Take care. Regards,

Jeff

[nomoredayones]

Thank you so much Jeff and Kip. I really want this time to "stick". I have children but the long weekend does give me some "down time" from my job. I stocked up on vitamins, supplements, fluids, and healthy foods. Even though I drank tonight, I took a 45 minute fitness walk this morning. I want to exercise every day. That would be a new (healthy) behavior for me. I love to read too so I want to do that in my "quiet" time. I even bought herbal tea. :-) Also, the kids are a positive distraction. They have had a drunk as a mother for too long.

[nomoredayones]

I am so nervous. I know I am going to wake up tomorrow depressed and hungover. I want to get through tomorrow sober........

[JeffR1]

Hi Morgan.

I know that nervousness, as well as the fear, guilt, shame, depression, remorse, helplessness and all those other emotions connected with addiction. For now, try to remain in the present moment - tomorrow will come, but it is not here yet.

The thing about tomorrow is that we never know what it will bring. Perhaps you may wake up depressed and hungover, but perhaps you may not. If you do, it might be the very thing that triggers in you a further awakening, a new way forward, something to give you the hope that things will work out.

The only thing you can control right now - and tomorrow, the next day and every day - is your current thought. I try to practice a technique I read about, and that is 'Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change!'

I know it sounds great in theory, but in practice, well, it takes practice. But, I believe it does work.

Perhaps you could begin right now by just accepting what the present moment holds and change your mind about what might happen tomorrow. No need to mull over tomorrow endlessly, just accept that no matter what happens you have the power within you to change your mind about what is.

And if you wake up depressed and hungover, change your mind about how you view this by looking at it in different way - the beginning of a new beginning perhaps!

Take care.

Jeff

[nomoredayones]

Thank you Jeff. It is nice to be amongst others who understand....

[nomoredayones]

Thank you Sam. I need to stop drinking but I don't know how I am going to do it.......

[Allyson]

This is a great site and I really appreciate the helpful advice here. If there are women agreeable. To talking by phone please pm me. I'm struggling a bit with relapse and...I'm sure you get the picture. No pressure of course. Going to sleep ASAP as just back from a long trip. Allyson
.

[nomoredayones]

Well, today is Day 1 for me. I feel shaky and anxious. I wish I could just stay in bed but that is not an option since I have children. I just want to get through the day. It is only 12:30 in the afternoon but I am looking forward to going to bed for the night. I just want to get a few days together so I can feel stronger.
I am worried about all the damage I may have done to my health from drinking. I wonder if it is too late for me. I don't want to live this way anymore. I hate being a drunk.

[JeffR1]

Hi Morgan,

No doubt, day ones are difficult and I note your UserID suggests you want no more day ones!

I am not a medical practitioner so I can only provide suggestions from my own experience. Are you shaky because you are anxious? Or, are you shaky because you are going through alcohol withdrawal syndrome?

Not knowing your drinking history, I would suggest if you think you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms that you should see your doctor or visit your local ER to get medical help.

I spoke with my doctor and she prescribed a short five day course of Valium to help relieve withdrawal symptoms. I believe that has helped me, not only with lessening the physical withdrawal symptoms, but also in helping to relieve the anxiety.

I feel it is important at this point not to be focussing on what, if any, damage alcohol has, or may have, done to your body. This may only add to the potential to say ‘F… it, I’ve already hurt my body, so I may as well keep on drinking.’. I sense though that is not what you want to do.

It is also important you have a plan for the rest of the day. Try to remain calm and do what you can to get through. I suggest you write out a plan for the rest of today so you have something to guide and help you. Try if you can to do some of the things that have been written on this forum by other members that helped them through day one and read Patrick’s articles for advice and guidance.

Be kind to yourself and know that tomorrow things can be better.

Take care,

Jeff

[John2012]

Morgan...It is certainly not too late. The human body is an amazing machine. Once you start taking care of yourself your body will respond. The vitamins will help but don't over do it. Taking a bunch of vitamins can put additional strain on the liver. Water is key.

Jeff's advice on carrying a substitute drink in hand is really good. Get something strong that you won't just slam down. Tonic with a LOT of lime juice on ice works for me.

Keep reading and posting.

John

[Samantha]

Hi Morgan, congrats on day 1. I am the same age as you and I was drinking a similar amount of wine as you nightly. So I can relate. The first few days to week I was on edge, cranky, tired and anxious like your saying. You will start feeling better physically the longer you are away from a drink. I felt the same way too, that I had harmed myself physically with all the alcohol so it almost seemed hopeless. But the body has the amazing ability to heal so dont give up. The alcoholic in you wants to tell you its hopeless so you drink. But its not. Life is much better without alcohol and you can do it. Dont be hard on yourself. Just know you are going through some withdrawal for the first week or so but it does get better. Get lots of rest, lots of water and dont set alot of goals. Just focus on one thing today, dont drink. No matter what, dont drink. Thats your job for today. Keep it simple.

Patricks articles are a great lifesaver. If you can read some maybe before you go to sleep or first thing in the morning. He puts it all in perspective. And just keep posting here. There are so many wonderful great people on the forum that know exactly how you feel.

Sam how are you doing?

[nomoredayones]

Thank you so much Samantha, John, and Jeff. I think the shakiness is my anxiety. It has gotten better. My doctor prescribed Klonopin and also said to use it for 5 days to ward off any withdrawal problems. I have no desire to drink, just a lot of fear and regret. I really never do want to take another drink but I know it is just a matter of time before the cravings return. Unlike the past, I have to do something different this time - not give into them and drink.
I am so glad I found this site.

[Kip]

Good morning my friends..too many to count! I hope you all had a sober, or at least reflective, weekend. Just wanted to extend my encouragement to all as we roll (or rolled as is the case for our friends over oceans..) into Monday. Reading this forum up to about pg 127 over the weekend kept me sober. No doubt about that.

Morgan, hang in there and be strong. I think you can see how people here really want to pull you along. Strength in numbers and the folks here really care. As Sam says, it's a wholesale change of lifestyle. That's what I've failed to do before. Seems every minute is consumed thinking about sobriety, such is the power of this thing. It is a journey that we are all taking and we can always find someone a little bit ahead on the path to pull you along while we look next to us or "behind" to help a friend in need. I firmly believe that, even with slips, this journey is transformational if we can just stay with it.

Made day 15 yesterday. No real craving (ha..not true) but so much time on weekend afternoons when I would normally drink. So I ran and did a long dog walk with my wife. Evenings I am just exhausted. And a bit crankier than last week. I hear many of you say that, but it hit me this weekend. Mornings, no problem but terribly tired about 7 pm. Is this common halfway to 30? It may be because of the energy required to stay sober, physical changes, etc... Not to mention running like I'm getting paid for it. Oh, I am - in serenity... Exercise is so powerful.

Start new position in my company today w two months technical training. Getting sober came just in time cause this old brain is gonna get stretched far..And no time to sneak out and drink. Happy Monday to all of you. Let it shine, kip

[Allyson]

Hitting the reset button here this morning to Day 1. For all you fellow discouraged serial Day 1 ers out there, take heart and keep trying. I have to laugh today when I think of what I went through when I quit smoking ( years ago). It was a battle to put it mildly. It took me over 100 tries and at times I felt hopeless, but nevertheless today I'm a non-smoker. I hope you're doing well Morgan. Samantha, I'm going to return to your advice throughout the day and try to keep it simple. I've had and still have a lot on my plate as far as work and family responsibilities. I also have a cold now and I'm thinking I may need to cut my workday a little short. We shall see. I'm very much a fatigue drinker so avoiding exhaustion is always a good idea for me.

[AlisonUK]

Hi everyone from around the world. I'm on day 16 now. The weekend was tough but I wouldn't cave in. My husband was bladdered most of the weekend but that's down to him. He did phone me this morning from work sounding very depressed and all that goes with it! I on the other hand was over the dog park at 8am both mornings feeling great. How smug! I have had no reasons not to drink as my daughters were out Saturday night and the bottle of scotch was staring at me every timeI went into the kitchen but I looked at it like a dangerous, violent relationship that kept me locked up.
Morgan.... I (and I'm sure the rest of us) are rooting for you. These last couple of weeks, my eldest daughter said to my husband 'mum doesn't talk weird in the evenings anymore'. They have both endured that for years. Also false promises that I can't remember the next day. I also fell into bed most nights without saying goodnight and waking up in the morning and they had already gone to school. Thank good it's in walking distance. That has all changed now. I cannot beat myself up about that because that's gone and that cannot be changed. As for the physical damage, I have that. I have very little stomach lining that was diagnosed through an endoscopy (camera down the throat) worst experience ever by the way. So when I drank, the pain was excruciating so I drank even more to dull it!!!. My liver count was above normal too. Listen, It's hard but worth the stop. My doctor will do another liver test in another couple of weeks, so that's even more of an incentive to not drink. JOHN2012, Corporate events? your on antibiotics or you have your car with you. People will soon back off. Lastly everyone, try this drink.
I banana
75ml low fat coconut milk
75ml pineapple juice
squeeze of lime
couple of ice cubes
Put all into a blender...........enjoy.
Its nearly midday here on a cold sunny Monday. I best get ready for work (only a short day today)
Love to you all
Alison

[James G]

To all the new comers and the others long in the tooth. I continue to stay the course, and am closing in on 2 months of sobriety next week.

This journey of abstinence is such a double edge sword. On one side it seems easy but in a split second it can turn on you and tear your insides up!

Classic case of good vs. evil...Life goes on with or without alcohol but it is up to each one of us individually and collectively to make the choice not to drink today.

We all have to believe that God has directed us to this forum for a reason. It is up to us to open up our hearts and listen to what he is telling us! (Alcohol is a problem in our lives)

It's hard to image never, never having that drink again. That thought can bring me down and seem overwhelming enough to just say forget it, can't be done in my world!

Images of alcohol surround us daily. All social events from birthdays to office gatherings are literally centered around drinking.

Were being bombarded constantly.

It can feel exhausting at times.

One day at a time...so true!

[bdog]

welcome Morgan. I too worry about my health and the damage I have done the last two years. I do know that even after 3 or 4 days without drinking I feel ten times better so i can only imagine what 30 60 or a year would feel like. The hard part for me is that I can get thru the week but the weekends are nightmares. It didnt use to be like this but I chose the wrong path and now im trying to get of it. So much good information on this site need to find a way to actually do and not just read.

[nomoredayones]

Thank you so much Sam, Kip, Allyson, and bdog.
I understand Sam. My member name can tell you my story! I have had more day one's than I can count. I got to the point where I wanted to just give up but what does that mean? Drink myself to death slowly in front of my kids? They don't deserve that.
I could write a book bdog on all the things to do to stay sober. Did I mention I would be writing that book with a glass of wine in my hand? Take my advice. It is good stuff and I am not using it! (I try to have a sense of humor). Well, now I have got to use it.
Today is Day 2 and I slept well last night (10 hours!) and I woke up feeling less anxious. I have lists of things I want to do (I am off from work this week) but I felt a bit daunted when I thought about them all. My main objective is to stay sober. Period. If I can do that for awhile, it will all get easier. I have faith in that.
The kids are home from school today so I am just focused on having a serene, sober day and taking care of the basics.
This is a wonderful site and I am so happy to be able to "read" from people who can understand what I am experiencing. I have been so ashamed of my alcohol abuse and the damage I have done. I want to repair and move toward a brighter, healthier future. Thank you all for being there.

[Mel]

Hey everyone - so many new people and great energy. I've been running around - spent a long weekend with a friend in Chicago (my old drinking buddy from previous vacation posts) . . . and we both didn't drink. And we still laughed our asses off and had a great time. One day while having brunch, he said 'remember how in the good-bad days we would have been here 'till closing?' He wasn't wrong.

Also, what made it easier to stay away from the booze - new diet (no alcohol for one month as part of the 'program'), horrible terrible no good cold-flu, and I found out that I've made it to the next round of interviews for a permanent job - and that would not have been possible if I had not stayed sober during the first round. Good things come to those who are non-drinkers - and also, real and painful things, but at least I'm getting to a place where I can deal with all of it. Level-headed and even-keeled.